The Bet
by summerleigh81
Summary: Playboy Edward makes a bet that he can get any girl, but when that girl turns out to be Bella things get a little out of hand. He's intrigued by her, but she only sees him as a player. What happens when she finds out she's pregnant? LEMONS AH OOC CC
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - I own nothing Twilight related.

A/N - This story is rated M for a big reason (cussing, sexual stuff, teen pregnancy, some drug and alcohol use are also mentioned, and more foul language). As you know from the summary Bella does get prego so just so you know there are discussions about all of her options so if the topics and various opinions of abortion or adoption are something you don't want to hear about you have been warned. (Bella is not the one that does drugs or drinks so I didn't want anyone to worry about that).

This is planned to be a shorter story, but if it turns out that I'm apologizing in the chapter 50 author notes…I wouldn't be surprised, lol.

**Chapter 1**

**The Bet**

**EPOV**

I stood on the sidelines with Mike Newton and listened to him drone on and on about all of the girls he was banging. Whatever, I'm a firm believer in quality and not quantity and judging from this conversation Mike is not.

"Whatever dude, I could get any girl I want, but the thing is I don't want all of them. One good one is enough for me." or a couple of good ones as it happened to be from time to time, but that's beside the point. I was never exclusive with anyone because I knew I would cheat and I would never do that…

"Yeah, keep dreaming you can't get any girl you want. Just because you're the quarterback and that shit seems to get the girls wet doesn't mean you could get anyone."

"Pu-lease Mikey, being quarterback has nothing to do with it. There's many other reasons the girls get all hot and bothered for me" I said with a wink.

"Oh yeah, you care to make a wager on that?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"I pick the girl and I bet you a $1,000 you can't hit it by the end of next week." I was a little wary on the fact that he'd be picking the girl I mean sure big girls need lovin' too but I'm not exactly the cattle rancher for the job. The money didn't matter, I had plenty of that and Mike did too. We were what some would consider blessed to be born into successful families, but I really doubted the blessed part, for myself anyway.

"No mayor of Cowtown and make that double if I can seal the deal by tonight."

"Aw Eddie, have a little faith I have no intention to trick you with Shamu, but if you want to up the ante so much than I'm gonna have to ask for proof."

"Whatever queerbate, but don't ask me to videotape the shit or anything. I have no desire to show you my junk."

"Asshole, despite what you think in that over inflated head of your's everyone isn't out for your junk and I was going to say panties."

"Yeah fine, name the bitch and write out the check motherfucker. Oh, and that was just a figure of speech, I only accept cash."

"Don't get ahead of yourself and her" he pointed to the bleachers and my head turned so fast I thought I had given myself whiplash.

"Who?" I said squinting trying to follow his finger to the right girl when the stands were fucking packed. It was homecoming and the majority of the fucking school was sitting up there. He put his big sweaty, nasty hands on my cheeks moving my face over and said 'her".

"No way, pick someone else." He just stared at me in disbelief. "No fucking way Newton pick someone else." I said in almost a growl.

"Hold on there hot stuff, I thought you said you could get anyone? Just because I picked the one girl you can't get doesn't mean you get to back out like a pussy."

"No, it's not that I can't get her, it's that I can. She's innocent, a virgin or some shit and I don't plan on fucking with the police chief's daughter and getting shot."

"Dude, you can either get any girl or you can't and don't let that innocent demeanor fool you for one minute. That bitch is probably looser than skanky Stanley. I've seen her in La Push, she hangs out with all those huge rez guys and is probably wore the fuck out like dead fuck Lauren. "

I don't know why, but hearing Mike talk about her like that made me want to punch him in the face, not that Mike didn't have that effect on people, but still I never defended anyone but myself and here I stood with my fists clenched and my teeth gritting together.

"Fine, deal." I said shaking his hand and watching the huge smile spread across his cocky face. I was going to so enjoy taking his fucking money.

"Hey, you little girls want to play some football or are you gonna stand around and hold hands all night!" The coach screamed in our faces.

"Yes coach!" We ran out to our spots in the field and got ready to play the biggest game of the season.

***

When the game was over, and we of course won, I was making my way towards the gate and my car so I could stop at home before the dance. The other guys were in the locker room showering, but I preferred to take a shower in the comfort of my own big ass bathroom where I could stand in my equally big ass closet and pick out one of my hot as fuck outfits. Yeah, I admit that's shit is kind of girly, but I'll be damned if I didn't look good.

'Fuck me' I thought when I saw her standing by the bleachers looking lost and scared like a little fucking child. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to that stupid bet. I would have completely forgotten about it after the kick ass game I just played if she wasn't standing right in front of me looking like she was getting ready to cry for her mommy and shit.

"Hey, Isabella are you looking for someone?"

"Oh, hi Edward. Um yeah, I came with my friend Jacob, but the last time I saw him he was talking to Lauren and I think they left me."

"Yeah, well knowing her they probably did." she furrowed her brow at me and then walked away. She didn't say one other word just walked the fuck away. I was baffled I never had a girl do something short of hanging on my ankle and beg me not to walk away as I dragged them along. Well, not exactly but you get the point.

"Hey Isabella wait!" She turned around with a dirty look on her face and I about pinched myself to see if I was dreaming.

"Actually, it's Bella and is there something I can help you with because I need to get home?" she was standing there with her hand on her hip, tapping her foot in the gravel, and looking at me like I was an asshole for wasting her precious time. I knew I was an asshole, but I never got that look from anyone and I think it was turning me on or maybe that was just from looking at her. She had on a jean skirt that wasn't long, but wasn't hooker short either it showed off the goods just enough to get a motherfucker's attention and her shirt was a dark green with buttons down the neck showing off the lace of a brown tank top underneath, and a brown head band held her long brown hair out of her face. The rich mahogany colored hair went down to her waist and was slightly curled and it danced around her thin frame in the breeze.

"How are you getting home Bella?" I said with a big smile really trying to turn on the charm.

"On my broom stick. How do you think I'm getting there? I told you my friend left me, I'm walking."

Sarcasm, avoidance, and pure just blowing me off (and definitely not in a good way) I was utterly turned on by this girl.

"Listen, it's dark and it really wouldn't be out of my way to take you home."

"No thanks"

"What do you mean no thanks? It's dark outside." I was almost breathless I was so confused. I couldn't even come up with a better reason than it being fucking dark out. I just wanted to smack myself in the head.

" I mean No. Thank. You. And yes it's dark, that happens at night, but funny thing I can still find my way home unlike some of the stupid bimbo's you associate with and even if I couldn't I'd still take my chances in a town of 327 where my father is patrolling in his police car as we speak." She turned around quickly making her hair flip in a sex hot, sassy kind of way and she started walking away again.

Shit maybe Mike was right, maybe this was the one girl I couldn't get and for some reason that made me want her so fucking bad.

"Look, I'm sorry I was just trying to be nice, but if you'd rather walk than have at it. Be safe, Bella." I turned to walk to my car and started counting 1-2-3-4-5-

"Wait Edward! I'm sorry, I'm just so mad at Jake for doing this shit to me…again. I really shouldn't have taken it out on you." Boo-ya baby that's called reverse fucking psychology. I almost high fived myself right then and there.

"Do you want a ride home or do you want to go back and check to see if he came back?"

"Um, I guess we could check. I mean he might be looking for me."

"Yeah, let me put this stuff in my trunk and I'll look with you and if we don't find him I'll drive you home"

"OK"

We were walking back to the football field when Bella walked right under the light coming from one of the huge lights. Here pale skin looked like it glowed and the way the soft curls fell around her face made her look like an angel. She looked up at me and her dark brown eyes made everything I said come to life. She looked like an innocent little deer and that would make me a big fucking wolf or coyote or some shit. She smiled at me and I drug my hand through my sweat soaked hair and smiled back nervously. What the fuck was I doing? Edward Cullen doesn't get nervous by girls or think they look like angels, this girl was going to be the death of me for sure.

"I don't see him anywhere. They're probably doin' it in the car or something." she let out a big sigh and let her head hang down. I had to fight the urge to fucking hug her and tell her it was going to be ok. The more I looked at her the more I was baffled. I really couldn't tell if this girl was truly innocent or just pure evil in disguise casting some voodoo spell on me, making me feel things I've never felt before.

"Maybe they're under the bleachers." I added seriously, but then scolded myself because I really did want to drive her home just to have her in my car and have her talk some more. I wasn't even thinking about the stupid bet anymore. I was completely enthralled with figuring out the mysteries of this girl.

We walked almost the entire length of the home set of bleachers. She was slightly in front of me and I was very much enjoying the view when all of a sudden she turned around and ran right into me.

I caught her in my arms, her hands pressed against my chest, and she looked up at me with her wide doe eyes staring straight at the coyote.

I wasn't even thinking and leaned down to press my lips against hers. She returned the kiss with her mouth moving slowly to match mine, but then speeding up. Her hands moved up from my chest to my hair. Our passionate kiss was escalating fast. I brought my hands from her back to her face and cupped it gently as my tongue met hers inside her mouth. She tasted so good like candy or something.

Behind her was a cement post that supported one of the beams to the bleachers. I lifted her up and sat her on it without breaking our kiss. My kisses drifted from her lips to her neck as my hands slowly went up the front of her shirt.

I had done this a million times, but I actually felt nervous like she might swat my hand away or knee me in the junk at any given second and it was nothing short of exhilarating.

I undid her bra and let my hands cup her breasts. They weren't huge like Tanya's that would probably touch her knees before she graduated college, but she was far from flat chested - she was perfect.

I gently rubbed her tits while I was still kissing her neck and I heard a soft moan escape her mouth that nearly made me cum right in my fucking pants.

I pulled her skirt up enough to where I could push up against her and show her how hard she had gotten me. She met my cock eagerly and rubbed right back. I undid my pants just enough and then pulled her white underwear off and stuck them in my pocket and that's when I remembered.

"Bella, we should stop. We don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean -" She looked like I had just killed a puppy in front of her and I hated it. Something about when she looked sad that made me want to do anything for it to go away. She took in a ragged breath and looked down away from my eyes as if she was ashamed. I put my finger under her chin and lifted her head so I could look right into her eyes.

"Bella, I want nothing more than to do this, but it doesn't have to be like this. We don't have to do this at all."

Her lips crashed into mine and she said "I want to. I want you so bad." right into my mouth. There's was no going back now, that was so fucking hot my dick almost exploded.

I tried to be gentle and slow, but for Christ's sakes we were under the fucking bleachers and her ass was on a piece of cement, not exactly the epitome of comfort.

When we finished I kissed her one more time full of passion. I never wanted to forget the way this girl tasted. I latched her bra and helped her off of the post and then kissed the top of her head.

I didn't know exactly what to do so I grabbed her hand and held it in mine as we walked slowly back to my car. I knew she was sore and I didn't want to rush her. I had been right all along, big surprise, that girl was definitely a virgin, with a big fat emphasis on the was.

We walked in silence and I didn't really know what to say "Hey thanks for your v-card maybe I'll buy you something with the $2,000 you just made me." I hated that bet in this moment, but more than that I hated myself. I liked this girl, I mean really liked her not just could put up with her to get laid like I did with other girls, but I knew it would never work out. We would always have this bet thing hanging over our heads or maybe that was my excuse because this fallen angel scared the fucking shit out of me.

We had gotten back to the parking lot and I knew I had to say something.

"Bella, I just wanted to tell you -"

"Bella! Bella! Oh my god, I've been looking all over for you!"

She dropped my hand like a bad habit and I got a really dirty look on my face.

"Jake, where the hell have you been!?"

"Bella you knew where the hell I was going, I left with that hooker Laurie or whatever. I'm sorry."

He got a really sad look on his face, fake and cheesy as hell, and wrapped her in his arms and kissed her on the head where I just had. I had to fight the urge to punch the fucker right in the face. Apparently this girl made me want to do that to guys a lot.

"I was all by myself Jake. If I wasn't lucky enough to have Edward offer to help me I would've been walking the dark streets alone." She emphasized the word lucky like I wasn't a piece of shit predator that just took advantage of the sweetest girl I've ever met. Wait a fucking minute did I just say sweet? I need a shower and a stiff drink really fucking bad.

Anyway, a moment ago it was 'duh it's dark at night time ' and 'my daddy's the police' and 'there's only 300 people in this town' and now it was all dark mean streets and shit. She was clearly trying to guilt trip this fool and he was so falling for it.

"Aw, my beautiful Bells if you weren't such a prude I would never leave your side."

Her face turned beet red and she smacked him on the arm which wasn't good enough at all. It was taking every last bit of restraint I had to not break this fucker's nose.

"Well Bella, I better be getting home. I'm glad you found your friend." I was the exact opposite of glad and I was actually quite pissed that he still had his arm around her. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her or kiss her or something, but I didn't think she wanted me to.

"Goodnight Edward, thank you." She said it so sweetly and genuine that I only felt like more of an ass. I managed one really fake ass smile and turned around to walk to my car. I walked slowly kicking rocks on the way and I turned around to look at her one last time.

Jake still had his arm around her and her head was leaning against him. I didn't understand it, but at the given moment I didn't understand a lot of shit.

**A/N - So, there's the first chapter. I have big things planned for our favorite duo (well, at least they're my fave duo). Let me know what you think!**

**Next chapter is the homecoming dance, but I don't know if Bella will be there or not. What do you want to see?**

**Reviews are better than banging Edward under the bleachers…yeah not really.**


	2. Chapter 2 The Winning

**Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I do not.**

**A/N - Thanks to everyone who added this story to their alerts and reviewed! We're going to be moving right along so, here we go with right where we left off.**

**Oh, and I know that last chapter was all underlined and I don't know why that happened because I didn't underline anything, but I hope that doesn't happen again.**

**Enjoy!**

The Winning

Chapter 2

**EPOV**

Winning is supposed to feel good right? Especially when $2,000 comes with that win, but I felt like total shit. I walked out of the bathroom with the white bath towel wrapped around my waist and a glass of scotch in my hand as I made my way into my closet to find something to wear to the dance.

Truth was if I wasn't covered in dirt and sweat from playing football I probably would've skipped the shower just to go to bed with the smell of her on my skin. I have no idea what kind of crazy shit that is, but it totally freaks me out that I feel the urge to buy some strawberry shampoo just so I could smell the way her hair did. I don't know, but I'm beginning to think I was drugged or something.

I was standing there looking at all my clothes, but all I could see was her face. Her big brown eyes, the expression on her face when we were doing it under the bleachers. Yeah, I said 'doing it' like I'm in third fucking grade, but it wasn't just fucking and I'm sure as hell not going to say making love so whatever, doing it. I wanted to see her, I wanted to call her up right now and ask her if she was going to the dance, but I didn't even have her phone number.

It was the weirdest feeling that I just wanted to be around her, like I missed her. I never missed anyone, except for my mom, but that was different.

I grabbed a Ralph Lauren button up shirt that had light blue and white stripes and put on some khakis with a brown belt and some brown shoes. I got a hand full of gel and made sure that I covered every last strand of hair in it so that now my hair was not only messy, but also covered in goo. Nope, looking this good is not easy. I almost winked at myself in the mirror, but I was having a hard time looking at myself after what I had done tonight.

I grabbed the underwear and debated if I really wanted to go through with this or not. I decided that I was already going to hell so I might as well do it with some extra clout and cash.

I held the panties up and just stared at them for a minute. They were white with little indention design things of flowers all over them with a little pink flower sewn on the front that looked like it would line up with her belly button. I didn't even get to see her belly button I thought sadly, maybe I should've tried to get her to come home with me, but the truth was I wasn't even trying to get in her panties, the ones I was in fact holding now, when we were under the bleachers. I was genuinely helping her look for her sorry excuse for a friend when she ran smack dab into me. I was replaying the whole incident in my mind when my phone rang and I grabbed it out of my pocket.

The screen said it was Tanya well, actually it said "Saggy Tits McGee" but in fact that meant Tanya. I pressed ignore and went back to staring at my panties. Well, not my panties, but Bella's panties.

They were string bikini's and they looked fucking tiny. I went back to wishing I could have seen her lying on my bed in these fucking things.

"Ugh, I'm going fucking crazy!" I said out loud and to just prove my point I answered "Yes, you are."

I put on my letterman jacket and shoved the panties in the pocket before walking out the door to leave for the dance.

I walked into the school paying the whatever stupid charge they had to get into the dance and letting the underclassmen stamp my hand. I heard her giggle to her friend about touching my hand and it made me roll my eyes.

I walked into the bathroom to find Mike, as I knew I would, snorting some coke with one of his tweaked out loser friends. He looked up to find me twirling the underwear around me finger and a big cocky grin on my face.

"No way motherfucker!"

"I can't believe it myself, for a minute I actually thought she might punch me in the junk." I said completely truthful.

"Let me see those" he snatched them out of my hand like her initials were going to be monogrammed on the fucking back or something. "These are probably you're fucking sister's"

"Yeah right, they'd more likely be your fucking sister's, Alice only wears Victoria Secret, she wouldn't be caught dead in those." His eyes quickly moved from the underwear to me and I felt nervous. "Dude, I've been to the mall with her and the step-mom before, you know that place isn't really a secret." I rolled my eyes at his stupidity.

"Whatever, are they really hers?"

"Yeah dude and you were totally wrong about all that shit you said, she was _nothing_ like Jessica or Lauren." His mouth was agape and he shook his head slightly side to side in disbelief.

"Fine motherfucker, but this is some sort of fluke I swear. You probably paid her off for the underwear-"

"Fuck dude, I wouldn't exactly mention a fucking bet I had with someone about nailing them because that would be totally counterproductive, but I guess that's why I'm the smooth one and you're… not. Anyway, the point is she knows nothing about the bet and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Sure whatever, you lucky bastard. Here's part of it catch up with me tomorrow for the rest." He said handing over a wad of cash and I snatched the panties out of his hand and walked away before he could protest.

I was wrong, dead wrong I didn't enjoy taking that fucker's money at all. I had actually thought I couldn't feel any worse, but in that moment I felt like an even bigger piece of shit.

I walked into the gym that had streamers and balloons strewn all over the place. A loud song was playing that I didn't recognize, but then again I wasn't really trying. Colored lights were rotating around the room and I desperately searched for the girl with the chocolate eyes.

"Hey, Eddie baby!" Tanya screeched as she threw her arms around me and pressed the aforementioned saggy tatas against me.

"I told you not to call me that." I replied in an unenthusiastic tone.

"What? Eddie or baby?" I would have said she was playing dumb, but there was no playing about it.

"Either one. Tanya, I've got to go."

"But you just got here, wait!"

I spotted a head of beautiful, wavy brown hair and made my way over to it like it was a magnet drawing me in.

"Excuse me." I said while I gently tapped her shoulder. She turned around and all I saw were glasses and braces.

"Oh, I'm sorry I thought you were someone else." I muttered. I don't think she heard me, but it didn't matter I was quickly making my way through the crowd looking for her everywhere.

I walked around for at least an hour. I lost count of how many dances I turned down and how many times I went to the 'bathroom' to dodge girls I didn't want to talk to. I think Tanya finally got the point that I wasn't interested in talking to her and I saw her dancing with Mike who didn't seem to mind at all.

I went and sat on the bleachers and after I don't know how long of staring at the crowd of dancing teenagers I decided it was time I just leave and go home. After all it _was_ a dance and I hadn't danced once and all I was doing was avoiding people that did want to dance. I let out a big sigh and let my head fall into my hands while I tried to compose myself and give myself the courage to just give up on seeing her again tonight and leave.

"Excuse me, but I believe you have something that belongs to me."

I looked up and saw the beautiful girl that had haunted my memories all night. She was even more beautiful standing in front of me even though it was dark and I could barely see her. I came to the conclusion that I could be blind and I would still find her beautiful or maybe I had been blind. I had went to school with this girl for a year and never really noticed her. We had classes together and walked in the same hallways and never did I stop to notice or maybe I was just too busy with the bimbos as she had put it. That seemed like the most feasible explanation as I suppose she had been way better off before I decided to plague her existence. I had no right to taint her the way I did. I had said she was a fallen angel, but she didn't fall, I pushed her and I was right to have never pursued her before, but now it was too late I was in far too deep to turn around now.

She made a coughing noise and wiggled the fingers of her outstretched hand.

"I'm sorry Miss, but I haven't the faintest idea what your talking about."

"Really?"

Her little hand moved so quickly in the dark I didn't even see it dive into my right pocket and swipe out her panties. She turned around with a huff and started to walk away. Jesus, if that girl didn't have such a fine ass I would be getting very tired of her walking away from me all the damn time.

"Wait!" There was a good chance that she didn't hear me over the loud music, but I knew that wasn't the case. I picked up the pace and darted in front of her so she had to stop.

"You can't just pickpocket me and walk away."

"I'm pretty sure I just did and I can't believe you were walking around with these in your pocket. No wait, yes I can." she started to walk away for the millionth time before I stepped in front of her again.

"Bella please. I've been looking for you all night. Will you please dance with me?"

"Are you freaking serious? Edward Cullen wants to dance with me!?" She was laughing at the idea and I'm not sure if my face looked more hurt or confused. This girl made me feel like a pansy and yet I couldn't walk away.

"Why wouldn't I Bella?"

"Oh, I don't know because one of your tricks might see us or one of your friends or you might come to your senses and realize that you're embarrassing yourself in front of the whole school."

"Not even half the school is here, Bella." Not the smartest thing to say I admit that, but she was making absolutely no sense.

"Whatever."

"Bella, please I don't care what anyone thinks and why would I be embarrassed?"

"Listen, I'm not one of your stupid bimbos I knew what was going on under the bleachers. A one time fling, that's cool. In the real world Bella Swan would never have a chance with Edward Cullen and I took the opportunity as the one crazy thing I've done in all my teenage years. You don't have to pretend to like me or acknowledge that I'm alive or even dance with me. Oh, and thanks for my underwear back." she stood on her tippy toes and kissed my cheek before getting lost in the sea of people in the middle of the gym.

I just stood there like the idiot that I am with my hand pressed against my cheek trying to remember how the heat from her lips felt there.

I left out the side door of the gym and sat in my Volvo for a minute contemplating on whether I should look for her or maybe stop by her house if she already left. I didn't really feel like getting shot so maybe I could ask someone for her number.

If I did get her number what would I say? I never called girls unless it was a booty call. Would I say "Bella, I just wanted to bang you to win a bet, but now I'm falling n love with you."?

No, Edward Cullen doesn't fall in love with random girls, or any girls for that matter, and I don't beg girls that obviously have no interest in me and by girls I mean Bella since she's the only girl I've met since kindergarten that wouldn't give me the time of day. I didn't like that fact, but I wasn't going to beg the girl either.

I went home and crawled into bed. Sleep didn't come easy as I was the only one in the huge ass house and I hated that feeling although I should be accustomed to it by now. My dad was at work at the hospital, my older brother Emmett was away at college, and my sister Alice was off with her boyfriend Jasper somewhere and since no one ever really paid attention to what we did she probably wouldn't stroll in until Sunday evening. My step mother Esme was here, well all the way across the house sleeping, but she didn't count. I don't mean that in a rude way, although yes I admit it's rude, I just never got over the fact that my father had so easily replaced my mom. It wasn't Esme's fault, but I always pushed her away until finally she quit trying to get close to me. She had Alice who she was very close with. I didn't care, Alice needed that type of attention and she was a girl after all and she deserved to have a mom, all she ever deserved her whole life was to have a mom so I held no grudge against my sister. Emmett, he had a close relationship with the mailman that's just how he is so it didn't bother me that they both called Esme mom. She was a mom, a really good one too, but just not mine. I knew it was unfair to her because she would have done so well at being a mother if she was able to have her own children, but instead she was stuck with us.

I drifted off to sleep to be enveloped by a swirling cloud of brown.

I woke up with a bright idea and now here I sit on my bed with the phonebook on my lap. I contemplated for a brief moment as to whether I should try to find Chief Swan's phone number or the local florist.

I had never sent a girl flowers in my entire life, but I really wanted to send Bella flowers. I told myself it was because I just made a large amount of money off of her, but if it had been someone else that bitch wouldn't have even gotten her panties back let alone flowers.

After a minute of careful deliberation I looked up Bella's address and then the phone number for the florist. I thought for a moment as to whether or not I wanted to just deliver them myself and then remembered that I still did not want to get shot.

"Hello, The Flower Boutique how can I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like to order a bouquet of flowers to be delivered."

"Sure Sir, What would you like?"

" A dozen roses, with that white crap, in a big fancy vase, and stick a little stuffed animal or something in there too because I think chicks dig that shit." Like I said I had never done this before and I had no clue what I was doing. I was absolutely not original, but it was classic right? I don't know, but I was pretty certain about the stuffed animal crap. My sister is 18 fucking years old and she still goes all ape shit for teddy bears and stuff like that and has them all over her room so I'm guessing that Bella would like that shit too. I heard the girl on the other end giggle before she repeated my order.

"A dozen red roses with baby's breath in a large vase with a small teddy bear in the middle is that correct?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Ok, what would you like the card to say?"

"Oh hell, I didn't think about that part."

"Well, most of our cards say stuff on them already like I Love You, With Sympathy, Get Well Soon, Congratulations, Thinking of You -"

"Yeah, thinking of you and sign my name Edward Cullen." I think I heard a small gasp, but I can't be certain since I didn't recognize the voice.

I gave her my credit card information and Bella's address and that was that. Now I just had to wait.

**A/N - I'm thinking that next chapter will be in BPOV. Let me know what you think. Don't hesitate with questions or suggestions.**

**Reviews are better than getting your panties back from Edward…maybe.**


	3. Chapter 3 The Flowers

**Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Summer owns an apple. **

**A/N - I'm amazed at all the favorites and alerts this story has been added to, you guys rock! **

**We're gonna switch it up to see what's going on in Bella's head, but don't worry it ends with EPOV. I hope you enjoy it!**

**I don't officially have a beta so the buck stops here, but my awesome beta from my other story does help me when I have storyline problems and just problems in general…I love you Lulu!**

**Chapter 3**

**The Flowers**

**BPOV**

"Hello, are you Bella Swan?" Well, who the hell else would I be Charlie? I'm pretty certain the whole town knew who lived where, and probably a lot more intimate details than that, especially when it came to the police chief.

"Yes, I am."

"Please sign this" He held out a clipboard with a pen stuck under the clip that was holding a piece of paper. That's when I noticed a very large arrangement of red roses being held in the crook of the man's arm. I would have been less surprised if I was being served with a subpoena rather than getting flowers.

He handed over the vase after I handed back the clipboard and it seemed to be about as big as me.

"Thank you" I said as he walked back to his delivery van.

I was speechless as I set them down on the table and took in the sight. I had never received flowers before. I've seen my mother get flowers from various guys over the years and more recently from Phil, but it was usually for a reason like Valentine's Day or her birthday. I'm not sure what occasion called for these. Perhaps it was a "Thanks for screwing me" gesture, but I doubted it.

I opened the card half expecting it to have someone else's name on it and having this whole thing turn out to be a big mistake.

The card had pictures of flowers on it and big, fancy letters that said "Thinking of You" and it was signed Edward Cullen, but it didn't look like his writing. I sat next to him in bio last year and I stared at his notes more than I care to admit just to take in the fancy calligraphy that is his handwriting. I sighed thinking about all the time I had spent next to that gorgeous creature and him not even noticing that I was someone more than a transcriptionist of sorts for our lab assignments. I mean there was no doubt that he was like a Greek God, but the downfall to that was that he knew it. Being conceited is one of the biggest turn offs of all time. I mean it didn't stop me from staring at him, but it diminished my view of him to that of a shallow pretty boy and nothing more.

I knew this wasn't his handwriting and I thought maybe Jacob was playing a trick on me, but he wouldn't go to all the trouble, or spend such an exorbitant amount of money as this would've had to cost, just to trick me.

I had a crush on Edward since the first day I saw him and it was ridiculous, I even dreamt of him sometimes. I had crazy fantasies about him, none of which included getting my ass scraped up, my panties stolen, and deflowered underneath the bleachers. Although, I have to admit that would have been a good one. It was good, in a weird fucked up kind of way.

I mean I knew it was ridiculous for someone like me to be so infatuated with a guy that was as good looking as Edward Cullen, but I couldn't help it. Even as huge as his ego is and all of the manwhoring did nothing to stop me from salivating over him.

When he started talking to me after the game yesterday I thought it was the universe trying to play a huge trick on me like I would end up at the homecoming dance with pig's blood all over me or something.

When we were in the parking lot, I don't know what it was, something about the way he said it or the look on his face before he walked away and I found myself running after him like an idiot. Then, when we were walking under the bleachers it all had happened so fast. I turned around to walk back the way we came and ran right into him, the next thing I knew he was kissing me and I was kissing him. Being close to him tasting his mouth against mine was like air, I couldn't get enough, I couldn't get close enough.

Nothing else mattered in that moment I just wanted to get closer and closer until I couldn't go any further. Then he stopped and all I could think was that I did something wrong or maybe he had realized what a mistake he was making, but when he said that "he wanted nothing more" I knew there was no going back. Truth was he could've said "hop on babe" and I probably would've been like "ok, sure". Yeah, not my finest moment I admit that, but come on when Edward Cullen is standing in front of you with his pants hanging down it doesn't exactly make for a moment of clear thinking.

But, he wasn't anything like that at all. He wasn't rude or crass, he was actually really passionate and patient, not wanting to pressure me at all. It could've been a part of his 'master plan' but I don't think someone as popular with the ladies as him really needs a master plan. I'm not saying that it was completely genuine either because I'll admit to being hasty in my decision making, but that didn't make me a fool. I didn't forget for a second that this was his 'job' and he was good at what he did.

The joy of having a huge trust fund was that you didn't need a real job so Edward made it his occupation to 'bed' as many females as he could, or at least that was the way it seemed to me, and for some reason I still couldn't resist him.

I've never wanted someone so bad in my whole life, or at all really, as I did at that moment under the bleachers and I decided why not. I mean I was going to have to lose my virginity sometime so why not with the guy I've dreamt about a million times. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Actually, I still haven't brought myself to regret that decision. I don't think I ever could.

Jacob of course was the force behind the opinion of the "gotta lose the v-card sooner or later so might as well be sooner". Of course he wanted to assist with that endeavor, but that wasn't going to happen…and it didn't. Jacob was my best friend, but he liked the ladies way too much. He was almost as bad as Edward, but not really.

Jacob was down to Earth, so not full of himself, and knew the meaning of a hard day's work, and he was my best friend. Sure I had thought about dating him, he was definitely good looking - tall, muscular, tan skin, and long hair that he said made all the panties drop. Of course it never had an effect on my panties, but I would be lying if I said it didn't make my panties take it into serious consideration.

My attention was brought back to the flowers in front of me. They were beautiful, red roses and I gently ran my finger over the soft petals. There was a whole dozen there too, I even counted them. I've seen girls at school get a single rose or maybe three and rarely a half dozen (usually from their parents), but this was beautiful with baby's breath and a little, brown teddy bear was peeking up at me from amidst all of the flowers.

Again, I'm back to the reason for this extravagant gift. There's no holiday and I seriously doubt the "Thanks for the screw" reason because despite how big that trust fund undoubtedly is, his funds would be running pretty low if he sent every girl he screwed flowers like this. Maybe he felt bad or maybe he was trying to make what happened last night a regular thing. No matter how tempting that sounded, and the thought of being intimate with Edward repeatedly was one of the most tempting things I could think of, that would be like heroine for a junkie and I had no intention on becoming so dependent on someone so irresponsible.

I grabbed the large vase in my arms and carried them up to my room and set them on my desk. Charlie very rarely came into my room so I was fairly certain he wouldn't see them and if he did I guess I would think of something to say then. I hid the card in a drawer and thought maybe I would say they were from an anonymous 'secret admirer' which was way better than the truth or what I presumed to be the truth "Oh, they're a 'Thanks for letting me pop your cherry' gift".

I sat down on my bed and got lost in my thoughts while I stared at the flowers and then I decided to just find out for myself.

I looked in the phone book and lucky for me there was only one Cullen listed. I hesitated for awhile with the phone in my hand before I got up the nerve to finally dial the number. I heard a girl's voice on the other end say "Hello" and I almost hung up.

"Um Hello, is Edward there please?"

"Uh, he's busy. Can I take a message?"

"Oh no, that's ok I'll just talk to him later"

I hung up the phone and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach and scolded whatever tiny piece of myself that believed that Edward Cullen was anything less than an egotistical player.

I left the room before my anger got the best of me and I ended up throwing the flowers, vase and all, across the room.

I was walking back to the house from my stroll in the woods when I saws a familiar car parked in front of my house. My little walk had worked well at calming me down and after all I knew what I was getting myself into with Edward. I think there's a saying about shit like this having to do with a leopard and spots, yeah Edward is definitely the leopard.

I picked up my pace and all but ran into the house to be greeted by a smiling Jacob sitting on my couch eating a sandwich.

"Hey Jake" I said plopping down on the couch next to him and prying the remote out of his hand with all of my strength.

I changed it from whatever bikini clad bullshit he was watching to something we both would like. I probably should've been surprised to find someone eating my food and sitting on my couch like Goldilocks', and if I looked hard enough I would probably find something he broke too, but this is just how Jake is.

"So, what's up Jake?"

"Not much, I just wanted to come over and apologize again for last night."

"By eating my food and putting your feet on my coffee table?"

"No, I just got hungry waiting for you." He said sheepishly.

"Whatever Jake" I said while I continued to flip through the TV channels.

"Well, I'm sorry I can't buy you big, stupid flowers like some people." He said in a harsh tone.

My mouth dropped open and I turned a mean look towards Jacob. "You were in my room when I was gone!" by this time Jacob was back to looking at the television as he took another bite of his sandwich and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, yeah it's the best time to rob your underwear drawer." He said with his mouth still full and I promptly smacked him in the arm.

"What the hell does everyone want with my underwear!?"

"Well, they're cute and innocent oh and itty bitty just like you and - wait a minute who in the hell else wants your underwear!?"

"Everyone" I replied in a serious tone and then stole a bite from his sandwich that he was still holding in his hands.

"Everyone like Edward Cullen?"

I started choking on the food in my mouth and Jacob started smacking my back until I finally swallowed and could breathe again.

"So, I'll take that as a yes" he said smugly as he swiped the remote back.

**EPOV**

"Hey little brother" I looked up to see Alice standing at my door.

I had been laying in my bed thinking about whether or not Bella had gotten the flowers yet. I was tempted to call the florist to ask them, but that wouldn't do much I really wanted to hear it from her. I guess I should have put my number on the card and then she could've called me directly, but I had felt weird talking to that florist girl on the phone. After all if you're sending someone a dozen roses shouldn't they probably already know your phone number?

"You do realize I'm like two feet taller than you right?"

"Mere details little bro"

"I didn't even know you were back."

"Yeah, well Jasper and I decided to hang out here for awhile and I waited to see if you were going to stop moping, but I got sick of waiting."

I shrugged my shoulders and went back to staring off into space, but I was really picturing the brown eyes I had seen in my dreams. Alice turned to walk out, but then paused.

"Oh, a girl called for you, but I knew you were in one of your moods. She didn't want to leave a message so I guess it wasn't that important." I almost jumped out of my bed.

"Did she tell you her name?!" I pretty much screamed at her.

"No Edward, geez I'm not your fucking secretary and since when do you give a shit about girls calling especially ones that don't even have your cell number? I just assumed it was one of the crazy freshman that call periodically." She crossed her arms and glared at me.

"You're right Alice, I'm sorry." I said in a weak and exasperated tone. "Hey, I'll be down in a minute and I'll hang out with you and Jasper." That made her smile come back. Jasper and I were good friends, but once he and Alice started dating we hung out less and less.

"Good, because he wants to play video games with someone who actually gives a shit about blowing stuff up and winning and you know I don't." she gave me a smile and walked out the door.

I grabbed the phonebook as soon as the door clicked behind her and started flipping wildly through the 'S' section until I finally found the number I circled earlier.

I grabbed my cell phone and called her quickly before I had a chance to think better of it. Any other time I wouldn't have doubted Alice's assumption that it was some crazed freshman calling the house phone, but not today. I had to know if it was her and if it wasn't' I didn't care if I looked like an ass or whatever I mean if she was that against me then I already looked like a big ass when I sent her all of those flowers.

It rang three times before someone picked up and I discovered I was actually holding my breath.

"Hello" a guy's voice said. It wasn't a man's voice meaning it definitely wasn't Chief Swan's voice. I nearly threw my phone across the room I was so pissed. I couldn't really explain why but for some reason I just assumed she would answer the phone and everything would be all fucking peachy or some shit.

"Hey, is Bella there?"

"No, I don't know where the hell she went, but I can tell her you called."

"Sure, this is Edward Cullen."

"Edward Cullen? Oh yeah, the football guy from last night. Sure I'll let her know, bye."

The phone clicked and I realized that was Jacob the jackass from last night. I had no idea what the fuck that douche was doing in her house and answering the phone when she was nowhere to be found. I wanted to just drive over there right now, but what good would that do? Probably none. I continued to lay on my bed not even feeling like going downstairs with Alice and Jasper thinking that the closer to the front door I got the harder it would be to not leave and go over there. Did I already say this girl is going to be the fucking death of me?

**A/N - If you don't understand the Carrie reference please don't tell me, it will hurt my heart.**

**Seriously though I hope you're still digging this crazy story. And just in case you're wondering, no Jacob does not tell Bella that Edward called (bad dog…j/k).**

**OK, so this is the third chapter in 24 hrs. and I have lots of stuff to do back in the real world (work, homework, girl scout leader stuff, feeding my kids periodically) so give me a little time to finish chapter 4, but I promise it'll still be quick!**

**Reviews make me type faster I swear on a stack of Edwards (nice visual, huh?).**


	4. Chapter 4 The Hello and Goodbye

**Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer = Everything / Summer = Nothing**

**A/N- I'm still amazed at all the attention this story is already getting. I love all the readers and your reviews make my day!**

**Lulu is always there for the trivial crap that bothers me, love you and a big hug to auroraluna1 for pimpin' out this story!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4**

**The Hello and Goodbye**

**EPOV**

This had been a long fucking weekend. I hardly did shit, not that Tanya and a few other girls didn't try calling me a million fucking times. The only girl I did want to talk to never fucking called me back. I decided that I had swallowed my pride enough and that if she wanted to talk to me then she could return my fucking call.

Sunday wasn't too bad I hung out with Jasper for awhile after Alice suddenly realized she had some non-existent obligation. I knew she just did it so I would get my ass out of my room and honestly I was grateful to her for it. Everyone said we had a special bond between us because we were twins, but we knew the truth, and Alice was intuitive like that with everyone and not even every person, but everything like the fucking weather and lottery numbers, yeah ask me why we've never put that one to good use.

I was standing in front of my locker knowing I would have to take off my sunglasses, but not wanting to because I had big fucking bags under my eyes from not being able sleep and even when I did I still saw her face. Finally I threw them in and grabbed my books. I turned to shut my locker door and I had the craziest thought rush into my head that wouldn't it be cool if I had a picture of Bella to put there. No, I don't think Adriana Lima would appreciate sharing my locker door and why would having a picture of someone who wouldn't even talk to me be cool? Oh, that's right I have no fucking idea because I've gone mentally insane.

I slammed my locker door a little harder than necessary and then I froze dead in my tracks.

"Edward! Edward! Hey, I just wanted to thank you for the flowers they're beautiful!"

She practically ran up to me and then wrapped her little arms around me and buried her head into my chest. I looked down to make sure I wasn't seeing things in my sleep deprived state or being accosted by some other brunette and I wasn't. I could smell the strawberries and I got an involuntary smile on my face and instantly wrapped my arms around her. All my frustrations from the weekend melted away in that moment and I didn't even care to try to make sense of it.

"Is he gone?" she whispered.

She looked up to meet my gaze and I looked down at her confused.

"Mike. Is he gone? He's been following me around and the way he looks at me creeps me out." Her voice was still hushed and she let her arms fall to her side. I hesitated for a moment, but then reluctantly let mine fall also.

"Yeah, I don't see him" I replied trying not to sound dejected and probably failing.

"Good and hey I'm sorry for the early morning PDA, but thanks for saving me and thanks for the flowers." and then she turned and walked away. Why am I not surprised?

"Hey, wait I'll walk with you" I said

"No, that's ok I wouldn't want you to have to go out of your way or anything." She looked up at me questioningly so I tried to reassure her that it was no problem.

"Really, it's fine. I want to."

"Awesome, but I'm going to go to the bathroom and talk to my friend over there so maybe next time" she gave my arm a couple of patronizing pats and then casually strode away. Whatever.

I saw Jasper and talked to him until right before the bell was getting ready to ring and then slipped into class, but what I saw made my heart drop.

Right behind my seat was Bella sitting there reading a book. She looked up briefly to cock her eyebrow and give me a smirk, but then went back to reading her book. She had sat behind me for weeks now and I never knew it.

I sat down in my chair sideways and leaned my arm against the table where Bella was sitting, but she never even flinched.

"Hey, what book are you reading?"

"Can't you read the cover? Or are you unobservant with everything?"

"Touché"

I sat there for awhile waiting for the teacher who was apparently running late, but she never looked up at me. I did notice Tanya across the room and it looked like her jaw was about as far down as her tits.

"Bella, did you mean what you said about the flowers or was that a part of the show?" I know I sounded angry and hurt like a little baby, but I didn't give a fuck.

She laid the book down on the table, keeping it open to the page she was reading, and let out a quiet sigh. She looked up at me and I was trying so hard to read her feelings in her eyes but I think my own confusion made it impossible.

"I loved the flowers, but I have no idea why you sent them." she said quietly.

"I really don't either." I whispered.

"Then why did you do it?"

"That's just it I don't know why. I'm not saying I regret it because I don't, I guess I just wanted to do something nice for you. I don't' know." Her brow furrowed and she looked like she was thinking about something and I would've given anything to know what.

"I called you, but a girl answered the phone."

"Yeah, I called you, but a boy answered the phone." Her mouth opened slightly and then she looked really pissed.

"I didn't know." she said almost sadly.

"You know I could give you my cell number and then you could just call me whenever you want." She had a look of horror come over her face like I just asked her to do a rusty trombone or something.

"Why would I want your number?"

"Well, I don't know, this might sound crazy, but to call me." I said it really sarcastically, but I didn't give a shit.

"Duh, but why the hell would I want to call you?"

"I don't know. So we could swap recipes or gossip or some shit. Why does it matter? Why do you have to make things so complicated?!" I mean fuck why can't this girl just want to talk to me for a few seconds would that really be so fucking hard?

"Right, what was I thinking sitting here reading my book how inconsiderate of me?!"

I was feeling pretty lucky that we were in the back and in the corner where there weren't really any people around us, but then our luck ran out.

"Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan would it be too much to ask if we start class now?"

"Mr. Smith would it be too much to ask of _you _to get here on time?"

"Go to the office!"

I gathered my stuff up and started walking out when he started yelling again.

"You too, Ms. Swan." I heard her gasp and I was instantly pissed.

"She didn't even do anything!"

"Go!" he pointed towards the door and I angrily walked out not even looking at the douche because I knew I'd want to punch him in the face.

I stood there against the wall for a moment until Bella came out with her arms full of her stuff and sniffling.

"Are you crying?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, kind of. Hell, I don't know, but it's just the principal's office it's not like we got sent to the gallows." she giggled a little, but didn't look any less scared. "Haven't you ever been to the principal's office before?"

"No, not for anything bad." She said meekly.

"Don't worry it'll be fine." I patted her on the back and then stopped walking and she instantly stopped with me which for some reason I really liked I guess because for once she wasn't walking away from me. "Why don't you go in the bathroom and get cleaned up and I'll wait here for you."

"Ok" she said quietly.

She only took a minute and came out looking somewhat better, but then she tripped, over what I can only guess to have been her own feet, and dropped her books all over the floor. I was afraid that she would start crying again or something so I swooped down to pick them up, but she was already trying to gather them. My hand brushed against hers and she looked up so that we were staring in each other's eyes and I could see her cheeks blush a dark shade of pink.

I dropped the book that was in my hand and cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her. I was afraid after her recent behavior that she might just smack me across the face this time, but she didn't. Her hands were in my hair again and our lips were moving frantically like there could never be enough, that there would always need to be more.

She broke away from me when we heard footsteps coming down the hallway. If it hadn't been for her I would've just kept kissing her, I didn't give a fuck who was walking down the hallway. It turned out to just be some kid that was going to the restroom, but we finished picking up the books and then started walking to the office again.

"You know you really need to quit doing that."

"I don't think I can" I said in almost a whisper, like if I could I would, but why would I ever want to?

"I know" she whispered back.

We got to the office and before we walked in I kissed her on the head and told her to sit down and wait for me. I went into the principal's office first wanting to clear some stuff up before Bella went in there and started crying all over the place when the large, stern-faced principal asked her what her name was or something.

***

Tuesday morning I found myself getting to first hour way earlier than usual. Just so I could see Bella.

I hadn't seen her since yesterday in the office. She had sat and waited in front of the secretary's desk just like I asked her to and when she saw the principal standing in his doorway with me standing behind him, with a big smile on my face, her eyes got really big and she looked as terrified as ever.

"Ms. Swan you may go back to class. I apologize for the mix up."

She sat there confused for a second looking between him and I, but then I gave her a thumbs up, outside of the view of the principal of course, and she nodded and then bolted out of the office.

It turned out that I had several classes with Bella. All of my college prep classes actually, but in those she steered clear of me and I let her because after the panic attack she nearly had in the office I couldn't say that I really blamed her.

Coincidentally, we had a substitute today or rather not so much a coincidence as it is rather highly frowned upon to leave children, even if they are seniors or maybe it's _especially _if they're seniors, unattended because you're running late…again.

The board in the classroom said that we were to work on our reports which just meant to fuck off, but make it look like we were doing actual school stuff and not make problems for the sub.

Bella walked into the classroom and I felt a huge smile spread across my face.

"Where's Mr. Smith?" she whispered. I shrugged my shoulders, but I had a conspicuous look on my face.

"Oh my God you got him fired!?"

"No, no, but I fucking wish. That guy is a prick, but alas we'll have to settle with a week suspension."

"With or without pay?" She squinted her eyes at me.

"Without" I nodded with a satisfied smile on my face.

"Nice" she nodded back.

Of course the principal didn't come out and tell me any of this shit, but I had my ways of knowing.

She took out her books and notes and started writing down things that she had highlighted. I'm pretty sure that she was the only one in the whole classroom that was actually working on her project.

"Hey, we can go to the library and talk."

"You're not supposed to talk in the library" she said completely serious without even looking up from her notebook page.

"Fine. We can sit in the commons or on the floor outside the bathroom whatever, let's just get out of here and talk." I must've sounded desperate because I sure as hell felt desperate. Her brow furrowed like it always did when she was thinking things I would kill to hear.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." She said solemnly.

"Yeah, or maybe it's a great fucking idea."

"I doubt it." What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

"Christ Bella, I like you ok. I'd like to talk to you, hell I'd like to take you on a fucking date and I'd really like to know why you try so hard to ignore me." I'm not sure exactly what I just said, but I think it went something like 'I want to wear matching sweaters with you and watch chick flicks while we pet kittens' or some shit, but I didn't care. Bella finally tore her eyes away from her school work and was looking at me with that frightened look again.

"Go to the bathroom."

"What?" I had anticipated a variety of responses, but that wasn't really one of them.

"Go to the bathroom." She repeated in an agitated tone.

"What right here?" I said equally as agitated while I made a motion with my hands.

"If you want, but you'll know where I'll be." She said it perfectly calm and then got out of her seat.

She went up to the teacher with her stuff in her hands and after making a gesture towards her library book she casually strolled out of the room.

I waited and waited for what felt like an hour, but I'm pretty sure it was a total of 6 seconds. I ended up waiting what I deemed an appropriate 2 ½ minutes before I asked if I could go to the computer lab. The teacher nodded never even giving it a second thought and I think waiting the almost three minutes was ridiculous as we probably could've come up here hand in hand and he wouldn't have given a shit.

I raced to the bathrooms where we had kissed yesterday. At first I started to panic because I didn't see her, but then she walked around the corner and I felt a rush of relief. Yeah, I'm so beyond worrying about the pussy I'm turning into.

"Hey, let's go over here" I said while grabbing her hand. She followed, but tensed up when stopped at the end of the hallway and started to open a door.

"Was all that shit you said your attempt to get me into the janitor's closet?"

"What? No Bella, fuck and this isn't even the janitor's closet. It's the weight lifting room which will be empty all morning, but if you want to go back and sit in front of the toilets we can."

"No, this is fine." She said quietly and then sat on a weight bench. I went and sat next to her taking her hand back into mine.

"So, we could go to the movies on Friday. I can pick you up early and we can get dinner first." I mean that is what people do on dates right? I don't think I've ever been on a date before, not a real one any way. Just for the record going to the drive in is not the equivalent to dinner and a movie, I'm just saying.

"No" she said it so quietly I thought maybe I was hearing things.

"What?"

"I can't go out with you Edward. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? What do you mean you're fucking sorry?"

"I mean I have feelings of sorrow and regret in here for not being able to go out with you" she made a swirling motion with her hand around her heart when she said here and then pointed at me when she said you. I was really reaching my fucking boiling point. I mean fuck all I wanted to do was buy her a salad, or whatever the fuck chicks order on dates, and watch a fucking movie with her how hard could that possibly be?

"Fuck Bella I know what the fuck sorry means! What I don't know is why the fuck you won't go out with me I mean hell you fucked me under the bleachers but I can't take you to a fucking movie! How fucking backwards and fucked up is that!?

"That's why Edward. That right there is why!" she pointed her finger angrily at me and I could see tears running down her cheeks.

"What is? I shouldn't want to take you out? You know you might be fucking right because when we kiss it's fucking magic, but when I try to talk to you it's like you're the most unsocial person I've ever fucking met."

"Really Edward when we kiss or when we _fuck_? Because that's the real reason behind all this right? I don't want to be your plaything that you discard when you've outgrown it and although I'd really like to talk and laugh with you and kiss your sexy fucking face I'm not going to let you break my heart."

"But-"

"No buts, your track record speaks for itself and if I told myself that I was different that _this_ was different I would be a liar and a fool, neither of which I care to be."

"Bella, it could be different" I whispered.

"Really? Different how? I would wear your class ring and letterman jacket and we would walk around holding hands and eat lunch together and oh we could even apply to the same colleges." she poked my chest at the end making it sound like she genuinely thought it was a good idea, but her voice was dripping with sarcasm. It sounded incredibly cheesy and uncomfortable when she put it like that and I know my face blanched.

"Exactly Edward, nothing is different because you're not different. Friday night was enough and it was great just let me keep it like that please don't ruin it, don't make me regret it…don't break my heart." She was begging even her eyes were pleading with me as a few more tears escaped and I couldn't deny her, I don't think I could ever deny her anything she asked for.

It was hard to take everything in that she had said, but she said it was great and that she didn't want to regret it. Maybe I could take solace in that, maybe.

She was still sitting next to me, unbelievably close to me and I brushed my face against her hair moving it slightly so her ear was exposed and I felt the softness against my cheek and took in the sweet smell.

"Did you really think it was great?" I whispered and I heard her breath hitch and she nodded. "You're so special, Bella. I would change for you…I would try, but not if it would hurt you." she nodded again, slowly, but didn't speak. "Oh, Bella" I whispered in her ear and I could see her shiver and then I ran my lips along her jaw line. "I have to kiss you one more time" I whispered against her skin. She could've told me to stop, but I knew she wouldn't.

One kiss quickly turned it to a series of frenzied kisses and I couldn't have stopped at that moment even if I had wanted to, the feeling of being drawn to her was too strong. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I didn't want to think about losing this feeling. So, I didn't think at all I let my hunger to be closer to her take over.

I pulled her shirt over her head and she instantly raised her arms allowing me to quickly pull it off and cast it to the side. As soon as her shirt was off she threw her leg over me and perched herself on my lap so she was straddling me on the bench and our mouths instantly reconnected. I felt her hands running through my hair sending tingles all through my scalp.

I undid her bra and threw it to the vicinity where I thought the shirt would be. I turned picking her up and laying her on her back on the bench. I hovered above her taking in the sight of her porcelain skin. We had never bothered to turn on the lights, but the sun filtered in through the blinds casting scattered rays of sunshine throughout the room.

Her hands were firmly gripping my shoulders as I ran my fingertips along her side and eventually wandering off to make swirling motions around her breasts and belly button which I paid special attention to knowing that I had longed for this very image to be forever burned into my memory.

I undid her jeans and pulled them off which she lifted slightly to help me do. Bella was in front of me almost completely naked and it was a sight that I couldn't believe I could've ever went without seeing. Her underwear was still bikinis but they were silky and dark blue it was like a shimmering oasis amidst a desert of pale skin.

I leaned down and returned my lips to hers and it felt as if they had been apart a million years instead of just a minute. I worked my way to her neck where I kissed and gently bit her soft skin while my hands caressed her perfect breasts. My kisses trailed down until I reached my destination and I let my tongue swirl around her nipple, but not touching it. I blew gently on it while I was still rubbing the other one in my hand and watched as her nipple got hard before I took it into my mouth. She made the most erotic little moans I've ever heard in my entire life and she rubbed repeatedly against my hard dick until I was afraid that I was going to cum in my pants.

I took off my shirt and my pants only stopping to struggle briefly with my shoes. I pulled of her panties before I leaned back over letting my cock rest against her wetness. I took her other nipple in my mouth letting my tongue flick at it while I reached down and positioned myself at her opening.

I pushed in slowly and gently as she wrapped her legs around me. Once I was all the way inside of her I rested my cheek on hers as I moved in and out. She made quiet little moans right next to me ear.

"Are you okay?"

"Better than okay." she breathed into my ear.

I thought I heard something else that sounded like 'perfect' and I would have to agree.

The bell had rang, but we didn't care we were now up and getting dressed slowly knowing that the impending departure was looming.

She had her back to me and was standing there in her bra and underwear. I couldn't resist touching her again and I let my finger trail down her back and she shivered slightly as goose bumps covered her pale skin.

"Edward?" she asked quietly.

"Yes" '_Please say this isn't it, please say you've changed your mind' _I silently prayed.

"Did um…did you use a condom?"

"Shit Bella, I'm sorry I mean I thought you were on the pill or something. Fuck I should've asked. Why didn't I ask?" I was running my hands through my hair nervously.

"No, I am I just didn't know about you know other protection."

"Bella, I'm so sorry, but I am clean I don't have any fucking diseases or anything and despite what you may think I'm not as 'active' as you may think and I knew that I didn't have to worry about you so when you didn't say anything I just assumed, but I shouldn't have." I looked down at the ground because I felt like an ass yet again.

"You knew?"

"Sure, your innocence radiates off of you." I leaned closer to kiss her neck and whispered in her ear "Plus you're so fucking tight. Oh God Bella you felt so fucking good." She shuddered a little before bending down and getting her pants. I had done my best not to be too dirty with her, but she always seemed so self conscious that I didn't want her to feel like she wasn't fucking amazing just because she didn't have any experience. She was so fucking sexy and passionate experience really didn't matter.

I sat down on the bench; I would never look at that bench the same ever again, and started to put my shoes back on. She leaned down in front of me and kissed me, one last kiss, and it was sad and final. I grabbed her hand and when she broke the kiss I whispered "Goodbye" she stepped backwards towards the door, but didn't turn around and didn't let go of my hand until both of our arms were stretched as far as they would go and our fingers slipped away. She turned around and placed her hand on the doorknob, but she stopped and looked down and that's when I started my silent prayer again.

"Goodbye Edward" she choked out and then she slipped out of the door shutting it quickly behind her with a deafening click.

Out the door went Bella, my heart, my fucking life…I was right…the fucking death of me.

**A/N - **

**I hope everyone enjoyed their lemony surprise! I've never wrote lemons before this story so there you have it and I know I was rather vague last time, but I had my reasons and I hope this made up for it.**

**I know Edward drops a lot of f-bombs this chapter, but he's so upset inside (awww).**

**Adriana Lima = Victoria's Secret model**

**Rusty Trombone = nasty sexual act (I know this because I have crude guy friends if you want to know more feel free to google)**

**Unsocial = opposite of social**

**Antisocial = Unabomber **

**Oh, and I don't know why I enjoy making fun of Tanya's tits so much, but I do so I'm going to continue…I mean Edward is going to continue.**

**For the record I want everyone to note that Edward tried here, he really did so don't be too hard on him he has some not so admirable moments ahead.**

**I know this is getting ridiculously long, but when Bella says she's on the pill she's not lying, she just started them so it's not effective yet, but she does not realize that.**

**Any other questions or anything just let me know!**

**Reviews are better than boffing Edward on a weight lifting bench…yeah I know, but review anyway :)**


	5. Chapter 5 The Desolation

**Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer = Everything / Summer = Nothing**

**A/N-**

**I love all of you guys and all of the adds and reviews make me so happy (I'm officially addicted to them)!**

**I thought this was a good question so I'll share for everyone. I do have this story planned out as far as major events, some random crap that jumps into my head when I should probably be doing something else (like working or driving), and the end, but if you have questions or suggestions I'd be happy to hear them.**

**I just thought I would bring this up because I know we all want to shake Bella and yell at her "Edward will change for you stupid!", but it's not just that. She does doubt that he'll change but she also doubts that he really wants to, there's several reasons for that (low self-esteem), but I just thought I'd throw that out there.**

**According to google the search for 'rusty trombone' increased over 500% since I posted the last chapter (I made that up), but yeah that shit is gross.**

**Also, there's a conspiracy where wacky shit happens to my chapters after I post (underlines and everything being in bold) so if this chapter comes out in fucking Arabic or some shit I won't be surprised.**

**Okay, I'll shut up now…**

**Chapter 5**

**The Desolation**

**EPOV**

"Just take the fucking bagel Edward."

I stood there in the kitchen half awake, or should I say half sober or maybe half drunk if I wanted to be an optimist, while Alice waved some fucking bread in my face. I felt like hell and I knew I looked like it too. My face was stubbly because I hadn't put the effort into shaving in a few days or combing my hair for that matter, but at least it was clean, it didn't look clean but it was. I had on a ratty pair of jeans that although they looked like they had been drug behind a truck for several miles, I'm sure I still paid a pretty penny for them, with whatever random t-shirt I grabbed out of my closet and a flannel because I was cold, but not cold enough for a hoodie.

"Fine, shit I'll take the fucking bagel now get out of my face." I snatched it out of her hands, but just held it because I had no intention of eating it.

"Get out of your face!? I'm getting really sick of all your teen angst bullshit and you know what? 1995 called and wants their flannel back!"

"Yeah Alice, well 1983 called and wants all those fucking care bears in your room back!"

She huffed and left the kitchen, but not before turning around and flipping me off.

If I was more coherent I might be concerned as to where she was going, like my closet to pick something that she would deem 'acceptable to be seen in public in', but I didn't really care. I threw the bagel away and returned to my real breakfast a big glass of orange juice or I guess technically it was a screwdriver.

Alice was driving to school today and to celebrate that I took another big drink of my second, or maybe it was my third, screwdriver of the day which I had in a nice portable cup that gave Esme the impression it was coffee.

Alice pulled up at the gas station and gave me a quizzical look.

"Alice I'm not pumping your gas this early in the fucking morning."

"Yeah right, like I need you to pump my gas. If Jasper's not with me then Chucky in there will come out and pump it." Only Alice could get full service at a self serve station.

"Go in and get some gum or something so you don't walk around smelling like a distillery all day. Seriously, can you please just go a week without getting sent to the damn principal's office?"

"Hey, I was vindicated last time." I said smugly, but it made me think of Bella so I promptly took a long swig of my drink.

"Great, your name was cleared OJ, now go get some fucking breath mints."

"Yeah, but I actually _was_ innocent." I sneered at her while I took another drink before reluctantly putting it into the cup holder and giving her a dirty look.

I went inside and looked at the selection of various candy, gum, and mints when my eyes landed on a bag of jolly ranchers. I bought the biggest bag and went back to the car. Alice quickly sped off while eyeing my purchase that was neither gum or breath mints, but she didn't say anything about it until I started plucking various colors out of the bag and flinging them into the back seat. Her eyes following the little green, purple, blue and whatever the fucking else colors that were flying past her.

I could see her struggling very hard not to reach over and smack my head and she just growled "You are riding home with Jasper." and then swung into a parking spot and left me sitting there with my empty cup and half empty bag of candy.

I double checked to make sure my cup was empty and then popped a strawberry jolly rancher in my mouth as I exited the car. I thought I could kill two birds with one stone, that I could have the candy taste in my mouth like when I kissed Bella and the strawberry smell of her hair.

It didn't work so well, especially when she walked into class and sat down. She didn't sit behind me anymore. She told Mr. Smith she was having problems seeing the board and he moved her to the front row no questions asked.

So now I was doodling on my notebook, muttering to myself about how stupid the saying 'killing two birds with one stone' is, and trying my hardest not to stare at the back of her damn head.

But, honestly why would it be necessary to kill two birds with one stone? Is there an abundance of birds and a shortage of stones?

I left class not hearing one word that the teacher had said, but I was probably more qualified to teach that class than he was so it didn't matter. I had even considered dropping all of my college prep classes just so I could be away from her, but I couldn't. Well, for one my father would've had a fit and said something like "What backyard, barn school do you think will accept you if Harvard doesn't take you, Yale?!" and I really didn't want to have that conversation again, but even if he didn't care I know I wouldn't have went through with it because I was a masochist that got joy from staring at the back of some girl's head who wouldn't even talk to me. I had been reduced to staring at her hoping she'd do something exciting like put her hair in a ponytail, but it wasn't just _some_ girl it was Bella and she had the power to make the highlight of my fucking day be watching her twirl her hand around and tug on her hair. Note to self - inquire about prescription from my father.

The bell rang and I walked, or rather staggered, to my locker. I grabbed my books and another jolly rancher, because it was better than nothing, and then I moved back one of the Adriana Lima pictures from the locker door to stare at my new picture of Bella that I put up the day after 'weight bench day'. Thank you myspace print option. The picture was of her sitting in the grass with Angela Weber, but I cut it in half so all I had was Bella. Actually, it was on Angela's myspace page where I found it under the album name 'my friends'. I had been searching for way longer than I'd like to admit and when I finally found something I was so happy I could've drove to Angela's house and fucking kissed her. Lucky for both of us I had no idea where she lived.

I shook my head at myself. Note to self number 2 - bring bigger cup of booze tomorrow.

I was still staring at the picture when I let my head fall and hit the locker door with a thud. I was still holding onto the side with my hand so at least it didn't go flying into the person standing behind it at their locker.

"Edward?"

"Go away Alice."

"Um it's not Alice" Shit. I reached up and smoothed back the picture that covered Bella's picture before lifting my head and turning around.

"Are you okay?" She asked sounding both skeptical and concerned.

"Yeah, I'm great. What do you want?" I asked abrasively.

"Oh I um…" her eyes darted around and she looked flustered. Fucking hell, if she didn't want to talk to me and shit why the fuck was she standing here. I mean yeah I was teasing myself like a motherfucker with the picture and the candy and whatnot, but I chose that I didn't choose for her to stand here looking all hot and flustered with her blushed cheeks and her strawberry smellin' hair.

"Christ Bella, spit it out so I can get to fucking class."

"Here" she said quietly as her hand shot out with a piece of paper. What was she writing me fucking notes now? I looked at it confused, but then realized that it was the assignment from last class, I never picked it up and she was just bringing it to me. "I'm sorry I bothered you, but the teacher told me to give that to you." She squeaked out and I'm pretty sure she was crying. She scurried down the hall and I shut my locker quickly to follow her, but she was nowhere to be seen. I assume that she went into the girl's bathroom especially since that would be the one place where I couldn't go. Well it's the one place I _shouldn't_ go, but it wasn't like I couldn't physically walk in, I'm pretty sure there wasn't a penis detector at the door.

I was getting ready to march right into the girl's bathroom when I heard a little voice behind me.

"It looks like an animal has died on your head."

"Fuck off"

"Sorry, little bubby not today."

Alice was the smallest person I know, but she had a power over me that had nothing to do with physicality. Alice and I have always been close, well ever since we laid eyes on each other we were told, and Alice was always the dominant one of the two of us, but I admit that's always been for the best since she always had the better judgment even without her uncanny intuition. She looped her arm in mine and led me away. I listened because I was smart. The last time I didn't listen to her I was 4 and climbed the tree in our front yard after she cried and begged me not to. I ran off from her, climbed the tree, and fell seven feet to the ground breaking my arm in three places. Yep, there's no betting against Alice even for a gambler such as myself.

I went to class and willed the rest of this God forsaken Friday to just end already.

***

Friday's game was an away game which was good and bad. I was glad because I didn't have to look at the fucking bleachers that I had sex with Bella under and I was sad because she wasn't there not that it really would've mattered if she had been there.

Saturday the whole family including Jasper went up to Seattle for the rest of the weekend to hang out with my brother Emmett and his girlfriend Rose, who happens to be Jasper's sister. It wasn't party central like it usually is when we go up sans the parental units, but I was still able to get drunk ass wasted the rest of the weekend so that was great for me.

The week went on like a slow ride to hell on a porcupine, but things started to look up on Wednesday.

I was in the library looking up a book I needed to check out for my World Civilization class. After I found out where the book was supposed to be I had to have the librarian tell me exactly where that was because I didn't have a clue. I made my way over to the last bookcase in the far corner of the library. I was squinting to see the numbers and letters and whatever else Dewey Decimal bullshit was on there when I heard a low humming sound. It made me feel like the tune was actually vibrating on my skin.

I turned around to see Bella sitting in the corner on the fucking floor with her bag next to her, a book in her lap, and a fucking pencil stuck behind her ear for a reason I can't even imagine because she has a whole big ass bag where she could've put it or on the fucking book, but it did look hot as fuck behind her ear. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and I could see the pale skin of her neck right where I had my mouth the last time we…we're together. Just seeing the soft skin exposed like that made me want to bite it and I had to stop thinking about it so I wasn't walking around the library with a big hard on.

"Bella what are you doing?" I asked in a way that clearly showed my confusion.

"I'm studying" she said in a sing song tone and even thought she didn't look at me she still sounded friendly.

"and humming?" she nodded "The Battle Hymn of the Republic?" Perhaps I had went truly mad and was merely staring at an empty corner in the library and having a full out hallucination, but then she spoke again and her soft voice was like music to my ears.

"It sure is. It puts me in the right frame of mind for Civil War reading" she said completely serious and for some reason I thought it was hilarious.

She looked up at me with a hurt look on her face. I didn't think about if I should just that I wanted to and I sat down right next to her. How on Earth did I stay away from her the past year without seeing what I see now, without being drawn to her very presence?

"Bella that's the cutest fucking shit ever." she giggled and went back to humming. Her face looked as tired as mine, but she did a better job of at least brushing her hair which I actually was doing this week because Alice threatened to shave my head and I fully believed her. I leaned my head against the wall and I could smell the strawberry scent coming off her hair, it was nothing like the strawberry candy in my mouth. It clacked against my teeth as I hummed along with her.

"You really like candy don't you?"

"More than you could ever believe." I said looking at her mouth as her tongue came out and licked her bottom lip as if on purpose to tease me. "Do you want a piece?"

"Sure" I dug the stash out of my pocket and held out my hand. "They're all strawberry." she said as she took one and delicately unpeeled the wrapper and put it in her mouth.

"Yeah , it's my favorite" I said as I watched her eat the candy like it was the most erotic thing I've ever seen…and it very well may have been.

"Oh, I like strawberry too, but grape is my favorite." I could've said 'Yeah, well there's a whole bunch of them in Alice's back seat', but I just nodded.

"So Edward, I'm really sorry about the other day I didn't mean -"

"Fuck Bella, I was a dick and _you're_ apologizing? I'm the one that's sorry I didn't feel good that day and I took it out on you when I shouldn't."

"Yeah, well being drunk will do that to you" She gave me her all knowing smirk and looked back down to her book. She was far too perceptive and there was really no use in arguing with her. My head was still against the wall and I was still staring at her, but I didn't care. I let out a small sigh as she took the pencil out from behind her ear and twirled it around her fingers.

"Did you know that Judy Garland sang the Battle Hymn of the Republic in honor of JFK after his death?"

"No Bella, I can't say that I did." I said smiling at her. If it were anyone else saying this shit to me I probably would've said 'why the fuck would I know that?' or 'yeah, that'll be real handy if I go on Jeopardy' but it was just fascinating when it came out of Bella's perfect, little mouth.

She told me various other trivial facts that were actually interesting and then when I told her I was oblivious to whatever cockamamie system they use to shelve their books in this library she swiped the paper out of my hand that had the book information on it and no lie she had the book and was standing back in front of me in two seconds flat.

The bell rang and I thanked her and reluctantly left the library and walked to my locker humming the Battle Hymn of the fucking Republic the whole way.

I left school that day feeling really good like progress had been made and that things were changing and that they could continue to change. I thought maybe Bella and I could continue like this, developing a friendship and then it could be more…even though it's always been more. I really didn't care if she wanted to wear my stupid jacket, she could have the motherfucker and if she wanted to go to the same college as me I didn't care about that either, fuck I'd probably even go to Yale for her.

Thursday morning I drove to school so my drinking was done in the car before I went in. I had a hoodie on and just regular jeans since I'm pretty sure Alice stole my awesome ratty jeans and probably set them ablaze. She had said something about them looking like they were attacked by moths and driven over by a bus and then they mysteriously disappeared. I don't have to be a psychic to know what happened there.

I had my hood up so I could inconspicuously listen to my ipod which I was. I had to take my hood off during class, but besides that I used the loud music to drown out thoughts of Bella. I tried to walk past her or catch her attention in class, but she continued to ignore me. By fifth period, the last class we have together, I sat in the back in that class where I could still listen to music and not get caught. I also had a clear view of Bella's face and it didn't look like she was listening to the teacher either. I watched her doodle in her notebook. I just stared at her as her pen made lazy circles, her hand gently swirling as her head was leaning on her other hand as she looked down at the scribbling. It made her hair rest on her cheek perfectly framing her beautiful face. Once in awhile her tongue would lick her lip or she would bite her lip while concentrating and I just continued to sit there and stare. I changed the song to something more appropriate and put it on repeat.

~*~

_Why can't I get just one kiss?  
Why can't I get just one kiss?  
Believe me there's some things that I wouldn't miss  
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss!_

Why can't I get just one screw?  
Why can't I get just one screw?  
Believe me I know what to do!  
But something won't let me make love to you.

Why can't I get just one fuck?  
Why can't I get just one fuck?  
I guess it's got something to do with luck!  
But I waited my whole life for just one...

_~*~_

I wanted to beat my fucking head on the desk. The bell finally rang and on my way to my locker I passed Bella, but she still wouldn't even look at me. I really thought we had made progress and that at least she would say "hi" or some shit and not act like I'm not even here.

I threw my ipod in my backpack realizing that song or any other fucking song was only adding to my frustration.

Friday was almost identical to Thursday except different booze and a different song.

By the time school let out for the weekend I was literally at my wit's end. I just needed to forget Bella, just give up, so I decided I would give up. I would give up trying to stay away from her, trying to pretend that I didn't give a fuck. I had to try one more time because I knew she felt the same way. I could see it in her eyes, feel it on her body when I touched her, and I could hear it in her voice every time she spoke to me. I had to talk to her this weekend; I had to try one more time.

Friday night after the football game, which went by in a blur, Alice and I went to pick up a couple of pizzas at the local pizza place. When I got to the front door I saw something that made me feel like my heart was ripped out and thrown back in my face.

"Alice, go in without me I saw saggy tits in there and I don't want to deal with her shit tonight." It was the first thing that came to mind, but she seemed to be buying it.

"Really, where?"

"Back there" I pointed and went back to the car and she shrugged it off and went in to get the food.

I sat in the car feeling beyond pissed as I reviewed the shit that I had just seen, Bella and Jacob. She wouldn't go out with me, but she would go out with that fucker that left her to go fuck some skank whore. It didn't make any sense to me. She had refused to be with me because she didn't think I would change, but Jake was far worse than me. This whole time I've never done anything to hurt Bella. Fuck, I haven't even thought of another girl. I hadn't even realized that until now, that in my pathetic state I had become utterly consumed with this girl that I barely knew and would probably never know because she had no desire to change that. It made me realize that this whole situation was very unhealthy and I needed to quit torturing myself over someone who wouldn't even look at me in the fucking hallway.

Even so I could see their faces smiling and laughing and it pissed me off because it was fucking bullshit, but I guess I didn't really know Bella at all. I was obviously dead wrong about how she felt about me.

The pizza place was packed since it was a Friday and Alice was still waiting in line as I fumed in the car. I looked up when I noticed that someone was coming out the door and I was hoping that it was Alice, but it wasn't. It was _them _and they were holding hands and I wanted to do nothing more than punch him in his face. I knew I had no real reason to, no right to be angry, and I also knew it wouldn't do me any fucking good. So, I watched her climb on the back of his fatal-accident-waiting-to-happen motorcycle, wrap her arms around him, and speed away.

That night I laid in bed and thought about everything and I mean fucking everything. The crazy conversation we had after the football game, the under the bleacher escapade, the pick pocketing, the missed phone calls, the conversations at school, the weight room. I stopped there and relished every single detail of that day…it wasn't even a day it was a brief stolen moment that was now long gone…except in my mind.

I remember she said that she did want to laugh and talk to me and I directly quote she wanted to kiss my 'sexy fucking face'. I don't think I had heard Bella drop the f-bomb before that day and it was hot. The truth was my arms had probably grown to be twice as large since that day because I now spend the majority of my work out time on that fucking bench…no pun intended.

I didn't dream of Bella that night and I was grateful for that. I actually dreamt of my mother. One of the dreams she was taking Alice and I to the first day of kindergarten and the other was all of us having a picnic at the park.

By some miracle of God I stayed sober this weekend determined not to let my true addiction, Bella, destroy me any further.

Monday morning I was at my locker crumpling the ill-gotten picture of Bella and shoving it into my back pack when I felt a little tap on my shoulder and my whole body tensed and felt warm and tingly all at the same time. I spun around to see a smiling Bella staring at me. This was the most frustrating girl I have ever met in my whole fucking life.

"Hey Edward, I was wondering if we could talk before class."

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Bella." I said in a flat tone.

"Yeah, or maybe it's a great fucking idea." she repeated the words I had said before, but she said them weakly because she didn't think I would change my mind and she was right, even though a cussing Bella did crazy shit to my body I had to get away from this addiction.

"Bella, we've already had this discussion. As I recall _you _made a decision and now I think you should stick by that decision and get the fuck away from my locker." I was harsh and mean, but I had to be or this sick obsession would just continue to consume me.

"But, I thought things were different that they could be different." she could barely choke out the words and I could see her bottom lip quiver. It took everything I had not to hold her close and apologize and go where ever the fuck she wanted to go to talk about whatever the fuck she wanted to talk about even if it was random trivia like Chevy Chase having turned down the role of Forest Gump or some shit.

I leaned down in front of her and gave her a knowing look and said "Yeah, well things aren't always the way they seem." she nodded in what I assumed admittance for doing whatever the fuck she was doing with Jake…dating him or fucking him or both which the very idea made me shake with anger. She took off running, actually bolting, down the hallway just to get away from me.

I decided this would be a good time to skip a day of school. I tried to remember what class Alice had so I could go tell her that she would need to get a ride home with Jasper. I racked my brain until I determined it was math and I ran over to that building trying to make it before the bell rang. I was walking around the hallways not seeing her and not seeing her in any of the classrooms I was peeking into either.

I was beginning to think that maybe it was actually science that she had first hour when I saw _her_ standing across the hallway.

No, it wasn't Bella because I had just seen Bella and she wasn't wearing a light blue shirt. I watched her brown hair sway with the movement of her head as she talked with some friends and I tried so hard to get a better look at her to make sure it wasn't the brace face from the dance. I walked down to the other end of the hallway so that she was in front of me and started walking towards her when she started walking this way. I had realized, better late than never, that I would just text Alice that I was sick and leaving. I was walking down the hallway still looking at my phone when the brown haired girl was right next to me and I bumped into her arm 'accidently'.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" I casually touched her arm and smiled at her while she stared at me with a shocked look on her face.

"Oh…um…yes. Uh, that's ok. I wasn't really watching where I was going and uh…"

Yeah, that's the reaction I'm fucking used to praise the fucking Lord the world makes sense again.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Edward Cullen." I gave her a great smile and stuck my hand out towards her knowing full damn well she knew who the fuck I was.

"Oh, nice to meet you, I'm Chelsea Hansen." She shook my hand and her cheeks blushed slightly but it wasn't the same as Bella's at all it was splotchy and a weird shade of pink. How does pink become weird? I don't fucking know, but it was. She was very pretty though. Her hair was long, but not quite as long as Bella's as it stopped in the middle of her back and Bella's would brush along the top of her ass as she walked. It was a darker brown too, it didn't have the different shades in it like Bella's does it was just dark. Chelsea's eyes were a really light brown and she had little freckles on her nose and cheeks that didn't look bad, but all I knew was that it was different than Bella. Her nose was small in a nice way and her smile was really big and really white. It wasn't so big that it looked like she wanted to bite you or something, but she did have a really big smile.

"Well Chelsea, I don't suppose you saw my sister Alice around here anywhere did you?"

"No, I didn't, but do you want help looking for her?" she asked sweetly.

"No, that's ok I was just hoping to talk to her before I go home 'sick'." I said with a wink.

"Oh, well if I see her I'll be sure to tell her." she said with her big smile.

"Or you could just come with me." I gave her my signature crooked smile and she didn't hesitate for one second.

"Ok, my locker is right over there."

She grabbed her bag and her jacket and we were on our way. Yes the world definitely makes sense again.

**A/N -**

**Teen angst - because I couldn't bring myself to say emo**

**The first care bear plush was made in 1983, so that's what I went with cuz I wiki'd that shit.**

**Screwdriver = orange juice + vodka (I won't hold it against you if you didn't know that, but could someone be a doll and make me one?)**

**The comment regarding the abundance of birds and shortage of stones is actually from a stand-up comedian I saw on comedy central. I don't remember his name, but that's where I got it from. It's probably on youtube, but I'm too lazy to look.**

**I take full credit for the porcupine saying and there's a story behind it, but it's not **

**that funny. **

**Dewey Decimal Classification System - the world's most widely used library classification system.**

**Battle Hymn of the Republic - you may know it as "Glory, Glory Hallelujah"**

**Edward's Song - Add It Up, Violent Femmes **

**The Harvard vs. Yale rivalry is just fun.**

**I think we are in need of some BPOV after all this tomfuckery. ..but first we need to know what the fuck Ed and Chelsea are doing!**

**Reviews are better than skipping school with Betward…maybe.**

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	6. Chapter 6 The Rebound

Disclaimer - Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I own Betward's potty mouth…oh yeah.

A/N -

I can't even express how much I love all you guys! I'm so flattered by all of the nice things that have been said and I'm touched that you are waiting anxiously for an update. Is this one of those stories where you see the update in your inbox and you clap and say "Yay!" or am I the only one that does that with updates?

Raise you hand if you want to kick Edward in the balls *Edward looks at Summer and she puts her hand down*. Ok, remember when I said don't get mad because he really tried and you guys nodded your heads ok? Well, remember that now.

I'm trying to outsmart the system since two random times it took everything that was not bold and made it bold and vice versa so, I'm trying to switch it first to see if that works. If it causes something crazy to happen like everything getting changed into wingdings (that crazy font) then I'm really sorry.

Chapter 6

The Rebound

We walked out of the school and I was feeling pretty damn good about things. Well, not exactly good because I had the oddest feeling of guilt bubbling in my stomach, but I knew there was no reason for it. This was how Bella wanted it to be so here you fucking go.

We got into my car and I kept thinking that Bella had never even been in my car before, she would've if we didn't find Jacob that night…but that's not how it happened. This is how it happened and maybe for the better too.

I leaned over to grab Chelsea's seat belt and fasten it for her not because I'm a conscientious driver or a gentleman, which I'm really not either, but because I wanted to get close to her. I let my face brush up against her hair, but it didn't smell like strawberries and she sure as hell didn't smell like candy and flowers either. I didn't know what the hell she smelled like, but it might as well have been T-Gel and ben gay because that's how appealing it was. _'Stupid non-strawberry smellin' _hair' I thought to myself.

She blushed her ugly, pink blush again and I ignored it by looking down her shirt. Her boobs weren't all saggy like S.T. McGee's, but they were still big in a really round fat kind of way. The kind of boobs that chicks pay good money to have and guys pay good money too see.

I started driving, but realized I had no freaking idea where I was going. This was not a well thought out plan, well I guess it wasn't really a plan at all, more like an impulsive, rash decision.

"So, I think my step mom's home, but we can go somewhere else." I knew she wasn't home, but I didn't want to bring this girl to my house.

"Ok" she said quietly she probably thought I was going to go park on a gravel road or some shit, which was tempting, but there could be plenty of time for that later since the only thing I knew about this girl was her name.

"Hey, how would you feel about going to Port Angeles?"

"Really?"

"Yeah" I said reassuringly since I was becoming more aware that she really was expecting something along the line of a gravel road. "Well, if you'd rather stay in town we can. I mean I don't want to get you in trouble or anything." Then she started laughing. What the fuck was so funny about going out with me, I mean fucking really!?

"You kidnap me from school and then worry about getting me in trouble for leaving town?" She had a sly smile on her face.

"Kidnap, huh? If I remember correctly you came willingly." I said flirtatiously.

"So I did." she said seductively and I was truly intrigued.

"So, if the captive was given a choice, how would you feel about going to see a movie?" I asked playfully.

"That sounds fun. Way better than Algebra." She said with a smile. Of course it sounded fun, because it is supposed to be fun not a fucking reason to panic like that one girl did. Yeah, I'm trying really hard not to think about her or her name and failing…epically.

OK, so I admit that this girl was a cheap imitation on the outside, but it seemed like she had potential. At the very least she seemed capable of bringing some sort of normalcy and sense back into my world that had been turned upside down by a chocolate eyed, feisty,…unavailable, fallen angel.

I had always known I didn't deserve her, but I denied it - fought against it like a drowning man against the current. Luckily, I got out before the waves consumed me. I had stolen her for a brief moment knowing that she was never mine to keep. Even when Mike had pointed at her I knew instantly that she was not meant to be with me. Well, that's not entirely true because when we were together it did feel like we should be, but in reality she deserved better and I was the fool who tried to convince myself otherwise

Since I was going on this quasi date with a virtual stranger, a self made blind date I suppose, I thought I would utilize the long drive to get to know her better.

"So, I assume that you don't have a boyfriend?"

"No, I don't," She bit her lip nervously, but not like how Bella did. Bella carefully nibbled so that I would find myself jealous of her bottom lip and desperate to kiss her, but Chelsea, well she just looked like a beaver when she did it.

"So, have you had any serious boyfriends?" Yeah, this is what I asked because for some reason 'Please for the love of baby Jesus tell me you're not a virgin.' just didn't seem appropriate.

"I've had a couple." She answered coyly. Yeah, she knew what the fuck I was talking about and I sighed in relief over that shit.

Now that I had the important shit out of the way, I just let her jabber on about whatever crap she was saying. She told me she was a sophomore and about how she was getting ready to take the driving test to get her license since she just turned sixteen.

She was nice enough to talk to. I mean we weren't discussing the meaning of life or the Battle Hymn of the motherfucking Republic, but it was comfortable.

When we got to the movie theatre there's was a younger guy selling the tickets and he didn't give it a second thought that we should probably be in school instead of watching a matinee on a Monday morning, but really why would he give a fuck anyway. I bet some old lady probably would've been all up in arms, but this dude was probably making minimum wage and didn't give a shit what we did.

I would've seen a chick flick for Bella, but I really, really didn't want to watch that shit today. Still this fucking girl left school, which could possibly result in punishment from the school and/or her parents and got into a car with someone she never spoke to before, so what the fuck did I care if she picked the damn movie…I didn't.

She actually made a pretty good choice entitled "The Hangover". I thought that sounded better than anything else that was showing. I mean it could double as the title of my life at the moment, either that or Asshole, so I guess 'The Asshole's Hangover' yeah that sounds about right.

We got a big tub of popcorn and some sodas, which was replacing what had become my regular breakfast of champions namely vodka in some sort of liquid. I resisted buying some strawberry candy and we made our way into the theatre.

We sat in the back and by the time the previews started only one other couple had come in. They looked to be college age and sat towards the front.

I was honestly focusing on the movie and the crazy shit that was going on that I entirely forgot that there was someone sitting next to me. Sure, I've had crazy mornings, but nowhere near the funny ass shit in this movie. My biggest indiscretion has been waking up surprised to find McGee in my bed, but to find a tiger in the fucking bathroom well, that would just suck. I mean sure the tiger probably looks better in the morning but at least McGee makes pancakes.

The only time that I remembered she was there was when she brushed against my arm or was taking popcorn from the bucket in my lap. I personally felt like a jackass holding the popcorn, like only pervs hold the popcorn so they can cut a hole in the bottom, but I've seen enough movies with Alice to know that, according to her, no girl wants to hold the fucking popcorn and feel like a pig. Whatever, I had the popcorn.

I apparently didn't need to cut a hole in the bottom of the bucket, which I already knew, but my ego has taken a beating over the past couple of weeks. I felt Chelsea's manicured hand slide up my leg and start rubbing my cock. Softly at first like maybe she wasn't even touching it at all and then harder and harder which I could say the same for my dick.

She unbuttoned my pants and undid the zipper with one hand. She continued to stroke my dick, that was now out in the open in the middle of the fucking theatre, with one hand (for the record I have no fucking idea where the popcorn went) while she pretended to still watch the movie or maybe she wasn't pretending maybe she was just a multi-tasker. I knew one thing for sure I was no longer watching the fucking movie, I mean I could see it, but I was still a little shocked at what happened in the past 3.5 seconds.

I didn't want to think about it, about anything other than it felt fucking good, because it did. My head fell back onto the seat and I closed my eyes for a moment until I felt something wet and warm on my dick which nearly made me jump out of my skin. I looked down in the dark and all I saw was the top of Chelsea's head and all her brown hair all around her. It could've been any brunette down there at that moment for as well as I could see and that turned me on even more because 'any' really only meant one.

My head returned to the back of the seat as she continued to lick and suck. I brushed some of her hair back and was still thankful for the darkness because dark, brown hair and multi-hued, brown hair were the same here. My hand started to drift down to grab her boobs, but I hesitated because this was our 'first date', but then remembered that she was going down on me in the middle of a fucking movie theatre (technically in the back, but it's figure of speech). My hand continued down and cupped one of her breasts squeezing the abundance of flesh in my hand . She moaned and it sent chills up my entire body. If it wasn't obvious up to this point that this wasn't her first hot dog eating contest so to speak, she made it abundantly clear as she moved her mouth away slightly while still licking and stroking a few more times, and then cleaned up the mess that followed with napkins that she manifested out of nowhere. I didn't even get a chance to tell her I was close. Did I care that she didn't swallow? Well, it did feel good if it stayed in her, whoever's, mouth, but as far as what she actually did with the jiz I didn't give a shit and I don't really see why I should. I already got off, obviously, so her swallowing, gargling, or doing anything short of spitting the shit in my face wasn't going to change anything.

We watched the rest of the movie and she leaned her had against my shoulder and I ran my fingers through her hair while I prayed that I wouldn't call her the wrong name.

The name thing wasn't a problem at all in the daylight as soon as we stepped foot outside it was blatantly obvious that although she was pretty and brunette she was nothing like Bella. That only became more evident when she spoke, but it was easy enough to nod at the trivial non sense that she talked about.

When we left the movie theatre we went to a restaurant for lunch. It was just some random restaurant, Apple Friday's or some shit. I got a hamburger that wasn't even like a hamburger because it had all these different things on it like onion rings and other kinds of meat and God knows what else. It was like a meal of 10 different things all squeezed under one bun, but it was fucking good. She got a salad, see I did know what I was talking about, but it made no sense to me since I could barely see the vegetables under the piles of cheese, fried chicken, and dressing that she drowned it in. She would have been better off getting a burger, but whatever.

We made it back to the school right before dismissal so I could drop Chelsea off. She said that until she got her license her parents were expecting her to ride the bus, but she probably just wanted to tell all her friends about ditching school and sucking my dick. I wonder how long it would take for this to get back to Bella? Wait, what the fuck do I care? She was out the other night with Jacob, besides she had her chance at a movie and a salad, no BJ expected, and she turned it down to be with that asshole, so I hope she's happy.

I dropped Chelsea off at the side of the building after a quick hug and I didn't even watch to see if she made it to wherever the fuck she was going before I pulled away. The parking lot was starting to get congested so after a few minutes I was on my way. At the stoplight I spotted a motorcycle in the turning lane. It had to be them. Neither one of the jackasses was wearing a helmet so it was easy to recognize them and I was tempted to call her father before her brains ended up all over Main Street.

I could see her long hair waving around in the breeze as they waited for the light. There was enough sunlight to bring out all of the colors in her hair and I just sat that and stared like an idiot. Then she turned and looked right at me with her arms still tightly around Jacob and she smiled at me. I couldn't help but to smile back, but then I quickly realized that that was no smile, it was an evil smirk. She then laid her head against his back and flipped me off before they sped away. Fallen angel indeed.

A/N -

T-Gel - Medicated shampoo

I wasn't going to say which movie, but my friend insisted so whatever.

Soda - carbonated beverage, I know some people call it pop I do too, but I felt like saying soda. Are there any other names for it? I know there's readers in other countries and I don't even pretend to know half of the slang in the country I actually live in.

The BJ - Hell no Chels (we're chummy like that) didn't swallow because that shit's nasty. I don't care for scenes in stories that make it sound like champagne shoots out of the motherfucker and they gulp it down happily, so here in the TB (not the disease) we don't swallow, lol. (I tried to make it realistic and talked to my dh about it, but still it's a chick writing it, lol)

More about Chelsea - I know there's readers who are very against Ed and Chels sleeping together, or rather bumping uglies, we don't care if they sleep. Honestly, I am too and I've been on the fence about it and had already planned this innocent oral for their first encounter. I have plans for Chelsea, but I don't want to say more because I don't want to spoil anything for those (not lulu) who don't want things spoiled. I love hearing your opinions and thoughts they really do help with things that I'm not sure about, but please trust that all this craziness has a purpose. :)

This is a short chapter I know, but next chapter will be a lot longer because it will be BPOV of all this fuckery. I'm giving myself til Tuesday at the earliest to have it finished because a lot of crap, that I'm sure you don't want to hear about, is going on.

Ok, right now this story is at 63 reviews (which I'm totally stoked about!), but how long do you think it'll take to get to 100? Yes, that's a challenge. :)

Reviews are better than waking up to a tiger in your bathroom…totally!


	7. Chapter 7 The Paradox

**A/N - I love everyone that enjoys reading this crazy, vulgar non-sense that comes out of my warped mind!**

****Raise your hand if you want Edward to find out about the baby and have them hump like rabbits in the next chapter. Awesome, me too, but this is a drama so I'm going to fuck with them first. *rubs hands diabolically* But, a lot **_**is**_** going to happen next chapter and don't worry this IS a BxE story and I have good news…I am almost definitely going to do a sequel (All Bets Off) when this one is finished and then we won't have to deal with feeling like "Oh my God when are they going to see the light and get together?!". I love you guys please trust my insanity, I'll try to make it as fast and painless as possible! (Well, at least fast) :)**

**Thanks to lulu who beta'd this chapter for me, saving the world one apostrophe at a time.**

**The long awaited bpov is here and I just wanted to say that I foresee the majority of future chapters, as it has been thus far, to be epov.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

**The Paradox**

**BPOV ('weight bench day')**

I stopped at the door, my shaking hand resting on the handle unwilling to move, but I had to it was for the best.

"Goodbye Edward" I whispered.

The further I walked the more it felt like I made the wrong decision. I wanted to run back to him, jump into his arms, and tell him I was wrong before I kissed him. Instead, I decided to go to the nurse and tell her I got sick. I couldn't stay here a second longer, I just wanted to go home. I went to my locker and gathered my things before I went to the office.

As I was walking down the hallway I had the urge to go back to the weight lifting room, but what would I say? Did it matter? I wanted to be near him, I didn't want to stay away, it was so difficult, almost painfully so.

I found myself running down the hallway and flinging the weight room door open to find…nothing. Just an empty room with memories lingering in the air. I turned around and walked slowly all the way to the office. All my thoughts swirling around in my head. What if he had been there? We would have kissed and what made plans to go out and we would 'fuck' as he put it and that would be that. Maybe not right away, but I'm sure all too quickly he would grow tired of me and then that would be that. I know people break up all the time, but I would never tire of him, I knew it was impossible, and I didn't want to be left…rejected. Perhaps it was a sign that he wasn't there, that this was the way it should be, but did I even believe in signs?

I sat in the nurse's office, in a small, plastic chair, while she eyed me suspiciously. I was not in the mood for this.

"I can call my dad and have him schedule a doctor's appointment and pick me up if you like, but I don't feel well and I really need to go home."

"No, no you obviously don't feel well. You can go, just give this slip to Ms. Cope."

Ha ha, of course she didn't want me drag my father away from whatever important police work he was doing, catching J-walkers or whatever, to come down here because she was being an uptight bitch.

When I got home I went straight to my bed and curled up under the covers. I probably should've taken a shower, but I didn't want to. I could smell him on my skin and I just wanted to lay here and remember him, the way he touched me, the way he kissed me, the way he made me feel.

I fell asleep thinking about Edward on top of me. The stray sunbeams reflecting off his careless hair. His green eyes full of passion made me feel like they were consuming me. I could see every muscle on his stomach. I had run my finger over the smooth ridges before I let my hands grasp his shoulders, my body begging him to be closer. The thoughts drifted into my dreams until the vision had become our intertwined bodies moving on the large, white bed of my fantasies.

The past two days had gone by in a blur. I saw him and he saw me, but we acted as if we didn't. He had never noticed me before, not really, so this shouldn't feel any different, but it did. I had walked past him in the hallway every day, we had an almost identical class schedule, I was his freaking lab partner for a whole semester last year and yet he never really saw me until last Friday - 1 week ago today.

I wonder why that was? Was it just an opportunistic thing? I was there and available and more than willing so that made me worthy of his time.

It felt like more, it felt like magic just like he said…it felt like love or what I imagine love between a man and woman to feel like or maybe I was confusing it for lust. I really would be a fool if I thought Edward Cullen was just going to fall in love with some geek that he didn't even know existed for the past year just because we banged a couple of times. It was fun and that was that, but it felt like so much more that I couldn't rid myself of the feeling, the need to be close to him.

I walked into the first class of the day noticing that Edward was already there, but I tried hard not to look back at him while I took my new seat in the front row. I just couldn't handle sitting behind him anymore. I would stare at the back of his head studying each crazy direction is hair pointed in and anxiously awaiting him to touch his hair. Each time I would get a glimpse of his hand as it ran through the locks from front to back. Once he reached the back I could see his entire hand and it made my body tingle remembering how that hand felt on me. After two days of getting worked up over a stupid hand I had to move if I ever wanted to hear another word the teacher said and pass the class.

The bell rang and I watched Edward stagger out the door. The past two days his coordination had been much of the same and I tried to recall if Edward had always made it a habit to come to school inebriated, but just because I couldn't recall one time didn't mean that it hadn't happened before.

I started to leave when the teacher stopped me.

"Bella, give this to Edward, please." His voice was stern and he was not asking. The 'please' was just a mere formality and not really a sign of any manners or respect.

"Um, okay." I said taking the paper with a shaking hand.

I walked to Edward's locker and he was standing there with his eyes closed and his head against the locker door. He looked so sad; it must've been the same way I looked.

"Edward?"

"Go Away, Alice."

"Um, it's not Alice." I knew Alice was his sister since I knew Emmett so well, but I never really talked to her or anything. "Are you okay?" He didn't seem like himself, even if he was drunk. He was jumpy and it looked like he got his clothes out of a trash can and that he may or may not have slept in said trash can also.

"Yeah, I'm great. What do you want?" He said it like I was the last person he wanted to see and I suppose I was. His agitation caught me off guard, even though I suppose it shouldn't have, and it put me at a loss for words.

"Oh, I um…" I could see how tired his eyes looked and the shadow of hair that covered his face was something that I had never seen before. I was snapped out of my stupor by Edward's abrupt command.

"Christ Bella, spit it out so I can get to fucking class."

I forced my hand out while I stared at him stunned. "Here" I said while he snatched it out of my hand and squinted at it trying to figure out what I just handed him. His face was hard to read and I felt like I shouldn't have come here. After everything I had said the other day I should've gotten someone else to give to him or pushed it through the slots after he left, although I doubt in all his drunk confusion he would've noticed it, but the truth was I was a glutton for punishment and found it necessary to stand in front of the one person I wanted and couldn't have. "I'm sorry I bothered you, but the teacher told me to give that to you." I choked out. I felt the tears starting to well up in my eyes and I quickly made my way to the girl's bathroom.

I told myself it wasn't a big deal that I just caught him off guard and it had only been two days since _everything_ happened and not to mention he was awfully drunk. I took a few deep breaths and splashed some cold water on my face. Once I calmed down I left the bathroom and went to class. I just wanted this Friday to be over so I could go home and forget about Edward Cullen…yeah right.

The weekend went by slow and was extremely uneventful, which my weekends usually were. I spent the majority of my time moping around the house and briefly talked to Angela and Jake on the phone a couple of times, but the most exciting thing of my weekend was filleting twenty fish. Did I say exciting? I meant gross.

Back at school the week was going even slower and it felt like torture having to continue staying away from someone I felt so drawn to.

I had finished my report on Abraham Lincoln over the weekend so, by Wednesday I couldn't stay at my seat in American History listening to Jessica describe another sexual act for fear I would start screaming. She was telling Lauren about some guy that she met and had sex with, but didn't even know his name which was pretty tame from the usual conversation of random things that have been shoved up her. Just breathing the same air as the two of them made me afraid that I would catch a STD. Jessica, just like Lauren, was known for being a slut, but was I any different? Yeah, I wasn't into foreign objects and I knew Edward's name, but not much else. I sighed and tried to push away my self-loathing insults to attempt to get the hell out of here.

Since I had already turned in my report all I needed to do was study for the upcoming test and Mrs. Whitaker didn't mind if I studied in the library. I wasted no time in bolting out of the room and into the library.

There were tables everywhere in the library, but if I wanted to hear about more debauched, sexual antics I would have stayed in class so I found a nice quiet corner and started reading about the Civil War. I was several pages in, underlining important information periodically with the pencil behind my ear, and absentmindedly humming The Battle Hymn of the Republic. Several minutes into reading I had a weird feeling come over me and I felt like I was being watched, but I kept on reading.

"Bella what are you doing?" I would know that voice anywhere. It was the most beautiful voice I've ever heard, especially when it was saying dirty things to me, just the sound and the memory made me shiver and I couldn't even look up at him.

"I'm studying" I said nicely.

"And humming?" I nodded while still looking down. "The Battle Hymn of the Republic?" He asked almost in disbelief. He knew what I was humming? Well, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. I had the highest ranking GPA in the class with the exception of only one person…Edward Cullen.

"It sure is. It puts me in the right frame of mind for Civil War reading." Oh my gosh, could I sound like a bigger dork?

Apparently not because he was standing there in all his sexy gloriousness, yeah he looks disheveled and tired, but still sexy as hell, and he's laughing his ass off at me. Then, out of nowhere it seemed, he sat next to me and I could feel that pull to be closer, but it also just felt good to be this close.

"Bella that's the cutest fucking shit ever." I laughed and looked back down because I knew if I didn't I would stare at him and get lost in his emerald eyes. I started humming again and I could hear him sucking on candy in his mouth and I swear my nipples got hard just hearing the sound. I had to focus on something else so I tried to put all my attention on the paragraph I was reading about Gen. Ulysses S. Grant otherwise known as "Unconditional Surrender" Grant.

I had read the same sentence five times and was failing miserably at trying to keep the memories of the last time we were together out of my head. No matter how hard I tried, I could only hear the noise of the candy in his mouth. As a matter of fact it always seemed like he had a piece of candy in his mouth lately, but I never noticed it before. Maybe he's not the only one that's unobservant.

"You really like candy don't you?" I blurted out.

"More than you could ever believe." That was the sexiest thing I've ever heard, even though I'm not really sure why, with the exception of the hot things that he whispered into my ear in the weight room. Well, that didn't take me long, about 2 seconds, for my thoughts to be brought right back to that day. They were always on that day even in my sleep.

Maybe I should've taken his phone number when he offered it, even if he was just wanting a bang buddy. The negatives of that scenario were quickly diminishing, but still that wasn't me and I would always want more.

The rest went in a blur of eating candy, me saying random stupid things, and proving that I could be a librarian with how well I knew the library. The bell rang and he left as I picked up my books feeling more confused than I ever had.

It was nice hanging out with Edward except I wanted to jump him and tear off his clothes which I'm pretty sure he'd let me, but then what? I'm beginning to feel convinced that all this turmoil is my own damn fault.

I gave in to my desires to have Edward as my first, thinking I could accept it as a one-time fling, and ever since I've tried so hard to stay away from him, but I couldn't. He would be there and I would give in. Not in a surrendering in defeat type of way, but in a way that two magnets could never deny being attracted and inevitably coming together…ugh I sound like a lovesick puppy.

I shook my head trying to regain some clarity. I wasn't a stupid magnet and Edward wasn't a magnet either. I just wasn't trying hard enough. We went nearly a year with barely knowing the other existed. Sure, I knew he was there. I think every girl did because he was breathtakingly handsome, but I never felt empty and pained when I wasn't near him. I just wasn't going about this the right way. I needed to try harder to stay away from him, to make it go back to the way it was before.

That night I had dreams of Edward sneaking into my room where I woke up to him sitting on my bed. It felt like I couldn't get near him fast enough. I jumped on his lap, kissing him hard just needing to feel his lips against mine. I shoved him back onto my bed so I was still on top and straddling him. I could feel his hard dick pressed against me and I moved against it as we both moaned in anticipation. He grabbed me and flipped me over so he was on top. His hands started at my ankles and inched slowly up my legs leaving sparks of warmth in their wake. Then out of nowhere I felt my underwear being yanked down forcefully, but the roughness felt good because it showed how desperate he needed to feel me against him and it matched my desperation to feel him. He leaned over me, already undressed, and pulled my nightgown up and grabbed my breasts, palming them in his strong hands. He pinched my nipples making it feel like jolts of electricity were shooting through me making me wet and craving the feeling of him inside of me. I could feel his dick against my opening and I spread my legs further and further practically begging him to be inside of me. I whimpered and bucked my hips so that I was pushing back against him. He finally pushed into me slowly. I relished every second of feeling the pressure of myself spreading to accommodate his large dick.

I woke up in a sweat trying to catch my breath. The sun was barely rising, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep after that, so I got up and took a much needed shower.

At school I steered clear of Edward. I didn't let our eyes meet, I didn't walk anywhere near him in the hallway, and completely ignored him in class.

In our last class together it was all I could do to not look back at him or wave or pull him into the janitor's closet. I didn't hear a word the teacher said I just stared at my paper as my pen made circular swirls. I wasn't giving the aimless drawing too much thought I just stared at the shapes and let my dreams from the previous night play in my head. My tired head was leaning against my palm and I could hear his voice in my ear, feel his body against mine, and taste his kisses on my mouth. I was getting carried away with thoughts of him tearing off my underwear and thrusting into me when the bell rang. It took me a moment to gather my things and then I was out the door. I passed Edward on the way to my locker. His ipod was blaring loud enough to cause permanent hearing loss and he was vaguely mumbling the lyrics. I was right next to him and heard "Believe me I know what to do, but something won't let me make love to you." I second that, wholeheartedly.

Thursday night was roughly the same dream and I gave Edward the same cold shoulder again that Friday at school, which I hated beyond belief.

Friday I left school feeling frustrated and confused. I found myself at Jacob's, the place I go when I'm lost and alone. Jacob is far from boyfriend material, but he's the best friend I've ever had despite his brief lapses in judgment.

I let myself into Jacob's house and found him lying on the couch playing a video game. His eyes never left the television as I walked in.

"Hey, Jake. I've missed you."

"Of course you have." he said with a teasing grin on his face.

I laid down next to him and he only moved his arm so that it was around me and quickly back to the controller. I laid there watching him shoot some sort of aliens or swamp creatures or whatever.

"Bella, is something wrong?"

"Yes, I'm going crazy."

"Oh, is that all? Would you care to elaborate?"

"It's about a boy" I said meekly. "I really like someone, but I think he's only interested in one thing and I'm afraid of getting hurt."

Jacob tensed up and abandoned his game. He turned me around on the small couch so that I was facing him instead of the TV and I stared up at him.

"Are you talking about me?"

"Jacob!" I slapped his arm. "How many times have I told you you're like my brother?"

"I don't know how many times because I ignore it when you say that and besides you don't even have a brother so how the hell would you know?"

"Whatever Jake, I'm going to leave before you get a hard on and make this even more embarrassing." I said seriously as I scooted away from him on the couch, but I didn't get far before he stopped me.

"Ooh, listen to the big talk from the little virgin. I think I've talked too dirty in front of your virgin ears."

I blushed the darkest shade of red possible and looked down.

"Bella, you shouldn't be ashamed of being a virgin."

"I'm not." I said quietly,

Jake lifted my head up so I had to look him in the eyes. "You're not ashamed or you're not a virgin?"

"Both?" It came out like a question and my voice cracked while I said it. Jake just stared back at me shocked.

"Does this have to do with your boy trouble?" I nodded and he paused for a second. "Does this have to do with Edward Cullen?"

"Uh huh" tears of frustration started rolling down my cheeks and I buried my head in Jacob's chest.

"Did he hurt you Bells? Because if he did I swear to God -"

"No Jake, it's nothing like that. I'm just so confused."

"Wait. When did this happen?"

"Remember when you went off and banged that dirty slut?"

"Yeah" He didn't disagree with the dirty slut part nor was it something new for me to say in regards to his choice in ladies and I use the word 'ladies' loosely, pardon the pun.

"Well, you weren't the only one that got lucky that night." I shrugged my shoulders and he just sat quietly behind me taking it all in.

"Okay, Bella, so what happened after?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you said you were confused and that you thought he was only interested in one thing so when you were walking with him holding his hand that was after right?"

"Yeah, he kissed me and then held my hand and he was going to drive me home because he said I shouldn't walk in the dark."

"Okay, then what?"

"Then I left with you and after you dropped me off I went to the dance to get my underwear back from Edward which I did." I added triumphantly.

"He took your underwear and then you got them back?" He said it like he was repeating it out loud just so he could hear it again because he couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, I mean I don't know if he took them on purpose, at least he didn't throw them on the ground, but I doubt he had any intention on returning them so I swiped them out of his pocket."

"And then what did he yell at you or anything?"

"No, he said he was looking for me and that he wanted to dance with me and I said yeah right and I left."

"Okay, and then the next day he sent you a dozen roses?"

"Yes he did and apparently he tried calling me to make sure I got them, but some asshole didn't tell me."

"Oh yeah. Bells, Edward Cullen called for you."

"Thanks so much ,Jake." I said sarcastically.

"No, problem. So, what has he said to you since?"

"Um, he tried to give me his number, wanted to take me to the movies, said he liked me but I was unsocial, and we kinda did it again, but I told him I was convinced he'd hurt me and I didn't want to be hurt."

"Bella, how have you felt since that day you turned him down?"

"Like shit. I miss him and I want to talk to him, but I don't know how and I'm so afraid of being with him and that once he's tired of me he'll just throw me away."

"Bella, he's already 'been with you' and he wanted to do shit that I never do with chicks that I don't really care about. If he didn't really like you he wouldn't give a shit if you walked home in the dark or called him. He wouldn't want to take you out on a date and he most certainly wouldn't send you flowers. Believe me someone like Edward Cullen doesn't have to do all that to get laid, if it was just about sex then it would just be about sex and not all those other things."

"It makes so much sense when you say it, but I'm still afraid of getting hurt."

"Yeah, how's that working out for you? Are you feeling good or are you feeling miserable anyway."

He was right. I was so worried about Edward breaking my heart that I pushed him away while my heart ached to be near him again.

"Bella, life is about risks and if something is worth having than it's worth working for."

He patted me on the shoulder and despite the fact that he sounded like he was reading shit off of cheesy posters, he was right.

"I love you Jacob. You're so smart."

"Aw Bells, besides the fact that you won't sleep with me I love you too and I would like to get that in writing."

"That I won't sleep with you? I'll write it down right now for you." I smiled at him and he made fake laughing noises.

"So, now what?"

"Well, I need to talk to him." I sat up and looked at the clock. There's a football game tonight will you go with me so I can talk to him after?"

"Yes, but if Whorey Laurie comes up to me I'm going to run and hide." He said with a laugh.

"Whatever, but you know that's not her name right?" Well, at least not the Laurie part.

"You know I don't care right?" I just nodded like 'yeah whatever'.

"Well, let's go to my house so I can change and drop off my backpack. Oh yes, and make you something to eat."

"We make a pretty good team." he said while putting his arm around me. "I help you with your dude problems and you feed me."

"Yeah, we're great, but I hope I don't have any more guy problems and eventually you'll have a girlfriend to cook for you."

"Sure, Sure"

Jake followed behind me on his motorcycle because he said that he didn't want me to have to take him home, but I knew he just liked to ride it and he had mentioned something about it attracting the chicks.

When we got back to my house Jacob looked nervous as we were walking up the sidewalk and then he turned towards me.

"Bella, um when you were _with_ him it was okay right? I mean you wanted to you didn't feel like you had to right?"

"Jake, of course not. He didn't do anything to pressure me." I looked at him offended, but I could see that he was only concerned.

"I'm just surprised. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just not like you that's all."

"Maybe that was the point."

He didn't say anything after that. I changed my clothes and made Jake something to eat, but it felt like I had a million butterflies in my stomach, so I didn't eat anything.

My dad wasn't home yet when we left for the game, so I left his dinner in the refrigerator with a note on warming instructions and that I'd be home later. Yes, putting something in the microwave sounds easy to me, but apparently to a guy it means 'put it in for 2-3 times too long so it can explode and then leave it for someone else to clean up'.

We sat together in the bleachers under an umbrella and a blanket since it was cold and raining. It was still pretty crowded despite the rain, but I guess everyone here is probably used to this weather. When the game was over I rushed down the bleachers, surprisingly not breaking my neck, and raced to the locker room to wait for Edward.

I had left Jacob far behind me as soon as I saw the last seconds counting down on the scoreboard and now I was only thinking about what I was going to say when I saw Edward. I still had butterflies in my stomach, but I was so excited. It had been days and I was anxious for him to wrap me in his arms and kiss me. Just then I heard someone come out and I stared at the door nervously.

Oh just my luck, Mike Newton.

"Hey Bella, it's good to see you." Yeah, I'm sure since every time he sees me it's like he undresses me with his eyes and I don't even want to know what else he's picturing in his mind.

"You too Mike, but I'm actually looking for Edward."

"Oh, he left right after the game. That fag refuses to shower with the rest of the team."

"Why would _not_ wanting to shower with a bunch of guys make someone gay? If you care so much then maybe you're the fag." I didn't really think about it before I said it, I just wanted to defend Edward and insulting Mike on top of that just made it that much better.

He took a step closer to me and I took a step back. I didn't like the look in his eyes and I could feel my heart pound erratically, soon I was against the wall and he was directly in front of my face.

"Oh yeah Bella, well why don't I show you how gay I am."

"Mike, I have to go my friend is waiting for me." I tried to sound more angry than scared which wasn't too difficult because the smell of his nasty cologne and his hot breath on me were pissing me off.

"I hope you're not talking about Edward because he was only using you. He just wanted-"

I could feel the tears begin to sting my eyes and then all of a sudden Mike went flying to the side and Jake was standing in front of me. I turned my head to see Mike lying on the ground with a look of utter confusion on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jacob was over there in a split second. He was kneeling on the ground and was leaning forward so his face wasn't even an inch away from Mike's. His voice sounded like nothing more than a low growl and I couldn't make out what he was saying, but as soon as he backed away Mike got up and practically ran towards the parking lot.

Jacob rushed over to me and put his arm around me which was when I realized that I was shaking.

"Thanks Jake." I said weakly.

"You must be starving, why don't we go get something to eat. We can take my motorcycle so you don't have to drive. I know how much you like it." He said the last part in a way to try to tempt me, but in all actuality I didn't like riding on his motorcycle because I was afraid that my dad would catch us.

"Jake, you know I don't care much for that motorcycle."

"Yeah, but you hold onto me so tight and press up against me, plus you look fucking hot with your hair blowing in the wind. Oh, well I guess it's me that likes it then, but whatever lets go get something to eat." He was laughing, trying to get me to laugh too which I did a little.

"Fine Jake, let's go."

He just ate before the game and during the game too as a matter of fact, but Jake was so huge and active feeding him was almost the equivalent to feeding an elephant at the zoo and I hadn't eaten since lunch so he was right I was hungry. I was also looking forward to leaving here and taking my mind off what just happened and also what didn't happen. I would have to think of another way to talk to Edward…and soon.

We sat at a table in the middle of the Pizza Palace, which is where Jake wanted to go, and I was slowly eating my pizza. I was thinking about everything that happened in contrast to how I had envisioned it going, but I guess it could have been worse.

"Hey Bells, don't worry okay." Jake reached across the table and brushed one lone tear from my cheek. "That Mike is a douche and he's lucky I didn't fuck him up, but you know he was just saying that shit because he's a perverted asshole right?"

I smiled at him because it was what I needed to hear. Well, I could have done without all of the colorful additives, but besides that it was what I needed to hear. I didn't even scold him for his foul mouth. I actually kind of liked it since it reminded me of Edward. I'm sick aren't I?

"So, why don't you tell me more about this underwear thievery." He prompted.

"There's not much to tell. He took my underwear and I went to the dance, walked in without paying actually, and when the girl tried to stop me I told her that I just needed to talk to someone really quick. Luckily, I found him, and my undies, before the freshman ticket Nazi found me and then I left."

"Sounds exciting. So which ones were they?"

"Excuse me?"

"Which panties? The lacy black ones, the dark blue ones, the silky flowery ones, oh for the love of everything see through please don't tell me it was the ones with the cartoon characters on them!"

"Jacob! Despite being terribly embarrassed by the inventory you've seemed to have taken of my underwear drawer I really don't think this is relevant." I reached over and smacked his arm, but really he was just being Jake.

"Fuck relevant, I'm just curious. It was the cartoon ones wasn't it."

"Fine if you must know, it was the white ones with the little pink flower."

He nodded in what seemed to be approval, but for what reason I'm not sure. Then he mussed up my hair and laughed at me. I couldn't help, but to laugh back. It was the effect that Jacob had on me, the very reason we were best friends.

I went back to eating my pizza and Jake was eating what must have been his 8th slice until he looked over at something that had caught his attention.

"Hey, there's your boyfriend's twin sister. Maybe you should go talk to her."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass. I barely know her and I'm really not quite sure what I would say 'Hey tell your brother that took my virginity that I do want to see a movie with him and bang him on the weight bench again.' no thanks I'll just wait."

Jacob's mouth hung open for a brief moment before I imagine he convinced himself that 'again' didn't really mean again and then he went back to eating and talking.

"Maybe he's here" Jake said, but we looked around and didn't see him anywhere and since she was in the take out line we assumed he wasn't.

We finished up and made our way to the door through the crowd of mostly high school kids.

"Hey Bells, after you talk to Prince Charming, you're still gonna you know hang out with me and shit right?" Jacob was goofy and continuously inappropriate, but that was just him and for some reason we made a great pair and he was genuinely concerned that he would lose my friendship. I took his hand in mine, which was nothing new for us, we held hands and hung out together all the time, since we were little kids.

"I will always be your friend, Jacob." I said reassuringly and we left the restaurant. It did calm him and he smiled at me and I smiled back as we walked into the parking lot.

I hopped onto the bike after he got on and wrapped my arms around him. He was always so warm and it was just a part of what made me feel safe and comfortable when I was near him. He dropped me off at my truck and I went home.

I debated on whether or not I should call Edward, but it was late and I didn't want his parents to answer and yell at me so I decided to call in the morning.

There was no answer on Saturday or Sunday. I called periodically until I felt like a crazed stalker and then stopped. It took everything I had to find things to do to keep my mind off of him. I finished all my homework and two books, one I was reading for leisure and the other for school. I caught up on housework, cooked, and baked until Charlie probably thought I was on speed or something.

Sunday I invited Jacob over to share in the abundance of baked goods that were overflowing from my kitchen, but I barely got out the words cake and pie before he was barging through the door.

He praised me as if I had raised someone from the dead when all I did was pull out vanilla ice cream from the freezer after he casually mentioned something about a la mode. So, 3 slices of pie a la mode, 2 pieces of cake, 12 cookies, 4 brownies, and a partridge in a pear tree later we were sitting on the couch watching a movie while I ignored Jake and rambled on about if I should try to call Edward again and Jake ignored me while whining about his stomach hurting…wonder why.

I decided that I would see him tomorrow anyway so I might as well do this in person. When Jacob was leaving, miraculously I didn't have to roll him out, he wished me luck with my 'Prince Charming talk'.

It was Monday morning and I had been a nervous wreck the whole time getting ready for school and Charlie looked at me suspiciously when my shaking hands nearly sent coffee all over the kitchen when I tried to pour it into his mug, now he probably really does think I'm on speed.

I stood at my locker trying for the 7th time to get it open, but my hands were still shaking and I wasn't getting the combination right. Finally I did and shoved my jacket and bag in while pulling my books and stuff out and slammed the door in a flash. I walked down the hallway to see Edward staring at, what I assumed to be, the pictures of the broad wearing angel wings and barely anything else.

I stood behind him for a moment scared that he would yell at me again, it seemed he was always drunk in the morning, but he had apologized last time, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about.

I gently tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around I felt myself become overjoyed with just seeing him and I know I had a huge smile on my face.

"Hey Edward, I was wondering if we could talk before class." He looked more tired than I'd probably ever seen him, but more than that he looked mad. No, mad didn't even cover it he looked enraged and…disgusted?

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Bella." He said with a complete lack of feeling.

"Yeah, or maybe it's a great fucking idea." I tried saying what he said to me the other day, but I could barely choke out the words. The cold look in his eyes was the exact opposite of how I remembered them and just that look alone was bringing tears to my eyes. I wanted to believe in my heart that he would hear what I needed to say, but in my head I knew he wouldn't.

"Bella, we've already had this discussion. As I recall _you _made a decision and now I think you should stick by that decision and get the fuck away from my locker." I was shocked I didn't know what to say this isn't at all what I expected. Wait a minute; this was _exactly_ what I had expected up until this weekend when I convinced myself that I should give him a chance. He just looked so angry that I was shaking even more than I was at my locker and I thought I would burst into tears at any moment.

"But, I thought things were different that they could be different." I felt like this was a cruel trick and maybe it had been. Maybe what Mike had said was true all along and that's when it dawned on me how did Mike even know about Edward and I? He must've told him, told him how stupid and gullible I was.

He leaned down in front of me and gave me a serious look. "Yeah, well things aren't always the way they seem." I nodded my head while the horrible realization that I was right all along hit me hard. The passionate kisses, the empty promises, the tender words they were all a lie everything was a lie…I was right.

I had to get away from him before I broke down and did something stupid like cry at his feet or something.

I ran down the hallway as fast as I could not even bothered by the fact that I looked like a stark raving lunatic and barged my way into the bathroom.

Eventually I composed myself enough to go to class and I don't know if I was more heartbroken or grateful that Edward wasn't there.

I was sitting in the cafeteria with Angela picking apart my sandwich and throwing the pieces on the tray instead of eating it when I heard some whispers that weren't really whispers because they were still really freaking loud, but some underclassmen said "Oh my God, that can't be true! Is Edward Cullen even absent today?"

My mouth dropped open as I looked over to them.

"I'm sorry can I help you?" The snotty red head said to me.

"Yeah, actually you can. If you're gonna whisper than you might want to do it quietly instead of just a raspy yell and as a matter of fact Edward _is_ absent today." I was beyond shitty and Angela was staring at me like my hair was on fire, actually so were all of the other girls including the girl I just got shitty with. I just glared at her until finally her staring stopped and she waved a hand at me.

"Oh, I didn't mean to sound like that we're just trying to figure out if our friend is a liar or not." She smiled at me having thought better of yelling at a senior even though I wasn't threatening at all beyond my harsh words.

"Well, I bet Bella could help you, you know her and Edward are friends." Angela smiled and gave me a sideways glance to which I glared back thinking _'you hooker'_.

"Oh, you are?" The girl, I guess her friend just called her Vicky, asked incredulously

"Yes, we have almost all of the same classes and we were lab partners last year so we talk occasionally." I had to put all my effort into smiling and acting like I didn't want to cry and/or murder Edward Cullen in his sleep.

"Hmm, well according to the text we just got, our friend Chelsea just left the movie theatre with Edward and even sucked him off, but we thought she was just making the whole thing up." I almost bit a hole right through my damn cheek when she said that. I kept my clenched fists under the table and tried to look nonchalant.

"Yeah, well that sounds like Edward a different girl every week." I shrugged my shoulders like 'no big deal' and started to get up with my tray. They nodded in agreement and went back to their 'private' conversation.

Angela followed me as I dumped my food and ran into the bathroom for the second time today. We went into the biggest stall and I broke down in tears. Angela gently put her arm around me and told me how sorry she was.

"He had me so fooled. I can't believe I started to buy into all the crap he told me. I'm such an idiot!" I yelled.

"No, you're not Bella. I believed it too. When he ordered those flowers for you I really thought he was sincere. He has never ordered flowers from us before ever."

"Great, we're both idiots then!" I screeched between sobs.

She gave up on trying to convince me that I wasn't an idiot for believing a lying piece of shit because it really was pointless. I had talked to Angela the Monday after I got the flowers and she told me that she was the one that took the order at her parents' flower store and how funny he was when he ordered them saying that he wanted a stuffed animal because 'chicks dig that shit'. I suppose he _is_ the resident expert on what chicks _dig_…asshole.

I pulled myself together, not wanting to cry over the jerk anymore and after I splashed some water on my face I went to class.

I felt so sick to my stomach over the mistake I made. I suppose it was inevitable for me to regret this and see it as the mistake it had always been. All of my fighting against it was futile and here I lay on my desk drowning in regret and self loathing. The English teacher ignored me knowing that I had read the book they were discussing already, actually 5 times, and that I could sleep the rest of the semester and still get an A.

Before my last class I called Jacob since his school gets out earlier and started crying my eyes out. I begged him to pick me up because I didn't feel like driving and I felt like I was going to start screaming and crying in the next class.

He told me he would pick me up and I told him I would be out front waiting for him since I knew I could get out of US History early because the teacher would think I was in the library working on a research paper.

I was standing outside waiting for Jake when I saw him pull into the parking lot on his motorcycle. Of course he couldn't have driven his car, no that would just be too logical for him. I ran off the sidewalk and into the parking lot so he barely had to stop and once I jumped on we were quickly on our way.

We got to the stoplight and Jake was watching the traffic so he would know when to turn. I was staring off in the opposite direction, but I could see my reflection in a storefront window and I had an overwhelming feeling of shame and I quickly turned my head. As soon as I did my eyes were locked with Edward's and I was filled with a feeling of vengeance and I'm sure I got a look of utter disdain on my face, but the arrogant prick was smiling at me. I leaned my head against Jacob while I held onto him tighter with one arm so I could lift my other. I flipped him off with a devilish smirk on my face and then we sped away.

"Bella, who in the hell are you flipping off?" Jacob asked while looking at me in his rear view mirror.

"Who do you think?"

"Oh" was all he said.

We pulled up to my house and I was giving Jake my keys so he could run up to the school and get my truck. It wasn't very far and Jake was into all that jogging and running crap that I would break my neck if I tried doing.

My back was to the road, but when Jacob asked if Edward drove a silver Volvo I started to get tears in my eyes as I nodded 'yes'. Jacob got an angry look on his face and put his hand on my cheek to wipe the tears away, but after a second his hand slipped over my mouth like he was going to abduct me and didn't want me to scream, but he had this look that said 'don't panic' and then he pulled me towards him with his other arm and kissed me or rather, his hand. My eyes got so wide, but Jacob's were closed.

All I heard was screeching tires and I pushed Jacob away.

"What the hell was all that about!"

"I don't know he flipped you off and I got mad so I thought maybe you would want to make him jealous. I personally would rather punch him in the face, but didn't think your father would appreciate me doing that in his yard."

"Yeah, well maybe he was flipping you off!" Jacob often had that effect on people and actually I had the urge to give him the middle finger right now.

"Why would he do that when you're the one that flipped him off like 3 minutes ago?" Okay, that was true, but did I really want to make Edward jealous? Was _I_ jealous?

I was angry, hurt, and ashamed. I felt stupid and dirty and yeah, I guess I was jealous. That would explain the uncontrollable desire I had to gouge out someone's eyes and tear out their hair when I had never even met them before. As far as Edward is concerned it was pure rage. The bodily harm I wanted to cause him, or namely his balls, was entirely justified. Well, it was in my mind since, for the time being, I was ignoring the annoying voice in my head that was saying _"I told you so stupid, this is what you get."_

"Yeah Jake, I don't care. I doubt that it'll make him jealous though." He gave me a curious look.

"Then why was he driving by?"

"I don't know Kelsey is probably my neighbor or something knowing my luck." I wanted to call her a whore or a bitch, but if I did I would've felt hypocritical and hateful since I didn't even know her, so I just settled on calling her the wrong name.

"Oh, is that _her_ name?" I shrugged my shoulders and went in the house with my head hung low in defeat.

Jake left to get my truck for me and when he got back I had a sandwich waiting for him. I sat at the table, but I didn't feel like saying anything and he knew not to push. After he gladly took the sandwich and thanked me he ate quietly. I sat in front of him watching the beads of water roll down the outside of his glass, occasionally reaching out and squashing one with my finger.

He told me that he was supposed to meet his friends Quil and Embry, but he would call to cancel if I didn't want to be alone. I wasn't sure what I wanted, aside from the ball kicking I mentioned earlier, so I assured him I would be fine.

I took a shower and sat under the stream of hot water and let it rain on me as if that would cleanse me. I just sat there and cried until the water turned cold and I got out.

I put on my pajamas and a robe and went straight to bed. Charlie yelled something up at me, but I told him I didn't feel well and that I was going to sleep.

I crawled under my blankets, my hair still wet and my body feeling exhausted, and I fell asleep hoping with every last piece of me that I would not dream of Edward.

**A/N -**

**Sorry if you're choking on the irony *hands you a stiff drink***

**The part where Jessica is talking about foreign objects and boffing some guy and not even knowing his name comes from a girl I knew in high school. (yeah she was a real gem)**

**Sure it's just a dream lemon, but it's a lemon all the same :)**

**Betward I will protect, but if you want to kick Mike in the balls for saying 'fag' then have at it *Betward holds him down for you***

**Jacob knows about Bella's underwear because he's been at her house while she was doing laundry before, he doesn't actually go through her underwear drawer, but the explanation didn't really fit into the dialogue.**

**When Jake and Bella leave the Pizza Palace they didn't 'dine and ditch' it's the kind of place where you pay first and then get your food at the counter or someone brings it to you (we have pizza places like that here). Just thought I'd address that before I got a weird comment about it.**

**Reviews are awesome and if you leave one I will send you a preview of the next chapter. **


	8. Chapter 8 The Calamity

**Disclaimer - I do not own anything Twilight. I own Betward, Prego Bella, and Chelsea (big woop) **

**A/N - I love all the readers**** and my awesome beta/friend lulu****! I want to give a big shout out to the readers I have in non-English speaking countries because I can barely read any other languages let alone make sense of it and I know I have several, so you guys rock! You all rock, I can't believe we're over 100 reviews!!!**

**As far as the sequel - This story will not be left hanging. It will end approx. 1 yr from where it started and the sequel will pick up from there. (at least that's what I'm seeing now)**

**Who hates Chelsea? Yeah, she blows! (ha ha punny), but she serves my purpose. Edward and Bella just aren't able to be together easily (just like Twilight) and they have to overcome some things before they can be happy. **

**BIG NEWS!!! I just found out that The Bet has been nominated for a Sparkle Award for Best Cullen Romance! If you want to check out all the nominated stories here's the link and voting starts 10/16. (put real dots where it says dot) www(dot)thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot)com**

**So who wants Bella to find out she's prego???**

***Starts right where we left off**

**Chapter 8**

**The Calamity**

**EPOV**

I was at the top of an old maple tree praying that, since I had fallen off the wagon and ruined my few days of sobriety, I wouldn't also fall out of this fucking tree.

I leapt out of the tree making it the short distance from the tree to the roof above the porch. I landed with a thud, and I froze in the crouching position I landed in just hoping that the porch light wouldn't come on and a man with a gun appear. Once I decided it was safe, I proceeded to scurry up to the window that was at the top. I was fairly certain it was Bella's window given the pastel, girly color of the curtains. So, I was hoping two different things here. One, that this was not Chief Swan's room instead and the other that Bella was alone and by alone I mean not getting it on with that assface Jacob that she was making out with earlier. Since there was no sign of him in the driveway I felt that he was the least of my worries, man with gun being the greater.

I looked into the window and I could see just enough through the slits of the curtains to see her. Bella was asleep in her bed and her brown hair was all around her in a crazy disarray of tangled beauty. Sleeping Bella, indeed.

I told myself that after I got a look of her I would leave, but I couldn't and the next thing I knew I was opening the window. After a minute of prying it open I stuck my head through the curtains to make sure I wouldn't knock anything down or break my neck climbing in and that's when I heard her voice and I nearly pissed myself. How would I ever explain peeping into her window and breaking into her house?

"Edward, how could you do this to me?"

I never felt such sadness in my heart as I did when I heard the misery in her voice when she spoke those words. I opened my mouth to reply, but then I noticed she was still asleep. I backed out the window never feeling so ashamed in my whole life and thought if I fell to my death trying to get down from this damn roof it would serve me right. I knew if I did in fact fall my punishment probably would be a more fitting one, I would probably live but be paralyzed or disfigured.

It started raining and miraculously, or maybe unfortunately, I did not plummet to my death. I landed on the ground unscathed, well visibly unscathed anyway. I stood there unable to move and let the rain soak me and yes I cried. I stood there willing the rain to wash away my tears and my guilt, but it was only successful with one. I fell to my knees and let the cold rain wash over my face as my heart rumbled with each roll of thunder.

I was probably the worst thing that had ever happened to Bella. Well, not probably, I was the worst thing that had ever happened to Bella and after hearing her voice I could no longer deny that fact.

***

I was sitting in my seat in math class looking down at the most freaky thing I've ever seen in my whole life. It was a note covered in lipstick kisses, perfume, and hearts. It went on to say something about a one month anniversary. Anniversary of fucking what? Sucking my dick in public? Sure, I may not have been as clear on the subject as I should've been, but there's a saying, much better than the one about birds and stones, that says actions speak louder than words. Well, apparently this bitch is deaf.

I was scarcely ever sober around her, our going out usually consisted of some trivial place where I could get a hand and/or blow job before, during, or after, I only kissed her on the mouth when she practically forced me to…well, not practically she did force me, and I never fucked the bitch. It was tempting in the way that I was drunk and horny, but I have yet to drink enough alcohol to seriously consider that shit.

Last hour, World Civilization, I walked into the library to get a book on a landmark that I still had to choose for a report due next week. My heart sped up when I saw Bella sitting at the table with a few other girls. She was looking down as she wrote on a piece of paper that was sitting on her open book. She looked beautiful. I didn't often let myself look at her long enough to appreciate her beauty because I didn't deserve too, but on second thought perhaps I did because seeing her like this was pure torture. Her brown hair cascading down her shoulders resting on the sides of her breasts which happen to be popping out of her fucking shirt. I don't think I've ever seen Bella dress like this before. It was far from the sleazy shit that girls wore here everyday. It was a striped thermal that was green and grey that buttoned down at the neck and all of the buttons were undone and I could see the tops of her bare breasts and the edge of a blue bra. It was the same color as the underwear that she had wore, until I tore them off, the last time we had sex. I felt myself getting aroused thinking that she must have the matching underwear on too.

I started to walk towards her thinking that since so much time had gone by that maybe we could talk casually like we had before. That was a lie I didn't think that at all, I missed her. I barely knew her, but I fucking missed her and I was going to go act like I was just being casual and friendly or some shit.

"Hey Bella, what are you doing?"

"Acrobatics" She said completely serious and I gave a fake laugh for the sake of the other girls listening because although I actually did find the sarcastic shit she said funny, at this moment I just found it highly annoying. She let out a sigh and said "I'm writing a paper on the electoral college for US History, but I'm also using it as my persuasive paper in English so, I'm killing two birds with one stone." she was still writing fervently.

"Have you ever thought about how stupid that saying is? I mean there's plenty of rocks to throw one at each bird and that's only if you don't have a fucking gun to shoot them with and why the hell do you want to kill so many birds anyway…" I was just rambling, but she didn't seem to notice.

"It means greater result with less work. You know work smarter not harder?" How did she always do that? She could hum a song from the 1800's or explain a stupid saying and impress me.

"Are you sure you won't get in trouble for using the same paper?" I teased knowing that Bella never got in trouble and that's why she had cried like a baby when we got sent to the office. Besides her crying I liked to think of that day, we had kissed -. I had to stop thinking about that shit.

"I got permission first and it's not like they're going to be verbatim ." She said flatly. Fuck me, she was using Lain terms too? Maybe I should just turn around and run. Of course I didn't, I just shook my head at her.

"You always do the right thing, Bella."

"Not always" She said remorsefully and it pained me to hear it. I knew she would regret the shit that happened between us, but I wanted to believe that she wouldn't. I actually did take solace in the shit she told me about not ever wanting to regret it. She didn't want to be with me and have shit ruined, but look how badly shit was ruined now!

"Fuck Bella, that's shitty!" This got her attention her eyes shot up at me and were filled with fury.

"Once again I apologize that me doing my homework has inconvenienced you and you're one to fucking talk why don't you go bother Kelsey!"

"It's Chelsea!" Wait, why the fuck did I care what she called her?

"Yeah, Casey, whatever bye!"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your fascinating argument, but can you be quiet I'm trying to do my homework!" Jessica screeched and instantly Bella's head snapped towards her and she spoke before I could even get my mouth opened.

"Fuck you, Jessica." Bella growled at her.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I've had to listen to you go on about fucking strangers in the back of your car that you probably couldn't even pick out of a line up, giving BJ's in the school parking lot, and letting some guy shove a hot dog up your cooch! So if I burden you for one second with a conversation that I didn't even want to have in the first place then I'm fucking glad. If you don't like it you can go back to class and jerk Mike off under the table like you usually do, whore!"

Jessica's face turned bright red and she ran out of the library probably crying. Lauren was still sitting there with a shocked look on her face, but then shrugged her shoulders because I suppose what could one really say about the truth? She gathered her and Jessica's books and left. On her way out she passed the librarian who was obliviously pushing a cart full of books into the library.

My attention was brought back to Bella as she was packing up her books with her shaking hands.

"Bella, are you okay? That was the funniest shit ever!" Jessica is a dirty whore, but hearing Bella tell her off like that was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

"I have to go" Her shaking voice matching her hands.

"Wait, please help me find a book. I have to choose a landmark for a report and I don't want to ask the librarian." I sounded desperate, because I was, and I pointed behind me where the librarian was standing and when we both turned to look at her she was picking something out of her teeth. Bella looked back at me, her face showing no emotion, as she walked towards one of the shelves.

I scurried behind her and watched as she ran her fingers along the spines of the books, stopped to pull one out, and turned around to push it against my chest. Then she just walked away. Just like old times I thought more nostalgically than sarcastically.

I looked down at the book reading the title aloud.

"Washington Monument?"

She just kept walking, but a smile spread across my face. This has to be the largest phallic symbol in the world a fact that clearly wouldn't have escaped her, since I don't think any fact does.

"Nice choice!" I called after her and she finally turned around, but she looked rather pissed, like maybe I should use the book to shield my phallic symbol.

"Ugh, I swear Edward the biggest thing on you is your ego!" She got right up to my face so she could whisper, but it still sounded menacing. "I think _you're_ the huge cock. You're a fucking prick Edward Cullen and a fucking dickhead so why don't you let me 'stick by my decision' and fuck off!"

She had made air quotes and cussed like a sailor and I would be lying if I said I wasn't turned on by it. I ignored the fact that she was calling me names, because I deserved it, and I replayed the image of the way her lips moved while they formed the dirty words and the way her voice sounded while saying words like cock and dick.

I checked out my book and got ready to leave school for the day.

Alice and I went to the gas station after school where she apparently _did_ need me to pump her gas. I was staring off into space when I saw Bella and Jacob drive past in a small car. I told myself I didn't care which I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have to be repeating in my head right now if it were actually true.

**BPOV**

I was crying while leaning on the door of Jake's car. I had told Jake about everything that happened in the library. Edward walking up to me like everything was peachy keen, me yelling at Jessica for being a whore, and of course screaming in Edward's face calling him several different synonyms for penis. I couldn't help it I was so angry at him. He had used me and then ran off with _that _tramp and then walks up to me like I'm his personal freaking librarian, but that's wasn't all. The biggest cause of my resentment towards Edward was for not using a condom. If he wanted to be a manwhore then fine, but did he have to pull me down with him into the depths of infestation? Yes, I was angry at myself too, but right now I just wanted to be angry at him. In my mind it was completely his fault that I was a worried mess going to a stupid clinic.

I had worried about it for days and days until I finally told Jacob about it. I knew he was disappointed, but he was trying to be supportive. I told him I wanted to get tested to make sure I didn't have any diseases and he told me where I should make an appointment. I know Edward claimed to be clean, but he claimed a lot of things.

We got to the clinic and he knew I was nervous. Jacob had known me long enough to know that I didn't do well with blood and needles since they were usually extracting blood.

He had his arm around me when we walked in because I felt like I was going to fall over. I freaked out when they said Jacob couldn't go with me and they let him stay so I could bury my face into him and squeeze his hand while the drew blood.

Some of the tests they ran didn't take very long because they were done in the lab that was in the same building, but others, namely the HIV test, had to be sent to another lab. We sat in a room waiting and I was staring at a magazine that made it look like I was actually reading it and shaking my foot like crazy.

After awhile a woman in a lab coat came in with a chart, presumably mine, and was flipping through it while she walked in. I had been waiting forever and there wasn't 2 minutes that she could have looked at it out there instead of right now?

I was shaking more and Jacob had gotten up to wrap his arms around me.

"Well, mostly everything looks fine.." the bitch was still looking at the damn chart and what hell kind of intro is 'mostly everything' that means _not_ everything, that means there's something that is wrong. Something is wrong.

"Oh my god." I whispered and Jacob grasped my hand.

"Oh, no Miss Swan. You tested negative for everything that we tested for today except your pregnancy test came back positive."

I started laughing. That was the one thing I was absolutely not worried about and _that _was the one thing that came back positive.

"That's impossible. There's something wrong with the test." I said with complete certainty.

"No, it was a blood test and it's very accurate."

"No, it's obviously not because I'm not pregnant! Maybe you mixed something up, but this isn't possible!"

"Miss Swan, nothing got mixed up our only other patient at the same time as you is male and even so-"

"Well, then alert the fucking presses because that guy is the one that's having the baby not me" Oh my god, _baby_. It had just been the word pregnant before, but yeah that meant a baby…no this wasn't happening.

"I'm sorry, but you had unprotected sex so that does put you at risk for pregnancy."

"No, _I'm_ sorry because it says right there in that goddamned chart you've had your nose stuck in that I'm on birth control!"

"Yes, but when did you start the birth control?"

"Shortly before my birthday so September 10th"

"And when did you have unprotected sex?" If I wasn't about ready to hyperventilate I would probably be extremely embarrassed by this conversation next to Jake.

"September 25th and 29th"

"And what was the date of your last menstrual cycle?"

"Um, I don't know. It's very irregular that's why I started the birth control in the first place."

"Well, then I guess that's why it wasn't explained to you that this specific brand of birth control is not effective until you've been on it for four weeks."

I started crying because at that moment I knew it was true. I was pregnant with Edward's baby. Oh my God, what was I going to do?

The nurse, doctor, whatever the hell she was walked over and patted me on the back. I lifted my head from Jake's shoulder and listened to the rest of what she was supposed to tell me.

"Here are some pamphlets about your various options. This one has all of the clinic locations and -"

She opened the brochure that had 'ABORTION' written across the front in big letters and I know my face blanched. Jacob snatched it out of her hand and threw it across the room with a flick of his wrist. He knew me, that I couldn't make that decision. When we were 9 I cried for hours because Jake killed a spider, just a stupid spider and then when I got my driver's license and hit a squirrel I was completely hysterical. It was a decision that was right for some people, but I knew in my heart it wasn't right for me.

"She won't need that" he growled at the lady. She ignored him and handed me the rest, leaving the other one on the floor in the corner of the room where it had landed.

We were sitting in the car in silence on the way home. I was told to stop taking my birth control pills immediately, duh, and make a doctor's appointment as soon as possible. According to the dates I had given her I was 6 weeks pregnant. This was not how this trip was supposed to go. I guess it could've gone worse, but in this moment it didn't feel like it.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I'm going to go to the store tonight and get vitamins and then tomorrow I'm going to make that's doctor's appointment."

"I mean about the baby…and Edward?"

"Well, you should know that I'm going to keep the baby and as far as Edward goes I have no clue."

"Are you going to tell him today?" I gasped like he just asked me to get naked or something. "What Bella you're going to have to tell him sooner or later."

"Yeah, well I vote for later." He gave me a scolding look. "I'm serious. I'm so scared that something is going to go wrong. I've been taking those stupid pills all this time and what if something happens?!" I was crying again and Jacob was rubbing my leg trying to calm me down while he drove. "When my aunt was pregnant she never told anyone until the second trimester because she was afraid something would go wrong."

"Yeah Bella, but the father isn't usually included with the people that aren't told. He does deserve to know."

"Jacob, I just found out give me a couple days to think." I knew I wasn't going to change my mind I didn't want to tell Edward and then have something go wrong. I was already terrified that I hurt the baby with the birth control pills. What if something happened and it would be all my fault? Fresh tears started to fall and Jake pulled over and listened to my whining sobs until I finally calmed down.

I had been so upset about the whole Edward thing that I completely ignored what my body was trying to tell me. I had thrown up a couple of times, but I chalked it up to nerves or that stinky, damn fish that Charlie always wants me to cook and the fact that my boobs were falling out of my shirt. If I didn't unbutton it then they probably would've torn the damn thing like the hulk. I just thought that I had gotten lucky and my boobs weren't done growing after all. So much for luck.

I made my doctor's appointment, cursed the birth control as I threw them in the trash, and took my pre-natal vitamins religiously.

I had begged Jacob to go with me to my appointment that would be my two month check up, but actually my first appointment. He told me I should ask Edward go and the very thought terrified me. What if he didn't want to go or what if something was wrong? Miscarriages happen all the time and I was so afraid that I would tell him and then I would lose the baby. He would blame me and hate me even more.

I sobbed and sobbed over the phone with Jake telling him that I would tell Edward and my dad when I was past the first trimester. He yelled in disbelief that I hadn't told my dad yet, but I didn't want to open that can of worms until absolutely necessary. He agreed with that part of my reasoning.

Jacob was my best friend and in the end I knew he wouldn't make me go alone. He sat next to me in the waiting room and after being disgusted by several articles, or perhaps it was more the pictures, in the magazines he finally found a pile of magazines that were more designed for the male gender meaning they lacked words like _vaginal birth _and _breast feeding_.

Everything went great at the appointment. I heard the baby's heartbeat and I cried so hard. I didn't know such a simple sound could make me so happy or relieved. The doctor, Dr. Robertson, eased most of my fears, but I couldn't help to still worry. I was still getting sick a lot which meant I wasn't gaining much weight yet, but she said it was still early in the pregnancy and it was normal so she gave me some handouts about bland foods and tips like smaller meals to help with being nauseous. I made another appointment for the next month which I told Jacob that if everything went fine with I would tell people, meaning Edward and Charlie, and he just nodded at me.

At school I avoided Edward at every cost. I couldn't look at him because I was afraid that I would start crying or blurt out that I was pregnant. I knew I should tell him, but I was scared and I convinced myself I was protecting him, but in reality I think I was protecting myself and just being a coward.

I was almost three months, today was my second appointment with Dr. Robertson, and I still getting sick a lot. I wasn't gaining much weight and I was worried that my vitamins were coming up too soon after I took them. At least my stomach was getting bigger. I was wearing baggier clothes, but it wasn't a big deal since it was nearing the end of December and it was common for people to wear layers and sweaters which would've been impossible when I lived in Phoenix. Today was actually the last day before Christmas break or I guess they call it 'Winter Break' now, whatever.

Jacob was already out of school so he agreed to take me this last time. I got to school a little early and let Ms. Cope know that I would be leaving early for a doctor's appointment and handed her a very well forged note supposedly from Charlie. I made my way to class and slid into my seat waiting for the first bell to ring and started to read my book. I was so glad that this was the last day of school for three weeks.

**EPOV**

I hadn't seen Bella in a few weeks. Sure, I saw her in the hallway and the back of her head was still in clear view in class, but I didn't really get a good look at her until I walked into first hour and I couldn't look away.

Bella's face was dull and extremely gaunt. Her eyes were sunken in and the surrounding skin had a purplish tint like that of bruises. She had on baggy clothes which I guess she had been wearing lately, but I hadn't thought much of it until now. I watched her take of her sweater off and hang it on the back of her chair. I took in the sight of her bony arms as they rested on the table and held her book. She looked like hell and I don't know why I hadn't noticed sooner. The baggy clothes, the weight loss - what the hell was she doing to herself and how could I have been so fucking blind?

I went straight towards her without hesitation. She kept reading her book and completely ignored that I was standing in front of her. After waiting for a moment I knelt down and whispered to her even though there was no one around her I was still trying to be quiet.

"Bella, what's the matter, are you ok?"

"No, I'm being attacked by aliens, but thank God you're here to save me." In true smart ass, Bella form it was completely monotone and she never even looked up at me.

"Bella, I'm serious I'm worried about you."

"Well, it's a little late for that. Run along before Kelsey finds out you're talking to a girl."

"Chelsea" Why the fuck do I do that?

"Get the fuck away from my desk!" She said in a low, angry tone.

"Fine Bella. Starve yourself to death and see if I care!" She finally looked up at me.

"Really? If I'm dead then you're the last person I would see unless I'm haunting you and I really don't see the point in that." and then she shooed me with her hand.

"Fuck, Bella!" I was just worried about her. I had said that entirely too loudly and before Bella had the chance to reply the teacher interrupted us once again.

"The both of you can pay the principal another visit."

This is what I get for trying to have a conversation with this girl. I still had my books in my hands so I turned around to walk out the door, but before I got to the door I heard the teacher's voice.

"You too Miss Swan" he said in an agitated voice since he had clearly stated for both of us to leave.

"No" she declared without missing a beat.

"Pardon me? You disrupted my class with your foul language and arguing so you need to go to the office." His voice was angry and strict and I was waiting for her to start sobbing hysterically.

"No. I was sitting here reading when _Mr. Cullen _came and disrupted _me_. If you weren't so busy with your dirty magazine behind your newspaper then maybe you would've diffused the situation when I told him several times to leave me alone which was before I yelled in _your_ classroom." I was wrong once again not a single tear shed. I leaned to the side to see if in fact he did have a dirty magazine behind the newspaper, but he folded it in his lap before I could get a look. Guilty much?

The teacher quickly turned his gaze at me and pointed for me to leave. Clearly Bella's clever argument did nothing for my obvious guilt.

I waited at the end of the hallway in case she came out to go to the office. The teacher instead sent her out into the hall and he followed behind her momentarily. I heard him say that she could spend the rest of the class time in the library before he went back into the classroom. Clearly he was saving face in front of the other students and as soon as he was back inside she left out the side door. I saw her pull out her cell phone and I wanted to so badly to go out there, but I knew the teacher would call down to the office and if I hadn't appeared I would be in more trouble. After I started down the hall to go to the office I turned around to follow Bella. I was already in trouble so I might as well do it thoroughly.

I opened the door and realized that it wasn't a cell phone that she had pulled out it was an ipod. She sat on the ledge next to the steps leaning against the building and facing in the opposite direction while singing along with the song quietly. I recognized the song, but couldn't place it hearing it sung in Bella's angelic voice so I listened closer.

"_You take the breath right out of me_

_You left a hole where my heart should be_

_You got to fight just to make it through_

'_Cause I will be the death of you"_

I was still standing in the open door and I turned around and walked back in before she could notice me standing there. All the way to the office I heard her voice repeat those words in my head.

**BPOV**

Everything went great at the appointment. I was still having morning sickness which was more like 24/7 sickness, but the baby was doing fine and growing.

On the way back Jake offered to take me to Edward's and I panicked. Of course I hadn't made things any easier on myself today at school when I practically screamed in his face. I admit it was poor thinking on my part, but there really wasn't any thinking to it. He screams in my face one minute and then is super nice the next. His moods were really starting to give me whiplash. I don't even have mood swings like that and I'm the one that's pregnant! I had a serious suspicion that he had some sort of disorder and thought that his father should consider prescribing him something.

I told Jake that he probably wasn't home and that I wanted to wait until after the holiday's so his parents wouldn't be angry and then I would have to tell my dad and he would be beyond angry and then the whole joyous season would be ruined. When Jacob pulled up to the enormous Cullen house I started sobbing until I could barely breathe, but it didn't matter because in fact no one was home.

He apologized for upsetting me so much and said that I would have to tell Edward when winter break was over which I agreed to.

The holidays went by quickly, too quickly, in a blur of cooking and sneaking away to vomit without being conspicuous. Jacob and I hung out several times mainly because Charlie and Billy were together which was fine with me. He distracted Charlie while I was puking up my guts and when they weren't looking I would transfer food from my plate to Jake's which he had no complaint against, but tomorrow was school. I had no idea how many, if any, classes I would have with Edward. It could be none or all and I don't know which terrified me more.

A week had gone by and I still hadn't talked to Edward. I tried, but his sister would be there or her boyfriend Jasper. Sometimes Kelsey would be there not that you could tell by the look on his face it was like he didn't even know she was around when she was there trying to talk to him and hanging all over him. I wonder if I ever looked so pathetic.

I had another appointment today. It was a little early, but I had some tests and blood work that had to be done. I begged Jake to go with me to which he responded that if I had told Edward that he wouldn't need to go. I wasn't so sure about that. What if he totally rejected me and the baby? That's what I was most afraid of and I told Jacob that too while I cried and made a pouty face and that's how it came to be that Jake is taking me to the doctor's one last time…again.

I told him that I would tell Edward after the appointment that he could even drop me off at his house and I would sit on the porch and wait if I had to.

I was supposed to be in study hall, but the teacher never really paid attention so here I stood in front of the glass case that held all of the artwork from the art class. I never took art because I didn't have one artistic bone in my entire body, but I loved to look at it. One piece in particular stood out to me. It was completely void of color and abstract which was nothing like the pictures I usually liked, but I felt like I could relate to this picture. It was like a swirling nothingness of confusion and I liked it. I stared at it whenever I walked down this hallway.

"See anything you like?" Oh for the love of God! I think I almost pissed my pants. Not only was the sexiest, smoothest voice in the world whispering in my ear, but it took me completely by surprise.

"I'm just looking at that drawing. It's my favorite." I said quietly since we were the only two in the hallway.

"The one of the horse mid-gallop?"

"No, that one right there."

"Really, why is that one your favorite?" He asked incredulously.

"I just like, I feel like I can relate I guess."

"Relate to what? It's just a bunch of swirly squiggles."

"No, it's a lot more than that." I said it plainly because I knew most people probably didn't understand it the way I did and I was still staring at it.

"Well, you'll have to do better than that if you want to convince me."

"Who says I want to convince you?" I said with a smile.

"Oh ok, then it's ugly."

"Fine, fine. Ok here I go on my official analysis." I said with a giggle and he smiled at me. It was a beautiful, crooked smile and I got lost in it for a moment. "Alright, I admit that this isn't the usual kind of thing I like because it's non-representational and totally achromatic, but at least it's an abstract that uses organic shapes instead of geometric which I believe is what makes it so beautiful. The shapes give a perception of texture and I also like that the middle is the brightest and the outside is darker. The random movements of the shapes give me the feeling of confusion, but at some point it gets brighter like hope." I finished and took my eyes of the drawing and looked up at Edward eagerly awaiting approval like a little puppy, but he just stood there with his mouth agape.

"You're a fucking genius Bella." He blurted out and I frowned at him.

"You don't have to make fun of me, I don't care if you agree or not." I started to feel tears in my eyes because lately I cried at the drop of a hat. Literally, I dropped my hat in a puddle and I cried for an hour about it.

"Bella, I'm serious. I don't know what I was expecting you to say because quite frankly there's no telling what witty thing will come out of your mouth next and I really shouldn't be surprised because you're so fucking smart, but shit you never cease to amaze me."

He was smiling and so was I. He was rubbing my arm gently like he knew I was almost ready to cry, but I had completely forgotten about that and I was just focusing on the warm sensation where is hand was.

"I'm sorry about the other day. I hope I didn't get you into trouble." I was only kind of sorry, but I was trying to make amends before we had our big discussion.

"I'm sorry too Bella and I get myself into trouble." He smiled again and rubbed my arm one more time before moving his hand back into his pocket leaving my arm tingling and longing for his touch.

"Um Edward, do you think we can talk later? You know after school."

"Really?" He sounded shocked, but I wasn't sure if it was in a good way or a bad way.

"Well, if you're not busy or um-"

"No, that would be cool." He said it with such enthusiasm I actually felt hopeful and a part of me felt bad because of what I had to tell him. I shouldn't feel bad because this was his responsibility too.

The bell had rang, but we really hadn't noticed until the hallway was flooded with people all around us.

"Hey, Edward!" The most annoying voice in the world called out and then she wrapped her arms around him. "What are you doing?" She was trying to sound friendly, but I just wanted to puncture my own eardrums with my pencil.

"We're looking at a drawing." He said flatly while he removed her arms from his waist and gave her a scolding look.

"Oh, I love the horsey one, he's so cute!" Yes, she said horsey and if I wasn't so stunned I'd probably be laughing my ass off.

"No, we're looking at that one."

"Ew, why? It's so dark and ugly." we both shook our heads.

"Well, I better go to lunch" before I puke here and now from listening to the garbage coming out of this girl's mouth.

"Bye Bella" he said with a smile and I smiled back completely oblivious to the moron standing next to him and I walked away.

**EPOV**

I stood there watching her walk away. She still looked like shit like she had an eating disorder, but she was still beautiful.

"What!? That's Bella, _that's_ fucking Bella?" Chelsea screeched. I guess in my continuous, drunken state of mind the name thing posed more of a problem and I admit that on more than one occasion it may have slipped, but she ignored it…until now.

It was my turn to ignore her. I stared at the painting, which in fact was titled Confusion, because it meant all the things Bella had said it did. When I drew it I let all my feelings of confusion out. "You really don't like that drawing?"

"Edward seriously-" I stared at her like 'why the fuck aren't you answering my question' and it worked.

"No, I don't. I think it's ugly and stupid just like the little, bulimic girl you were drooling over."

"For one she is not ugly or stupid, not that you're smart enough to know that, and she's not bulimic." Ok, for the record I thought she was anorexic and she very well could be bulimic, but if Chelsea was saying it then I would defend her against it.

"Well, if you think so much of her then why don't you go out with her then!"

"Ok" was all I said before I walked away and Chelsea followed behind me stammering about God knows what.

I had chose Chelsea because she reminded me of Bella, but really she was nothing at all like Bella. No one was and that's who I would rather be with if I couldn't be with her…no one.

I just can't believe it took me this long to realize it. Especially after the other day when Chelsea came to school wearing a Wizard of Oz t-shirt that was entirely too small, but I guess that was the point, but her big tits just distorted the characters faces. At lunch I had sat next to her, or rather she intruded on Alice, Jasper and I who happened to have the same lunch this semester and sat next to me. I traced my finger on her stomach where the ruby slippers were and asked her if she knew that Judy Garland had sung The Battle Hymn of the Republic after President Kennedy had been shot. She didn't know who or what any of those things were. After that Jasper and I had a conversation on the lone gunman and other theories surrounding JFK's assassination and Chelsea talked to Alice about the pro's and con's of acrylic nails opposed to real nails. Yeah, she should've gotten her walking papers a long time ago.

When I finally got to the cafeteria, sans chesty Chels, Alice was giving me a questioning look as soon as I stepped foot through the doors.

"So, you finally dumped the bimbo?" She asked as I took my usual seat and she took a bite of her salad, but I knew it wasn't really a question.

"Something that was long overdue" I replied as I stole a few of Jasper's fries.

They just nodded their heads which I appreciated because I was well aware that that was a gross understatement.

"So, you haven't seen Bella have you?" I asked Alice as nonchalant as possible, but I was scanning the cafeteria like an owl flying over a field.

"She already left. I'm sure she's revisiting her lunch in the bathroom."

I left without saying another word. I had my suspicions that she had a problem, but I wasn't aware that everyone else knew about it too or even knew more than I did. Well, Alice knowing more than me, especially when it comes to things about people, is nothing new, but I had doubted that there was one bit of information in the world that Chelsea was aware of that I wasn't.

I walked down the hall and saw her walking out the door. I shouted "Bella wait!", but she didn't hear me and the door shut behind her with a loud thud.

I ran out and caught up to her on the sidewalk. Not thinking I grabbed her jacket sleeve and she partially turned around, but was mostly being pulled by me. I let go when I saw the shocked look on her face.

"Bella, where are you going?" I asked out of breath.

"I'm leaving for the day, but I'll talk to you later ok?" She sounded nervous and then I saw why. Jacob came up behind her.

"Is everything ok here?" He asked in his deep, stupid voice.

"Yeah, is everything ok here Bella?" She didn't know what to say.

"I've got to go and I don't want an argument with Kelsey." She took off and got into her piece of crap of a truck. She had a worried look on her face, but I turned my attention back to Jacob.

"Chelsea" I mumbled and then cursed myself because I have an odd compulsion to correct shit that doesn't matter. "Jacob what's going on here?"

"I have to go, but Bella will talk to you later. She'll tell you everything." He was trying to sound reassuring, but I didn't know if I wanted to know everything except there was one thing I was already sure of.

"I already know." I said flatly.

"You do? Did she tell you?"

"No, but it's obvious just look at her." I motioned with my hand and he actually did turn and look at her, but he had a confused look on her face and she still had the horrified look like she was watching a train wreck. He shrugged his shoulders and I was infuriated because she obviously needed help.

"Jacob, there are plenty of places that treat eating disorders. She can get the help she needs." For a brief moment it looked as if he was going to laugh at me and it pissed me off.

"This is her conversation to have with you and this isn't the time or place. I don't want to make problems between you and Kelsey either or should I say Chelsea?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't give a fuck what you call the bitch." Finally I said it.

"Really? You say that now, but what if she was standing behind you?"

"Like I said I don't give a shit about that bitch, she was just a mistake."

"Oh, well she _is_ right behind you." He said in a way that almost sounded like he felt sorry for me and he was fast to leave after that.

Chelsea was in front of me in a split second where she proceeded to smack me across the face and scream something that I didn't even care to discern. It didn't take long for Alice to be in the middle of us threatening, and I directly quote, to knock Chelsea the fuck out, which seemed highly unlikely when you looked at Alice, but if you heard her voice you wouldn't doubt her either.

I waited for hours after school and I didn't hear from Bella. Did she change her mind or decide that she didn't want to talk to me? All of the questions in my head were driving me mad.

I left the empty house at about 9pm. I didn't know where I was going, but it didn't really matter.

Alice was with Jasper and my father and step-mother had gone out to dinner in the city. It was Friday and I was the only one home, sitting here like an idiot waiting for someone who would never show. The sitting here alone part was nothing new and I guess the idiot part really wasn't either.

I drove past her house and I noticed that Jacob's car was there. The same one I saw her in a couple of months ago. I accelerated and went as fast as I could to get away from there. The next thing I realize I was knocking on Mike's door. He answered the door looking disheveled and high out of his fucking mind. His parents were never here. They owned a chain of sporting goods stores and traveled for business all the time. It wasn't all business of course they hated this small, dismal town as much as anyone else, but they didn't care that they left their son here. The only difference now was that he no longer required a nanny, not that he wouldn't have benefited from some supervision. I was still looking at his incoherent face and it looked rather comfortable and then I knew why I had come here.

"Hey Mike, I'm sorry to bother you so late, but you still owe me some money and-" It was true that he still owed me money, but I had never really had any intention to come and collect even now that wasn't exactly what I was doing.

"Oh yeah dude, listen I have some people over, but catch me tomorrow and I'll even up with you." He could barely get the words out and I could hear the music that was coming from the large staircase in front of the door at the top I knew was Mike's room. I hadn't been here very many times because Mike is a douche, but he threw some kick ass parties.

"No, that's not what I meant. I wasn't interested in monetary payment if you know what I mean."

Surprisingly he did know what I meant and he welcomed me in with a pat on the back. Mike was almost tolerable when he was fucked up and I followed him up the fancy stairs.

**A/N - **

"**Falling of the Wagon" - failing to stay sober**

**Phallic Symbol - something that looks like a penis**

**Baby's heartbeat - yeah, it was probably a couple of weeks too early, but we're going to pretend it wasn't **

**Sans - coolest word ever (without)**

**Bella's Song - Breath, Breaking Benjamin (it's on my playlist if you're on cafemom)**

**So sorry for the wait, but ****n****ext Chapter will be a lot quicker I promise.**

**Trying to keep my notes short, but if you have any questions just let me know! :)**

**Reviews are better than Edward finding out about the baby next chapter…well, **_**I **_**think so.**


	9. Chapter 9 The Pronouncement

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. I own Betward *leads him away on a leash***

**A/N - I think it's safe to say that we are all very happy that Kelsey…I mean Chelsea is gone, but we have yet to give her a proper goodbye *laughs diabolically*.**

**Edward's picture was something that I actually found, but when I tried to go back and find the link I couldn't find it again. I'm in an art appreciation class so that was me putting my vocab to good use, lol.**

**These two chapters (9&10) are what I would call the height of the story so please don't OD on the drama because I promise the light at the end of the tunnel is visible…wait, no that's a train…ha ha just kidding. :)**

**I'm not even gonna lie, I almost cried, ok twice, so you've been warned. **

**Chapter 9**

**The Pronouncement **

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe that Edward had followed me outside when I was leaving school today. Maybe I should've just told him then and there and I seriously considered it, but when I saw Kelsey standing behind him looking particularly angry and dangerous I left. When we were driving away I saw her smack him I wanted to kill the fucking bitch.

Jacob told me what Edward had said about her. Part of me was glad that he thought of her as a mistake and another hoped so hard that he didn't think of me in that way. It didn't seem like he did, not yet anyway.

Everything went fine at the doctor's appointment and the lab would call if anything was wrong, but everything had been going really well. Jacob wasn't sure about dropping me off at the Cullen's since Edward had seemed so angry earlier and had grabbed my coat sleeve, but I told Jacob that Edward would never hurt me. Jacob was too overprotective for that and he was afraid that Chelsea would be there and start trouble too. He said it would be better if I drove myself and then I could leave when I wanted to, but he still insisted on following me there and making sure everything was ok before he left.

When we got to my house both of our dads were there getting ready to watch a game. Charlie asked if I had went to the grocery store like I had agreed to a couple of days ago and I told him it completely slipped my mind, but I would go now. He was acting kind of weird and it made me so nervous. I never took my coat off and I grabbed the amended grocery list and got out of the house as quickly as possible. Jacob had no desire to be left with Charlie not knowing what possible questions he could get so he quickly followed behind mumbling something about helping me.

Maybe I was overreacting about my father. He shouldn't have found out yet. I had taken care of everything with the insurance company since I'm the one that pays the co-pays and generally any other household bill. I didn't really think anyone else was becoming suspicious and I was always careful to buy my pre-natal vitamins in Port Angeles. I think I was just feeling guilty and I told myself that I would tell him really soon.

When we got back from the store with the mounds of groceries Charlie was engrossed in the game and seemed like his normal self again. I was glad that Jacob went with me because he helped me carry in most of the groceries. He patted my stomach and said that he was more than capable to carry in the heavy bags and I carried in what Jacob had deemed appropriate which were some cereal boxes, toilet paper, and the eggs.

I only had the slightest baby bump, but Jake was cute in the way that he would casually pat my stomach. He was the only other person that knew and he had been there for me through so much already. He said he was going to be the coolest uncle ever and I agreed.

Jacob was great, but it needed to be Edward here, I wanted it to be Edward here and I guess that's why I was so afraid to tell him because my greatest fear was that it would never be Edward here.

After all the groceries were put away and I fixed us something to eat Jacob and I said we were going out for a bit and would be back later. We picked the most climatic time of the game to tell them and they waved their hands at us like we could've said we were going to a drug orgy and they wouldn't have noticed.

True to Jake's promise he followed me all the way to Edward's, which was not easy to find in the dark, and when we pulled up to the house all of the lights were off. I rang the doorbell anyway because Jake had insisted, but I was scared to death that his parents were going to answer the door in their freaking pajamas since it was almost 10 o'clock.

No one did answer the door and no one answered the phone until late afternoon on Saturday. It was Alice and she told me that Edward wasn't home and she had a feeling he hadn't been home for awhile. I started to worry that perhaps he made up with Kelsey and was at her house and I must've mumbled something to that affect because Alice reassured me that he wouldn't be at her house and that she knew he wanted to talk to me. I found myself happier after hearing that, but I had no luck reaching him on Sunday and Alice told me that he still hadn't been home.

Monday I was prepared to speak to him at school at any cost, even if I had to force him to leave with me, but he never showed. So, the next day I prepared myself for the same thing and still a no show.

At the end of the day I went to the home room teacher to get Edward's homework. I'm not quite sure why I felt like I needed an excuse to go to his house but I did. When I walked into the room I saw Alice and Chelsea arguing with the teacher over who would take Edward's homework. When I got closer I realized that it was mainly Chelsea arguing with Alice and Alice telling her to 'fuck off'.

I almost turned around and left, but Alice spoke up while snatching the folders off the teacher's desk.

"Well, I have practice tonight, but I'm sure Edward's tutor will take these to the house and make sure he's caught up after being so sick." then she turned around and looked at me "see there she is now I knew that arrangements would've been made for her to take the assignments to the house."

"Ugh, you don't make any sense Alice. What on Earth could you be practicing and Edward doesn't even need a tutor-"

"Listen here you dumb, little bitch I actually play an instrument very well. What can you play besides the skin flute?!"

I about choked when she said that, but I watched the teacher to see what he would do. He had his eyes shut and was rubbing his temples. He had been teaching for many years and was not interested in getting in the middle of this cat fight. He opened his eyes, looked right at me, and started to speak all the while ignoring the other two girls.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were tutoring again this year Isabella."

"Yes" was all I managed to get out before Alice was speaking again.

"Well, my father was so pleased with all the help that she was to Emmett and he's not prepared to take any chances with Harvard you know." The teacher just nodded. Harvard, huh?

"But Bella is in the same classes as Edward and he's like the smartest person ever." Chelsea whined and I swear even the teacher laughed at her.

"If anyone could give Edward a run for his money it would be Bella and, not that it's any of your business, but Bella has already taken US History so she is perfectly capable of tutoring Edward." Alice said to her and all but stuck her tongue out at her.

"Not to mention that Bella was tutoring seniors before she even came here when she was still a sophomore in Phoenix." Mr. Berty added. This was all very flattering and all, but I had important business to attend to.

Alice held out the folders and Chelsea tried to grab them one last time, but Alice snatched them away with a growl. "Listen here cock gobbler my brother doesn't want anything to do with you." finally giving up she huffed and started to stomp her way out of the room when I don't know what possessed me, but I stuck my foot out and sent Chelsea sliding across the floor and her books went flying everywhere. I took a step back and like we were synchronized Alice stood where I was and I'm pretty sure she slapped me 5 in the process.

"Are you ok Kels…er…Chelsea?" I asked only hoping that it would prevent her from thinking it was me and trying to cause me physical harm.

"Yeah Bella, she's fine. She landed on those flotation devices she calls boobs."

Chelsea didn't turn around to look at Alice probably knowing that she was still pissed about the shit she did to Edward last week, honestly I was too. The teacher asked if she was ok and she just nodded while collecting her things and she quickly made her way out the door.

I'm not sure why Alice helped me, but she did. It was like somehow she knew how important this was to me.

Alice told me she was going to Jasper's and that she would be home shortly, but their parents wouldn't be there until much later. We went our separate ways in the parking lot and I wasted no time in driving to Edward's house.

I pulled up and saw Edward's shiny Volvo sitting in the driveway parked crooked under the tree which just made me more nervous. I rang the door bell, but no one came. I just couldn't leave, not this time. I had seen Emmett and even Rosalie take the extra key out of one of the flower pots on the porch many times and lucky for me it was still in the same spot.

I let myself in and after I had put the key back and closed the door behind me. I began walking up the stairs, with each step I grew more nervous. I remembered where Emmett had pointed out where his "moody, gay ass brother's" room was and I weakly knocked on the door. I'm not sure what response I was given, but I opened the door slowly and stepped in anyway.

I saw Edward laying on his stomach on the floor turned away from me sketching in a book.

**EPOV**

I had no idea what day it was today, but I knew I hadn't slept for quite awhile. I just got home from Mike's earlier today and everyone was gone so I assumed that it was either Monday or Tuesday. I hadn't smelled so pleasant after spending that much time in the same clothes so I had showered and changed and then laid on the floor which was where I continued to lay.

I was drawing frantically, a picture of Bella, with a charcoal pencil. It actually looked nothing like Bella, but I wasn't in the best state of mind to be drawing a masterpiece if you know what I mean.

I heard a knock on the door and told them to fuck off. If it was Alice she would scold me about it later, but very seldom did my father come up here and I could count on one hand how many times Esme had come up here. The door opened anyway and I heard a soft voice.

"Chelsea, get the fuck out of my house before I call the police."

"Please don't my dad is the last person I want here." I knew that voice. It was the sweetest voice that I've ever heard and it could never be mistaken for Chelsea's.

"Bella?" I squinted through the dim light and thought that perhaps I was hearing and seeing things. I sat up and just sat there looking at her.

"I have your homework. Chelsea had wanted to bring it, but Alice wouldn't let her." She said with a laugh and I couldn't help but to smile at the musical sound.

"Why didn't Alice just bring them since we do live together?" Great now it sounded like I didn't want her here. Did I want her here…of course I did.

"I wanted to talk to you and I think Alice knew somehow." she said it like she was still contemplating the notion and I knew that she was right Alice probably did know somehow.

"Weren't you supposed to come talk to me days ago?" I tried to sound angry but I only sounded miserable because I was.

"I did, but I couldn't get here until late because of my dad and Jacob's dad were at my house." Well, I guess that partially explained why he was there.

"I'm sorry I didn't wait longer." I said sincerely.

"Edward?" she took a step closer and I felt my heart beat faster and I couldn't explain how her very presence made me happy. "I have to tell you something." She said it quietly and I felt myself hope that she would say that she missed me like I had missed her or that she was wrong about us not being together or that she wanted to be friends or fucking pen pals for all I cared.

"Yes, Bella." The hope echoed in my voice. It was like the brightness in the middle of my drawing amidst all the darkness that I've gone through.

"Edward, I'm pregnant."

"What?" That wasn't any of the things that I had thought of and I wasn't sure I had heard her correctly.

"I'm pregnant and I've been so scared to tell you, but-"

"Wait how is that possible? You told me you were on the fucking pill. Wait, we haven't even been together for-"

"Almost four months." she answered.

"No, you lied and why would you wait so long to tell me? How do you know it's not Jacob's baby?"

"I didn't lie I was on the pill, but I didn't know it wasn't effective yet. Of course it's not Jacob's baby because it's you're baby. I've never been with Jacob. I've only been with you!" She was crying so hard and I felt like shit…what was new? I believed her when she said she wasn't with anyone else. I could see in her eyes that she was telling the truth.

"Are you sure? I mean, you're so skinny everyone thinks your bulimic maybe your period stopped because you're underweight."

"I'm not bulimic, Edward. I'm pregnant." She said through her sobs and lifted up her shirt by slowly rolling it instead of just pulling it and it seemed to take for fucking ever, but then there was her stomach. It was no longer the flat, little stomach that I had ran my tongue over a few months ago. I was shocked when I saw the little bump protruding over her pants.

She was crying so hard that I finally got up off the floor and wrapped my arms around her. Her head fell against my chest and she held on to me so hard. She was still crying and I patted her back to try to soothe her, but it didn't work.

"I'm so scared Edward. I haven't told my dad and…" her voice was lost in sobs against my shirt.

"It's ok, Bella. Everything is going to be fine." I was running my hands through her hair and she finally seemed to be calming down and she let out a big sigh

"Really? I wish I had told you earlier." her voice was still shaky.

"Don't worry. We'll take care of it. My father's a doctor and there's still places that can do an abortion."

Her arms fell off of me instantly making my chest hurt and her head was down so I couldn't even see her face.

"I was right. I knew you wouldn't want us." She was sobbing again and it came out in a mumble and then she turned to leave.

"No Bella please wait we can talk about this." She turned back around to face me and I took her face in my hands. I traced my fingers around her face. "You look so sick Bella. Maybe you're not ready to have a baby. You're so young and tiny, you could have a baby when you're older and your body can handle it."

"Is that how you really feel?" She looked up at me briefly and she was trying hard to stop crying long enough to speak the words which she wasn't very successful at and I nodded my response.

"I have to go Edward, but I'll talk to you later." She barely got the words out and I tried to hug her again, but she wouldn't return the embrace. I let my face brush up against her hair and I took in the strawberry scent. I whispered in her ear that I was so sorry and then she left.

I collapsed on the floor and let my head fall to my hands. I couldn't believe that Bella was pregnant. I kept picturing the little bump of her stomach and I kept thinking about what I had said.

The next thing I knew I was being shaken and Alice was yelling in my ear.

"Wake up! Edward, you better wake up before dad gets here!"

I opened my eyes and I was lying on the floor. I was sweaty and my muscles felt so cramped from lying here for God knows how long.

"What time is it?" my voice was hoarse and my mouth was incredibly dry.

"What time or what day Edward? It's 4 o'clock on Thursday and you've missed four days of school. Dad covered for you, but he's fucking pissed."

I heard what she was saying, but I didn't really care. "I had the weirdest dream." I looked around remembering everything from Bella's little sobs to actually smelling her hair.

"Did it have anything to do with making Bella cry?"

"Yeah, actually it did…wait it wasn't a dream was it?"

"No, she was hysterical when she was leaving here the other night. I tried to calm her down. I told her you were really out of it and to come back later."

"Did she?" Alice just shook her head. "What are you not telling me?"

"She hasn't been at school."

"Fuck, we have to call her."

"What do you mean 'we'?"

"It would be weird for a guy to call out of the blue when she very well could have told her dad she was pregnant the other night." Alice didn't look surprised…of course she didn't.

I found the number, dialed it, and threw the phone at Alice within the matter of seconds.

"Hello, Chief Swan is Bella there please."

"No she's not." His voice sounded gravelly even through the phone.

"Oh, well she hasn't been at school and I was just concerned and I wanted to see if she needed someone to bring her homework to her or anything."

"No, she had some issues she had to take care of and she went back to her mother's. I'm sorry, but she won't be back, Angela."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, sir." Alice replied, but it didn't matter he had already hung up. I think she had waken him and I guess it was well enough that he thought it was Angela.

I laid on the bed and thought about everything without the haze of fatigue and drugs clouding my mind. I had suggested that she not continue with the pregnancy. She looked horrible and I said that she could have another baby later. That _she _could not that we could. Not that I even knew if she wanted to be with me again, but I wasn't trying to get out of responsibility for the baby. I wasn't thinking straight when she told me and she looked so sick. All I had been thinking about for weeks was how sick she had looked.

I didn't want her to go through this alone. Maybe if she knew I would support her and the baby she would still keep it.

Alice and I spent the next couple of hours trying to find where Bella's mother lived. Alice said that she knew she moved from Phoenix and we called every Swan in the city that we could find on the internet. Alice thought that Bella's mother had gotten remarried and I hated myself for not knowing this. I should know this.

Alice came back with Jasper's mom's yearbooks and we finally found a picture from prom with a very young looking Charlie and Renee. We found one Renee Swan in Phoenix, but the number was disconnected. Alice said a lot of people didn't have home phones anymore or maybe the number had been changed after she had gotten married.

I jotted down the address and started to write a letter. Alice left and I heard her telling Dad I would be fine and whatever other excuses that had prevented him from coming in.

I wrote the letter as neat as I could with my shaking hands and I told her everything I wish I would have said the night she told me she was pregnant with my baby. A tear fell on the page when I thought that she had left thinking I didn't care that I didn't want her or the baby. That what she had said "I knew you wouldn't want us" those words were like a knife in my heart. I did want her, I only wanted her. The baby was a part of her and I wanted him or her too. I imagined how the baby would look with her dark brown eyes and little nose. What if it was too late? She was gone, what if the baby was gone too? I had never even touched her stomach. If my letter was too late I would spend forever making it up to her. I would be there for her like I should've always been.

The next day I mailed the letter before I went back to school. Alice was waiting for me to make sure that I would be there. We had finished most of my homework last night. Between her, Jasper, and I it hadn't taken long.

The day went by in a blur. No one talked to me, but the whispers followed me everywhere I went. Horrible rumors went around about why both I and Bella were absent, even though only a couple of those days overlapped, and why she wasn't coming back. The most absurd was that I had killed her and buried her in the woods behind my house, but at least that was the one that was keeping almost everyone from talking to me so that was a perk.

The next day was Saturday and that night I left my room and found myself back in the maple tree, although I was sober this time. I had vowed to not touch alcohol or any other shit again since it had caused so many of the problems that had worked against Bella and I.

I didn't care when I leapt from the tree to the roof. I knew no one was in the house. Bella was gone and Charlie was at the station, I know because I drove by there first. I opened the window and climbed in. The empty bed was like a cruel analogy for the way I felt. The last time, the only time, I was here Bella had laid there beautiful and asleep. I now wish I _had_ woke her up, maybe she would have told me then or maybe I could've told her that I missed her and that I only wanted to be with her.

I sat on the bed, but soon found myself with my head in the pillow that smelled like her hair. There was a small teddy bear on the bed and I thought maybe it was the one from the flowers I had sent her. It saddened me that she didn't take it with her, but I couldn't say that I blamed her.

Eventually I left so the police chief wouldn't find me sleeping in his daughter's bed. I took the little, brown bear with me and made my way home.

I thought I hated myself before, but nothing compared to this. I went through each day doing what I was supposed to do. I kept my grades up, I talked to people when they talked to me, which was mainly Jasper and Alice, but even they didn't talk to me much anymore. The letter I wrote Bella came back a week later with a sticker that said 'no forwarding address' I wondered if that was true or if she had actually refused it and sent it back either way it now sat in the drawer with her picture and the teddy bear.

I spent many days searching listings for 'Swan' in other cities in Arizona and neighboring states. I even started working on smaller towns that I randomly chose around the state. None of them resulted in anything, but I couldn't give up.

My acceptance letter from Harvard also came, but dad was handling all of that. I didn't give a fuck if I went to college in Antarctica.

The days passed and the winter season slowly started to melt into spring, literally. Not that I noticed much since I was usually in my room. I didn't go out, I didn't play sports, the only thing I did do occasionally was play the piano. When the memory of Bella's sobs would wake me in the middle of the night I would play and although I am certain that the somber music that filled the house annoyed everyone it was only Alice that would complain every once in awhile. She usually came in half asleep and in her pajamas saying something like "Hey Phantom of the Opera it's three in the fucking morning!" and then she would go back to bed.

I hated the calendar…I hated time. It was a cruel reminder of all the mistakes I made, but I knew what today was. It was two months since Bella had been here, two months since she had been gone.

**A/N -**

**Skin Flute - the hardest of all the wind instruments**

**Cock gobbler - reminds me of a naughty turkey, but in fact it's borrowed from the story Poughkeepsie who I believed borrowed it from the story Mr. Horrible (but if I'm wrong on the second one then I'm very sorry)**

**The letter - will be shown in its entirety at a later time**

**If you need a hug let me know. If you're no longer trusting my insanity then you don't need to let me know, lol.**

**Yeah, I got a little backwards New Moon up in here, but this is not a long lasting thing so hopefully that makes you feel better.**

**I've heard some concern about what Edward did during his time at Mike's. What do you guys think, was he good or was he bad?**

**If you have another question let me know. **

**Reviews are better than knocking Kelsey on her beach balls!**


	10. Chapter 10 The Awakening

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight or anything Twilight related, but I own the shenanigans of The Bet. **

**So, I was walking around Kohl's today thinking about The Bet (yeah so, I think about this shit all the time, lol) when I heard a song and was like whoa I didn't realize that song fit this chapter, but it does so ****if you want, check out - What about now by Daughtry.**

**Ok, I have tissues for everyone, but put away your pitchforks because they're happy tissues…or at least for happy tears. **

**I love all of you guys and maybe after this chapter you will love me again too.**

**Here we go…**

**Chapter 10**

**The Awakening**

**EPOV**

I sat on my bed doodling on a piece of paper and listening to the same song I always listen to that was on repeat. Lately, the only bit of comfort I had came from drawing since it didn't seem that anyone appreciated the shit I played on the piano, but I couldn't really blame them. What I played was loud, sad, and usually took place at three in the morning.

I nearly broke my pencil when the door abruptly opened and a tiny girl was bouncing on my bed. I took my earphones out with a surprised look on my face.

"Alice, have you suddenly forgotten how to knock?"

"No, not at all, but I wasn't planning on taking 'go away' for an answer so there wasn't a need to ask if I could come in." She, of course, was right because I would have told her to leave.

"So, big sister what has you so excited?" she was smiling ear to ear, which was only accentuated by me calling her big sister, and she was still slightly bouncing up and down.

"I have something to show you which will either greatly improve your mood or make it incredibly worse, which I don't even know if that's possible." Her smile was replaced by a contemplative, thoughtful look, but she didn't change her mind from doing what she obviously came here to do.

Her smile returned and she held out a picture I hadn't seen in years. I took it from her hands and studied it carefully. It was our mother holding both of us in her lap for a Christmas photo. We were only about 2 years old and dressed in matching plaid, a dress for Alice and a shirt and dress pants for myself. It wasn't a surprise for us to be matching; our Mother had loved to dress us in the same color or whatever theme she could get her hands on. I honestly think she had some specially made. Luckily we quickly outgrew the little sailor outfits and denim overalls, but I'm glad our mom had her fun when we were little. I was studying her face that was so beautiful and youthful in this picture which was a saddening contrast to her face when she had succumb to the cancer after so many bouts of chemo. It had been several years, but I could still picture her face that way and I much preferred to remember it this way with a glow of happiness from the holiday festivities.

"I have something else to show you, mom would've liked this." Her smile was huge again and she held out a baby picture of the two of us together.

"Alice, where did you get this? I mean how?" I was staring at our hospital pictures, but we were now side by side, pink and blue.

"I made it. Well, I photoshopped it and the other one I had digitally restored. I'm not done. I have a lot more pictures, but I wanted to show you these because I did my favorites first. They're for our graduation open house. They're going to be arranged around the dining room."

"Well, that's a good idea." I hadn't even thought about graduation…my thoughts had only consisted of _her_.

"I just want it to be perfect." She said quietly looking at the pictures in my hands.

"Are you planning all of it?" She nodded her head with a proud and slightly delirious look on her face. "Well, then I'm sure it will turn out wonderful." I kissed her on the forehead and went back to drawing. She seemed pleased enough and got up to leave the room. "Hey Alice, you're right mom would've loved that picture." She gave a small nod and a smile before she left the room.

I noticed that she had left the pictures on my nightstand and said something about going to Jasper's, but I had already resumed listening to my self-loathing song and didn't hear most of what she had said.

I was trying to determine where I left off on my drawing when I felt my phone vibrate which surprised me because it was very rare that anyone ever called me.

After a couple of weeks I was exonerated in the disappearance of Bella in the minds of my imbecile peers and that rumor had since been replaced with one that involved an eating disorder clinic which everyone seemed to accept. I had no proof, but I had my suspicions that Chelsea was behind that one, or hell maybe even both.

For awhile my phone had rang like crazy, Mike wanting to party, Chelsea trying to make amends, even S.T. McGee had called wanting to 'cheer me up'. I completely ignored all of the calls and messages until they dwindled and now I only got an occasional call from Alice or Jasper. Even my father never called me, but I don't suppose he really has a reason to since I never do anything. I don't get into trouble and I seldom ever leave the house unless it's for school.

I looked at the screen of my phone and apparently my house was calling me. Literally, since no one else was here. How interesting. I hesitantly answered not fully ready to embrace my presumed insanity.

"Hello?" I said warily.

"Oh Edward, good are you here because I need you to do me a favor." She wasn't really asking if I was here because I was always here even though I barely spoke with Esme and often, obviously, forgot that she was even here I still recognized her voice through the hoarseness and coughing. I actually felt bad that I hadn't realized that she was here and sick.

"Sure Esme, I'm sorry I didn't realize you were ill, do you need me to bring you something?"

"No, I have everything I need here, but I've been stuck in bed for awhile and I haven't been able to get to the grocery store. Would you mind picking some things up since I don't think your father would be too pleased with mustard and saltines for dinner." Even as sick as she was she still laughed and was trying her hardest to sound pleasant.

"Sure, I'll go to the store." I stated simply. Going to the store was actually the last thing I wanted to fucking do, but I wanted to help her and not because I felt obligated, but because it was the right thing to do.

"Ok, well I have a really big list, but I can shorten it with just the necessities until I can go."

"No, really Esme it's not a problem. I'll be there anyway so I might as well just get everything. I'm just gonna take a shower and then I'll get the list from you."

I took a quick shower and put on clean clothes, the bare minimum to look socially acceptable in public. My unruly hair, that I suppose needed cut, stuck up in every direction and instead of putting forth any effort in taming it I put a hat over it. It was cold and raining outside anyway.

I didn't feel like fucking with my contacts either, I had gotten them purely for vain reasons anyway because I had been teased like crazy for my glasses in grade school, but I doubt that someone was going to jump out of the frozen food section and yell "Hey, four eyes!" so I put them on and went to get the grocery list from Esme.

I knocked quietly on the door and she told me to come in. She looked horrible lying in bed and I felt bad that she had been sick and I hadn't even noticed. She handed me what looked like a really fucking long list along with her credit card and I started to scan over all of the items. She wasn't kidding it was a big list.

"I added some details to help you out" she said while coughing and I took note of the helpful information she added like the brand name and the color of the package. "If there's anything on there you're not sure about just circle it and I'll get it later."

"No, it shouldn't be a problem. I'll be back in a little while." or a couple of hours judging by this list.

"Thanks Edward, I really appreciate it. I thought Alice was going to go, but-"

"No, Esme it's fine. I'm going to get you some fresh water too." I knew if I asked she would just say no because that was her nature. She was the one who took care of people and she didn't like for the tables to be turned and to need being taken care of even instead. I ran downstairs and emptied her wastebasket full of tissues and dumped out the warm water from the glass and filled it with fresh, ice water. I made my way back up the to the bedroom. She mumbled a thanks and gave a weak smile before she fell back asleep. I made a mental note that I would try harder with Esme and then walked out into the rain.

I decided to take Esme's car since it was one of those big ass SUVs and had plenty of room in the back for all the fucking groceries I would be getting.

I made my way through the aisles studying each item I pulled off the shelves while cross referencing the list to make sure it was the right one. Truth is I went through each aisle several times since I didn't know where shit was and I had to back track a million fucking times. I swear I didn't realize the work it took to keep our kitchen stocked. I just knew how to take the fucking food out and shove it in my mouth. I decided my first act of kindness would be to make dinner tonight so Esme wouldn't have to worry about it and I kept my eyes open for something easy to make.

I was making my way down the list nicely until I came to the word "Tampons". Ok, so this must have been what Esme was referring to when she said I could skip some of the items. I had my pen handy and was ready to circle this shit and just let her come back and get them herself when I thought why the fuck do I care, I can get fucking tampons right? I mean what was the big deal about dudes buying that shit anyway? It's not like they were used or something. They came in a nice, little box and it wasn't like the cashier would think they were mine so no big deal I could do this.

This is what I've been reduced to, walking around the grocery store with a full cart giving myself a pep talk about buying fucking tampons. I walked into the aisle and froze "holy fuck" I mumbled. How many different types of tampons could there be? Apparently a lot because there was a whole aisle full of the bastards. I didn't even want to decode all of the shit on the box that I was reading - easy glide, scented, something about pearls and something about an applicator…ok officially blind. I grabbed a box and ran, yes ran, out of the aisle.

The cart was full, even the bottom part of the cart was full. I pushed it to the check out aisle and started the pesky task of unloading all of this shit. Everyone behind me looked annoyed, but what the fuck, this was a grocery store and I was buying groceries so take your pissy looks to the express lane, bitches. Yes, my mood was improving measurably; I was now able to keep my antisocial remarks to myself.

By the time everything was bagged and put back into the cart it now took up two carts, what the fuck's up with that? So, I stood there in front of two carts wondering how in the fuck I was going to maneuver this shit through the damn rain.

"Do you need some assistance?" The manager asked me.

"Yes, I suppose I do." I replied and praised myself for not saying 'fucking duh'.

He had called for someone to come help while I was busy trying to get the mile long receipt into my pocket when I looked up and saw who he was talking to. She was stocking cans on a shelf and had her back facing us so that all I saw was her long brown hair flowing down her back. I had to knock that shit off. Alice had already scolded me in hopes that I wouldn't continue with my long haired brunette obsession. I believe her words were "There's only two more girls in school with hair like hers and I'm pretty sure one looks like ugly Betty.", but until now I hadn't noticed any other brunette.

She turned around and my heart dropped. It literally felt like the wind had been knocked out of me as I stared into her face. I had dreamed of that face, I had longed and wished and prayed to see that face and now here she was standing right in front of me. It took me a moment to notice that she looked rather shocked too, but our eyes only met for a split second before she looked away and walked over to me.

She was wearing the red smock that all the employees wear, with the exception of the ultra important manager here, but even so I could see the small bulge of her stomach. She was still pregnant. Those few seconds of her walking over to me felt like they lasted forever and I don't know how I contained my amazement or happiness.

She grabbed one of the carts and began to push it, but I'm pretty sure that it weighed as much as she did.

"This is too heavy for you. I'll just come back for the second cart."

"No, really it's fine. I can get it" she answered not looking at me.

"But, you're pregnant." It felt good to finally say it out loud and know it was still the truth.

"Is there a problem?" the manager asked

"No, everything's fine Mr. Hansen" Bella replied cutting me off from saying that there absolutely was a problem.

"Please, don't get me fired." She pleaded under her breath and I couldn't help but do whatever she asked of me.

We walked through the rain in silence and I didn't even know what I was going to say.

We got to the car and I opened the back to put the groceries in and she started to help.

"Really, you should go back in I can get this." What the fuck was I saying? I didn't want her to leave, but I didn't want her standing out in the cold rain either she didn't even have a jacket.

"Edward, I can't lose this job."

"Ok, but here" I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders

"I can't take your coat. Now your getting soaked."

"I don't care." I said honestly and kept putting the groceries into the back of the car and Bella kept handing me bags until something fell out and made a splash when it hit the pavement. Bella picked it up while I set the bags down.

"You dropped your tampons" she laughed.

"Thanks" I laughed back and our eyes locked and all I saw was her smiling face. I reached out and brushed some wet hair off of her face. She looked better…she looked beautiful. I hated myself for what I had said to her and I knew I would never stop being angry at myself.

"Please don't be mad at me, Edward." She pleaded and it made me feel worse.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself" my voice sounded empty because all of my energy the past couple of months has gone to being mad at myself, but she didn't take it that way.

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't want this, but I didn't tell anybody. Nobody knows it's yours and I don't expect-" She was whispering and her voice sounded panicked and I hated it.

"Bella,-" I reached out to her arm, but she pulled away to leave and I grabbed her wrist without thinking.

"Ow!" I instantly let go, but her knees buckled and I put my arms under hers.

"Oh shit, Bella I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It wasn't you. It was the baby, he likes to play soccer with my ribs."

"It's a boy?" I said shocked and nearly in tears.

"Oh, I don't really know, but I have dreams that it's a boy and he has green eyes just like yours." She looked up and we were only inches from each other and I wanted so badly to bend down and kiss her soft lips.

"I have to go before I get in trouble." She whispered backing up slightly.

"Here I'll take the carts."

"That's ok" we stood there arguing over the carts for a moment until someone came up behind her and I just stood there and stared as Jacob wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the forehead.

"You ready to go, honey?"

"Jake, stop doing that!" She yelled and slapped his hands off her arms.

"Aw Baby, is that any kind of greeting for your husband?"

"Jake, I told you to stop doing that!" My mouth was hanging open and I was shocked. "Ignore him he does that shit all the time in a futile attempt to protect my virtue. Jacob, the last person you have to protect my virtue against is Edward, well now it is." She said with a nervous laugh.

"Oh shit Edward, I didn't recognize you. I'm sorry it's just that Bella gets a lot of shit for being young and pregnant and I try to protect her against it, but I guess it's pointless." He said with a shrug.

I was looking at Bella, but her head was down and I felt so bad. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and protect her myself.

"I have to clock out and then we can go." She said to Jacob.

"Wait Bella, I still want to talk to you." I begged.

"I'll be over there" Jacob said pointing to his car and he quickly escaped.

"I have to go home because I have to work in the morning, but give me your phone number and I'll call you."

I dug around in the car and wrote down my cell number, my home number, and Alice's cell number just for good measure and handed it to her.

"You know I could drive you." I said in an eager voice.

"Oh, that's ok. It's out of your way and Jake's going to La Push anyway."

"Oh, you're staying in La Push?"

"Yeah, well, I don't exactly have anywhere else to go so I'm staying with my friend Emily and her husband." She looked at her watch briefly before looking back up "Hey, I really have to go clock out before I get in trouble." She stuck the piece of paper in her pocket and headed back into the store.

I put the carts away and just stood there feeling empty again. When I saw her come back out and head towards Jacob's car I ran towards her. I couldn't stop myself. "Hey wait!" I called out.

"Oh yeah, your jacket here." She started to take it off, but I put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"No Bella, you can keep it, but I can't let you go, not again. I feel like if I let you walk away that you'll disappear and I wont' ever see you again. Bella, all this time I've only wanted this chance to talk to you please come over to my house and I will drive you to Emily's later. Please." I begged her and she gave me a small nod and told Jacob where she was going. We walked to the car in silence and got in soaking wet.

We were driving down the street and the silence was deafening.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" She nodded her head like she was afraid of what I was going to ask.

"Are you and Jacob dating?"

"Are you high?"

"Actually no, I'm not and I think it's a pretty valid question. "

"I told you Jake just says that shit and we are not dating, we've never dated. He's like my brother."

"You make out with your brother?"

"What? No, of course not…oh wait."

"Yeah Bella, I saw you."

"No, that wasn't real. That was the day…the day…" she started crying as I pulled up to my driveway. I rubbed her leg with my hand and she placed her hand on top of mine and I could feel the spark and warmness. I wiped her tears off her cheek.

"Come on Bella, I'll put away the groceries and then we can talk." she nodded

She sat on a stool at the island in the kitchen with the juice I insisted she have and she watched me put the groceries away. She had protested a few times telling me she wasn't an invalid and that she could help, but I told her that she had worked all day and that she should just sit and relax for a minute.

"So, does your mom usually have you do the grocery shopping?" She asked with a smile.

"My step-mom. No, she's sick and Alice wasn't here so I got the honor, but that's cool. It was a learning experience." I said with a laugh as I tossed the tampons on the counter and Bella laughed too. "Plus, I found you." I added solemnly.

"I didn't know I was lost." She whispered.

"I did" I responded quietly. "I'll be right back" I ran upstairs and gave Esme her credit card back and told her all the groceries were put away and that I was going to start dinner, she seemed a little concerned, I'm sure for the safety of our stomachs from food poisoning and the house from fire, but I told her I had help which I'm sure she assumed to be Alice, but I made no attempt to clarify.

I walked into the kitchen and just stood there for a minute watching Bella chase the ice cubes in her glass with the straw until she looked up.

"I didn't know if I was allowed to get up" she said jokingly.

"I'm going to fix dinner so you can watch me burn it."

"Non-sense let me help."

I had already decided on spaghetti because it seemed easy enough, but Bella buzzed around me getting everything out from the refrigerator and the cabinets. I got the important job of browning the hamburger and boiling the noodles while she cut vegetables for the sauce and a salad. We fell into a nice rhythm side by side at the counter and stove as the house started to smell like non-poisonous food.

I came back from throwing some things in the trashcan to find Bella stirring _my _noodles. I came up behind her and put my face by the side of hers so I could smell her hair. It didn't smell like strawberries, but it didn't matter. "What do you think you're doing, Bella?" I breathed right next to her ear.

"Stirring the noodles so they don't stick?" It came out as a question and I could hear her breathing hitch when my lips grazed against her neck. I ran my hands from her shoulders down her sides barely feeling the side of her stomach, but stopped before moving any further.

"Can I?" I asked before moving my hands over her stomach and she nodded. I slowly moved my hands over so that they covered the better part of her stomach and then I rubbed slowly. She leaned her head back so that it rested on my shoulder and I continued until something abruptly hit my hand.

"He kicked me!" I moved my hand away, but then put it back to feel two more small kicks.

"Yeah, he likes to do that, believe me" she laughed and just then Alice and Jasper walked in.

"Bella!" Alice squealed and gave her a big hug. No one said anything about her being obviously pregnant and we instead finished cooking dinner while Alice and Jasper set the table and helped carry the food out and when they were getting the drinks ready and I was making a plate to take up to Esme dad walked in.

"Hey it smells good in here." He said while taking off his wet trench coat and setting down his briefcase.

Alice was quick to intervene and she took it upon herself to say the exact, right thing.

"Hi dad, you remember Bella. I hope it's ok that she's staying for dinner, but she just got back into town and we wanted to catch up." Bella was standing behind the counter cutting the garlic bread and she gave a smile before directing her attention back to the bread. Her stomach was blocked from view and Carlisle gave us all a quick hello before he made his way upstairs to change.

I left his and Esme's plates and drinks on the counter and when he came down he took them up on a tray where I assumed he was going to eat with her and probably watch television in their room.

We made small talk through dinner, but Alice kicked Jasper when he wanted seconds and they left to go watch a movie in the family room.

We made our way upstairs and sat on my bed. I was so nervous, but more than that I was happy. This was my second chance. The one I had wished for, for so long.

"I don't know where to start, Bella even though I've had this conversation in my head a thousand times, but I guess I should start by saying I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said when you told me about the baby. I was fucked up and I was wrong. "

"I really didn't expect this, I thought you would be mad." She said sheepishly.

"Is that why you went to Phoenix?"

"What?"

"Is that why you went back to your mom's?"

"My mom doesn't' live in Phoenix anymore and no, I did not go on my own accord." she said smugly. She obviously still held a grudge about that shit. "Charlie sent me to my mom's in Jacksonville. Neither one of them agreed with my decision and it was just horrible. I've only been back a week."

"We don't have to talk about that." I saw she was getting tears in her eyes and I placed my hands on her stomach again "Are you keeping him?" I asked hesitantly.

"Are you going to ask me not to?" I could tell that my answer would determine whether she stayed or stormed out and the latter most likely included her junk punching me on her way out, but I already had my answer so it didn't matter.

"Absolutely not. I know I was shitty before, but as soon as I realized what a mistake I made I tried to tell you that I would be there for you and the baby, but it was too late you were already gone. For the past two months I didn't know if you listened to my stupid ass and ended the pregnancy since that's how Charlie made it sound, but I hoped that you didn't. Bella, right now I have everything that I wished for." I still had my hands on her stomach and she was just staring at me.

"You talked to Charlie?"

"No, Alice called for me and he told her that you went back to your mom's and wouldn't be back, that you were 'taking care of' some issues." She just shook her head.

"That's what he wanted me to do, but I couldn't" her voice trailed off and I knew she was still hurt by all that shit and why shouldn't she be? Everyone that should have been there for her wasn't. Me, her mom, her dad, we all wanted her to do something else, but it wasn't like that anymore. I would do anything to support her decision.

"Bella, I'm so sorry you had to face that alone. I should've been there for you and I hate that I wasn't, but I'm here now. I promise you."

She crashed into me and wrapped her arms around me so tight like the first time she was here, but this was different because I wasn't going to let her go. I wasn't going to push her away.

"Edward, I have a question."

"Anything"

"Are you seeing someone?"

"Are you asking me out?" I said with a smile

"I'm being serious."

"No, I haven't talked to Kelsey since that day in the parking lot." That was a peace offering and she smiled up at me and I knew she accepted it.

"Was she ever here?" She asked while swirling her finger around the area of the bed.

"No. Fuck no. She wasn't ever here."

"What about after Kelsey?"

"There was no after Kelsey"

"What do you mean?"

"This whole time I've been looking for you." I pulled out my binder and handed it to her. She opened it and looked at all the notes, maps with red X's that marked out the cities that I had searched, and the print outs of various Swans that I had found and for the most part had hung up on me.

"You really did look for me" she said with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, I did, but not in Florida" I said sadly. She laid down on the bed and I laid next to her. I thought about how many times I had imagined and wanted her to be right here and finally she was. I let my hands go back to her stomach where it felt like they were drawn. "I just never want to be away from you guys again."

"I'm glad" she said quietly.

"Bella, you've really never dated Jacob?"

"No, never"

"But, I saw you guys-"

"No, it was a fake kiss. Jake knew my plan for that day and he knew what happened with Kelsey, and he did it to make you jealous."

"That's not what I was talking about. Wait, what was your plan?" She had tears flowing down her cheeks and I moved my hands so I could hold her close.

"My plan was to talk to you to tell you how much I liked you and that I wanted to go out with you." she sniffled.

"Bella, are you fucking serious?!" She nodded her head and was still crying. Fuck I hated it when she cried. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried, but you wouldn't listen. You said I needed to get the fuck away and stick by my decision and that things weren't the way that they seemed. I thought you really liked me, but I guess it wasn't really like that, but I suppose now the baby makes it different." She motioned her hands down to her big belly and she sobbed against my chest while I rocked her.

"Bella, I can't believe I didn't listen to you. Well, really I can believe it because I'm a stubborn idiot." I gently stroked her hair away from her face. "The baby doesn't make anything different. I feel the same about you." She looked up at me sadly "I want to be with you because of you and I felt that way before I knew about the baby, but I after I saw you and Jake at the pizza place I didn't think you felt the way I thought you did…that it wasn't the way it had seemed."

"What? You were there?! We were just there as friends he was the one that convinced me to talk to you. Actually, I had waited for you after the game, but Mike-"

"But, Mike what?" Fuck, he told her about the bet. I haven't even thought about that fucking bet, but I guess if he didn't tell her than I would have to, but not tonight.

"He backed me up against the wall and…and" she was still sobbing even harder now. Shit what the fuck did he do to her.

"Did he…" I couldn't even say it. Was that why she waited so long to tell me about the baby? I felt the rage building up inside of me while I waited for her answer.

"No. Jacob saved me, but he said you just used me."

"Bella, I didn't use you. I wanted to be with you and I still want to be with you. Before I had thought that you deserved someone better and now…well, now I know you do, but I'm too selfish to ever let you go again. I'm sorry I was such a dick and that I didn't listen to you, but I'll make it up to you I promise. I promise you, Bella."

"I never _want_ to go again. I missed you" she whispered.

"I missed you too, fuck, I missed you so much." She looked up and smiled at me it was almost like the first time we kissed and I leaned towards her and let my lips press against hers. Her lips were so warm and tasted like candy, but better than any candy I've tasted since I've tasted her lips.

It wasn't me and it wasn't her, it was both of us that couldn't get enough. Our kisses become more and more intense and I felt her hands go through my hair and all of the tingles on my scalp. It had been so long since I had felt anything like that and I never wanted to be without her again.

I trailed kisses down her neck and back up again until I found my way back to her lips where I placed a few soft, chaste kisses. I didn't want to get to carried away which I think we were both on the brink of doing.

"I think it's getting late." she said somewhat out of breath.

"Just a few minutes longer. I can't let go of you yet."

"Ok" she agreed and she snuggled against me and I felt absolutely complete.

"Can I ask you a question about the baby?"

"It's yours" She said flatly.

"No, I know that, but when is he due."

"June 25th"

"That's right after my birthday" I said happily.

"I know" she smiled at me and I place a kiss on her forehead.

"Do you have a name picked out?"

"No, we can pick one together" She said with a huge smile.

"Hey, you want to see something?" I reached over and grabbed the picture that Alice left and handed it to her.

"Oh, you guys are so cute! This is a good picture. Who photoshopped it?" I grabbed it back and ran my finger down the middle as if there were a line there indicating it had been two pictures, but there was nothing.

"How did you know?" I asked her as she watched me inspect the picture.

"Oh, it's not the picture. Look at your eyes and look at Alice's eyes. You guys look lost, like your looking for each other." I didn't know what to say, she was obviously way more observant than I gave her credit for, so I just nodded in agreement.

"So, there were no girls when I was gone." She said with a yawn. I wasn't sure if it was a question but I shook my head anyway. "Parties?"

"No, I don't even drink anymore. I didn't know how long it would take me to find you, but I knew someday I would."

"So, you've must've done something exciting, write any manifestos?" she said with a laugh. That was the Bella I missed.

"I missed you so much." I said before I kissed her mouth.

The drive was long and quiet, both of us not knowing what to say. I pulled up to Emily's house and neither one of us wanted to be apart again, but it seemed inevitable. '_Only for now__'_ I told myself. I had wanted her to stay with me, honestly I never wanted her to leave my side again, but she felt uncomfortable with the idea and thought it would be better if we talked to my father and Esme first, meaning we would have to tell them about the baby. I reluctantly agreed and here we now sat both of us unwilling to move.

"When will I see you again?" I asked breaking the silence.

"I can call you after work?" It came out like a question and I hated that she doubted how I felt about her.

"Yes, call me as soon as you get off of work and I'll come pick you up." I gave her a kiss, but it lead into several or rather a couple dozen kisses before she exited the car.

I watched her walk up the sidewalk and pause on the small porch as she turned around and waved at me with a big smile on her face before she walked into the house. I kept that vision in my head all the way home, making it replace the last one I had of her crying before she left my house that horrible night.

**A/N - **

***Summer pats you on the back and says "there, there everything's ok" * Now didn't I tell you the light was in view?**

"**But wait!" You say "You forgot the BPOV". Sorry, we will hear about her time when she was gone, but not in its entirety anytime soon. What Charlie and Renee did was shitty, really shitty and I don't want to focus on that right now. **

**I wanted to add that yes they found each other, want to be together, and kissed but that doesn't mean that all is forgiven and everything is hunky dory because it's not, but we're getting there. :)**

**Edward's Song - Hate Me, Blue October (on my cm profile or you can google it cuz it's like Edward's theme song for this story)** **The daughtry song is on my playlist too.**

**I've been hinting at something all along and I will give a prize (I'm not sure what - a preview, answer to a question, a name cameo, a giant ass panda, whatever) to the first person who guesses correctly(there's 2 parts to it). **

**Ok, the original plan for the story did not include Bella going with him right then, but Edward couldn't let her go again so in the end he got his way *Edward throws the leash at Summer, but she ignores him* I think it worked out well though.**

**Voting starts 10/16 and ends 11/8 for the Sparkle Awards and there are tons of awesome stories on there (Emancipation Proclamation, Alphabet Weekends, Cullen Design Firm, and many others) and The Bet is up for the Mate Award for Best Cullen Romance www(dot)thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot)com (replace the dots).**

**Please review and let me know that you love me again, lol!**


	11. Chapter 11 The Disclosure

**Disclaimer - Anything from the Twilight Series is not mine (like quotes), but the other shit is mine.**

**A/N - **

**OK, so I guess I'm trickier than I thought because what I thought was an obvious hint was not. Just recently aroraluna got the secret on the first try and in it's entirety and caught most of the clues. She **_**is **_**on of my CM friends, but we don't talk about TB (mainly just Rob's hot bod). She has chosen the name cameo which will appear next chapter. After several tries MArmas616 guessed half of it and therefore won half of a giant ass panda. Lucky for her it was the bottom half. In addition to her panda ass, I will ask you to go to her profile to check out her stories. The full, sneaky secret comes out this chapter.**

**Oh and I was in a fool's rush to get the last chapter posted and forgot to mention about Edward being a bad boy. The time at Mike's included many things, none of which were chicks, but basically it was a 4 day coke binge…not the soft drink. **

**So Sorry, Bella is ****not**** having twins. **

**Big thanks to beta lulu for fixing stuff and listening to my Betward dilemmas. **

***Right where we left off**

Chapter 11

The Disclosure

**EPOV - A Sunday in March**

I tossed and turned in my bed where Bella had laid just hours ago, but now it was empty. I completely disregarded the sleeping people in the house, like usual, and made my way to the piano.

I had been working on a particular piece and it felt like tonight would be the night that I would finally finish it.

It had been late, or since the sun was rising I guess one could say early, when I finally went to bed. The sleep was short lived when I felt my body being bounced up and down.

"Wakey, wakey eggs and bakey!" She repeated with each bounce.

"If you cooked it I don't want it, Alice!" I groaned and rolled over to go back to sleep.

"Yeah right, I didn't cook. We're going to go out and get breakfast, duh"

"You're so smart, Alice. How did you know that in the middle of my peaceful slumber that I wanted pancakes?" I asked sarcastically.

"Because I'm psychic" She replied in the same tone. "Here's a great outfit for you to wear and I'll see you in the car…my car." She added as she left the clothes on the bed and left the room.

I didn't get a chance to protest which didn't matter because in the end there was no arguing with Alice, she always got her way.

I dressed and took my hygiene level way above what was merely social acceptable. I took out the hair gel I hadn't used in awhile and even put in my contacts which I did wear to school, but not really anywhere else. I even shaved the facial hair that I usually let accumulate until Alice would walk by and put pocket change in my coffee cup. I was thinking that maybe I would stop at the grocery store and see Bella on the way home and I wanted to look good or at least not homeless for her. _Fuck that a-hole manager_ I thought.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, still sleepy and not all the way awake, thinking about Bella and our conversation from last night. It wasn't a dream was it? I don't even think I was asleep long enough to have a dream…thank you Alice.

Wearing the outfit that was so lovingly picked out for me or rather thrown at me, I climbed into Alice's yellow Pontiac Solstice. She had wanted a Porsche and cried and cried to our father about it using the word 'daddy' several times. Ordinarily, that shit worked for the only little girl of the family, but not over a Porsche for a teenager which was exactly what our father had said.

It was still a kick ass car and Alice knew it, but she had vowed to get 'her' Porsche before she left this earth. My sister is nothing if not dramatic and the memory of her making that promise made me laugh .

The parking lot to the diner was full and we barely found a parking spot, so it wasn't a surprise that it was also packed inside. After waiting a few minutes we were seated in a booth in the middle of the crowded diner and we started looking over our menus. I wasn't surprised by the crowd since it was Sunday morning and Sundays always seemed to be crowded in restaurants, that and there wasn't much of a choice in this shit town. We had went as a family for Sunday morning breakfast almost every week, but that was before mom got sick I thought sadly.

I noticed the waitress standing next to the table because I saw her fat stomach in the pink dress-like uniform out of the corner of my eye and when I looked up I was met by a shocked look that probably mirrored my own when I realized that it was actually Bella's face and not a fat stomach, but a pregnant one.

"I thought you worked at the grocery store?" I asked sounding like an idiot.

"I have two jobs. I have to save up enough money to get my own place by the time the baby gets here."

"And then what?" Alice interjected rather rudely, but Bella ignored her.

"What can I get you guys to drink?" She asked quickly since she was obviously busy. We already knew what we wanted so we went ahead and ordered. Alice got Eggs Benedict and I was actually _not_ dreaming of pancakes, instead strawberry French toast sounded fucking fantastic. She left the table to turn in the order and I watched her as she buzzed around the dining room dropping off plates of food, carrying away empty plates, and refilling coffee cups. She worked so hard and I felt awful for it.

When Bella delivered our drinks she gave me a quick smile and then took off to drop off tickets and to go boxes, but it didn't take long before she was back with our food.

"So Bella, will you be back in school tomorrow?" Alice asked in a tone that sounded a bit condescending to me as if she already knew the answer. At that moment I realized the answer too and I was getting pretty pissed about it.

"No, I had to drop out." she said sadly. "Do you need anything else?" She asked changing to her fake, nice waitress voice.

"I would love a refill." Alice said motioning towards her cup. Bella nodded and took off to retrieve it.

"Alice, you better knock that shit off now." I growled at her. I don't think I've ever talked to her like that before, but I was pissed.

"What? I can't ask for a refill, Edward? It's her job and it's not my fault you knocked her up."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. I'm not telling you again."

She was back with Alice's drink and was looking at our untouched food.

"Is everything ok?" She asked concerned.

"Yes. Everything is fine." I said with a forced smile and started cutting my food, but looked up briefly, getting lost in her beautiful eyes.

"No, everything's not fine. Bella, I don't think you've thought this through. You're not ready for a baby. What about school? You're not going to go to college and have a real career? Is your plan to work here forever? You're both teenagers I just think that you should consider-"

"Enough Alice! You don't think I've thought it through? Well, you don't know shit because that's the only thing I've thought about for the past 2 months. It's the reason why I'm back here. Yes, I have to put school on hold, but having a baby doesn't mean I can never go to college or have a career and how the fuck would you know if I'm ready for a baby or not? I have two jobs what the hell do you do, Alice!?" She slammed down Alice's drink so that it slid off the table and spilled all over her lap, the cola staining her pants and making her screech, but Bella had already walked away and was out of sight.

I hadn't said one word because I didn't need to or get the chance.

"You were warned Alice and quite frankly you got what you deserved." I didn't elaborate because it wasn't necessary at least not here and instead I took a bite of my food.

"We have to go." She huffed.

"I am going nowhere. I'm going to eat my French toast that I was woken up for way too early in the damn morning."

She got up and left me, but I didn't care. I texted Jasper and he said to let him know when I needed picked up, so I let Alice go and cool off. On her way out the manager approached her and asked if there was a problem, but Alice said she was clumsy and left. I took some napkins and cleaned the shit up from the seat before Bella came over to do it because she was busy enough without having to deal with this shit too.

I went back to eating my food and it was starting to get a little less busy. When I looked up Bella was standing next to me looking rather shameful.

"Don't feel bad about that shit. She fucking deserved it."

"I know that I overreacted." she said quietly while looking down.

"Fuck no you didn't. She said that she didn't think we should keep our baby and even though I know why she said it it's fucking shitty, Bella."

"Believe me I know how shitty it is. It's all I've heard for the past two months from my mother and whomever else she had with her. I want you to know that's why I left, the reason why I came back. It wasn't to ask you for anything because that's not what I'm doing. Oh, and I know why Alice said it too, but no it doesn't excuse her."

I looked up at her dumbfounded and shook my head.

"No, you don't, but you can discuss it with her later."

"Or you can just discuss it with me now." Alice said from behind Bella as she slid into the seat wearing a different outfit.

"I'm not discussing adoption in the middle of my work." She whispered.

"Why because it's bad? There's nothing wrong with adoption I have a great life with a loving family because of it and I'm not ashamed." Alice said matter-of-factly.

"It's not the same, Alice and you know it." I retorted.

"I know nothing of the sort." She said defiantly.

"Edward, I'll call you when I'm done here." Bella placed her hand gingerly on my shoulder and I could feel the electricity even through the fabric. The look on her face was sad as she walked away.

We got up to leave and I would've felt a little sad leaving behind my cold, half-eaten glorious French toast if I wasn't also leaving behind Bella. Alice didn't get a chance to eat any of her food, but that was her own damn fault. I hesitated not knowing the correct gratuity amount that one leave's their pregnant girlfriend. Wait, did I say girlfriend? Well, that was me being hopeful I suppose, but we would sort out the pesky title situation later. We had other issues at hand that were of greater importance, but I did want her to be my girlfriend and I would _not _be using the horrid term 'baby momma' under any circumstance. Without an answer to my gratuity dilemma I threw a large bill on the table and we made our way to pay and leave.

A few hours later I was back at the diner waiting in the parking lot before the dinner rush would start and I saw Bella through the windows doing things like filling the ketchup bottles and wiping the counters.

After a little while she came out looking utterly exhausted. Not only that, but apparently she was pissed too because she slammed the car door behind her and I assumed that she was still upset about what Alice had said earlier. I realized I was wrong when she threw the money that I had left as a tip in my face.

"I didn't come back to get my hands on your money!"

"You can put your hands on whatever you like!" She gave me a horrified look and I stammered. "That didn't come out right. Shit. I meant I know your not like that, but I would give you anything. Anything that you and the baby need. I'm here for you." I said desperately while I tucked the money back into her apron.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm just tired and I only have two hours before I have to be at work." She let her head fall back on the seat.

"But, you just left work!"

"I know, but someone called in sick at the grocery store and I have to go in."

"You could quit." I offered in a weak voice because I knew Bella was too stubborn and independent and wouldn't think much of that idea.

"Yeah, and then what? I can't stay at Emily and Sam's forever. There's barely enough room for me now."

"You can live with me." I didn't think about it before I said it, but I meant it.

"Are you going to hide me in the closet? Your parents don't even know about me…about the baby."

"We'll tell them."

"I don't know, Edward." she said skeptically.

"Bella, it's not like you have to stay in my room. You can stay in the guest room or I can fucking stay in the guest room and you can have my room. Hell, you could even stay in Emmett's room." I said with a laugh.

"Yeah, and risk execution for breathing on his Star War collectibles? I don't think so." She was laughing and so was I because it was the fucking truth.

"Wait, you've been in Emmett's room?"

"Well yeah, I was his tutor last year. What? You actually thought he would cheat on Rosalie…with someone like me?" She scoffed at the very idea.

"I've went out with Rosalie before and I can tell you that you're much better company."

"You went out with Rosalie?!" She practically shouted, not hiding how shocked she was.

"Yes, but it was just an innocent outing for pizza and a couple weeks of note writing. We were young and it wasn't that long after I had moved here. We were both popular and it seemed like a good fit. She was one of the youngest in her grade so we're close in age, but it was like going out with my sister. One day at my house she started hanging out with Emmett and they've been together since."

"Speaking of your sister, you and Alice are really close?"

"Yes, we've always been."

"Since you were born? I mean because you're twins?"

"We've always been close because we're brother and sister."

"But you're not twins because she's adopted."

"Yes, that much she made clear with her childish outburst, but she should really tell you the rest herself since it's really not my story to tell. I told you it wasn't what you thought"

"I didn't think. I knew. I've known that she was adopted, Edward." She said it so nonchalantly, like any fool with two eyes should know and maybe she was right, but no, no one else has ever questioned it.

"Lots of fraternal twins don't look similar, just like a lot of brothers and sisters don't look similar."

"She's two months older than you. Which means she's neither your twin nor your biological sister. It's not a big deal."

I knew it wasn't a big deal, but early on when our mother was out with two infants everyone of course assumed we were twins and what was the harm in agreeing? The alternative was to say "No they're not twins." and then the barrage of questions would start "Well, why did you adopt if you have two children?" "How could someone give her up?" "How much did the adoption cost?" the list goes on and on. My mother never felt the need to distinguish between her 'real' children and her adopted one. We were all her children plain and simple and she never wanted such personal things to be asked in front of Alice especially when she got older so she just never disagreed when people would call us twins and eventually she embraced it and started dressing us like Raggedy Ann and Andy…literally, it was our Halloween costume one year. We always knew the truth of course, but our parents said it was no one else's business unless Alice chose to talk about it.

"How did you know she was two months older?" Alice always chose to have her birthday parties with me and she liked the whole 'twin' thing. I think it's because she wanted to feel connected to someone which we did. We truly were inseparable from the time the social worker brought her home even though we were both very young. Our mother said she had a sleepless week when she refused to put us in the same crib to sleep for fear we would suffocate one another, but out of desperation for sleep she finally caved and we slept through the night side by side in my crib and as long as we were touching we were fine. Eventually we went to sleeping in the same room and then the same hallway and now not even that, but yes in the beginning it did seem we were lost without each other.

"I was at the house when Jasper gave her a birthday present…in April. I never brought it up because what do I care? You guys can call yourselves Fred and Ethel Mertz if it makes you happy."

"I love your humor, Bella." I said while I kissed her forehead. She shivered a little and I realized she still didn't have a jacket, just a thin sweater.

"I lied, Edward." she whispered. I panicked for a moment and looked into her eyes, but she spoke before I could. "I _did_ know I was lost, but I didn't think anyone cared." She finished still whispering.

"Oh Bella, you don't see yourself clearly."

"Well, one thing's for sure I don't see my feet clearly anymore." She peered down trying to see past her stomach and we both laughed.

"Speaking of, are you hungry?"

"No, I ate at work. Someone ordered strawberry French toast and I craved it all day."

"Well, that person must have good taste." I put my hands on her stomach and leaned over "You liked that didn't you little baby." I felt a kick, but I wasn't as shocked as I was last night.

"He likes your voice." I looked up at her and saw a few tears run down her cheek.

"Oh, what's wrong?" I asked my voice full of concern and maybe confusion as I wiped her tears away.

"I just never thought it would be like this. When I woke up this morning I thought maybe I had dreamt everything from last night." Her finger was lightly stroking my fingers.

"I know the feeling. I thought the same thing this morning." I noticed the clock and realized I was wasting her time. "How about we go home…to my house…and you can take a nap before work?"

"I can't. I have to go to Emily's and change and by then I won't have much time."

"No, I can go pick up your stuff while you sleep. Just call Emily and have her get your stuff ready and you can get some rest."

"I'm just supposed to sleep in your bed?"

"Yeah, no one is home. Well, Esme probably is, but she's either in her room or if she's feeling better then she's probably in the garden or something."

"Esme is your step-mom right?"

"Yeah, haven't you met her?"

"A couple of times, but Alice and Emmett call her 'mom'. Well, even Jasper and Rose call her mom. She's just one of those nurturing women that actually like all the kids calling them 'mom' unlike my mom that not only didn't mind, but I think actually preferred being called Renee…even by me."

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. It appeared that everyone in the free world, with the exception of myself, called Esme mom and besides that Bella's mom sounded like a bitch or at the very least a shitty mother.

"Bella, I know you will have worked all day, but I was thinking we could tell my father and Esme tonight."

"Well, I guess so. It's not something we can really put off any longer, but you get to do the talking since I had to face my parents alone, well mainly my father, so I'll just stand there and look huge" She was smiling, but I knew it was just a show.

I felt bad that I wasn't there for her before, but there was nothing I could about that shit now. I had to move on

"Here, you can use my phone to call Emily." I said while I handed over my cell phone as I drove down the road. "Oh hey, maybe she can pack you some extra clothes in case you want to stay the night."

"Ok maybe, but it depends on how the conversation with your parents goes."

"I'll take maybe." I said with a smirk.

***

I was waiting in the grocery store parking lot playing our chance encounter from the previous night in my head when the car door opened. She sat down looking completely beat.

"You have to quit one of these jobs. It's just too much for you and It's not good for the baby." Yeah, I said it and if I didn't know it was true I wouldn't have taken such a cheap shot, but I was genuinely concerned.

"I know. I'm going to put my two week notice in at the diner tomorrow."

"Shit Bella, do you work tomorrow?"

"No, I have the day off. I actually wanted to ask you something." She paused for a moment and was looking down at her hands and it took everything that I had not to scream as I waited for her to continue. "Well, I know you have school tomorrow, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go to my doctor's appointment with me." She finally looked up at me and had a hopeful look on her face.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but if you don't want to go or if you can't get out of school that's fine-"

"No, no Bella don't be silly. I want to go I was just surprised. Is everything ok?"

"Oh yeah, everything's fine it's just my six month check up."

"Well, that's good" I said relieved.

"Yeah, in the beginning I was afraid I was going to have a miscarriage because of the birth control pills I was taking and that's why I didn't tell you right away. Well, that and I was a big coward. I suppose if I was being honest I would say it was more of the latter."

"I don't want to think about all that shit, it's in the past." she nodded and was looking out her window as I drove home. "Well, I guess we have telling my dad and Esme to look forward to." I said sarcastically.

"Do you know what you're going to say?"

"No, not really. I'm just going to wing it." She looked appalled. "We're having a baby in three months. That's the gist of it so that's pretty much what I'm going with."

"Fine, just try to keep you're cussing to a bare minimum, please." I smiled and nodded. For anyone else I would have given a big 'fuck no', but she was right. I could at least make an effort to seem mature and responsible despite the fact that I was neither one of those things.

When we got home we discovered that Carlisle was called back into the hospital so we had been spared the big talk for the time being.

"Bella, if you want to stay the night it would be fine and we could go to your appointment tomorrow."

"I don't know, Edward. I don't want your parents to get mad."

"They won't care not that they'll even notice. Anyway, I was hoping that you would stay, I have a surprise for you because I knew you would be tired." She didn't seem to sure, but followed me upstairs anyway. I had a huge smile on my face like a kid who made breakfast for the mom on Mother's Day, but it ended up being something like burnt toast and cereal filled with water because the milk had been dropped and spilled all over the floor although I hoped that I had been more successful than that. "I know you've been on your feet all day so I thought maybe you would want to take a bath so I got a bunch of smelly, bubbly shit and this tub is awesome with jets and stuff. Oh, Alice is the one that gave me the candles and girly crap like pink razors and whatever. She said chicks dig taking baths with candles so whatever, I just hope you don't fall asleep." I gave a small laugh, but she just looked shocked. She took one of the bottles of soap and was looking at the label.

"Strawberry?"

"Yeah, you always smelled like strawberries and I'm surprised I didn't buy that shit before just to smell it." Oh my god, why did I say that that was so stalker weird.

"I've been using Emily's shampoo. It's smells like tea leaves or something." She said shyly.

"So, why don't you take your bath and I'll make you something to eat. I'm not very skilled so your choices are pretty much sandwich, canned soup, or ramen noodles."

"Ooh, how about peanut butter and jelly?"

"Sure, I can do that." I turned to leave, but she stopped me.

"Oh, grape jelly not strawberry."

"Ok" I'm sure we had both. Actually, I knew we have both because I bought both.

"Oh wait, and cut it in half, but diagonal not down the middle."

"Got it"

"Oh, and no crust"

"Sure"

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yes?" What else could I possibly do to a sandwich?

"Thank you." She said quietly as walked up to me and gave me a quick hug.

"You're welcome" She had the cutest little smile on her face and it made me smile too.

Making the sandwich proved to be harder than I thought. I had all the stuff I would need scattered all over the counter and I felt like I was getting ready to perform surgery rather than make a fucking sandwich. I ended up ripping up the bread with the butter knife trying to get the jelly to spread and then I deliberated for several minutes about whether I should use the chunky or smooth peanut butter. I didn't want to go ask so I decided on smooth because _I_ liked smooth and I also didn't feel like mutilating any more bread.

Finally, I had it all cut up to where it didn't look like much of a sandwich anymore, so I decided to make another one and by that time Alice had came in and gave me a weird look like I was doing some American Pie bullshit to the fucking sandwich.

"It's for Bella." I stated flatly as I was still not very happy with Alice's behavior today.

"Well, maybe you should put some other stuff with it."

"Yeah, like what?" I had specific instructions and those did not include side items.

"I don't know. Just put some other food groups on there, you know to be healthy. Like some fruit or cheese."

I guess that would make sense to be healthy so I put grapes, cheese, and baby carrots on there and hoped I wasn't supposed to do some crazy shit with that too because I really don't know what I would've done. I told Alice we would talk to her after we talked to dad and Esme which she agreed to and I headed upstairs to my room with the plate and a glass of water.

When I walked in Bella was walking out of the bathroom and shrieked out of surprise and I turned around because I was startled too and I wasn't sure why she was screaming.

"I, um, put you're bag in there so you would have your clothes." I said quickly and I still had my back to her.

"Oh, I was just surprised and yes I got my pajamas. They're just not quite what I would've chosen."

I turned around slowly and saw Bella standing there in tiny shorts that stopped right under her stomach which stuck out from the small tank top she had on that barely covered her stomach, but fit tightly on her breasts. Her hair was combed but still wet and hung messily on her shoulders. I wasn't sure if I should find her as sexy as I did, but I couldn't help it.

"I brought your sandwich and some other stuff because Alice said I should include the other food groups and water because I didn't know, but I could get something else." I knew I sounded like a moron, but I didn't care.

"No, that looks great. Do you want me to go in the other room?" She asked seriously.

"No, we can just sit on my bed."

"Ok, what side is mine?" She said with a smile as she pulled the blankets back.

"You can have the side that's against the wall."

"Ooh, good that's the side I wanted." She laughed and was still smiling and I was glad that things seemed to be going so well.

I handed her the plate and she started eating.

"Is it ok?"

"It's perfect. Thanks." She smiled again and I had to stop watching her eat because I thought it would be terribly inappropriate to get a boner at this exact moment.

I pulled out the book I was reading that happened to be the book that Bella was reading the day we got sent to the office. I wanted to see what it was about and in some weirdo, stalker way It made me feel like I was closer to her by reading the same words that she had read. I was so fucked in the head.

All of a sudden a grape landed on the book and I looked up to Bella who was eating and she shrugged her shoulders in the most convincing way like she really had no idea and I nearly believed her for a split second that grapes were falling from the ceiling.

"I think this is yours." I said tossing it back on her plate.

"I guess so" she said coyly." How's the book?"

"It's pretty good, but it's very ironic."

"Yes, it is but it has a happy ending."

I flipped the book down and said "Great, now I know what happens."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" She was full out bawling and I panicked. I was only joking. She just threw food at me and I was trying to joke back, fuck. I scooted closer to her held her tight.

"Bella, I was kidding. I don't care if you tell me the whole book. Honestly, what happens with that one dude is he always such an asshole?" This got her to laugh so that she was crying and laughing at the same time which was better than just crying and I laughed a little too.

"I don't think Reginald is an asshole. He's my favorite character." She paused for a second and after giving it some thought she continued. "Ok, maybe he is a little."

"That's better" I said wiping her tears away again, but now her smile was back.

"Sorry Edward, I get emotional sometimes." She sniffled and I took her plate to set down on the night table. She looked so tired and I knew she would have to be after all the work she had done today.

"Bella do you want me to sleep somewhere else?"

"No, I'm not going to kick you out of your own room."

"Well, do you want to sleep in the other room?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Honestly no, I think I'll sleep so good knowing you're here and safe."

"Ok, I'll stay, but I'll warn you that I get up to go to the bathroom every five minutes."

"I've been warned." I confirmed and to prove her point she got up and went into my bathroom and I tried not to watch her walk in there. From the back she looked the same, not pregnant, and from the front her stomach was just a perfectly round, little bulge.

I put a big pillow in the middle of the bed so I wouldn't hit her while I was sleeping or impale her with my morning wood. I wasn't accustomed to sharing a bed with anyone and was mildly afraid that I would roll over on her or something, but mainly it was the impaling thing.

She came back and started to crawl into the bed, but she abruptly stopped and leaned back into a sitting position not going any further.

"You can show me where the other room is." She said in a serious tone.

"What? Why? What did I do?"

"I get it. I'm a fat cow that's fine. I'll sleep in the other room and you won't have to look at me."

"What?" I looked down and saw the pillow. "Fuck Bella, you're not a fat cow. You're stomach is the only thing that's big on you and it's supposed to be. I just didn't want to hit you or something."

"Oh" She said looking quite embarrassed. "Did I mention I was really emotional?" She gave a weak smile and crawled back under the blankets.

"No, I don't believe you did and I haven't really noticed." I said playfully. "You know, If you feel uncomfortable you can wear one of my t-shirts or something."

"No, I get really hot when I'm asleep"

She already sounded half asleep as I turned off the light. She was on her side facing away from me and I couldn't help it I wanted her close to me, even two inches away in the same bed wasn't close enough.

"Come here Bella" I said while I wrapped my arms around her and she sleepily scooted closer and leaned her head on my chest. I felt her breathing become rhythmic and I could tell she was asleep. I slowly moved out from under her and laid her gently on the bed as I got up to change my clothes. Once I had put on pajamas that consisted of flannel pants and a black t-shirt and had brushed my teeth I climbed back in bed. Everything that I cared about was right here next to me.

I didn't want to move her so I just laid next to her, but then I scooted down and put my hands on her stomach. I kissed the spot where it seemed he always kicked and I said "I love you, baby". I crawled back up to my pillow where Bella's hair was fanned out and in my face, but I didn't care. I fell asleep with my hand on her stomach and the smell of strawberries all around me.

**BPOV**

The light from the bathroom shone over my closed eyes and I heard the door shut. The next thing I knew I felt Edward's weight shift the mattress as he climbed back into bed. It was like one of my best dreams and I feared that I would wake up and be back in Jacksonville. I kept my eyes shut but felt the warm tingle of Edward's hand on my stomach.

I loved when he touched my stomach and the baby loved it too, like he knew that his dad was there and it made me want to cry, but not as much as when I heard the quiet whisper of Edward's voice "I love you , baby".

It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard and for the first time in a long time I felt like things might just be ok.

I woke up and my throat was so dry. I crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom. I had only been asleep a couple of hours and I was quiet so to not wake Edward who was still sleeping soundly.

I crept down the stairs careful not to break my neck in the dark. I fumbled around in the kitchen cabinets until I found a glass and poured myself some orange juice. I put the carton back in the large, stainless steel fridge and as I turned around I gasped and then turned beet red when I realized what I was wearing.

"Oh my gosh, Dr. Cullen. I'm sorry I didn't know anyone else was up and I didn't want to wake Alice so I came down and I'm incredibly indecent. I'm going to go…" I concluded my rambling by excusing myself from this embarrassing hell.

"No, Bella, it's fine. I didn't realize that you were…um…with child."

"Yes, I am" That was the best response I had since it looked like I had swallowed a watermelon and my shirt only covered half of me.

"Ow" I put my hand on my stomach as he kicked several times. It seemed he always had the great timing to do his Tai Bo at night and I hoped when he was actually born that he wouldn't still be so active at night. Yeah, wishful thinking there I'm sure.

"Are you ok?" Dr. Cullen was concerned. It sounded more parental than professional, but I guess I wouldn't know much about the difference since my parents had been the exact opposite of parental.

"I'm fine. He just kicks so hard."

"Oh, it's a boy?" Why does everyone question me when I say that? Do I say it like I'm not sure or do people do that to everyone.

"Well, I haven't been able to get a sonogram, but I've had dreams." I took a drink of my juice even though I knew that it would probably hype him up more.

"Do you mind?" He held his hand out and I shook my head.

"No go ahead. I'm quite the novelty lately." I laughed and the baby knew when a hand was invading his space and he promptly kicked it.

"That's just amazing. You know I haven't felt that since My wife was pregnant with Edward. I mean when my _first_ wife was pregnant with the _twins_."

"It's ok she told me."

"Really? I'm surprised."

"Yeah, well it kind of came up." I said motioning with my head down towards my stomach and continued to drink my juice.

"Oh, I didn't realize that you were…"

"I'm not," I said sternly. "Like I said it just came up in conversation. She thought it was important for me to know."

"I see, so the father is supportive then."

"Yes, he's come around." Carlisle hadn't moved his hand because the baby would move and tempt him to keep it there and as if in a hooray for juice he kicked one more time pretty hard and we both laughed.

"What's going on?" I heard a deep voice from the doorway and nearly dropped my glass.

"It's not what it looks like." Carlisle stated calmly.

"Really because it looks like you have your hands all over a half naked, pregnant teenager in your kitchen." Edward stated firmly.

"Well, then it's exactly what it looks like I suppose."

Dr. Cullen's hand had long since fallen from my stomach and I tugged my shirt down as far as it would go as I took off with the glass still in my hand. "I'm going back to Alice's room, goodnight." I mumbled and brushed past Edward, but never looked up at him.

**EPOV**

There was a moment of silence after Bella left the room and we just stared at each other for a moment.

"It's yours isn't it?" Carlisle asked calmly remaining composed.

"Yes, we were going to tell you tonight, but you weren't home so we planned to tell you tomorrow." He didn't look too convinced, but he didn't look too angry either.

"How long has thing been going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"How long have you been sneaking her in?"

"There was no sneaking about it. We walked right through the front door and it hasn't happened before. Actually, last night when she was here for dinner was the first time she's been here with me." He gave me a look like 'obviously not'. "Like I said I haven't been sneaking her in here."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"It's complicated, but we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Yes, well I suppose we will. I assume that Bella's parents are aware."

"They are."

"But?"

"But their assholes apparently. You know Bella's been gone for a couple of months. Well, lets just say that Chief Swan found out a couple of months ago."

"I see."

"Yes, well we fully intend on keeping the baby which they obviously don't support."

"I'm sure they'll come around eventually and you know you have our full support with whatever you decide."

"Well, we've decided." I said firmly and he gave a small nod. "I'm going to go make sure she's ok."

"She's fine. Aren't you, Bella?"

She slowly walked back in and concealed herself behind me clutching my shirt and leaning her head against me.

"Bella, you're welcome to stay here and we'll talk about everything tomorrow. Get some rest and Edward, I'll call you when I'm on my way home from the hospital."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen it really means a lot to me." She said timidly from where she still stood behind me.

"Of course, don't be ridiculous. You can stay here as long as you'd like and really Bella, how many times have I told you to call me Carlisle?"

"A lot" she admitted with a laugh.

We were walking up the stairs to my room and we still had our arms wrapped around each other when she looked up and whispered "Good job."

"At what?"

"You only said one bad word and I don't even disagree with it considering the context." She smiled and we paused on the stairs as I bent down and kissed her briefly. I felt like a little kid that just got a pat on the head from his mommy. Praise from her was enough to make me want to cut the crust off fucking sandwiches and not cuss. Well, at least the crust one…that was easy enough.

**BPOV**

It was easier to fall asleep after the impromptu discussion with Carlisle.

We were finally accepted.

I had always felt attached to this baby even early on and I couldn't fathom why anyone would want me to get rid of this little person, but after awhile it seemed like I was the odd one, the only one that felt differently. I've felt this way for such a long time, until now.

I had wanted this for so long. For Edward to want me, the baby, to feel the way for me that I did for him. But, I wasn't sure that he did. Even after I told him about the baby and his poor response, I still missed him, his voice, the way it felt when he touched me. I couldn't help it and I still had all the feelings I always did for Edward, but deep down I feared that it was only his sense of duty that pulled him to me, but when I felt his touch I wouldn't let myself believe it.

I knew when I left his house that night in January that he wasn't his normal self and then when I ran into Alice on the porch when I was leaving she had confirmed it by telling me what he had been doing. She was almost as distraught as I was. I told myself that when I talked to him again the conversation would go much differently…better, but I never got that chance.

My dreams drifted off into the time after I left Edward's house. The confrontation by Charlie, the never ending pressure from Renee, and the past two months swirled in my head.

I awoke screaming, like I often did.

**EPOV**

Bella nuzzled against my chest and I could feel that she was more relaxed as I held her in my arms. I know that most people, Bella's parents in particular, would call this situation wrong, but nothing had ever felt more right. I would never let her go again. She sighed contently and wrapped her fingers around my shirt and I believed that she felt the same. I fell asleep more at peace than I've been in a long time…no ever.

After awhile she began to stir and I was pulled from my dream by her mumbling about the baby until she outright screamed and jolted up into a sitting position. After a moment she calmed and collapsed backwards as she let out an exhausted breath.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you that I have nightmares. I just thought they would go away…especially now."

"Now?"

"Now that I'm away from Renee who made it her personal mission to give away my baby." She said glumly.

"Bella-" I started in agitated tone because I was beginning to believe that her mother was both shitty _and_ a bitch.

"Oh, I meant _our_ baby, sorry."

"No Bella, that's not what I was going to say." I let out an exasperated sigh because it didn't matter what I was going to say. Bella had gone through hell…alone because of me because I wasn't there for her. "Bella, I'll never forgive myself for not being there for you. Not if I live a hundred thousand years."

She placed her small finger on my lips before I could continue. "Shh, I don't want to think about all that shit." She said quietly, repeating my words from earlier.

"You're probably tired." I said when her finger finally fell from my mouth.

"I don't think I can fall asleep again."

"Well then, let me show you what I do when I can't sleep."

She reluctantly followed wearing my robe which for some reason I found extremely, fucking hot.

"You play?" She asked as we stopped in front of my piano.

"Well, I'm not going to climb on it and go to sleep." I said jokingly, but then feared that she was going to start crying again. Luckily she didn't. She conceded with a small laugh and sat next to me.

I began to play as she rested her head on my shoulder. I let the song that I always played flow out and I put every ounce of feeling that I had when I wrote it into playing it this first time in its entirety. I knew she was there, but I played like she wasn't because that's what this song meant, what it spoke of…the time when she was gone.

I felt drops of water on my arm and realized they weren't drops of water, but tears. I looked briefly over at her, but continued to let my fingers find the familiar keys that went to this song. "It's so sad" she mumbled and when I finished she let out a big sigh.

"That was beautiful like a story…like an opera or something." She said in an emotional tone as she wiped her tears away with the sleeve of my robe that she was still wearing.

"Well, it _is_ like a story. I started composing it right after you left and finished it last night."

"Wow, you wrote that? About us?" She asked motioning her fingers between the two of us.

"Yeah, but I'm hoping I can write a happier one next time." I said honestly.

"The ending was happy." She offered.

"No, Bella." I whispered while I shook my head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "That wasn't the end it was just the beginning." I whispered in her ear and let my lips brush against her cheek as I moved to her mouth. We had barely kissed all day and I was hungry for her taste on my tongue.

Her hand took its usual place in my hair and I slid her over easily on the bench until she was pressed up against me. My hands when into the robe and caressed the warm skin of her back. She moaned slightly into my mouth. I moved my hands until they securely held the sides of her face. Our kisses deepened, my lips hungrily crashed into hers. Sucking and running my tongue along her lips until it was met by her tongue and they touched and licked and moved in such a sensual way that I could barely contain my thoughts of laying her on the top of the piano and taking her right here.

We broke our kiss, both of us out of breath. Her hand still loosely in my hair and one of my hands was still lightly on her cheek and we smiled. No words were spoken because none were needed or maybe none were wanted.

Both of us unwillingly to move she merely put her head back on my shoulder and I turned slightly back towards the piano and began playing something else. Something that I actually enjoyed to play and it just came naturally as my fingers wandered along the keys without a second thought. I was actually thinking about Bella next to me her little contented sigh, the feel of her breath on my skin, the warm tingle of her skin on mine I barely thought about the notes at all.

"Claire de Lune?"

"Is there anything you don't know?" I asked casually as my hands continued gliding along the piano keys.

"There are things" she said tiredly.

"It's late we should go to bed."

"I think it's early. The sun is starting to come up." She said quietly while looking towards the window.

"Yes, it is. How early is you're appointment? We may not be able to get any more sleep."

"It's not until eleven o'clock. Maybe you should go to school for a couple of hours." She teased.

"Or maybe we should curl up in my comfy ass bed."

"You're bed is comfy. It's all soft and you have the thickest, puffiest blankets and a million pillows." She was speaking so fondly of my fucking bed that it was only making me more tired.

"Actually _my _Bella, there's only four pillows and I personally only came to the opinion that it was comfortable recently…and only when you're in it."

"Oh, well all I know is it's way better than Emily's couch."

"So, you'll stay?"

"I want to, but I think we should talk about some things first." She yawned.

"Ok, we'll talk later and maybe we can talk about a name and then we can call _him _something other than 'baby'."

"Ok" she said as we walked into my room.

"Edward, I'm sorry about what I said." she said laying her head on my chest and letting her arm drape across my chest like it was second nature and not something new, but I believed it was second nature for us…this is where we belonged.

"You didn't say anything." I said completely relaxed as my fingers ran through her hair.

"You were right it was a shitty thing to say and I don't regret it. I don't regret you, I never could." and then she was asleep.

I regretted a lot of things that surrounded Bella. The bet, the time I wasn't with her when I should've been, pushing her away when she told me she was pregnant so many things about her, but not her…never her.

I fell asleep with my face on the top of her head smelling her hair. My favorite way to fall asleep.

________________________________________________________________________

**A/N - **

**Doctor's appointment next chapter and some other fun stuff!!!**

**Strawberry French toast is fucking fantastic.**

**Alice - She doesn't really have 'visions' of Bella or anything, but she had an intuition that told her to not go to the grocery store and she felt drawn to go to the diner. **

**So, there you have it Alice was adopted. The hints in the story include the thing that Edward says about Alice always deserved to have a mother, he never refers to her as his twin, and in another chapter he said something like 'we were inseparable from the moment we laid eyes on each other or at least that's what we were told' he doesn't say since the womb or since we were born, and then of course the photo. **

**The barrage of questions are actual questions that I know adoptive moms have gotten from strangers basically in the super market. I even know someone who had two babies and when she said they weren't twins that they were adopted someone said "Well, how did you get two when some people can't even adopt one?". I swear some people are so rude. That's an interesting question, but still it was a stranger out in public for goodness sake what is she the equal opportunity for babies police?**

**The being inseparable and connection between Edward and Alice is because I felt they had a connection in Twilight. I guess that was because of their 'gifts', but a connection all the same so I wanted to carry that over to this story. The whole crib thing is similar to something my mom and her twin did, but they were older and actual twins. I didn't realize that until now, but I guess that's where I got it from.**

**Fred and Ethel Mertz - If you don't know please tell me so I can laugh at you and tell you you're too young to read this…j/k. No biggie, Google knows everything. **

**The impaling thing - should be a band name or something**

**Tai Bo - Work out video by Billy Blanks**

**The piano - when he was talking about sleeping on it, that actually happened with my piano. My friend, right after I moved, actually slept on my piano. I'm not sure if it was more of laid on it than slept, but she likes to tell the story as she slept on it so whatev. **

*****The ending seems hunky dory doesn't it? Well, Bella hasn't felt safe for a long time and now she does, so yes she is all over Edward, but remember they have been skirting around the big topics of discussion so we'll be talking about important stuff next chapter.**

**Long ass notes…sorry**


	12. Chapter 12 The Understanding

**Disclaimer - I do not own anything related to Twilight, but I do take credit for the unrelated and crazy shit that is purely TB.**

**A/N - **

**Sorry for the delay. I had to update my other story that I had neglected for awhile and then I was on holiday. If that wasn't enough my internet then totes effed up (thank you Nazi Comcast). **

**Contest winner cameo this chapter. Congrats auroraluna1, AKA Lisa, whose name I misspelled last time (oops). *New contest see below!**

**Thank you lovely readers and Beta Lulu!**

**This chapter is hella long. Enjoy!**

***Right where we left off.**

Chapter 12

The Understanding

* * *

**Previously on TB - **

_I regretted a lot of things that surrounded Bella. The bet, the time I wasn't with her when I should've been, pushing her away when she told me she was pregnant so many things about her, but not her…never her._

_I fell asleep with my face on the top of her head smelling her hair. My favorite way to fall asleep._

* * *

**EPOV**

I opened my eyes unwillingly, but couldn't help the huge smile that covered my face. I loved holding Bella like this. I loved her sleeping on me. I loved her voice and her laugh and especially her smile. I loved the way she smelled and the feeling that radiated on my skin from her touch. I loved _her_ plain and simple, she was my life now. Her and the baby meant everything to me.

I kissed her forehead before laying her gently on the warm spot of the bed where I was just laying.

It was still really early, but I wanted to catch my father before he left for the hospital. When I entered the kitchen all eyes were on me. Esme was at the stove, Alice was sitting at the island eating breakfast, and my dad was filling his mug with coffee and it looked like he was getting ready to head out the door.

"Hey Dad, Bella has an appointment today and I'm driving her, so can you call me in to school?" He just nodded at me and I turned to see Esme giving me a peculiar look. "So, I guess no one has filled you in?" She shook her head and looked around, but Alice and my father were avoiding eye contact with her in such a conspicuous way that it made me roll my eyes at them.

"It wasn't my place." my father said quietly to me. I thought this was a good of a time as any, so I took it as my cue to fill her in.

"Well Esme, my quasi girlfriend is pregnant so we'll be having a baby in three months." She just stood there shocked, so my father spoke instead.

"I thought Bella would want to be in on the announcement."

"I don't think so. She already gave me the full duty of talking and personally I think she's terrified. I really think she thought you were going to be pissed off and I'm just glad that it went the way it did last night."

"Well, it's not an ideal situation to say the least, but getting angry about it isn't going to solve anything."

"Yeah, well apparently her parents didn't get that memo." I said smugly.

"Your father's right, Edward. There's no use in getting upset, so I'm happy for you and Bella. I've always thought she was a nice girl."

"Yeah, probably too nice to be Edward's 'quasi' girlfriend." Alice said in a mocking tone with air quotes and all.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I retorted angrily.

"It means _I_ wouldn't want to be your girlfriend." She shot back.

"Duh, you're my sister." I swiped a piece of jellied toast off her plate and leaned against the wall to eat it.

"That's not what I meant. If _I_ was Bella, I wouldn't want to be your girlfriend." She said it quietly, more like a secret than an insult even though it didn't feel that way.

I thought about it for a second and before I yelled something nasty back at her I realized that I wouldn't want to be my girlfriend either, I mean if I was Bella, so I couldn't really blame Bella if it were to turn out that she didn't want to be my girlfriend.

"Whatever Alice, I made mistakes but that was before -"

"Before you knew she was pregnant?" She replied in an accusatory tone.

"Yes and no. Yes, I made mistakes before I knew, but I also loved her before I knew, so fuck off Alice." My voice was low and harsh out of anger, but my attention was caught by the collective gasp and I flinched at the sound. "Yeah, sorry Alice I didn't mean to drop the f bomb so early in the fucking morning. Shit. Never mind." Everyone looked at me like I was an alien and I didn't care for it much, but then I realized that the gasp wasn't for the early morning cussing.

"Since when do you apologize for swearing?" Alice asked with her eyes narrowed on me.

"Since now, since I'm going to be a father, hell I don't know Alice." She gave my father her all knowing glance and got up to leave, but stopped when she was next to me.

"There's something on my bed for Bella." She said without looking at me.

"Do I even want to know what it is?"

"I don't know, but you'll know when you need it, so just send her in." Then she walked out the door and reached the driveway at the precise moment that Jasper pulled up.

"That is so irritating." I mumbled as I went back into my room.

"You're one to speak" I heard my father say as I was leaving. I was usually pretty in tune with what people were thinking except for Bella that is. I usually didn't have a clue as to what the hell was going on in her head.

I walked into my bedroom to see Bella standing there in a t-shirt and nothing else but her panties.

"Um, Bella? You have no pants on."

"Really? Because I didn't notice." She said in a very short tone and then threw her self on the bed so that her leg was over a pillow and her face was buried in the same pillow. I could see her entire pink panty clad ass and I had to look away.

"Well, since you were screaming your head off yesterday about your pajamas I thought maybe…well, I don't know what I thought, but you clearly don't have pants and eventually you will need to." Captain Obvious has spoken, over and out.

"Yes, _clearly_ I don't have pants on. You want to ask me why?"

"No." I wasn't stupid, I wanted no part in this discussion.

"Yeah, go ahead -"

"No thank you. I'm sure-"

"Just fucking ask why I don't have pants on!"

"Bella, why don't you have pants on?"

"Well, thank you for asking Edward, because none fit me that's why! I have nothing to wear and I'm not going." Shit, what the fuck was I supposed to say that? I was getting ready to panic when I remembered something.

"Bella, Alice left you something on her bed. You should go check it out."

"I don't even fit into my pants." She blubbered into the pillow.

I laid down next to her so that I was behind her and I whispered in her ear. "Bella, you're so beautiful and I happen to not mind if you ever wear pants."

She started laughing, slapped my arm, and I believed she mumbled something like 'obviously'.

"Bella, you should go look on Alice's bed."

"Why?"

"I don't know. She didn't explain and I didn't question. It _is_ Alice after all."

"That's true." She agreed and walked out of the room still pantless.

I let out a tired sigh and wondered if I could survive three more months of this.

Bella walked back in wearing a dark purple dress that wrapped around in the front which showed off a nice amount of cleavage, but still had enough room for her growing stomach. She had on black shoes that didn't have a heel which I was glad for because Bella was too clumsy for that shit.

"See, I knew I liked you without pants." I said with a big smile as I took in how beautiful she looked and she smiled back. Emergency diverted. Thank you, Alice.

"I can tell." She said motioning towards her stomach which was better than her motioning towards my hard on.

"Oh shush, you look beautiful. I guess I'm not so mad at Alice anymore."

"Yes, well I feel pretty bad about yesterday."

"You can talk to her later." She nodded in agreement.

"Bella, I hope it's ok, but I told Esme about the baby this morning because I was talking to my dad and I thought he would have already told her. We're still going to talk about everything tonight."

"That's fine. What did she say?"

"She said she was happy for us and that she thinks your nice."

"Really?"

"Yeah Bella, they said there was no use in getting mad and we'll talk about everything tonight." She nodded her head and sat on the bed. She motioned for me to sit next to her and I did, taking her hand into mine.

"I just wanted to thank you for last night, for what you said to Carlisle." She wasn't really looking at me, only down at my hand, as she drew circles on it with her finger. The sensation sent tingles up my spine and I had to make a very conscious effort to concentrate on her words.

"What do you mean?"

"When you said _we_ had made our decision about the baby. I know that I made a decision much different than yours and that you didn't have to accept it and -" Her eyes were getting teary and I didn't want to hear anymore.

"Bella stop. What I said that night wasn't my decision, it was my biggest mistake. I'm glad you didn't listen to me Bella, I meant what I said about realizing my mistake and wanting to be there for you and I would've been regardless. That's why I was looking for you, so don't think for one second that I'm just going along with _your _decision because I don't have a choice. I do have a choice and I choose you, I will always choose you. If I hadn't been such a jackass it would've been _our_ decision." I had only succeeded in making her cry more, but I held her in my arms until she calmed down.

"I guess you need to get ready so we can leave." She said weakly after awhile.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take a quick shower. Go ahead and go downstairs and get something to eat. Esme might be here, but I think she already left for some bored, rich wife function." She gave me a quizzical look "You know book club or gardening club, some shit like that." She nodded and left the room. I hope that she didn't take that the wrong way because Esme did a lot of good stuff with her spare time too and it wasn't that she was unwillingly to work or anything. She was just as wealthy as my father, if not more, when they met. She had a lucrative career and came from a wealthy family and I only knew this because I had made an ass of myself by telling my father he should get a prenup. The truth was I didn't know much about Esme, but I hadn't ever really taken the opportunity to find out either.

**BPOV**

I went downstairs and saw Esme getting ready to leave as she was grabbing her purse and car keys.

"Oh Bella, it's so good to see you and you look so lovely!" Before I could react I was embraced in her arms and I felt myself holding her a little tighter and resting my head on her shoulder a little more than just a casual hug. It was how I wish my mother would have hugged me and I had to fight back the tears.

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen. I'm glad I got to see you before you left." I said honestly.

"Oh nonsense, you can call me Esme. I'm glad I got to see you too" She said while patting my stomach. I really wasn't lying about the novelty thing. "I will talk to you tonight and hopefully we'll get a chance to chat before Carlisle gets home."

"Yes, that would be nice."

She pointed out some leftovers on the stove before she left and I made a plate for myself and one for Edward because I wasn't sure if he had eaten. I warmed it up in the microwave, made some toast, poured some orange juice, and when everything was ready I went up to tell Edward there was food for him if he wanted it.

I went into his room without knocking because I didn't think about it, but froze when I saw him standing there in his boxers contemplating over two outfits. Something that would've looked rather feminine if he wasn't standing there in all his muscular glory. There were still beads of water on his back from his shower and the sun from the window glistened off of it, making his skin look shiny. Everything about him was lean and fit and I had an incredible urge to lick the water right off his skin. He turned around and I got a better look at his wet hair that was a little more tame as it was weighed down with water, but still looked like messy perfection. I think the blood had left my face and I was standing there with my mouth agape.

"Does this bother you?"

"Yes?" It bothered me in the way that I had very much wanted to go to my doctor's appointment with clean underwear on and that was becoming less likely by the second. So, yes I was very bothered…and hot. Hot and bothered. "I mean no. I'm sorry I didn't knock, but I just wanted to tell you that I warmed up some food for you too in case you were hungry."

"Oh, thanks Bella. I'll be down in a second." I nodded and turned to leave but hesitated.

"Wear that one." I pointed at the outfit that I thought would look best on him or rather the floor. Oh for the love of God, I really needed to quit being so dirty.

I ran back down the stairs a little quicker than I should have for fear if I stayed near that room any longer I would pummel Edward's mostly naked body onto the bed and miss my appointment.

I sat there eating my scrambled eggs and hash browns, but I was staring off into space thinking about the way Edward had looked standing there only in his boxers with the ripples of his stomach glistening with water, his biceps flexing as he reached for one outfit, but then reached for the other, and last but not least his bulging cock begging to get out of that little peep hole that teased me with barely a glimpse of anything. Well, there goes my clean underwear.

I went to go upstairs to remedy my underwear problem, while still lost in thought, and I ran into something hard, but I was caught before I fell. I looked up to see Edward's face and by see I mean maul. I kissed him hard and passionately like I couldn't get enough much like the kisses that we shared in the weight room. I felt my leg inching up behind him. One of his arms was still securely around my back and the other one hooked under my leg holding it in place. After I crashed him into the wall I pulled away before I molested him anymore.

"I'm…um…going to go freshen up." I said clearly meaning my underpants while I wiped my mouth and straightened my dress. I walked away like I didn't just sexually assault someone against the wall.

When I returned to the kitchen Edward was just finishing his food. I took my plate, cleared it, and put it and my glass in the dishwasher then took Edward's empty plate and glass and did the same.

"You don't have to do that you know."

"I know, but there's no sense in leaving a mess."

"Who says I wouldn't have picked them up?"

"Have you ever even worked the dishwasher before?" I asked with a smirk and my eyebrows raised.

"You can't answer a question with a question." His tone was slightly agitated, but I kept smiling at him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know the rules." I said with a big smile on my face because I had clearly gotten my answer. "So, are we ready to go?"

"Sure are"

We didn't say anything for the first few minutes of the car ride, but then he turned and smiled at me.

"You're hair looks really pretty."

"Oh, thanks I put some clips in it." I said while I gingerly touched the little barrettes in my hair. Obviously I put clips in it. It wasn't holding itself back and I scolded myself internally for sounding so lame.

I explained how to get to the doctor's office and then there were a few more minutes of silence.

"I'm really glad we're going together." I said quietly.

"Me too" He replied while taking my hand in his.

We walked into the doctor's office, hand in hand, and after I checked in and we took a seat that was close to the door that I knew the nurse would come out of. I grabbed a magazine and I noticed the look on Edward's face as he looked at all the magazines with pregnant women on them.

"The manly magazines are over there." I pointed to a small basket where there were fishing and auto magazines and I smiled thinking of how Jake would sit there and tell me random stuff he read while we waited. I made a mental note that I would call him tonight as I hadn't talked to him for a few days.

"Isabella Swan" The nurse called out. I flinched a little because I hated when my full name was used.

We got up and followed the nurse to the scale of doom, which I no longer looked at, and then went into the exam room. Edward turned around while I put on the paper gown and I sat on the exam table to wait for the doctor.

**EPOV**

I didn't quite know what to expect, but I sat there fidgeting until the doctor walked in.

"Bella, it's so good to see you again. I only just received your records that were sent from the other doctor's office, but everything's been going well?"

"Yes, everything's been fine, Dr. Robertson and this is Edward Cullen…the baby's father."

"Oh, how nice to meet you." She said as she shook my hand. "And Dr. Robertson is my father. Please, call me Dr. Lisa." I let out a small laugh while she was writing something in the chart.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, I just thought it was funny because my father is a doctor also. He fully plans for me to attend his alma mater and follow in his footsteps."

"Yes, I definitely understand that, but I love what I do so I can't complain." She paused briefly while she took some paper work out and handed it to me. "Fill these out regarding family history and I'll get Bella's vitals."

I filled out the papers while I saw the doctor out of the corner of my eye using the blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. When I was almost done with the paperwork a loud thumping sound filled the room and my head turned quickly towards Bella. She had a huge smile on her face. It truly was beautiful.

"Hearing the baby's heartbeat is my favorite part." Her smile was radiant and I smiled back squeezing her hand in mine.

I stayed next to her when the doctor did the pelvic exam and Bella looked really uncomfortable, but I whispered in her ear while I smoothed back the hair on her forehead and it seemed to relax her. The doctor said everything looked great and she would see us back in a month.

After that we went down the hall to the office of the dietician or nutritionist or whatever the hell she called herself. Bella said she was anemic for awhile and they still checked her iron level. I assumed that was why she had looked so sick, but she said it was better, now that she wasn't vomiting all the time and could keep her vitamins down.

She made a pretty big fuss over a little finger prick, saying that she couldn't stand the smell of blood. I thought it was usually the _sight _of blood that freaked people out, but whatever this was Bella after all.

We started to make our way out of the office and Bella was still leaning against me as we walked and frowning at her bandaged finger. The only thing that could've made her look any more childish was if her bandage was covered in cartoon characters.

"Bella, are you hungry? I thought we could go get some lunch."

"Oh, I'm still kind of full from breakfast and nauseous from smelling the blood."

"Well, how about we do something first?" I asked with a big grin on my face.

"Like what?"

"We could go to the Seattle Art Museum if you don't mind walking around."

"No, that sounds like fun."

"Have you ever been there?"

"No, I haven't, but I've wanted to go." She said smiling up at me and I opened her car door and shut it behind her.

We walked around the museum for a couple of hours looking at all the different artwork. Bella would make insightful and thought provoking remarks about each painting or sculpture. Listening to her was almost more entertaining than what was on display and true to what she had said when talking about my drawing, she really didn't care for the non-representational or abstract paintings, but would still say something positive about each one we passed anyway.

We were getting ready to leave to go the restaurant that I had in mind all day and I was pulling out of the parking space when Bella spoke up.

"Oh, can we stop at the pharmacy I need to pick up my vitamins? It's right up this street." She pointed in the direction and I knew what pharmacy she was talking about.

I pulled up and she said she would be right back and took off to go in the drug store. There was a seedy character standing by the door and I was far too protective and/or paranoid to feel comfortable with her going in alone. She'd been alone for far too long, she didn't need to be now.

After she was in the store I followed behind. I was walking through the aisles and saw the line to pick up prescriptions was pretty long so I started walking around aimlessly and browsing through the various aisles. Somehow I ended up in the aisle with all the baby products. I took in all the diapers and wipes and various bottles and things that looked like chew toys until my eyes fell on the bibs. There was one that said "I Love My Mommy" and I smiled when I saw it and thought of Bella's beautiful smile when we were listening to the baby's heartbeat.

I chose one that was light green with yellow ducks on it and went to the front registers to pay as I saw Bella was still in the line at the back of the store.

I quickly made my way back out to the car and stashed the bib. A moment later I saw Bella walking out, her eyes were down as she was messing with the bag she was carrying. Her hair was dancing in the breeze and I couldn't remember seeing a more beautiful woman.

"Ok, we're all set." She said with a smile as she dropped the bag to the floor.

"You know after we eat we could get you some maternity clothes, not that I mind your pantless fits on my bed." I said with a big grin.

"I don't know. It just seems like a waste of money for things that I'm only going wear for few months."

"Yeah, so what's the alternative? You can spend the next three months in my sweat pants if you like."

"I still don't know."

"How about this. After the baby is born you can donate the clothes to the women's shelter or the pregnancy crisis center or wherever you like."

"Well, that sounds like a good idea." She admitted and I could tell she was liking the idea a little better.

"Ok, we're here." I pulled up to a very nice Italian restaurant that I knew my father liked to take Esme to and I thought it was the perfect place to bring Bella.

"Wow, this place looks lovely."

"Not as lovely as you." I said as I took her hand and helped her out of the car.

She blushed and looked down for a moment as we walked in.

I scolded her when she tried to order soda because the nutrition lady clearly said to limit carbonated, caffeinated shit. Of course I'm paraphrasing, but in the end Bella got no soda and when she tried to order mushroom ravioli I scolded her again because if her iron level was such an issue she should eat something with protein in it. Bella did not look too amused sitting there drinking water and eating braised beef and tortellini. She stuck a forkful of the beef in her mouth and gave me a look like _'There are you happy?'. _As a matter of fact I was.

"How's your food?"

"Well, it's no mushroom ravioli, but I suppose it'll do. See, if I bring you to the doctor's again." She grumbled while she chewed her food.

"I believe _I_ brought _you_." I said while I failed in hiding the sadness in my voice.

"I'm kidding, Edward. I'm still glad that you were with me."

We ate our food in silence for a little while until she started talking again.

"So, we're supposed to talk about names?" She said with a big smile.

"Yes, I'll be glad when we can call him something besides 'baby'."

"I've always had a name for him." She said with a shrug.

"Really, what?"

"EJ" She said while taking another bite.

"Does it stand for something?" I asked slowly not knowing if I wanted to know or not.

"Well, sure. It stands for Edward Junior."

"Edward Junior?" I asked in disbelief.

"Were you expecting something else?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes"

"Altogether or just when I said what EJ stood for?"

"Both?" It came out like a question, but it was definitely both.

"Well, like I said in my dreams he looks like you, so I just started calling him that. What did you think it stood for?"

"I really didn't know."

"I bet you had a guess for the 'J'. That's ok, Jacob did too. Actually, he hadn't given up on that yet and begging is not beneath him nor is bribery. For the record, I was one pint of ice cream away from changing it." She said with a laugh. She was just joking…I think.

"I thought you said you didn't have a name for him."

"Oh, that just started as a nickname. I think we should pick together, but don't guys usually want to name their first born son after them?"

"I don't know. Maybe if they had a cool name, but I hate my name. It's like an old person's name and it pisses me off when people call me Eddie, that's just stupid." I said the last part under my breath all the while hearing Tanya's shrill voice in my memory.

"Ok, so EJ is out. What do you think?"

"EJ doesn't have to be out. We could come up with something else with those letters."

"No really, it was just a nickname. We can pick something else."

I had vaguely thought about baby names when I would let my mind wander and believe that she kept it. I really didn't think I'd have an opportunity to put them to use. "What do you think about Joseph?"

"It's nice. What about the middle name?"

"Abraham" I said unsure of myself.

"Oh, I like it. Very biblical."

"That's not what I was going for." I said with a frown.

"Then what were you going for? Are they family names?"

"No, never mind."

"Never mind? Why never mind? I really want to know."

"Well, I like Joseph because we can call him Joey -"

"Like the guy from that show who was always getting with different chicks?"

"No. Joey like a baby kangaroo."

"A baby kangaroo?" She asked slowly like she believed her reason more than the one I offered.

"Sure, I saw a picture of one and they look so cute in their mom's pouch…so happy." I looked down at my food and took another bite even though I was full I just didn't want to see her think I was crazy.

"I like it, but why Abraham?"

"Abraham Lincoln" I said.

"Ok" she said like 'I'm supposed to know what that means?'.

"The Battle Hymn of The Republic reminds me of you and I associate it with Abraham Lincoln. I know it's stupid. We can name him whatever you want. Something hip and cool like Zane or Maverick."

"Those are stupid. I like your pick. Joey Abe it is." I shook my head. "I know, Joseph Abraham. It's perfect." She said honestly.

I was happy. We had picked the name for the baby. Well, _I_ picked the name for the baby it seemed. "Bella, you didn't pick any of it. Maybe we can switch one of the names to something you want."

"I want that name. You picked a perfect name, I don't need to change anything."

I was so happy I reached across the table and held her hand and I looked into her eyes. The waitress came and laid the check down on the table and smiled at us. "You guys are such a cute couple. Newlyweds?"

"No, we're not-"

"We're not newlyweds. It's actually been almost two years now." Bella's face turned down in a scowl.

"Oh, well my husband and I have been married 32 years so anything under a decade is newlywed to me." She said with a laugh and patted my shoulder before she walked away.

"Why did you do that? I swear between you and Jacob people are going to think I'm a polygamist!"

"Bella, it's ok" I said kissing her head as we walked out. It seemed to calm her down and she leaned against me as we walked. "So, are you up for stopping at the store for pants that fit you?"

"No" She said as she sulked in the passenger's seat.

"That's fine. Alice can bring you up here another day. She loves to shop. She could shop all day. Well, she usually _does _shop all day." I said with a laugh as I knew that to be a fact.

"On second thought, we're already here. We can run in and grab a pair of pants."

"Sounds good." I said. I guess Bella wasn't much of a shopper. That was good news for me. I knew what kind of torture Jasper went through sitting in a chair in front of dressing rooms, being dragged all over the mall on a nice day, and having to carry a million bags.

I went to a strip mall that I knew had several stores, but none of them was what we were looking for. Luckily, there was a store across the street and it didn't take us long to make our way over.

We walked in and I was surrounded by pregnant mannequins and pants with elastic all over them. Bella went straight to a rack of pants and was looking through them hurriedly like she didn't want to be in here any longer than I did.

"You should get a few. You know since we're here." I added with a smile and she rolled her eyes at me. "Ha ha, look at that shirt." I pointed to a t-shirt that said "I'm not pregnant I'm a watermelon thief".

"That's so not funny and I would never wear something like that."

"Oh come on, little Joey is more like a cantaloupe than a watermelon." She looked up at me and smiled.

"I'm going to try these on." She said with three pants in her hands.

"Ok, but you can grab a few shirts to go with them too."

"Fine, but not the watermelon one." I nodded as I watched her try to rush through the shirts to get to her destination of the fitting room. I loved how she shopped.

I decided to walk around since I didn't have anything better to do and I found myself in the undergarment section having lost my way out. I was stuck in a maze of very big bras and panties. I stopped and marveled at the invention before me. It was a bra that opened right over the boobies. How ingenious.

"They're for-"

"Bup, bup" I said holding my hand out towards her, stopping her mid-sentence. "You will _not_ ruin this for me." I said in fake seriousness.

"Ok, then lets go." Bella said shaking her head slightly and feigning disapproval as she pulled me by my arm.

She also agreed to a pair of pajamas so she could roam freely getting her own juice without fear of running into my father again, or someone else, and we made it to the cashier in record time and this is coming from someone who has been subjected to far too many of Alice's shopping trips. Bella had been wise to avoid one.

"Oh, I have to use the restroom. I'll be right back." She said as she went to go find it. I heard her behind me asking a sales lady as I handed my credit card over to the cashier. She handed it back to me with the receipt and then the big bag and that's when I heard yelling, but not just any yelling, Bella's yelling.

"What the hell do you mean you don't have a bathroom?"

"I'm sorry, but we don't have a restroom."

"Bullshit! Where the hell do _you_ go to the bathroom!?"

"We don't have a _customer _restroom." The sales lady corrected herself.

"That's not what you said you lying bitch. In a second your not going to have a customer either. Edward, return all that shit and we'll go to another store right after I piss all over their fucking floor!"

I didn't move. I just stood there and watched several people look over at us and one lady that was particularly close grumbled something that sounded to be in agreement with Bella and walked out.

"Fine. The employee restroom is straight back there and through the doors." Bella turned around making her hair whip around with her, just like that first night in the parking lot. I watched her walk away, which I hadn't done for awhile, and thought about how much I loved her. Even then, in the parking lot I loved her, I just didn't know it yet or rather I just wouldn't let myself believe it.

"I'm really sorry." I said after standing there for a moment.

"Don't worry about it." The one behind the counter said as the other one that had just gotten screamed at was long gone. She looked up from her magazine and I could hear the crackle of the gum in her mouth. "It happens at least once a day. Eventually, management will realize and put in a new bathroom." She said with a sigh and turned the page in her magazine.

Bella and I walked out to the car and she looked up at me sheepishly. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"As a matter of fact you didn't. Although, if you would have urinated on the floor I may have been a bit humiliated."

"It's just stupid that a store full of pregnant women wouldn't have a bathroom," She mumbled and I couldn't disagree so I just sat quietly.

When we got to the house we went straight up to my bedroom although I was hoping to call it _our_ bedroom soon, even if it was foolish to expect such things so soon. She laid on the bed and I put her bag of clothes in the closet.

"Are you tired?"

"A little. We did a lot of walking today and we really didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"No, we didn't." I agreed and thought it would be nice to take nap with Bella. "I'm gonna change and then lay down with you, ok?" she nodded sleepily and I grabbed some sweat pants and a t-shirt and went in the bathroom.

**BPOV**

I was almost asleep when I realized that I left my vitamins in the car. I slipped on the ballet flats that Alice left for me to wear and headed out to the car. When I passed the kitchen I noticed that Esme was in there cooking.

"Hey, Esme!" I said with a big smile.

"Oh Bella, how did the appointment go?"

"It went really well. We heard the heartbeat and the doctor said everything looked good so we just have to go back in a month."

"So, Carlisle said you think it's a boy?"

"Yeah, I had dreams that it was, but I wasn't able to get an ultrasound when I was in Florida because of the insurance. I guess I could get one now, but the doctor didn't seem to think I needed one right now and the sex doesn't really matter."

"Well, you're probably right anyway. You know when I was pregnant with my son I knew the whole time he was a boy."

"Oh, I didn't know you had a son."

"Well, he passed away shortly after he was born and I don't usually talk about it, but…"

"I'm so sorry Esme, but you shouldn't feel bad about talking about him. What was his name?" I said while I placed my hand over hers.

"William Alexander . He was born prematurely and his lungs just weren't developed enough. I wasn't able to conceive after that and I was distraught, beyond distraught actually. Eventually my husband left me and I soon fell deeper and deeper into my depression. I quit my job and never left the house." It broke my heart to hear that this sweet, nurturing person had went through all of this heartache. "I was on the verge of suicide when a friend insisted on counseling and it was that doctor that recommended that I also attend a support group. So, I joined one for people grieving over the loss of a loved one and that's when I met Carlisle."

"The two of you seem very happy together." I said honestly.

"We are and Alice and Emmett have always seen that, but Edward…I just don't know about him." She said shaking her head.

"I don't think he's ever gotten over losing his mom. You really shouldn't take it personally, Esme."

"Why do you say that, Bella?" She asked truly curious.

"It's the look in his eyes when he talks about her. He misses her and he just can't let go. He thinks if he embraces you, so to speak, he will have to let go of her first. You should know that you're a great mom and he knows that and I think that's what makes it harder for him."

"You got all that from his eyes?" She said with a chuckle as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Oh, don't cry!" I said while wrapping my arms around her. "Now I know how Edward feels when I cry all the time. I really feel sorry for him now." I said with a laugh.

"You shouldn't. You know he would do anything for you." I just shrugged my shoulders. He probably feels like he should or maybe he just wants to for the baby…little Joey.

"You don't see it do you , Bella?"

I shook my head and when she was getting ready to say something else I heard footsteps on the stairs and then they grew louder from the hallway.

"Hey Bella, is everything ok?"

"Yeah Edward, I just came down to get my vitamins out of your car, but I stopped to talk to Esme."

"Oh, well why don't you go upstairs and I'll get your vitamins." He said while kissing my forehead. I saw Esme's look out of the corner of my eye and I shook my head at her.

"Do you need to take any of them right now?"

"Oh yeah I do. I always take them in the evening. I'll just get a drink first." I said while I started to move towards the refrigerator.

"Go lay down, Bella. I'll bring you a drink. What do you want water?"

"No, cranberry juice…three ice cubes." I saw Esme's smirk before I left the kitchen and I rolled my eyes at her. He felt bad and he was trying to be nice, no big deal.

**EPOV**

"I wonder what she would do if I put two or four ice cubes in there." I said thinking out loud about the wacky requests Bella made.

"Four would be easier because you wouldn't have to make another trip downstairs and I'd say that it would probably get thrown at you." She said completely serious as she continued to rinse off vegetables in the sink.

"Yeah, I'm not planning on finding out, she's just weird about that kind of shit."

"Oh, don't worry about it. She's an only child, her mom probably catered to her too much."

"I don't know about that, her mom seems like a pretty shitty parent."

"Edward, that's a harsh thing to say about someone you've never met." Her tone was scolding and motherly which wasn't surprising since under different circumstances it would've been warranted.

"I know." There wasn't anything else I could say. It was harsh and I only said it because I felt it was the truth.

I ran out to my car and grabbed the bag and the baby bib and made my way back to the kitchen to get the juice with three fucking ice cubes. I put two straws in it, one bendy and one not, just because Esme was right, too many meant I didn't have to come back down the stairs again.

"Hey, look Esme I'm going to surprise Bella with this sometime." I held the bib out and she ran her finger over the embroidered words and ducks.

"That's so thoughtful, Edward. I'm sure she'll love it." I nodded while I stuck it back in the bag.

"Did she tell you what we're naming the baby?" I said like an excited child.

"No, she didn't." She turned from cutting the vegetables and was waiting anxiously to hear with a smile on her face.

"Joseph Abraham"

"Oh, that's beautiful." She said while getting teary eyed.

"I'm surrounded by crying women." I said jokingly while I shook my head.

"I'm really happy for you guys." She said while wiping her eyes.

"Thank you…Esme" I tried to do it, really I did, but I couldn't bring myself to call her mom. I'm an adult and it would just seem weird now like I was only doing it because I felt obligated to. I was so over thinking this, but I did give her a hug. Her hand gently patted me on the back and I felt bad for all the years I pushed her away.

I went upstairs to my room and saw Bella curled up in the bed sleeping. I put the bib in one of my drawers and took out her pills. One looked really fucking big and I felt bad that she had to take it every day.

"Bella, I have your vitamins." I whispered in her ear and she slowly opened her eyes.

"Oh, I guess I fell asleep." She said smiling while she rubbed her eyes. I handed her the pills and the drink, but when she was taking the second one she accidentally tipped the glass while she was drinking from the straw causing it to spill all over her.

"Oh shit!" She jumped off the bed quicker than I would've thought possible and the whole front of the dress was soaked.

"Great, this is going to stain and Alice is going to kill me. I just hope I didn't get any on your bed."

"The bed's fine and I wouldn't care if you did anyway." I said truthfully.

The dress was almost as nifty, yes I said nifty, as those bras. She just unwrapped the front and peeled it away, so that it fell at her feet and she was standing there in nothing, but her black panties and a matching bra. The black looked so good on her pale skin and I could feel myself get hard in my pants. She had picked up the towel from the floor that I had dropped there this morning and was patting her chest with it making her breasts shake and jiggle and I could see that her nipples were just as hard as my dick. Although she had cold juice to blame hers on.

I found myself walking slowly closer to her until I was directly in front of her and I took the towel from her hand. She looked up at me with her eyes growing big and surprised when it dawned on her that she was almost naked. I wiped the towel across her chest letting the side of my hand graze her skin the entire way. I heard her take in a sharp breath and she tried to take a step backwards, but I wrapped my arm around her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to rinse the dress in the sink." She said in a small voice.

My lips were barely touching hers and I shook my head. "I think you should kiss me first." I whispered against her mouth. I wanted her to kiss me like earlier, like we had kissed before.

She did. Her lips moved against mine in a wonderful rhythm until our tongues found each other again. I slowly inched backwards pulling her with me since my arms were still wrapped around her.

We were lying on our sides on the bed, our kiss never breaking. I pulled her closer and she willingly obliged. I could feel her hard nipples rubbing against my chest and I moved against her in a synchronized movement while my hands were placed firmly on her arms. Slowly my hands made their way down to her legs. I caressed every part of her knee and thigh with my left hand until I found my way to the inside of her thigh and continued to move up, but then she pulled away.

"I can't do this." she said out of breath motioning her finger between us.

"Oh…OH, no we don't have to do anything." I said realizing what she meant. The doctor hadn't said anything, but Bella would know about that shit more than I would.

"That's not what I meant." She said with a shaky voice bringing her hands up to cover her chest.

"Bella, it's ok" I said in a soothing voice as I rubbed her arms again, but she swatted them away and I felt my face fall.

"I can't do this Edward. I can't pretend that this is something that it's not. I just can't, it hurts too much." She said with a small sob.

"No Bella, it's not pretending this is real." I pleaded with her.

"_This_ is real. There doesn't have to be anything else." She said pointing to her stomach and she was crying harder. "Can I have a minute to get dr-dressed, please." She barely got the words out between sobs.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered in her ear and she started crying harder even though I could tell she was trying hard to hold it back.

I sat in the hallway, leaning against the wall with my head on my knees. What have I done?

**BPOV**

I was shaking when I got off the bed and I knew I had to leave. I picked the phone up and called Jake to pick me up. I couldn't stay here any longer. I would talk to his parents another night. I just couldn't stay here and subject myself to Edward's guilty conscience. I wanted him too much. I wanted to ravish him on that bed, I wanted to live here with him, I wanted to go out with him all the time like we had today, I wanted to be married for 2 years just like he said, but for it to be the truth. I wanted to make love to him because I loved him. I've always loved him and it had nothing to do with guilt or obligation over the baby. My heart would always belong to Edward Cullen.

I put on my uniform from the grocery store I had worn last night because it fit and I didn't want to look for or take any of the clothes he got me. I put my hair in a ponytail and put all my stuff in my bag. I went back in the bedroom to get my pills and Alice's dress so I could soak it in Edward's bathroom sink.

I got all my stuff and left the room. I saw him sitting there in the hallway looking especially tortured and I knew I had to get out of there immediately.

"Bella, where are you going?"

"I have to leave."

"Why?!" He exclaimed desperately.

"I just do, Edward. I need to go home. I'll call you tomorrow." I had turned to face him, but I was trying not to look at him.

"This could be your home, Bella. I'm sorry I behaved so poorly in there, but it won't happen again, I swear, Bella just please don't go."

I was crying again. I couldn't stand to hear his voice beg me or see his face in pain.

"It's not that. I don't blame you for that. For Christ's sake I got almost naked not even freaking thinking about it." I almost hopped on top of him not thinking about it either.

"Then what?"

"I just need some time to think."

"Ok then, I'll leave. You can stay here. You'll be safe and Esme will make sure you're well fed." He gave me a fake smile.

"Edward, I don't need to be taken care of. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I cast my eyes downward at my old, tattered shoes, not being able to stomach the desperate look on his face for a second longer.

"What if tomorrow never comes? What if later never comes…like last time?" He said with a panicked look on his face and I knew what he was talking about.

"Edward, that wasn't my choice. Please, stop making this harder!" I screeched with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I escaped the hallway abruptly and ran down the stairs even faster than this morning. I quickly made my way out to the porch, dropping the bag to my feet, and stood there waiting for Jacob. I was still crying quietly with my arms wrapped around myself when I heard a voice behind me even though I didn't hear his approach.

"Please don't go. We can talk. We can talk about us." Edward's voice rang out behind me and I instantly turned towards him.

"What about us?" I wailed. "We're gonna have a baby that doesn't mean we have to get married or something. It's not like my dad is going to hold a shotgun to your back at the altar. Ok, bad example because he might want to do just that." I was still pretty hysterical at this point, but Edward just stared at me with sad eyes when he realized what I was doing or rather who I was waiting for out here.

"You called Jacob didn't you?"

"Yeah, he's going to give me a ride to La Push."

"Please stay with me. I don't want to lose you again."

"What the hell are you talking about Edward? You never had me! How can you lose something that was never yours to begin with!? I was nothing and you made sure of it when you left that day with Chelsea!" I was beyond being petty and the horrible truth came out. I put myself out there and begged him once too and it got me nowhere and now that he felt he had no choice…

"It wasn't like that, Bella. Please." He begged.

"I have to go." I said as I saw Jacob's car pull up.

"Bella, you can't do this to me. Just please come talk with me." His voice was shaky and it was sad just to hear it.

"I'm not _doing _anything to you. No wait correction, I'm not doing anything to you that you didn't do to me. Except when I refuse to talk to you right now I'm not cussing in your face and I'm not running off to fuck around with someone else!" I screamed it because I had held it in for so long. I had shouted right in his face, but this did nothing to his determination or stubbornness.

"Bella-"

"This is just too much too fast. I'm going home and I'll talk to you later. Nothing has changed with the baby, I'll never keep you from him. I know you love the baby, Edward, but I can't do this." I spoke honestly and I grabbed my bag off the porch, so that I could leave.

"It's not just the baby." His usually deep voice sounded like nothing more than a whimper and it stopped me dead in my tracks, my foot stopping before it left the top step and came back down and I turned slowly to look at him once more.

"What are you saying, Edward?" His face looked pained and he visibly struggled with what he was about to say.

"I love _you_." He said quietly.

"Stop it, Edward! Stop it right now! What are you going to say next that we can get married?!"

"We could, Bella" He said looking up at me hopefully, but still speaking softly.

"No! I'm not falling for this spur of the moment, hypothetical, Jerry McGuire shit. I'm not going to force you into something and you have no idea what you're saying." I couldn't believe he would be so cavalier with things so important.

I got in the car and looked up at him one last time. It looked like a tear was rolling down his cheek and I nearly jumped out of the car, but Jake was already driving and then Edward was gone. He had disappeared into the house, but I heard him yell something first, but I couldn't make out what it was.

"What the fuck was that about?"

"The yelling? It was probably 'Fuck you bitch!', but I really don't know."

"No, he said 'They did love each other, they were happy in the end.'."

He was talking about Jerry McGuire and he was right, but how in the hell did Jake hear that shit?

"Jake I swear you have dog hearing or something." I said without much feeling as I was merely trying to change the subject and hoping to mask how upset I was.

"Whatever, Bella."

It didn't matter what happened in Jerry McGuire because I wasn't Renee Zelweger and he wasn't Tom Cruise. We were just Bella and Edward.

We were sitting on Jake's couch watching a move while I waited for Emily to get home from work. I wasn't paying much attention to the movie at all. I was strumming my fingers on my stomach thinking "Joey, Joey, Joey". I didn't really think much of the name at first, but Edward was so excited about it so it seemed like as good of a name as any other. I didn't really have a preference if he didn't want to name the baby after him, so then why not after a baby kangaroo and a dead president. Ok, so that doesn't make any sense, but whatever, it _is_ Edward after all.

All of a sudden the phone rang and I jumped at the sound. Jake, who was still sitting next to me, answered it quickly.

"Hello"

"Yes. Is this Edward?" He asked while looking at me and I shook my head and mouthed the word 'no'.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen sure here she is." He gave me a look like what the hell as he handed me the phone and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Hello, Carlisle?" I had to force myself to call him by his first name because it just seemed rude to me.

"Bella, your doctor's office called to discuss some tests that need to be run and I'd like for you to come over tomorrow so we can discuss it."

"What? What tests!?" I was panicked.

"Bella, it's ok and we can talk about it tomorrow I just wanted to see if we could come and pick you up, maybe around -"

"No, I'll come back now. Well…" I was watching Jake shake his head at me.

"Tell her I'll go get her, dad." I heard Edward's voice in the background because he was shouting.

"Fine. Bella, -"

"Yeah, I heard him. That's fine."

"Ok, what's the address?"

"621 Black Bear Trail" This time Jake's look was definitely 'What the fuck!'.

I hung up the phone and told Jake about the call from the doctor's office.

"It's probably a trick." Jacob said seriously.

"I thought of that, but Carlisle wouldn't lie especially about something like this. He just wouldn't and I heard Edward in the background he was freaked out too."

"Whatever Bella, he's probably always freaked out."

"He doesn't do drugs anymore." I said defensively because Edward had told me that he didn't and I believed him.

"Ok Bells, but when he rejects you again I'm gonna be the one who has to pick up the broken pieces and be there for you again." His usually friendly features hardened and his words were gruff.

"Jake, stop it!" I started crying again and Jake hugged me and apologized. I used to love Jake's hugs because they were warm and comforting, but now I only longed for _his _embrace.

I heard a horn honk and walked outsude lugging my bag with me again because I had a feeling it would be a late discussion if we talked about everything, but tonight I was definitely sleeping in the guest room or I would even risk my life to sleep in Emmett's Star War's room.

Edward jumped out of the car and grabbed my bag for me. I said a quiet thanks but I couldn't look at him and I sat down in the seat angry that I never got that nap I so desperately wanted. I wished I hadn't dumped juice all over myself and stripped down to my underwear. If I wasn't so clumsy and stupid I could've fallen asleep on Edward's chest listening to his heart beat which happens to be my favorite way to fall asleep.

I was sitting there in the car looking at his fancy shmancy GPS that must've been how he'd gotten here so fast and then before I knew it he was there next to me and pulling out of Jake's driveway.

"Bella, are you ok? Do you feel ok?" His voice was full of concern as he shot nervous glances towards me and then right back to the road, but I only saw it out of my peripheral vision.

"I feel fine." I said while looking out the window because I couldn't bring myself to look at his face remembering how sad he had looked when I left. "Did he tell you anything?" I asked hopefully as my worry grew.

"No, he said he would talk to us about it together." I nodded and when I turned my head I saw Edward's eyes and I knew he wasn't lying.

Once the car was stopped in his driveway he was around to my door in a split second helping me out and he said he would come back for my bag because he didn't want to wait a second longer to hear what his dad had to say and I completely agreed.

We stood in front of Carlisle who was sitting at his desk in his office. His face didn't show any emotion. It was the face of a doctor. He was no longer the concerned parent that I talked to in the kitchen last night, this was all business.

I felt my legs shaking and I couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"Alright, we're both fucking here just tell us already." Edward's loud voice cut into my thoughts. Carlisle ignored Edward's outburst and began speaking to me.

"Bella, like I said the doctor's office called because it seemed that they didn't have a chance to review the information sent to them from your other doctor until after your appointment." We both nodded because the doctor had told us that she didn't get a chance to look at it. "Well, it seems that they want to test for a genetic disorder, parenchypancreatosis, that can fatally affect the baby's pancreas."

I gasped. "That's horrible" I whimpered and started crying. Edward put his arm around me and I gave in and let my head rest on his chest. This was the embrace that I had wanted…needed.

"Bella, like I said this is a genetic disorder and it only affects those with Native American heritage. Do you know why they would require you to be tested for such a disorder?"

I looked up at Edward, my expression probably resembled that of a deer in headlights, but his look was a lot worse. Like someone just crushed him and his arm fell away from me leaving me with the most horrible, lonely feeling. I looked down and nodded my head.

"I'll leave the two of you alone for a moment." Carlisle said as he left the room.

"Bella, what the fuck! I mean really why the fuck would they think that?"

"Because it's what I told them." I said in a weak voice.

"Bella, you swore to me that you didn't sleep with anyone else and I believed you! I fucking believed you!" He was screaming and I couldn't really blame him.

"Edward" I said calmly as I sat down, but I didn't expect him to sit down and he didn't. "I didn't lie. I didn't sleep with anyone else."

"Then why-" he started, his voice exasperated.

"I lied to them not you." I could feel the tears building their way up to my eyes as I started to talk about the things I only wanted to forget. "My mother took me to an agency, an adoption agency, even though I didn't want to go. She told me she wouldn't kick me out, but that I couldn't stay with her forever. She kept pushing how much better the baby would be with two parents that were financially stable. The person from the agency was spouting off the same stuff my mom was about how the baby deserved to have a father and if I loved the baby I would want what was best for him. So basically they were saying I wasn't what was best for him and that I didn't love him." I was crying again and Edward took the seat next to me and turned it so that he was facing me and started rubbing my leg gently trying to soothe me. I wished it would work.

"I just wanted it to stop, Edward. I just wanted them to stop saying those awful things to me, so I told them that the baby's father _did _want to be involved, but that I hadn't told my parents because he was underage. I knew what that lady was getting ready to say that he wouldn't be able to support the baby any more than I could, but before she could get the words out I said 'He's Native American and neither he nor his tribe will ever consent to this adoption.' and she finally stopped; it had worked." Edward only looked more confused. "An adoption of a Native American baby is very difficult and that agency wouldn't talk to us after that. Of course that didn't put much of a damper on Renee's plan as she just found less reputable agencies and there were a few couples from her church." She probably doesn't even go to that church anymore if she's as fickle as she used to be and I knew she was.

"So, Renee knew exactly who I was talking about. I deterred her for awhile, but she ended up calling Charlie who gave her Billy's telephone number and to stop her from calling I admitted that I lied, but she must've put it on one of my medical papers at a doctor's appointment before that. I'm sorry Edward." If he only knew how sorry I was.

"So, you lied to them, but you're not lying to me?" He asked skeptically and I sighed.

"Edward, either you think I'm stupid or you think that I think you're stupid…and color blind. I mean really, why would I tell you that it's your baby if there was a chance it could be your polar opposite's?" He didn't say anything and I couldn't believe the mess I had gotten myself into. I let my head fall into my hands. "Maybe I'm not meant to be a mother" I sobbed into my hands. Look at the mess I created with my life. Is this what I would do to my child's life too?

I felt the tingle of Edward's fingers gently prying my hands away from my eyes and when I opened them I saw him kneeling in front of me. He took my hands securely into his and looked up at me and with every bit of feeling he had and said "Bella, you already are a mother and when this baby, _our _baby, is born you will be the best mother. You've already overcame so much and I love you." I shook my head which made the tears fall quicker, but no words came out of my mouth. "Bella, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't want it to come out like that. I wanted it to be special, but I need you to believe it's the truth."

"I want to, but I can't." I said honestly.

"Come here I have something to show you." He led me to his room and I sat on his bed. This is where everything had went terribly wrong today, but I suppose it was inevitable, everything had to come out eventually. He opened the drawer to the nightstand and pulled something out and handed it to me.

'This is the letter I wrote you when I first found out you were at your mom's. I didn't know if I would ever see you again, if you ended the pregnancy, or if you hated me, which I suppose you should, but I wanted to be with you no matter what and I still do."

My hands were shaking and I looked down at the envelope in my hands. It was unopened and the front had my old address in Phoenix on it, he really did try hard to find me. It was postmarked three days after I left. I opened it and slowly pulled out the pages. I unfolded it and saw Edward's handwriting, but it wasn't like his usually fancy script it was more like chicken scratch with some fancy swirls in it here and there. He was obviously very upset when he wrote this. I took a deep breath and began to read.

_Dear Bella,_

_The first time I saw you was in the cafeteria on your first day at Forks High. You were wearing an orange shirt that said "Arizona - The real sunshine state" and I remember laughing because it looked so odd paired with the grey thermal shirt that you wore under it. I normally don't like orange, but it looked nice on you making me almost like the color. That's why I remembered it or at least that's why I told myself I remembered. You looked nervous, but happy enough talking with Angela and some of her friends. If I try hard enough I can see the way you shyly smiled and laughed with them. That's why right now I choose to remember the first time I saw instead of the last, although I hope so much, Bella, that it was in fact not the last time I see you._

_I ignored the urge to talk to you that day in the cafeteria…really every day in the cafeteria and when we were paired up in biology I ignored that you were smart and funny and when you were thinking really hard your nose would scrunch up and you would tap your pencil on you cheek in intervals of three. I also ignored that you smelled nice and when you smiled at me I wanted to smile back. Until eventually, I didn't have to think about ignoring you anymore. I just did. That is until that night at the football game. _

_That night I went up to you for the wrong reasons, but I tried to stop for the right ones, but when you wanted me as much as I wanted you I knew I couldn't stop. I couldn't stay away from you any longer. _

_I was wrong when you told me you were pregnant. But, the truth is I've been wrong about a lot of things. For that I feel truly guilty. I suppose it was because of that guilt that I suggested that you end the pregnancy. I've felt guilty for taking your virginity under the dirty fucking bleachers when I knew you deserved so much more, so much better. After I found out you were pregnant and that's why you look so sick, that guilt only grew. I reacted poorly, to say the least, but I will make it up to you, Bella please if you only give me the chance. _

_I've stayed away from you for so long and I cannot do it anymore, I don't want to do it anymore. I only want to be with you because…I love you._

_Forever,_

_Edward_

I had tears streaming down my face and a few had landed on the letter making smudges that matched the few that were already there and dried. I looked up at Edward who I think had been staring at me the whole time I was reading, but I had gotten too lost in the words to notice. I was still seated rigidly on the side of the bed with my feet on the floor and Edward was next to me, with only a small space in between, with one leg bent and on the bed and the other foot was planted on the floor. His hand raked through his hair tugging on it slightly and I bit my lip remembering how I used to watch him do that in class, but more so how _I _loved to do that to his hair when we…

"Now you know, that no one has ever loved you as much as I love you." He whispered poetically.

Edward was notoriously surly and temperamental which was often reflected in his features. Of course Edward was breathtakingly Godlike with whatever expression he wore and I had always seen behind his angry façade; I always loved him too. At the moment his face was relaxed, out of exhaustion I'm sure, not just from today but all this time we've spent away from each other when we both only wanted to be together.

I nodded my head slowly, I was still crying slightly from his touching words and the realization that had struck my heart. No one else had ever loved me before with the exception of my parents of course and even that was disputable at the moment. I loved Jacob like a brother and although his real sisters were probably the only ones immune to his sexual advances I knew his feelings for me were still that of a brother.

I set the letter off to the side and held my arms out toward Edward. His arms were around me and my head was on his shoulder before I could even blink. We had a lot of problems, a lot of things that had gone wrong that needed worked through, but we were both willing and we both loved each other.

I sighed, feeling relieved and at ease. I whispered against his neck "Edward?" and felt goose bumps spread across his skin as he shivered just slightly.

"Bella" he whispered back.

I moved my head up slightly and spoke quietly into his ear as if I were to speak it into the air it would become diluted before it reached this spot and lose some of its importance. "I love you too, Edward. I always have."

We stayed like that unmoving, content,…together.

**A/N - **

**This wasn't where or how I was planning on ending, but it was a good place to stop, so no shortage of stuff going on next chapter.**

**Again, I apologize for the long wait. This story is close to 200 people who have it on alert and I'm so stoked and appreciative of all of you! I will be updating my other story again before this one updates just because that story is at a very climatic place and nearing its end, but I don't plan on making you wait as long!**

**Longest chapter yet and I still didn't get everything I wanted to in it, so there will be more discussions next time.**

**Zane and Maverick - Bella's the one that thinks they're stupid names not moi**

**The watermelon thief shirt - I saw that shirt a long time ago and thought it was funny**

**The Disease - I made that up, but really MArmas616 made up the name for me.**

**The Arizona shirt - I made that up too**

**The Letter - it gave me fits and I will partly blame it on the hold up because it was a bitch to write. I'd love to hear what you think of it though.**

**I know I changed the Breaking Dawn quote a little, but it fit this scenario better with the changed wording. **

***New contest - What is the significance of Chelsea's name? And why does Bella start to cry **_**more **_**before Edward leaves the bedroom (after she stripped down to her undergarments and they stopped making out)? First to answer both correctly wins a prize (name cameo?) Good luck!**

**Oh, on a crazy side note the other day Lulu and I were chillaxin' when everyone (exaggeration) on Twitter starts freaking out about a tampon lemon fanfic. We have yet to find this story and for some reason we **_**do**_** want to find it so we can be in the know. Does anyone know the name of this ff?**

**Reviews are better than sexually assaulting Betward against the wall…yeah I know.**


	13. Chapter 13 The Discussions

Disclaimer - Anything Twilight related is not mine. Anything The Bet related is mine.

A/N -

Quick as hell update, so I am no longer epic fail!

TB placed 3rd for The Sparkle Award in the Best Cullen Romance category. Thanks to everyone who nominated and voted!

Thanks to everyone that let me know what the tampon lemon fanfic was (Master of the Universe). Beta Lulu totally loves it, but I haven't started it yet.

Links to pictures of Bella and Edward's clothes from this chapter are on my profile and the link to my new twitter bullcrap, I mean account, is also on my profile. All thanks to Beta Lulu!

Contest Answers below.

*Right where we left off.

Chapter 13

The Discussions

EPOV

**We laid in bed next to each other, but intertwined, so that we were as close as possible. Her fingers curled around my hair and my arms were wrapped around her body as if she would disappear if I didn't keep a hold of her.**

"**Bella?"**

"**Mmm" She answered tiredly.**

"**I want to ask you this for the last time and then it's done. Were you ever **_**with **_**Jacob, you know, ever?" She looked up at me and gave me a look that was both skeptical and shitty at the same time.**

"**Why? What did he tell you?" She asked slowly.**

"**He didn't tell me anything. Wait, is there something to tell?" I was trying to stay calm and not show my anger, but obviously failing.**

"**No, but he tells people all the time that I'm the first girl he slept with." She said it nonchalantly and then let her head fall back to the pillow. If that was true then he was **_**her **_**first too. I didn't let myself follow through with that thought.**

"**And why would he say that, Bella?"**

"**Because he thinks it's funny to play with semantics."**

"**Excuse me?"**

"**Edward, Jake and I have been friends since we were little kids. Our fathers are good friends and whenever I was here to visit we were always paired up to play. At first I wanted to play dress up and Barbies with his sisters, but they never included me. They were a little older and twins, so they mostly just played with each other. Jake was used to being shunned by them and he would always include me in whatever he was doing and I didn't mind making mud pies or chasing frogs. We became friends at a young age and have remained friends throughout the years. He truly is my best friend. There has never been any more to our relationship besides Jake's harmless flirting that began at puberty. Anyway, when I was ten, which meant Jake was about eight, I had spent the night at his house. It was an impromptu slumber party of sorts that followed a day full of fishing and drinking for our fathers, with a big emphasis on the drinking. Charlie had passed out on the couch and Rebecca and Rachel already shared a bed, so I slept in Jake's bed. To this day he tells people I am the first girl he slept with." That wasn't quite what I was expecting and it may have even been funny in different circumstances. **

"**Well, I'm glad you have such a good friend." I said almost meaning it, but probably just sounding like I didn't.**

"**Mmm hmm" She agreed sounding half asleep.**

"**Bella, are you falling asleep? I can go to the other room if you want me to." **

"**No, I can't go to sleep. I'm all sticky." I wasn't sure if she was babbling incoherently because she seemed already asleep.**

"**Well, I think you'll be asleep in in a few seconds."**

"**No, I'm getting up now to take a bath. I'm all sticky from dousing myself in juice." Well, that explained that, but after several minutes she still hadn't budged.**

"**You're not moving. You can just take a bath in the morning." **

"**No, I'm sticky." She said still sounding sleepy and a bit whiny, but I couldn't help but to smile. I think her eyes were still shut and she didn't seem to be moving at all as she continued to lay against me.**

"**Ok, I'm going to make your bath."**

"**Thank you!" She said as snuggled the ruffle of blankets left in my absence and I made my way to the bathroom. **

**I was pretty sure she would be asleep by the time I returned, but whatever. I turned on the warm water and put some of the strawberry smelling, rock candy lookin' shit in it that Alice had given me. I took a towel out of the closet and put it on the counter. I realized that her bag was still in the car so I turned off the water to go get it.**

**Surprisingly she was still awake and her big, brown eyes met mine when I walked out of the bathroom. She smiled and I smiled back. Things were far from perfect, but the way she looked at me made me feel like they were.**

"**Are you hungry? I could get you something to eat. I need to go get your bag out of the car anyway."**

"**Yeah, I am kind of hungry. I didn't eat dinner." Well, that wasn't good. I hadn't eaten dinner either, but I wanted to make sure that she had plenty of food.**

"**I'll get you something and you can get in the tub." She agreed and walked into the bathroom as I was leaving the bedroom, otherwise I would've guessed that she would be in the same spot when I got back.**

**I ran downstairs, but stopped at my dad's office to update him on the bulk of the conversation between Bella and I. I brought in Bella's bag and made her a plate of the stir fry that Esme had made for dinner, but then I scraped it into a bowl since I thought it would be easier for her not spill it, which was also the reason I got her a cup with a lid for her juice. I made myself a bowl of food also and after I had everything on a tray I went back upstairs.**

**I took the food to my room and left it on the dresser while I ran to the guest room. After I had everything that I wanted to leave for Bella, I put it on the bed since I was fairly certain she wouldn't want to sleep in my room. It didn't take me long and I ran back to my room expecting Bella to be waiting for me, but she wasn't, so I knocked on the bathroom door.**

"**Bella, I hope you like stir fry, if not I'll have to make you something else." I waited, but didn't hear anything. "Bella, are you ok?" Still nothing. What if she fell asleep? I started to panic and I knocked a few more times before I opened the door. Luckily, it hadn't been locked because I would've really hated to break it down.**

**The lights were off and the candles that Alice had put in here the other day were lit. Through the dim candlelight my eyes landed on a very surprised looking Bella. She was surrounded by bubbles and her hair was in a messy pile on the top of her head that looked so fucking sexy. Then I noticed the I-Pod sitting on the edge of the tub and she scrambled to take out the earphones.**

"**What's wrong?"**

"**I'm sorry. I knocked to tell you that I had food waiting for you and when you didn't answer I got worried. I'm sorry." I turned to leave feeling like an idiot and not wanting to upset her again.**

"**No, you don't have to go." I stopped and wasn't sure if I had heard her correctly. "I mean, if you don't want to."**

"**Sure, I'll stay." I sat on the toilet, not sure what to do. "So, what I had said before I barged in was that I brought up stir fry, but if you don't like that I could make you something else."**

"**No, that sounds really good." She didn't seem very comfortable that I was here. Maybe she just asked me to stay because she didn't want to seem rude or something. "If me being here is making you uncomfortable I can go." She mumbled something that I couldn't make out. "What?"**

"**I was just thinking the same thing." **

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Would you like to join me or would that be weird?" She said it quickly like she wasn't sure if she should ask or not.**

"**No, it wouldn't be weird." It would be really fucking awesome, although maybe not the best idea, being impaled by a huge erection might be weird. "Are you sure?"**

"**Yeah, but you'll have to sit behind me since there's no room in front of me." She laughed and pointed to her stomach.**

**In all of about 2.3 seconds I was undressed and getting into the tub behind her. I had only used the tub a few times for an actual bath and that was only when I was really fucking sore from football, but right now I was so grateful for how big and fucking awesome it was.**

"**If I'm going to be here I can at least be useful." She didn't move when I reached in front of her, our skin touching briefly, and grabbed the washcloth. I soaked it in the hot water and squeezed it out on her back after I moved some stray hairs that had fallen from her make shift bun. I thoroughly washed her back only stopping to get the wash cloth wet again.**

"**That feels so good." She said quietly while a small moan escaped her lips. This was not helping the huge boner that she was getting closer and closer to every time she leaned back.**

**She was so close to me that I couldn't help myself. I leaned forward to her bare neck and gently stroked my fingers against the smooth skin before my lips were kissing her right next to her shoulder and I slowly made my way up, occasionally letting my tongue run across her skin, until I was right behind her ear. I kissed the spot a few times before I whispered in her ear that I loved her. I could feel her whole body shake just a little when I said it.**

**I meant it and now that she knew, I wanted to tell her all the time. More importantly I wanted to show her. I wanted to make love to her like I should've before. Not that I didn't care about her before, but we were always in a fucked up place and rushed for time.**

**She leaned against me and rested her head my shoulder. I leaned down and she moved up slightly so that somehow we met in the middle and started kissing frantically. In the matter of a second Bella had turned around so that it was much easier to kiss her, which I continued to do, but in doing so she had positioned herself right on my lap.**

**She felt so good pressed against my cock and I groaned a little in her mouth which got a little sound from her in return and she began moving against me slowly and it felt so fucking good. I let my hands rest on her breasts and began massaging them gently. **

**Our kiss broke and we both took in a ragged breath. This is when I got a good look of Bella who was still straddling me and not only that, but her grinding had picked up in pace also. The candlelight flickered off the water and bubbles that covered her skin, although I'm pretty sure it was perspiration that covered her nose and cheeks and even in the dim light I could see the rosy color from the heat on her cheeks.**

**I let my hands fall away so I could take in the sight of her breasts as they bounced just slightly.**

"**Oh Bella, you're so beautiful." I said before my lips were back on her neck and then back to her lips.**

"**Oh Edward" She said it in the sexiest voice I have ever fucking heard. **

**The friction that was building between us under the water was beginning to be too much. **

"**Bella-" I started to say fearing that this would be too much too soon for her.**

"**Yes" God, the way she said that was so fucking hot and I started moving against her in rhythm to her movements and my hands went back to her breasts and I brushed my thumbs across her nipples a few times.**

"**Oh fuck, Edward" Something about hearing her talk that way made me want her even more which I didn't even think was possible.**

"**Bella, I want you so fucking bad."**

"**Mmmm" she moaned and I knew she was waiting for me to take the lead.**

"**Are you sure?" She nodded her head quickly making her hair shake and a few strands fall in her face which was just fucking hot because she blew them out of her face and then ran her tongue across her lips before looking back at me. "Positive?" I asked one more time.**

"**Yes, Edward please." How in the fuck could I say no to that?**

**I reached down to my throbbing dick and Bella moved up slightly and I positioned myself right at her opening. "If it hurts just stop, ok?" She nodded and took in a deep breath.**

**She slowly moved down and it felt so good. I knew I wasn't going to last long. Once it was all the way in she stopped and looked at me and I was worried that it hurt, but she gave me a small smile before she started moving again. Slowly at first and then faster. She had her hands on my shoulders and I followed her movements as I was letting her set the pace. **

**She began whimpering a little and I took her nipple in my mouth as I continued to keep up with her quickened pace.**

**I could feel her tighten up and I let my head fall back to the wall. **

"**Oh, Bella you feel so good...so fucking good." I moaned.**

"**Oh Edward" She gasped and then moaned which I did too as we got off a the same time.**

**I wrapped my arms around her so that her warm body was pressed against mine.**

"**I love you"**

"**I love you too"**

"**Are you ok?" I asked her while I put my hands on her stomach.**

"**Yeah, I'm fine."**

**The water was getting cold so we both moved so that Bella would be behind me and I could get out.**

"**Just hold on a second and I'll get your towel." She nodded and wrapped her arms around herself.**

**I wrapped a towel around my waist not bothering to dry off since I was sure that Bella was freezing.**

**I had her towel draped over my forearm and I reached the other hand out to help her get out of the tub, but she just sat there. **

"**I have to get out in front of you?" She said meekly.**

"**Bella, you don't have to be self conscious you're beautiful." **

**She hesitated, but then reached her hand out and stood up slowly. She didn't look any less sexy than the first time I saw her naked. I helped her out of the tub and wrapped the towel around her and then held her close. I rubbed my hand over her back and she leaned against me and sighed.**

"**Was that weird?"**

"**What? You not wanting me to see you naked? A little, but I understand that you're self conscious. You just need to know that you don't need to be because you're beautiful and sexy."**

"**That's not what I meant. I meant the sex was it ok?"**

"**Ok? No, it wasn't ok. It was so beyond ok I can't even think of a word for it. You were amazing, Bella."**

"**Really?" She said in a small voice as she continued to rest her head on my chest.**

**My chest was bare and I could feel her hot breath against my skin,but her breathing seemed off and then I felt what I assumed to be tears because it was much warmer than the water dripping off her hair.**

"**What's wrong?" I asked in a soothing voice. I was sure it was just something associated with hormones or something since she seemed to cry all the damn time.**

"**I just can't believe how stupid I am. I guess I'll never learn." I knew it was too soon. I should've stopped her, but she seemed so sure.**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**We didn't use a condom…again."**

"**Well, it's not like you're going to get pregnant…again"**

"**Right, because that's obviously what I'm worried about." She said sarcastically. "Listen, I don't want to talk about this right now. I'm hungry and tired and I really don't want to fight with you." I didn't know there was anything to fight about, but whatever.**

"**I'll get your pajamas." I didn't like walking out when I knew she was upset, but she didn't want to talk about it so there really wasn't anything I could do about it. I just concentrated on getting her pajamas so she could eat and rest.**

**I set her bag in the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I dried off quickly and put on the sweat pants and t-shirt that I had on earlier and then went to the closet to get Bella's pajamas.**

**I knocked lightly on the bathroom door and then walked in. Bella had taken her hair down and brushed it and it looked wavy and beautiful. She had blown out the candles and turned on the light, so that it didn't even look like the same bathroom I just walked out of.**

**She had the opening of the towel right over her stomach and I could see that she was rubbing lotion all over it.**

"**So, that's why your skin is so smooth." I said while I placed my hands on her stomach.**

"**Here, be useful." She laughed and put some lotion near my hands and I rubbed it in. The baby kicked a few times which made me smile.**

"**Mmm. That feels good." Bella was leaning against the sink counter and closed her eyes for a moment.**

"**Well, then I guess I have a new job."**

"**Yes, I guess you do." She was laughing again and this was much better than a moment ago.**

"**Oh, here are your pajamas. I'm just going to warm up the food again."**

"**Ok. Thanks, Edward." She smiled at me and I smiled back. Definitely way better than a moment ago. It must've just been hormones. I kissed her forehead before I left to go to the kitchen.**

**I took the bowls down to warm them up in the microwave and then ran back upstairs. **

**Bella was sitting on the bed with the blankets covering her legs. She was wearing the new nightgown and I could see her bare arms since the top was like a tank top. It was off white with a red band under her breasts. A little cleavage was visible with the v-neck and I felt myself getting hard again, so I turned around to set the bowls on the tray.**

"**I hope you're hungry because I put a lot in your bowl."**

"**Yeah, I'm starving." she said as I sat next to her crossing my legs Indian style just like she was and putting the tray on the bed in front of both of us. "Oh my gosh, that isn't coffee is it?" She said looking at the cup that I had chosen for its lid.**

"**You know I wouldn't give you caffeine," I was teasing her and she knew it. "It's juice. I just thought you could benefit from a cup with a lid." I smiled, just half of a smile, and she smiled back. **

"**Well, it just so happens I could." She said jokingly as she took a bite of her food. "This is really good." She said with her mouth full. Ordinarily that shit probably would've bothered me, but it didn't with her and I continued to watch her chew and occasionally lick her lips.**

"**Yeah, Esme is a really good cook, although I favor your spaghetti." She blushed a little and it was so fucking sexy.**

"**I did have a good helper you know."**

"**Well, that's me - backwashing, lotion applying, beef cooking extraordinaire." I said in a mock, grandiose tone.**

"**Yep, that pretty much sums it up." She was nodding her head and I was enjoying the playful banter, flirting I might even call it, that easily went on between us.**

"**Perhaps I should write this down for my resume." I continued to joke, but I noticed her facial expression change from playful to serious and it looked as if she wanted to say something, but she stopped herself and continued eating instead. **

"**I am so full…and tired" She put her empty bowl next to mine on the tray.**

"**I'll just take this down in the morning." I said as I set it on the floor, off to the side where I knew she wouldn't trip over it.**

"**I should go to the other room." I nodded my head at her because I had already assumed she would want to sleep alone, but I didn't do a very good job at hiding my disappointment.**

"**Would you like me to walk you down there?"**

"**No. I know where it is. I hope you understand that-"**

"**No, my Love, you don't have to explain and I do understand." I kissed her cheek and told her good night. She grabbed her robe and left. I had rolled over so I didn't have to watch her walk away from me yet again. It was a sight I cared to never have to see again.**

**She had switched off the light when she left the room and I laid there trying to fall asleep. Despite how tired I was, my attempts were futile. I continued to lay there smelling the pillow that still smelled like strawberries.**

**All of a sudden the blankets moved and Bella's warm body was next to me and her arms were squeezing me.**

"**I love them…and I love you." She whispered in my ear causing more goose bumps on my skin. She was speaking of the flowers and the bib I had left on the bed with a small note telling her how happy I was that her and the baby were here and how much I loved both of them.**

"**Bella, I'm glad you liked them."**

"**But, when?"**

"**Well, I got the bib when you were in line getting your prescription and the flowers are orchids from Esme's greenhouse." I heard a little gasp and for once I knew what Bella was thinking. "Don't worry, Love, I had her permission.. Actually, I think she would've only been mad if I **_**didn't **_**use any of her flowers." I laughed and I felt Bella nod in agreement.**

"**Edward can we talk? I mean about…earlier." So, I suppose it was something more than hormones. It wouldn't be the first time I was wrong, especially when concerning Bella.**

"**Of course Bella, we can talk about whatever you like."**

"**Ok, I don't want this to be an argument, but can I ask you something?"**

"**Sure"**

"**Something personal"**

"**Yeah Bella, ask whatever." She sighed before she continued.**

"**How many 'girlfriends' did you have after me?" She used finger quotes for girlfriend and I wasn't sure why.**

"**None" I replied instantly and without any feeling. **

"**You mean none besides Chelsea." I frowned because I didn't even like her real name being spoken by Bella and I certainly didn't like to think about her.**

"**No, and Chelsea certainly was not my girlfriend and I think I liked it better when you called her Kelsey."**

"**Yeah, well I guess I'm done being petty. Well, not entirely because I still fucking hate her so much." She said it in a low growl between clenched teeth. It was always alarming to hear Bella speak that way because very rarely did she ever use the language I used every other word.**

"**You know I don't care if you hate her, but it was my fault. Everything was my fault."**

"**But I can't hate you. I've tried and it doesn't work. **_**Her **_**though**_**, **_**I can hate **_**her**_** easily."**

"**Why?"**

"**Because I was so jealous of her, maybe I still am." Her voice was quiet and her head dropped down in shame. **

"**You're jealous of Chelsea?" I asked slowly in disbelief and she gave a small nod, but never looked up. "But why?" I asked incredulously not giving her a chance to answer, not that I thought she would anyway. "You're so beautiful and she's mediocre at best. She's so vapid and daft and I'm certain that I could call her either one of those things to her face and her only reply would probably be 'thank you'." I just shook my head, confused that she would feel that way.**

**She finally looked up at me and the hurt in her eyes was overwhelming. **

"**None of that mattered. It didn't matter to me because it hadn't mattered to you. Of all the differences between her and I it was only **_**you**_** that made me jealous. She had what I couldn't."**

"**It wasn't that you couldn't, Bella -." She held her hand out to stop me and for some reason I did.**

"**Edward, I know what I said to you, but I tried to take it back. I put myself out there and you rejected me. You were rude and shitty and then ran off with **_**her**_**. I don't care what you thought it was horrible and I felt used, thrown away, replaced…" She trailed off and I could see tears streaming down her face and it almost made me fucking cry too.**

"**No one could ever replace you." I said quietly because I was ashamed of myself and I really didn't think it would help.**

"**Why? Because I'm pregnant with your child. I just hope you had enough sense to use a fucking condom since I would really prefer that my child not be related to any child of hers." **

"**Fuck, Bella. That's not why I'm with you and you should know that and there was never a need for a condom." I said pointedly. She laughed a low, dark laugh.**

"**Uh huh, Yeah, I've heard that before."**

"**That's not what I meant." I said in a harsher tone than I meant to. "We never had sex. I told you that the other night."**

"**No, you didn't. You said that she was never **_**here**_**. There's a big difference between being somewhere and fucking someone. You know what, Edward? Your communication skills suck." She had returned my harsh tone and even raised it a notch.**

"**I'd like to disagree with you, but apparently it's the truth!" I shouted even though I was agreeing with her and I did undoubtedly agree with her.**

"**I didn't want to argue with you." She sobbed.**

"**We are not arguing, Bella. I'm sorry I shouted, I'm just so angry with myself. I don't want to mess things up again; I don't want to be without you."**

"**I don't want to be without you either." She whimpered.**

"**The day" I choked, but continued. "The day that you left with Jacob, the last day you were in school, I knew I couldn't be with anyone if I wasn't with you. I didn't **_**want**_** to be with anyone else. I was with **_**her**_** when I thought I couldn't be with you, that you didn't want to be with me. I eventually realized that even if I could never be with you, I couldn't be with anyone else; I would rather be alone. And I was until now. That is if you want to be with me, be my girlfriend or whatever the fuck you want to call it."**

**There was some light shining into my room and I could see the expression on Bella's face almost resembled that of amusement. "So, you need a label other than 'baby momma'?"**

"**Oh for Christ's sake. I most certainly do not need a label. I merely need to be with you to be happy, but please for the love of God, please, do not use that horrid term again to describe yourself…please." She laughed a really beautiful laugh.**

"**So, class ring, letterman jacket, bona fide girlfriend, huh?"**

"**Yes, any of that, all of that, more than that. Commitment doesn't scare me anymore, being without you again is the only thing that truly frightens me."**

"**And there was no one else?"**

"**No, and there will never be anyone else. Is that what you were worried about earlier?"**

"**Yes." **

"**Then I wished we would have discussed it before."**

"**Well, it wasn't exactly a planned thing."**

"**True, but it never has been and it's been amazing every time, Bella." I whispered it in her ear and then kissed her just once, but very passionately nonetheless. "Go to sleep, **_**my**_** Bella, I know how tired you are."**

**She nodded and she fell asleep nuzzled against me and soon after that I fell asleep also.**

**The sun was just starting to rise when I woke up and went to the bathroom. I was planning on trying to get out of school for one more day, but I didn't know if I could talk my dad into calling in my absence again. I brushed my teeth and made an attempt to tame my hair with little success, but then I heard a horrible screeching sound coming from my room and I ran out of the bathroom to find Bella sitting up in the bed and screaming her head off. I ran to her and held her until she calmed down.**

"**Are you ok?" She nodded, but she was as pale as a ghost and there was a shimmer of sweat all over her face, not to mention the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. She nodded again, but it didn't look like she was ok. "The nightmare again?" She had the nightmare the other night and I hated that all that shit haunted her in her sleep.**

"**No, it was a new nightmare. It was horrible." She choked out. "I dreamt that everything that happened the past few days was just a dream and in my dream I woke up at Renee's and you were gone and I couldn't find you and then the baby…he was gone too. Then when I woke up for real you were gone and I just started screaming. I'm sorry." She was sobbing and I just rocked her in my arms.**

"**You don't have to be sorry. I sometimes worry that this is a dream too or at the very least that you'll come to your senses." I kissed her forehead and she seemed to have calmed down. I would do this every morning if I had to, but I really didn't want her to have to go through that shit. I just hoped that these fucking nightmares would go away.**

**There was a knock at my door. "Edward, is everything ok?"**

"**Yeah Dad, hold on."**

"**Bella, your clothes are in the closet if you want to get dressed. I'll just be a minute." She nodded and then I took off to explain to my father why Bella was screaming her head off. **

**I slipped out of the room, closing the door behind me, and met my father's startled look.**

"**Bella has nightmares." I said flatly.**

"**I thought she was going to sleep in the guest room."**

"**She started out there, but then came here." That was pretty much the truth, although I was failing to see what the big deal was. "It's not like she's gonna get pregnant again." He didn't seem to care much for that statement, albeit true, but he just changed the subject.**

"**You need to go to school today, Alice tells me you have a calculus test." Fuck I did have a calculus test.**

"**Well, I did really want to stay home one more day. You know I could just make the test up."**

"**Edward, there may be a day that you much rather stay home. Such as the next doctor's appointment, so you really should use your absent days more wisely." He was fucking right.**

"**That's true." I grumbled.**

"**Come straight home from school, so that we can all speak."**

**I agreed and he left to go to work I assumed. I went back in my room so that I could get dressed to go to school and take a fucking test that I had completely forgotten about.**

**When I walked back in I didn't see Bella, but I assumed that she was in the bathroom, so I went to the closet to get my clothes.**

**When I walked in I nearly walked right in to Bella who was just standing there in the doorway and then I remembered what was in there…the weight lifting bench.**

"**Is that the um…" She pointed at it and looked up at me with her big, doe eyes. They still had the look of innocence just like that night in the parking lot.**

"**Yes, that's it." She gave me a questioning look because clearly that didn't explain what the fuck it was doing in my closet. "I stole it. I was sick of that fucker Newton always using it, so I just took it one day."**

"**Because you were sick of Mike lifting weights on it?" She asked slowly and skeptically like she was trying to make sense of what I just told her, but clearly it didn't.**

"**It reminds me of you…of us…and it pissed me off when his sweaty ass was all over it. I didn't think you would approve, but I did it anyway."**

"**You didn't think I'd approve?"**

"**No, I didn't think you would approve. Actually, I could almost hear your voice when I stole it telling me it was a bad idea and the wrong thing to do, but I guess it didn't matter because I took it anyway." I really don't know why I did it. I'm not sure if I planned to sleep, lift weights, or jerk off on it because I really didn't put much thought into it and have actually done none of those things, or anything, on it at all. I was staring at it, frowning to myself, thinking that it **_**was**_** a stupid thing to do and I should've listened to Bella even if it really was just my subconscious speaking to me.**

"**So" She paused for a moment and I was still staring at the stupid bench and scolding myself. "You haven't used it…you know since it's been here?"**

**I shook my head. "I don't even have weights." Maybe I should take it back, but with my luck I would get caught returning it. **

"**But what you said last night was the truth. There was no one else, right?" She sounded panicked and desperate for confirmation.**

"**Bella, what I said was the truth. There was no one else." If there had been it would've been a huge disappointment, I'm sure of this from the one time I came dangerously close with Chelsea, and having done it in the very spot where I had been with the most perfect woman ever would've just been asking for failure.**

"**Ok, it's done I won't bring it up again." She was using my words from last night and I was glad this topic, for the both of us, was settled.**

**She walked over to the fucking bench, again with the pun, and ran her fingers over it almost lovingly. It made a shiver go up my spine as if she were touching my own skin. She then turned around to leave the closet with the bag of her clothes in her hand. When she walked past me her fingertips did brush against my arm giving me the same shiver as when she hadn't even touched me at all.**

**I decided to get dressed in the closet and I just threw on a pair of jeans, which happened to be the 'dragged behind a truck' jeans that I hadn't worn in some time and a gray sweater that I knew Alice had gotten at the mall strictly for the fancy logo it had, but I liked it because it was soft and comfortable and it was still early spring and a little fucking cold outside. **

**I walked out to see Bella sitting on the bed in her pink, purplish shirt with some fucking design on it and her nicely fitting jeans. She had gotten the smallest size they had because she wasn't very big at all. I mean for her, sure she was a lot bigger, but for a pregnant chick she really wasn't that big. She did look cute as hell reading the book I knew she had already read and biting on her bottom lip.**

"**Do you usually read books you've already read?" I teased her.**

"**Actually, I do." She looked up from the book and smiled at me. "You don't even want to know how many times I've read Wuthering Heights."**

"**Probably not, since once seemed like one too many to me." Her mouth dropped open and I wasn't sure what her reaction was going to be.**

"**I will pretend you didn't just say that." She huffed and looked back down to the book pretending to be genuinely offended and I laughed because she truly was funny and she laughed back.**

"**Bella, I have to go to school today because of some bullshit test I have. Shit, I didn't even ask if you had to go to work or anything today."**

"**I do, at 5:00 tonight." **

"**At the grocery store?" I knew she said she was going to put her notice in at the diner, but so much shit had been going on I hadn't even asked her about it.**

"**Yes, I only have one job now." She said smugly and she didn't look up again from the book.**

"**Oh, so you did quit the other job?"**

"**No. Well, I tried, but they just let me go since apparently they don't condone dumping drinks on customers."**

"**Alice told them it was her fault. She said that she was clumsy."**

"**I know and I was quitting anyway. I just didn't like being fired. Well, not really fired, but they said my two weeks notice wasn't 'necessary'. I know that it really didn't have anything to do with Alice. It was a convenient excuse for them to use since no one from the police department came in anymore since I started working there. Maybe if I didn't need the job so bad I would've cared that Charlie went there everyday, but I really didn't give a shit at that moment." Then she mumbled something that sounded like "fucking douche heads" and I had to stifle my laughter.**

"**Bella, this may not be a good time to ask you this, but do you want to stay here, you know live here?"**

"**I don't want to be away from you." She stated matter-of-factly and I took it as a yes.**

"**Ok. Well, do you want to go to Emily's to get some more of your stuff? I can drop you off before I go to school." I really didn't know how she would feel about sitting here all day and I knew from personal experience that it sucked.**

"**Oh yeah, I should do that, especially before you leave for the day." She got up and started getting her sweater and stuff. I wasn't sure if I should ask her this question, but I figured it was better to get it over with.**

"**Bella, what happened to your truck?" Maybe it just died since that thing was a fucking antique.**

"**I don't have a truck." She said in the same smug tone that she informed me that she did not go to her mother's on her "own accord". Bella's bottom lip was puffed out a little and if it wasn't so fucking sad looking it would've almost been comical.**

"**I'm sorry, Bella."**

"**Yeah well, don't be. It's Charlie's fault not yours."**

"**Maybe he'll change his mind and-"**

"**No Edward, it's gone. He sold it to some old farmer guy. Some big, furry mutt rides in the back of it now and it's just not mine anymore." She sighed and flipped the page of the book that she had picked back up.**

**I sat next to her and put my hand on her leg. "You know, I could try to buy it from the dude." She looked up at me with wide eyes and smiled.**

**The next thing I knew she was sitting on my lap, just like last night, and kissing me, also just like last night.**

"**Bella, I can only try ok?" I really didn't want to get her hopes up in case the farmer didn't want to give it up.**

"**But, you would do that? For me?"**

"**Of course I would. I would do anything for you." She smiled and was still sitting on my lap.**

"**Sorry, I guess I should quit doing that." She said with a laugh as she stood up.**

"**No, you really shouldn't, just not 10 minutes before I have to be at school." I grabbed my jacket and backpack and we headed down the stairs. It seemed that everyone else had already left. "So Bella, do you know where that guy lives?" I was thinking I could probably go there tomorrow after school.**

"**Yeah, I do, but I don't want the truck back. I mean, I'm really pissed that Charlie used it to get back at me and it sucks not having a vehicle, but the truth is it really wasn't the type of vehicle that should have a baby in it anyway. I'm just touched that you would try to get it back for me, that's just so sweet."**

"**I guess that's true about the safety thing." I definitely could not picture a car seat strapped in that monstrosity. "But, you know you can drive my car anytime. You can even use it when I'm in school." I hadn't ever let anyone drive my car before, but I knew that Bella wasn't going to do anything crazy with it.**

"**That's really nice, Edward. Maybe I can drive it a little before I borrow it, though."**

"**Sure. That sounds good." It really did too. I would worry less about Bella, and the car, if I knew she was familiar with it.**

**I drove her to Emily's and I told her about meeting my dad after school. Bella just nodded and didn't say anything, but I knew that she had been anticipating this conversation for a few days or perhaps it was more like dreading it for a few days. Right before we got there she told me that Emily had the day off and I could tell that Bella was excited to be able to spend the day with her. I kissed her goodbye and left even though it was really fucking hard to do and then drove to school.**

**I hated driving to school without her knowing that she should be there too. That she would be if it wasn't for me. I hated that she had to drop out. I was deep in thought about Bella finishing school and getting her a car, so that she wouldn't be left stranded while pregnant or even after the baby was born.**

**I walked into the school a few minutes late and passed my father in the hallway.**

"**What are you doing here?"**

"**We'll talk about it later." It was obviously not up for discussion and he rushed out the doors.**

**I tried to remember if I had done anything that would warrant a visit to the principal and I couldn't think of one so I made my way to class.**

**I barely took notes in my classes, even though I did pretend to, I know I aced my calculus test that I didn't even study for, and Alice mostly ignored me at lunch. The day fucking drug on and by the time the last bell rung I was literally running to my car.**

**I had to continuously slow down on my way to La Push knowing that it would be horrible if I got pulled over since I doubt I would've fought the urge to punch Chief Swan in the fucking face.**

**I got to Emily's relatively quickly and put two bags of Bella's stuff in the trunk. It wasn't much at all, but Bella said it was all she had. Between the 15 minutes she had to pack her stuff for the plane ride to Jacksonville and the limited amount of shit she could carry with her on the Greyhound bus that she took back here, it really didn't leave her with much.**

"**Don't worry, Bella. We'll get anything that you need. You can even order it online if you don't want to go all the way to the store." I knew she hated to fucking shop, honestly I did too, so I knew that would be easier for her.**

"**Thanks, Edward." She said quietly.**

"**Don't be nervous, ok? They already know and everything's going to be fine." I rubbed her leg while I drove because I knew that she was dreading this conversation. I was just anxious to get it over with.**

"**Edward I have to ask you something." She blurted it out really fast and it made me nervous as to what she was going to ask.**

"**Sure, ask anything." I said trying to sound calm like it was no big deal.**

"**What about Harvard?"**

"**What about Harvard, Bella?"**

"**You're going in the fall, right?"**

"**I honestly don't know. I didn't even know that she knew about Harvard, but a lot of things have changed and Harvard really wasn't a top priority anymore. Not that it ever really was, not for me anyway, just for my father."**

"**If there's a way for you to still go I think you should. We'll figure it out. I just want you to know that I don't want you to miss out on that and I don't want you to blame us or for your parents to blame us and-" I didn't like how she was pairing herself with the baby alone. It was all three of us now and that's the only way I wanted it.**

"**We **_**will**_** figure it out. You and I will make our future work out for us and our baby. Don't worry about my parents and I don't want you to worry about this. You're not alone anymore and you don't have to be solely responsible for anything." She nodded her head and squeezed my hand as I pulled into the driveway. **

**We went straight to the den where Esme and my father were waiting on the sofa, talking casually between themselves. It seemed that Alice had went to Jasper's after school, thank goodness.**

"**Oh good, you guys are here." Esme had a big smile on her face which was usual for her, but I hadn't ever really acknowledged how pleasant she really was before now. She hugged Bella before we sat down and my father wasted no time as he started speaking.**

"**I want to start by saying that Edward has informed us about your parents' reaction and also their suggestions as to what they think you should do. We understand that you've both decided that you want to keep the baby."**

**Bella was clutching my arm and I knew that she expected me to do most of the talking. "Yes, we are absolutely keeping him." Bella nodded her head next to me.**

"**Bella," my dad started and I grew nervous about what he was going to say. I really wanted to keep my temper under control, but if he made her cry or some shit I don't think I could contain myself. "You know you are welcome to stay here, but I wanted to discuss a few things with you." She nodded her head and I continued to glare at him as he began to speak again.**

"**Well, I apologize up front for having been so forward in my actions, but I was only doing what I thought would be in your best interest, the same thing I would do for Alice if it were her in this situation." Bella, seemed even more fucking nervous and I couldn't help but to feel angry about it. "I spoke to the school today about you finishing and it took some persuasion, but it seems we have worked out an accord. You have missed quite a bit, but since you did attend school in Florida you really haven't missed that many days of school. They have agreed to allow my wife and I to home school you in the material that you need caught up in and then you will take your tests and finals at the school. If you pass then you will still graduate." **

"**Oh my God, that's so wonderful!" She had tears in her eyes and I was fucking ecstatic too because I was desperate for her to graduate. I was still looking at my dad and I knew that there was something else.**

"**But, there's bad news?" I asked. **

"**Well, it seems that in order to convince the school that this was necessary and that we would be able to catch up on all of the assignments by working with Bella one on one, something the school wouldn't be able to do, I had to tell them that Bella was on bed rest." If I were to guess he also had to threaten them with his lawyer, his very good friend from the almighty Harvard who ended up graduating from Harvard Law the same year my father graduated from Harvard Medical. Having the school on his side though made it so much easier for Bella to graduate and she would be able to graduate with her class, like she should.**

"**Well, that's not really bad, right?" Bella interjected in a hopeful tone.**

"**You won't be able to work and we'll need to inform the grocery store at once." My father informed her hesitantly.**

"**But, I already gave up one of my jobs!" She was panicked and on the verge of tears. **

"**Bella, it's ok. I'll get a job if one of us has to work." My dad gave me a skeptical look because he knew I had an adequate amount of money in savings, money I hadn't even had a chance to tell Bella about yet, and also, and probably more importantly, I knew he was thinking about Harvard.**

"**I just want to be able to do my part and contribute. It's not right if you have to do everything, Edward." She was crying, but before I could speak up my father did.**

"**Bella, the most important thing for you to do right now is to take care of yourself and make sure you're healthy so that the baby is healthy. You also need your education, so you'll be able to accomplish your goals for the future. You were planning to go to college, right?"**

**The beginning of that speech was very touching and I knew it made Bella feel better, but I wasn't surprised in the least by how he, so eloquently, drifted to the subject of college. Bella was very perceptive to know that this topic would definitely be discussed. **

"**I was planning on it, but now I plan to wait. I'll work and take care of the baby while Edward goes to college." I didn't say anything because I thought it was premature to decide either way. Judging by the look of my dad, he seemed to like Bella's answer well enough.**

"**I see, well we can see about both of you attending college. We could even take the baby-"**

"**Over my dead body." Bella said without hesitation, but then she seemed slightly remorseful for saying it, but I could tell that she meant it nonetheless. **

"**No, not like that just take care of him as guardians while you guys are finishing college."**

"**We appreciate all your help, but we intend to keep the baby with us since we are his parents, we have every intention to raise him as a family." I said it quickly before Bella could get any more upset and I stroked her hand knowing that it would calm her down.**

"**Well, good. I wasn't quite sure what the status was between the two of you, so that's good news indeed and I do apologize for the way that it sounded."**

"**No, Carlisle I'm sorry. I just over react about that type of thing." Bella sighed and leaned on my shoulder, the conversation really wasn't going that badly. It could be a lot worse and I didn't even want to think about how it went with Bella's dad. I wish I had been there, but knowing that he was in possession of multiple firearms I suppose it was better that I wasn't.**

**My dad nodded at her and everything seemed fine. We talked about making the guest room into the baby's nursery or rather Esme discussed it since she loved to do that type of thing. It was settled that we would all live here until it was time to go to college. **

**I agreed that I would still attend Harvard in the fall since that's what everyone seemed to want and as long as I had Bella I didn't give a fuck. I was going to go without her, so why wouldn't I go with her? They discussed the possibility of Bella going to Cambridge, but it was obvious to me that she wasn't getting her hopes up about anything, but she agreed that she would apply. **

**My father said that he would take care of the housing issue since he was the one making all of my arrangements anyway.**

**We talked a little more, Bella seemed to have relaxed a great deal and my father had already excused himself so that he could fax the doctor's note, he so conveniently had, stating that Bella was on bed rest to the asshole manager over at the grocery store.**

**Alice had came in at the end of our conversation and she had ignored us completely as she went upstairs to her room.**

**Bella and I went up to **_**our **_**room when Esme went to start dinner. Bella had offered to help, but Esme had insisted that she needed to take it easy instead.**

**Bella sat on the bed and I told her I would bring her stuff in from the car. She told me that she still needed to talk to Alice and she looked really nervous about that shit. I wished her luck, it was just Alice after all, and I went out to my car.**

**BPOV**

My hand was shaking as I knocked on Alice's door. I was more nervous than I had been the entire conversation with Edward's parents. I don't know what it was about Alice that made me so nervous, but I was.

Maybe it was her view on adoption, not just that, but she was an adoptee and that was different than my crackpot mother that pushed adoption for a reason that I didn't really know about, with Alice I knew why because she had told me. Adoption gave her a wonderful life and family and that's why she thought it was the best option even though I knew, for this baby, it wasn't. I just didn't know if I could get her to accept that. So, I guess that would be why I was so nervous.

Alice and Edward were extremely close and I didn't want to be a strain on their relationship and I didn't want her to not be a part of the baby's life either. She was his only aunt after all. Well, when Emmett gets married he'll have another aunt, but Alice was so close to Edward that I just thought she would be close to the baby too. I sighed and knocked one more time.

"Just come in Edward. I know you're stubborn ass will eventually barge in anyway."

I opened the door slowly and peered in. "You didn't know it was me?" It always seemed like Alice knew everything. It was creepy until you got used to it and honestly I wasn't really used to it yet, but I at least knew the odds were usually in her favor. She just shrugged her shoulders and continued to sulk on her bed.

"I'm upset and I have a headache, so I'm not really trying."

"Oh, well can I have a minute of your time?"

"Sure Bella, sit down." She was humoring me, I could tell that she didn't really want to talk right now.

"Alice, I just wanted to apologize for what happened at the diner. I feel really bad about it and I feel really bad about spilling juice all over your dress too, but I think I soaked it well enough for it not to stain." I was rambling now, but at least she was looking at me and listening.

"I don't care about those things. I know Edward is mad at me for saying those things to you because he would do anything you asked of him and I really don't think _this _is fair and although I'm sorry for upsetting you, I'm not sorry for my opinion which remains the same."

"Alice, I understand that _you_ are grateful for _your_ life, but don't you see that I would be depriving a baby of that same life if I _did_ put it up for adoption? Carlisle who has always been a loving father and I know what a nurturing mother Esme is, doesn't this baby deserve them as grandparents as much as they deserve to be grandparents and Edward-"

"Yes, what about Edward? What about his future and yours?"

"Alice, I'm going to be able to finish high school and Edward _will_ go to Harvard. I don't care what it takes, I would feel horrible if he had to give that up, but he doesn't. I will either wait to attend college or start in the fall also, either way I will go to college too. Things will work out."

"I know he loves you. I'm just surprised by how much, even though I really shouldn't be. The two of you belong together, just like Jasper and I belong together. It just seems like your lives would be easier or better if the baby wasn't in the way. You know, like how I was in the way for my biological mother."

"Alice, you weren't in the way, your biological mother had a problem with drugs and the state had to take you away. Her addiction was the problem not you." Edward had told me a few details about Alice's adoption in explaining how her situation was tremendously different than ours, one of the reasons he was so pissed at her for saying the things she said at the diner. He knew that she didn't care what he told me because she had actually said "I don't give a fuck what you tell Bella." and it helped me understand why she was so freaked out by Edward's careless drug binge a few months ago.

"It doesn't feel that way, Bella." She was crying and I held her in my arms as she sobbed. "You've worked so hard and you would fight for your baby, but my mom just let me go."

"Do you know if she got clean or went to rehab?"

"She went to rehab once, but it didn't work, 18 months later she died of a drug overdose. I found out just this past year and it's been really hard. I don't remember what it was like with her because I was just a baby. I only remember my life here as a Cullen." Her voice was faint and remorseful sounding.

"Maybe that's a good thing."

"Yeah, but I still feel like a part of myself is missing and when I found out that my biological mother was dead it felt like I would never find that missing piece."

"Then you see that it wouldn't be the best option for this baby, right? You're his aunt and I know that you would want to be a part of his life."

"I'm not _really_ his aunt though and I don't even know if I would feel like his aunt. I did think adoption would be best, but I think it was for selfish reasons." She was crying again and I felt so bad that she had to deal with all of this stuff.

"What do you mean, Alice?"

"I feel so horrible, but I'm jealous of the baby. It's just a little defenseless baby that's not even born yet and I'm so jealous because now Edward will have this connection with the baby that only he and I used to have. Edward has always been like my real brother even though I knew he wasn't and it just seems like…" She was sobbing again on my shoulder. "I know you probably hate me." She wept.

"Alice, I don't hate you and Edward could never hate you and you are this baby's real aunt because you're his dad's sister. I'm not mad at you and I know that your relationship isn't going to change with Edward."

"Bella, I'm sorry that I let my issues affect you. I'm usually really perceptive, but I let my insecurities run wild and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or make you upset, I'm so sorry."

"I know you are, Alice." She had helped me bring Edward his homework even though things went terribly wrong that night and when I was leaving she consoled me or at least tried. I know that she helped Edward look for me. She was the one that called Charlie and covered for me in front of Dr. Cullen when I was here the other night. She really did want things to work out for us, she just has issues from her past that she's still dealing with.

"We're gonna be great friends you know. Everything's gonna work out just fine." She sighed and we both laid back on her bed and she patted my stomach. I'm beginning to think it may be good luck or something because people's hands just seemed drawn to it.

"Oh, he kicked me!"

"Yeah, he does that when he gets disturbed."

"Aw, I'm sorry little baby for waking you up." Alice cooed and talked to the baby as she rubbed my stomach. He kicked some more, but I think it was because he liked her voice. "Hmm" she said with a furrowed brow as she looked at my stomach.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just trying to tell if this is a foot or maybe a knee or elbow."

"It's probably all of the above." And I meant it. When Joey was active he was very active.

We talked for a little while longer until Edward came in to check on us.

We went back to his room and I freshened up before dinner. We sat at the big table in the dining room again, except this time it was all of us, with the exception of Jasper. It was a nice dinner. Esme really was a good cook and we all talked about our day.

It was nice, like a real family. Growing up it was usually just my mother and I, so we seldom had a sit down dinner. Even when I was old enough to cook us a decent meal, one that wasn't handed to us out of a window or came from a microwavable container, we still spent most mealtimes on the couch. This was a pleasant change, this is how I wanted it to be when it would be just Edward and I with our baby. I smiled a the thought and I could picture the bronze haired, green eyed little boy sitting in a high chair next to us at the table. I was still lost in my daydream when I heard Dr. Cullen's voice.

"So, Emmett and Rosalie are coming down for the weekend." Dr, Cullen had said it more towards Edward and I didn't see Esme or Alice give much of a response. Edward just nodded at his father and continued to eat. "I haven't said anything to him about Bella or the baby."

"That's fine. We'll tell them." '_Oh boy, more people to tell' _I thought sarcastically. At least I wouldn't have to _say_ much. My stomach was pretty obvious and Edward was good at doing the talking. He looked at me and smiled my favorite crooked smile. I knew he was telling me that everything was going to be fine and I believed him. I smiled back and finished eating.

We went into his bedroom and I saw my stuff on the floor that I needed to go through and put away. Edward went back downstairs to ask his dad what time Emmett was supposed to be here on Friday or maybe we would be spared until Saturday morning. He knew I was nervous about it, mainly because I had been really close to Emmett, like a brother, and I was worried about how he would react.

"I'll be right back, Love." He kissed my forehead and left the room. It made my skin tingle when he called me that and I knew I had a big grin on my face.

I decided that I would make the bed so I could lay my clothes and stuff out on it. I would have to ask Edward if I could hang my stuff in the closet or if he wanted me to put them somewhere else. I wasn't even entirely sure that there was enough space in that entire huge closet for my measly amount of clothes. Edward Cullen was well dressed, that was for sure.

I shook the blankets out so that I could reposition them on the bed and when I did something fell to the floor. I looked down and noticed what it was right away. It was my letter that I had set down on the bed last night. After my wise decision to take a late night bath the letter had never gotten put away. I blushed just thinking about Edward and I in the bathtub, but I didn't dwell on it since I really preferred not to be as red as a tomato when he returned.

I picked up the letter and went to put it back in the drawer that I saw Edward take it out of. When I opened the drawer I saw my teddy bear that Edward had given me or at least it looked like the teddy bear that he had given me. I picked it up and that's when I saw the picture of me. I was holding both and probably looking rather confused when I heard Edward walk up behind me.

"Bella?"

"I was just putting the letter away. I was making the bed and it fell." I was talking fast and pointing to the floor where it fell like it somehow mattered. "I was just trying to tidy up. I really wasn't trying to go through your stuff, Edward." I know I sounded frantic, but I didn't want him to think I was snooping. I really didn't want him to decide after only a couple of days that he didn't want me to stay here.

"Bella, I didn't think you were going through my stuff and it doesn't really matter anyway. I'm not hiding anything although you probably think it's weird that I have that stuff." He sounded self conscious and I was just glad that he wasn't mad at me.

"So, this _is _my bear." I snuggled it close to my chest. I had forgot to pack it in my haste and I had been rather upset about it the entire time I was at Renee's because I wanted to give it to the baby. It would've been the only thing from his dad I could've given him, but now that wasn't an issue. I still cried a little thinking about it. "How did you get it? It got left behind when I got kicked out of Charlie's house."

"I…um…kind of went into your room after I found out that you were gone. I laid on your bed for awhile and then left, taking the bear with me." He was looking down and fidgeting with his hands.

"That's sweet in a moderately creepy kind of way, but still sweet." He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Did you ever do that…before I left?" I wasn't sure about asking, but I knew he would answer anything I asked.

"Once." He said solemnly and I didn't like the expression on his face. "It was the day…the day I left with _her." _He choked out. "I wasn't sure what I was doing, of course I was drunk so that didn't help, much of that time I was drunk, so I really don't know what I intended to achieve by going there. I guess I just wanted to see you."

"And you did?" I hated to think about that time as much as he did and I could feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

"Yes. You looked beautiful. Your hair was all fanned out around you on your pillow. You talk in you in your sleep, you know."

"Yes, I've been told as much by my mother." If it had been another night I would've been afraid that I would've said something related to one of my dirty Edward dreams, but that night I knew I didn't have a dream like that at all. "Usually, I just mumble off the wall stuff."

He was staring off to the side of the room, like he was looking out the window and it wasn't even like he was talking to me, it was more like he was just speaking out loud as he remembered.

"I thought I had woke you up when I opened the window. Your voice was sad and I've heard your words many times in my dreams 'Edward, how could you do this to me?' It was one of the times I was certain that I wasn't good enough for you."

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "There's no one better because there's no one else for me." I whispered it against his chest and I could feel his warm hands on my back.

"And there's no one else for me, there's only you." He kissed the top of my head and I didn't want to think about that time anymore. I hated that time in our lives and I would be happy when it was long behind us.

"What about this photo? How did you get it?" I knew he didn't take it from my room and I only vaguely recognized it. It wasn't even a real photograph; it was printed on paper from a computer I assumed.

"Myspace." He answered simply.

"I don't have a myspace."

"I know. It's from Angela's."

"Hmm. How resourceful of you." I really couldn't be mad or freaked out because if I could've had a picture of Edward I would've gotten one too. I had actually wanted one when I was in Jacksonville, but myspace never really occurred to me, not that I even knew you could print stuff from there anyway.

"I suppose. I kept it in my locker for awhile and then I put in the drawer…_your_ drawer." I had a drawer. I don't know why I thought that was sweet, but I did. It was the drawer with the picture, the letter, and the bear plus the big binder of Edward's private investigation had been in there too, but I think that was gone now.

"Ok enough of that sad stuff. I was just making the bed so I could go through my stuff and put it away, but I wasn't really sure where you would want me to put all of it."

"I can clear you a drawer or you can put stuff in the closet. I don't care where you put your stuff."

"Oh, good. So, my Hello Kitty lamp can go right there, right?" His face blanched and I laughed at him. "I'm just kidding, Edward." I was still laughing and started to fix the blanket on one side and Edward did the other.

When the bed was all made he had moved to his tall dresser across the room.

"I'm gonna give you this top drawer so you don't have to bend down." He was redistributing his things from the top drawer to other drawers and I took some of my books out of one of the bags.

"I'm going to put these next to yours on the shelf, if that's ok." He turned around quickly and I started laughing at him again. "They're just books, Edward. No dolphin figurines or Hello Kitties here. The most offensive thing is probably my copy of Wuthering Heights." I said, mocking his apparent dislike for my favorite book.

"You're so funny, Bella, and yes I suppose Catcher in the Rye and To Kill a Mockingbird will have to accept being in such poor company." It was fun when he played along with my teasing.

"Oh, I don't have those. Now I'll have something to read that I haven't read in awhile." I said seriously.

He helped me put the rest of my things away and it really didn't take long. He told me again that he would get me anything I needed, but I wasn't so sure. I didn't want to take advantage of his and his family's generosity.

"Do you watch very much television?" I asked while I sat on the bed. He had a very large, flat screen on the wall, but I had never seen him turn it on.

"Sometimes, but I guess I don't need the distraction when you're here." He smiled at me and every time that he did it always made my heart flutter. "We can watch a movie or something."

"Yeah, that sounds good." We sat on the bed and I leaned on him while he was writing a paper for English that compared two of Shakespeare's plays. He asked me some questions and read me a few sentences which I corrected as tactfully as I could, but he didn't seem to mind. I knew how smart Edward was, he really didn't need any help form me.

"I used to always do my homework with Alice, but now she's usually with Jasper so sometimes we all do our homework together. It's often the same or something one of us has already done." I gave him a scolding look and he rolled his eyes at me. "We don't cheat, Bella, it's like a study group or some shit."

"Well, that's nice. It must've been cool to have a sister to do homework with and stuff when you were growing up." I was an only child, so I didn't know anything about that type of camaraderie.

"Yeah, it was and soon we were helping Emmett with his homework." He laughed and I laughed too, knowing just what that entailed. It was a few weeks of tutoring before I curbed Emmett's pencil throwing fits that came about when he got frustrated. Emmett was good at many things, but English was not one of them. "You know, we can help you with your work too. It's not like you need my dad hovering over you with a textbook. You could probably ace the finals now without all this shit." The truth was we both probably could.

"That would be nice Edward. Especially since I know you're way better at calculus than me."

"Yeah, well you're way better at this Romeo and Juliet shit than me." He pointed towards his paper and we both laughed.

His dad had said that the school would be sending all of my books and assignments home by Friday, giving the teachers a few days to gather everything.

I was honestly looking forward to it. I didn't know if I would actually go to graduation since I would be as big as a house by then, but if I did I knew I would be standing next to Edward since he was the valedictorian and I was the salutatorian, or at least I was.

When the movie was over I changed into the nightgown that Edward had gotten me and crawled back into bed. He had already changed into gray and green, flannel pants and a gray t-shirt. He looked sexy in anything well, more so in nothing. I scolded myself for being so perverted, but it seemed lately that I couldn't help myself.

We kissed goodnight and I laid my head on his chest. His fingers were combing through my long hair and I was content in the routine that we had fallen into. It was supposed to be this way, just he and I; Edward and Bella.

***

I woke up with a start, but at least I didn't scream this time. Edward was still deep in a peaceful slumber when I slowly edged my way off the bed and out of the room.

Now that I was completely covered I didn't feel as self conscious about running into someone while going to the kitchen, but I did hope I wouldn't encounter anyone during my 2am fridge raiding session. I still felt a little weird staying in this big house, Edward's house.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be here or that I didn't appreciate it, quite the opposite actually. It felt utterly surreal and I suppose that was part of the reason for yesterday's nightmare which I had again tonight.

I was so thrilled to find chocolate ice cream in the freezer and made a big bowl and covered it with chocolate syrup because there is no such thing as too much chocolate and I do believe Joey was kicking in agreement.

I was thinking about the bib that Edward had left me on the bed in the guest room. It was the sweetest thing ever, all of it really was, the note the flowers, I knew he really loved me.

I was picturing how cute Edward would look holding our baby, all swaddled up in a blanket, in his arms, but I was soon thinking about how Edward had held me in the bathtub.

I had the dream that I had before I left, of Edward having his way with me in my bed, many times in the past few months. It wasn't enough that Edward was by far the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on, but when we touched it ignited something in me. When I was near him I always felt drawn to be closer.

I admit the first night I was here I was a little frightened when he offered that I take a bath for fear that he would want to join, but he had been nothing but gentlemanly about it. It wasn't until the second time that I felt a little put off that he didn't want to join, not that I was surprised. I had just thrown a huge fit about moving too fast, but that was when I feared that Edward only wanted to be with me out of obligation or guilt, that he only wanted a physical relationship. I couldn't do that. The two, the emotional and physical, were completely intertwined for me and I knew that I could never deny my true feelings for Edward again.

Being with him was better than I remembered it, better than any of my fantasies or dreams. It felt so good and different when I was on top of him and…

"Your ice cream is melting."

"Oh my God, Do you want to give me a heart attack, Edward!"

"I'm sorry, Love." He kissed my neck which did nothing for my racing heart.

"You're forgiven," I sighed.

"So, late night craving?"

"Yeah, we love ice cream." I said in a happy tone because we did and I shoved a spoonful in my mouth while Edward patted the lucky tummy.

"You had the nightmare again didn't you?" I nodded my head.

"So, what's your excuse?"

"I don't think I can sleep without you next me to anymore."

"Oh, you probably could."

"I don't want to find out." We smiled at each other because neither one of us wanted to find out.

I finished my ice cream and cleaned up after myself which Edward didn't say anything about this time.

"So, are you ready to go back to bed?"

"I don't think I could fall back to sleep."

"I could play you something on the piano."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

We made our way to the piano and I sat next to him on the bench just like I had the other night. I leaned my head on his shoulder, if it impaired his playing I couldn't tell and he never said anything, and I watched intently as his fingers began to move across the keys.

"Well, as you know I have been a bit pre-occupied the past few days and have not had a chance to write the happier song I've promised you, but…"

He started to play and I recognized it instantly. It was Beethoven's 9th Symphony. "Perfect. I love "The Ode to Joy".

"I knew you would appreciate the connection. "

"I just love hearing you play."

When he finished with Beethoven he followed it with the same song he had played the other night, the one that he had wrote.

After several minutes of listening to him play with my head leaning against him and breathing in his intoxicating smell I found myself inching closer and closer to him until my face was nuzzled in the crook of his neck. I lifted my head and started kissing his jaw line until I got to his ear. I sucked the spot just a little and then ran my along the outside of his ear and blew gently on it. I wasn't really sure what I was doing, but it seemed to work well in the movies and after Edward missed five notes, and he never misses a note when he plays, his hands froze and just laid idly on the piano keys.

"Fuck Bella"

"Was that a good fuck or a bad fuck?" I asked him in a fake, innocent tone that sounded surprisingly seductive and I batted my eyelashes coyly.

He picked me up with what felt like no effort at all and placed me on his lap, my nightgown rode up to my upper thighs and my thin, cotton underwear was the only barrier between me and his hard on that was only covered by a soft layer of flannel. I rocked back and forth on the massive thing much like I did in the bathtub which elicited a really sensual moan from Edward.

"Does that give you you're answer?" I nodded with a devilish grin on my face.

The aforementioned massive boner was definitely explanation enough. No, I had never seen, or felt, another penis in my life, but one doesn't need to see any other buildings to know that the Sears Tower is fucking huge.

I continued rubbing against him and was making myself really wet in the process. That hadn't really been noticeable when I was submerged in a tub of water, but that wasn't the case here. I was drenched, much like when I had attacked him against the wall, and I wanted him so bad. I placed sloppy kisses all over his neck, sucking and biting just a little.

His hands were running up and down my back and it felt really good. He wasn't doing it roughly, but his hands were firm and seemed like it was all he could do to contain himself, but I wasn't really interested in him containing himself at this moment.

I moved faster and he groaned loudly, but it was more like a growl, and it was really hot. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it over his head. He helped and it was quickly thrown aside. I heard the lid that covers the piano keys slam down and I was hoisted onto it.

I wrapped my legs around him and we were kissing passionately. I felt his hands move down over my boobs, down my sides, and then caressed my legs. His hand went up the inside of one of my thighs, but it didn't make me nervous this time. It felt good. His finger traced the line of my underwear and I whimpered with anticipation.

That was all it took before his finger was inside my underwear and sliding back and forth only adding to the wetness which I didn't even think was possible.

"You're so fucking wet for me, Bella" His voice was gravelling and animalistic like the growl as he whispered in my ear and I loved it.

I just nodded my head a couple of times really fast. Then all of a sudden his finger was inside of me and it caught me by surprise, mostly because I wasn't expecting it, but also because it felt so good. I moaned in his ear and I felt his teeth scrape against my neck. He pumped his finger in and out a few times before he removed it and he had moved back letting my feet fell to the piano bench.

Both of Edward's hands were on my hips and I whimpered a little at the distance between us, but then his hands grabbed my underwear and pulled them down with such force that I had to grab his shoulders to keep myself from falling. I whimpered again because it was even better than when I dreamt it…way better.

"I'm sorry, L-" I didn't want his apology and my lips crashed into his.

I sensed his hands moving around his pants and then he was close to me again and I sighed in relief. He kissed me all over while his finger had resumed its place. When I was beginning to feel my pleasure building his finger was gone and replaced by the tip of his penis.

He kissed my neck and lips softly and slowly and I knew he was telling me that he would be gentle. It seemed to take forever as he slowly pushed into me, but it felt so good.

He was gentle and slow and his hands caressed me all over as he kissed me and in that moment I knew that nothing was more true than his love for me and mine for him.

When we had finished I had let my sweaty body fall on his and I could feel the erratic thumping of both of our hearts as if they were having a conversation while our chests were pushed up against each other. Perhaps they were.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, _my_ Bella…forever"

I smiled at him because I liked the sound of that…very much.

**THE END**

**A/N -**

**Contest questions answered - The significance of Chelsea's name is in Breaking Dawn. The character Chelsea is a member of the Volturi who has the power to strengthen or weaken peoples' bonds.**

**Bella cries more when Edward goes to leave because he whispered in her ear "I'm so sorry" which is what he said the night she told him she was pregnant, right before she left.**

**No contest winner :( I guess I was too tricky.**

**The whole first girl I slept with in the literal sense is a true story. When I was 13 and staying at my friend's house (RIP Amber Dawn) I left her bed, or rather was pushed out, and went to her brother's room. He was 10 and awake watching TV. We watched TV until we fell asleep and he still (to this very day) tells people that I'm the first girl he slept with. We're still friends and I know he would never be reading this, but I love you, Corey.**

**The Sears Tower - Standing at 1,450 feet and 110 stories high, it's the tallest building in the western hemisphere. It's name was recently changed to Willis Tower (watcha talkin bout Willis? Lol), but I grew up near Chicago and I don't like change so fuck that, it's the Sears Tower.**

**Realistically, it would probably be uncomfortable as hell to fuck on a piano, but we're going to pretend that it's not.**

**Do you read all of my long ass author's notes? Well, good for you because that means that you'll know that TB is not over, it just sounded like it fit there. I'm mean I know. *ducks from flying tomatoes***

**I love you guys please, please review!**


	14. Chapter 14 The More Telling

"**Disclaimer - Twilight stuff is not mine. TB stuff is mine.**

**A/N-**

**Yes, I'm an a-hole (and so is Beta Lulu) because if you read the last AN's you know I played a very dirty trick on you guys (dirty like Edward and Bella on the piano and…*Lulu coughs* oh right, anyway). So, on with story and I still see several more chapters. :)**

**Housekeeping - Yes, there will be a sequel (All Bets Off) and it probably won't be right after because I've had another story in my head for a very long time and I want to write that one first. This one **_**will**_** have an epi, but the sequel will concentrate on a certain period of time and be more about Bella.**

**I plan on posting some outtakes…sometime. There's a bunch of things that just weren't usable or didn't fit that I still want to share.**

**I know everyone is dying for the bet to come out and it's coming soon, but we have some other stuff to deal with first.**

**Thanks to all the readers and to Beta Lulu!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 14**

**The More Telling**

**EPOV**

It was Friday afternoon and I was sitting on my bed next to Bella with my phone in my hand and Emmett's number on the screen. My finger hovered over the send button as it had for the past 15 minutes.

Bella had gotten the bulk of her school work today and for some reason that excited the shit out of her. She was labeling a map for Geography and I knew she was continuously stealing glances at me, but other than that she was ignoring my idiocy.

Finally, I pressed the damn button and listened to the ringing. I was getting ready to hang up when I heard my brother's voice.

"Hey, little bro what's up?"

"Hey Emmett, I just wanted to talk to you before you and Rose got here."

"Yeah, that would be good since I doubt you'll talk to us when we get there." His tone was rude, but I knew it was justified because all of the times they had visited in the past few months I had barely made an appearance and when I did I wouldn't talk or be much company at all. I see now how unpleasant I truly was during that time. I hadn't even gone to visit them once in Seattle since last year, even though my family and even Alice and Jasper on their own had gone up there several times.

"I know Em, I'm sorry about that. I was just going through some shit, but it's better now and that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah?" he asked skeptically. You're finally coming out of the closet?"

"No." I said in a growl because I was trying to have a serious conversation with him and he was pissing me off.

"Well, that's too bad." He said seriously.

"Fuck asshole, I'm trying to fucking talk to you so quit being a fucking douche!" I saw Bella shake her head a little, clearly in disapproval, but she never looked up from her paper.

"Sorry dude, geez. Fine, have your serious discussion then, Mr. Serious." His voice was taunting, but I was done giving a shit, all I had to do was spill the beans and then Bella would feel better about them coming tonight.

"Emmett, I have a girlfriend and she'll be joining us for dinner and well,-"

"What!? You have a girlfriend, like a real girlfriend or have you resorted to bringing your fuck buddies home, so mom will stop thinking you're gay, too?" I was pressing the volume button on the side of my phone as quickly and inconspicuously as I could because I didn't want Bella to hear this shit and as I was I could hear words like "chicken heads" and "skeezies" coming from Emmett.

"Yes, she's very much my real girlfriend." I looked over at Bella and she nodded her head and smiled at me which made me forget about the jerkface on the other line of the phone. "She's also pregnant and we wanted to tell you before you came so it wouldn't be a big surprise." Or you wouldn't act like a complete jackass which was what I was actually afraid of.

"Oh" was all he said and I didn't like the tone in which he said it. It was a drawn out 'that explains it' kind of 'oh' and I didn't care for that shit.

"No, not 'oh'. I love her and although the baby was a surprise, a big surprise, we're very happy about it." I was rubbing Bella's stomach and she was rubbing the back of my hand.

"Oh, well that's cool man. So, I get to meet this chick tonight?" I ignored the whole chick thing because it was pretty tame for the shit that Emmett usually said.

"Yes, but you already know her."

"Oh yeah? So, we went to school with her?"

"Yes,-"

"Fuck. It's not that one broad is it? The one with the-"

"No." I wasn't sure what he was going to say and honestly I didn't want to know, whatever it was the answer was no. "It's Bella Swan." All I heard was coughing, or rather choking, followed by cursing and Emmett telling Rose to take his drink the fuck away from him before he choked to death.

"Edward,-"

"I'll see you tonight, Emmett. Bye" And I hung up.

Whatever his response was going to be, I didn't want to hear it. I was sure that he would give me an ear full tonight and that was fine, as long as Bella was out of hearing distance then I didn't give a shit what lecture or whatever the fuck he had to say to me was.

"There Bella, that's all settled and everything's going to go just fine tonight." I patted her leg and she nodded her head, but it didn't really seem to effect her mood at all.

She had been quiet and distant for a couple of days now. She still smiled at me, curled her fingers in my hair, fell asleep against my chest, and told me she loved me, but I knew something was bothering her. I was convinced that it was the visit from Emmett and Rosalie, but now I wasn't so sure.

"Hey Bella, is everything ok?"

"Sure Edward." I saw her bite her lip slightly and I thought she was going to expand on that when the bedroom door flew open.

"Bella! It's already after 4 o'clock, what are you doing!?"

"Sorry Alice, I got caught up with this homework."

She scurried out of the room behind Alice after giving me a kiss and telling me she loved me. I could never grow tired of that.

Bella had told me earlier that Alice had planned to do her hair and makeup for dinner. Bella wasn't really into that shit, but Alice was and Bella was trying to go along with what Alice liked, I imagined, for the sake of their newly formed friendship. Ever since they had their little discussion they seemed to be like best friends which was good since Alice hadn't ever hung around a lot of girls, except Rose, and it didn't seem like Bella really had either.

Neither one of them had really told me what they talked about and I didn't want to ask, but I had known it went well when I walked into Alice's room and found both of them giggling and talking. Alice even had her hands on Bella's stomach and has recently taken to referring to herself as "Aunt Alice".

I piled all of Bella's school stuff on the desk and then changed my clothes from the dirty crap that I had wore to school (Alice's words) into something that was more appropriate for dinner (Alice's words again).

It didn't take me long to get ready, especially since Alice laid my clothes out for me, and I called Jasper to come over early so we could play video games or some shit.

He came right over and we took over the den to play the 'sniper with a big motherfucking gun' game, or at least that's how I referred to the game.

We both sat there in our appropriate dinner attire, both picked out by Alice, and shot a shit load of people until the girls walked in and then the game was long forgotten.

Bella was wearing a black dress that clung nicely to her curves and the small bump of her stomach. The front of her hair was pulled back, but the rest cascading down her arms in big curls. She had on just a slight amount of makeup, but she didn't need makeup to look beautiful.

I went to her instantly and took her hand in mine, kissing it softly. "You look gorgeous, Bella."

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself you know." She said with a smirk.

She jumped a little when she heard the front door slam shut, but I ran my thumb over the back of her hand that I was still holding to let her know that everything would be fine.

"There you guys are!" Emmett called from the doorway as he walked in with Rosalie following behind him.

"Shit, bro you weren't kidding she sure is pregnant!"

"Thank you for your expert diagnosis Dr. Emmett." Bella said in her sassiest voice, one that I don't think even I've heard before. She had her hand on her hip and her eyebrows raised as she was glaring at Emmett. Oh yeah, she could definitely hold her own with him; I knew I loved this girl.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just didn't think you were that far along when Edward told me today." He had a remorseful look on his face and she held her arms out to him with a big smile on her face. He reached out for her instantly with a big, goofy grin on his face.

"It's ok Emmett." She said to him.

Alice and Rose were off to the corner chatting, but they were keeping a close eye on the situation. Rose was good at keeping Emmett in line, but it seemed Bella had it under control.

Jasper and I just stood there staring, not even pretending to be doing something else.

"Well, I guess I'll have to wait before I can pick you up and twirl you around again." Emmett said with a little huff.

"Yes, unfortunately you can no longer throw me over your shoulder and run around and I'm not sure you're going to regain that privilege even after the baby is born, but at least you'll have a nephew that will, eventually, enjoy being tossed around and put on your shoulders." She was smiling at him, but it was obvious that she was being completely serious.

"I can't believe I'm gonna be an uncle!" He shouted and the next thing I knew _I_ was over his shoulder and being spun around in circles.

"Put me the fuck down you crazy asshole!" He didn't though, he just kept spinning around and around.

"I'm gonna be an uncle and you're gonna be dad! I just can't fucking believe it!" I couldn't really believe it either, not when I heard it out loud like that. It's funny how being upside down, spinning around, and being nauseous as fuck about two inches away from somebody's ass can put things into perspective.

"Emmett! Put him down before you break something!" Esme said as she entered the room. She didn't shout, but her voice was firm and he put me down instantly.

"Yeah, who gives a fuck about my neck or whether or not I puke all over the damn place, the top concern is obviously the fucking coffee table." I was stumbling around while I fixed my jacket and tried to smooth out my hair which wasn't happening because I was mostly pulling at it instead.

When I looked up I saw everyone trying very hard not too laugh and I just frowned, silent for the moment, because I thought I had yelled and cussed enough, well for time being anyway.

Bella's hands pushed mine out of my hair and hers actually were smoothing down my hair. She leaned close to me and started whispering reassuring things in my ear. I smiled at her and took her hand from my hair and held it. She moved to my side to stand next to me and that's when I saw everyone behind her that had been staring at us.

"What? Are we going to eat dinner or is everyone just going to stare at us all night?" They began to file out of the room and I turned to Bella and gave her a triumphant look because I hadn't used one foul word that time and I knew she didn't like that shit when I did, especially when my father and Esme were around. She gave me an approving nod and we followed everyone out.

We walked to the dining room, still hand in hand, and I was whispering in Bella's ear how beautiful she looked and how I had never seen another woman as beautiful as her. By the time we sat down her cheeks were a very lovely shade of pink.

We ate while mostly Emmett and Rose talked about the end of their first year in college. It was common for them to do most of the talking when they came home to visit and currently Esme was asking them about their classes.

I noticed that Bella was intently listening and would glance up at whomever was talking in between bites. She seemed comfortable here - in this situation, in this house, next to me. It made me smile which was the constant effect she had on me.

Bella was helping Esme serve dessert when Alice spoke up. "So, we're all heading up to Port Angeles to catch the late showing of that new Tom Cruise movie. Do you guys want to come?" She asked us and I froze as I watched Bella stop in the middle of lifting a slice of pie up on the server and just hold it there while her hand shook.

Emmett wasn't sure what to make of it. He leaned his dish forward and back a few times and looked up at her expectantly waiting for her to serve it, but she never looked at him. Finally, he just tipped her hand a little and let the slice fall on his plate and that seemed to snap her out of it.

"Oh, sorry Alice. I think I'm going to have to pass this time. I just know I'll fall asleep in the theatre." She patted her stomach while she said it because she was fucking smart and knew that no one would force her to go out if she said she was too tired.

"Oh, we could probably catch an earlier show if we go right now. I just want us to all do something together." She was pouting a little not because she was trying to get her way, which she was, but because she truly just wanted us to all be together. Alice missed having all of us around now that Emmett and Rose were off to college and whenever things were done as couples I always bailed because I had never dated before, before now, so Alice saw it as a great chance to have some awesome triple date kind of bullshit.

"Why don't we go to the mall tomorrow and then all of us girls can hang out and catch up." It never ceased to amaze me how fucking smart Bella was. If there was one thing that could get Alice it was shopping and I knew she had her.

"Really!? That would be so much fun!" Alice was no longer concerned about us going to the movie and instead she spent the rest of dessert planning our shopping trip.

I didn't think us guys really needed to go, but Bella insisted saying that she was sure that there was something we could do while the girls were shopping. Her exact words were "you guys can go to the arcade, pig out at the food court, or do whatever the hell it is that guys do." At that point, I agreed with her completely knowing why she had made such a sacrifice just to get out of going to the fucking movies and I knew she meant business. No one else noticed her mild profanity, which wasn't much of a profanity at all, because they were used to my mouth that rivaled that of Andrew Dice Clay, but I knew that Bella would never use such language in front of my parents, and at the dinner table no less, if she wasn't upset.

Bella insisted on helping Esme clear the table after everyone had finished dessert while Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rose were getting ready to leave for the cinema. I walked out with them and Alice, who was as hyper as ever, was bouncing next to Jasper and talking about how excited she was about tomorrow. He whisked her into the back of Emmett's jeep and Rose gave me a quick hug and smile before she joined them. That just left Emmett and I standing in the driveway.

"You and Bella seem really happy together."

"We are." I replied simply.

"So, are you getting ready to take her home? I figured she had to be home at a certain time and that's why she didn't want to go to the movies." Yeah, I wish that was the reason.

"No, she actually lives here now."

"What!? I can't believe Dad let your pregnant girlfriend move in!"

"She didn't have anywhere else to go." I stated it like a fact because it was, but I still couldn't hide the sadness in my voice.

"Oh" was all he said and he looked down for a moment because that shit was sad. "But that's not why-" I couldn't stand to let him finish that sentence because I had fucking had it with people thinking I was only with Bella because she was pregnant. Even though it was really just Bella who had thought that, out loud anyway, but her opinion was the most important and I couldn't stand that anyone would think that.

"No, that's not fucking why and if you say anything like that in front of Bella I will punch you in the fucking face. I love her and for some fucked up reason, that has nothing to do with her being pregnant, she loves me too, so just drop it!"

He just stood there for a moment staring at me until Rose stuck her head out of the window and yelled at him.

"If you don't come on right now I'm going to get in the driver's seat and-".

That's all it took for Emmett to say "later dude" and take off running.

I went back into the house to find Bella helping Esme load the dishwasher. In fact I had never even opened the dishwasher before in my entire life, I wasn't even sure _how_ to open the motherfucker since the handle seemed to be hidden somewhere, but I wasn't going to admit that to Bella.

When she was finished with helping and talking with Esme she went upstairs with me, but was still quiet and distant which was how she'd been for the past few days and I was hoping with this dinner behind us that we could get back to where we were, but then the whole movie thing fucked that up, or more so _I_ had fucked that up.

We had a nice routine about most things and bedtime was no different. She changed her clothes first and then opened the door when she was done and would start brushing her teeth. I would go in with my pajamas and brush my teeth next to her. It was like synchronized swimming or some shit the way we spit toothpaste and rinsed our brushes, never saying a word, but never getting in each other's way or spitting on each other either.

When she was done she left the bathroom and closed the door, so I could change. We had seen each other naked, obviously, but it was what Bella seemed comfortable with. When I left the bathroom in my flannel pants and t-shirt she was sitting on the bed using my cell phone and talking in a quiet voice. This was also a part of the routine. She would call Jacob or Emily and check in and talk to them briefly before we went to sleep.

"No, I don't think that's what I should do at all, Jake." She said in a harsh whisper before she hung up on him. I was sure that she did just hang up on him because I heard no "goodbye".

"Is everything ok?" I asked her as I rubbed my hand over her back.

"No" She sniffled, but she didn't look up.

"Does this have anything to do with tonight?" I wasn't sure if she told Jake about why she was upset and he suggested that she move back to Emily's. The very thought made me nervous; I couldn't imagine not seeing her everyday.

"No"

"Is this what has had you upset the past few days?"

"Yes. It has to do with my dad." I had been so wrong, nothing new there.

She didn't say anything else. She just rolled over and got under the blankets. I knew she would talk about it when she was ready, so I turned off the lights and got into the bed behind her. She was already asleep as I took my spot behind her and wrapped my arms around her. She didn't turn around, but I heard a content sigh as her hand found my arm and I quickly drifted off to sleep with her.

I awoke to a beeping and I swatted at my nightstand, effectively knocking down the alarm clock which apparently wasn't even going off.

"Hello" I heard Bella's hoarse voice say.

There was no further response when Bella removed the phone from her ear to look at the screen and then held it out towards me. She must've fallen asleep with my phone in her hand.

I looked at her inquisitively as I took the phone. "_Saggy Tits _is calling you" she said, carefully annunciating each word to ensure that it sounded as ridiculous as possible because it really was.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Who just answered your phone and what in the hell did she call me? And Eddie don't tell me it was Alice either because I know it wasn't." God, her voice was annoying.

"Shit, I was sleeping, so no it wasn't Alice. It was my girlfriend who was also sleeping so when I hang the fuck up on you, which I will, don't fucking call back."

I did hang up and I didn't even hear a response from her before I did. I turned the phone off and let it fall to the floor. I took Bella back in my arms and nestled against her, getting comfortable to go back to sleep.

"Why did you say 'girlfriend'?"

"Well, because I was under the impression that you were. It's the same thing I said to Emmett. Are you not my girlfriend or am I not supposed to tell people you are?"

"But that's just it. You didn't tell her _I_ was your girlfriend."

"Fuck, Bella. I was half asleep. If you want me to call her back and tell her that Bella Swan is my girlfriend and in my bed I will."

"No, it's just that…well, no one knows."

"What do you mean no one knows. People know."

"My parents don't know. Angela, who I've been avoiding, doesn't know. I'm glad I don't have to go to school because I don't even know what I would say. I don't even know what to say to Angela."

"People know your pregnant." I said pointedly.

"Well, sure they do I worked at practically the only grocery store and restaurant in Forks for about a week. I'm not surprised. What they don't know is that you're the dad." There was that word again and I was glad that Bella couldn't see the panic that just flashed across my face when I thought about all the responsibility and everything that that word entails.

"Not even Charlie." I said and it wasn't a question.

"No, although he has been asking Jake and his dad a lot of questions."

"And?"

"Jake won't say anything well, except that he's not the father. I know Charlie has had his doubts about that the whole time and then what I said in Florida didn't help that, but of course Charlie had never seen me with any other guy either."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to talk to Charlie or even Renee for that matter, but especially him. He abandoned me when I needed him and he said some pretty hurtful shit that I just can't forgive him for yet." I nodded thinking that I wasn't much better.

She had turned around and was looking up at me, so I knew she saw the guilt that was in my expression. I mumbled something about if I lived a hundred thousand years I would never forgive myself which was something I had told her before and just like the first time she put her finger on my lips and shushed me.

We laid there, but didn't fall back to sleep, so after awhile we went down to have breakfast with the family. Esme had made French toast and scrambled eggs. Bella took a plate full of eggs, but no French toast and when I asked her about it she mumbled something about being sick of stupid French toast. At least she ate all the eggs which went along with my mission to fill Bella with protein…wait that didn't sound right, never mind.

Alice and Rose kidnapped Bella right after breakfast to get ready for their shopping trip. I knew Bella really wanted to get along with Alice, but I didn't know how much more of her makeovers she could handle. At least I put a curb on Alice ordering shit for Bella, well I think I did anyway.

Bella came down with the other girls who were laughing and talking, but Bella looked deep in thought.

"Hey Love, you look beautiful."

"I think Alice is having entirely too much fun dressing me. I'm like her pregnant Barbie doll." She gave a smirk to Alice who shrugged innocently.

Bella did look beautiful, as usual. Her hair was curled again, but pulled back in a ponytail so the smooth skin of her neck was exposed, making me want to kiss and bite it.

Alice was complaining about the guys and girls taking separate cars, she obviously didn't trust us to endure her all day shopping excursion.

"Alice, you don't have to worry. Edward will drive them in his car. I know he won't leave _us_ there by _ourselves_." Bella smiled at me because she knew it was the truth as did Alice who instantly agreed much to the chagrin of Emmett and Jasper who absolutely would abandon their girlfriends at the mall to get home in time to watch the game.

**BPOV**

What had I done? I should've just went to the stupid movies because now here I stood, right inside the entrance of hell or rather the Northgate Mall. I didn't want to drive all the way to Seattle and I doubt Emmett or Rose did either because they freaking live here, not at the mall, but here in Seattle. Despite our arguments, Alice said that since the teachers at school thought I was on bedrest this was the best mall to go to and no one ever argued with Alice's reasoning. After having to stop at a gas station three times so that I could pee we had finally gotten here.

Edward had his arm wrapped around me and he would occasionally whisper things in my ear. I didn't really want him to leave, but I knew that he wanted to hang out with his brother and Jasper.

"Here's my phone, if Alice gets out of control just call Gaysper or Gaymett."

"How clever of you." I said rolling my eyes at him and he just shrugged obviously not disputing how childish it was.

I stood there looking down at his phone as he kissed my forehead and went to walk away.

"Edward?" my voice cracked when I called out.

"Yeah"

"Wh-what's my name under?" He looked down and so did I.

"You wouldn't give me your number and I saved the number from the phonebook as 'Bella's House'."

"Oh" was all I said because I was wondering about how different things would've been if I would've just given him my number that day in class when he asked me for it or if I had just went on a date with him…

"Bella, I don't care if you check. I'll see you soon." I stopped him so I could kiss him before he walked away and then he turned to Alice.

"Don't take all fucking day, Alice, she doesn't need to over do it by walking around the fucking mall all day."

She pretty much ignored him and we walked away. I followed behind them as I continued to stare down at the phone.

"What are you doing, Bella?""Um, he said I could check it, but I don't know if I should."

"Check it for what?"

"To see if he put my name in here as 'Bella' or something mean like he does with everyone else."

"Oh, well if he said he put your name in as Bella then I'm sure he did. I'm just Alice in his phone. Well, I was 'Pain in the Alice' for awhile, but he changed it."

"I wonder what he would do if I deleted a number." I said thinking aloud.

"Whose?"

"Saggy Tits" I said in a hostile tone.

"Tanya?" They both said in unison and I began laughing hysterically because I hadn't realized how saggy her tits actually were, but then again I hadn't seen her naked either and that thought abruptly ended my laughter.

"Why would you delete that number?"

"Because she called this morning and it pissed me off. She woke us up and it just sucked."

"Well, deleting it isn't going to stop her calls. The only reason why he keeps those numbers in his phone is so he knows who it is when they call and he can ignore it."

I nodded because I trusted Edward and I wasn't going to check his phone or delete anything from it. I wasn't even going to call 'Saggy Tits McGee' and tell the whore to lose Edward's number even though I struggled with my self control the most with that last one.

We went to every clothing store in the mall, but I mostly just sat there while Alice and Rose tried stuff on.

It had been a few hours when the phone rang and we all thought it was Edward calling to check up on me and I answered it quickly as I was desperate to hear his voice.

"Hello" I said with a involuntary smile on my face.

"What the fuck? Doesn't Edward answer his own phone anymore or are you his fucking secretary?"

"Listen Bitch. I'm not his secretary. I'm his girlfriend which is exactly what he told your dumbass when you called this morning and woke us up.

"Edward never has girlfriends."

"Yeah, and he still doesn't have girlfriends." I replied accentuating the 's' sound. "It's singular, one girlfriend, me." I heard a huff from Saggy and Alice and Rose were laughing hysterically in front of me.

"Who's laughing in the background?" I didn't respond because quite frankly I didn't think it was any of her damn business. "Is that Alice!? It is isn't it? Wait, who is this?" I sighed before I continued, but this is what I wanted right?

"It is Alice in the background. Well, Alice and Rosalie and we really do need to get on with our shopping, I'm afraid you've wasted enough of our time." I hung up without saying my name.

I just didn't think it would be fair to Edward if it came out like this. Edward had to go back to school on Monday and deal with all these people and I didn't, thankfully.

"I know why she called." Alice said in a sing song voice.

"Why?" I asked hesitantly, but still curious.

"Because Edward is finally himself again. Well, better than himself actually because he was disagreeable even before, before you were gone, but after…" She trailed off and I could hear her voice shake a little when she started to talk about it and her eyes drifted before she regained her thought. "And now he's just in a perpetually happy mood." She patted me on the back because she considered me the reason for that and I suppose I was.

"How bad was it…when I was gone?" I pretty much whispered it like it was a dark secret because that's how it felt. I knew how bad it was for me, but I never imagined that it was the same for Edward.

"Horrible" She shook her head as if she was trying to shake free the memories of it and maybe she was, so I never asked her to elaborate.

The phone rang five more times and each time I checked it before answering and when I saw it was Tanya I just pushed 'ignore'. Finally, on the fifth time she called Rose snatched the phone out of my hand and after pushing a few buttons declared that Tanya's number was blocked.

Alice texted jasper to let him know, or rather to let Edward know, that we were going to eat lunch. We talked a lot about college with Rose who seemed happy to regale us with tales of parties, pranks, and other dormitory shenanigans. She even got serious and told us about the classes she had taken so far and different speakers and exhibits that she had attended at the college. She had heard world renowned authors and artists speak of their works.

Alice and I sat there, wide eyed, listening to her as we ate. It was an experience that I would never let Edward give up, especially having been already accepted into an Ivy League school, but I was glad that Carlisle wouldn't let me give it up for myself either.

Alice then dragged me, literally, into a baby store as she oohed and ahed over all the cute little outfits and stuff. Even Rosalie was holding up little outfits that had matching everything to go with them. They really were adorable…and very expensive.

"We'll have to get stuff for the baby when the nursery is done." Alice declared and then she left the store. I put down a tiny little suit I was holding and followed her. I thought it would be much harder to get her out of there, but was glad that she left so easily. "Esme is so excited to get started." She said in a happy tone as she continued to talk about the nursery and I think she was excited about it, too.

"I just hate for her to have to do all that work when we'll be moving out in the fall."

"Bella, it's not work for Esme. She loves doing that type of thing and she wants to do it for you and Edward, and especially for the baby." I knew how heartbroken she was over the loss of her son, so I wouldn't deny her any happiness with her grandson and I did fully consider him to be her grandson.

"Of course, but nothing too fancy." I said, futilely I know.

"Esme wants to get paint next week, but you really need to pick a theme first."

"A theme?"

"Yes, a theme, a distinct, recurring, and unifying idea."

"Alice, I know what a theme is. I just don't know one for a nursery."

"Oh, well I'll get you a book or something that you and Edward can look at." I nodded in agreement because there would be no use in arguing. "Or you could let me pick something?" She said it like a question because she wasn't sure if I would want her to or not.

"Yeah, Alice I think you should because you're way better at that kind of stuff than I am." I said honestly. I kind of wanted to help, but I would let her choose because I knew it would turn out great and I was so happy that she wanted to be involved with the baby.

"I need to sit down." I said as I took a seat on a bench in the middle of the mall. Alice, who would literally shop until she dropped, of course didn't want to stop but did only because I needed to.

"Look, it's the boys!" I said as we saw the three of them walk out of a guy's clothing store.

"Edward!" I used every last bit of my energy to jump up and run to him.

He quickly caught me in his arms and held me tight. It was like we had been separated for a lot longer than a few hours, but I hated to be away from him.

"We were just getting ready to get some ice cream perhaps you ladies would like to join us."

"We just ate Edward and we have three more stores to go to." Alice said and I'm sure three meant something closer to eight.

"Speak for yourself. I never turn down ice cream." I winked at Edward and he held me close to his side.

"We didn't even get to go to the lingerie store." Alice whined. My worst nightmare come to life. I wanted nothing to do with tiny, lacy undergarments especially after my three month long love affair with ice cream.

"I'm sure these gentlemen would love to assist you in picking out little, see through…" that's all I had to say before they were at their sides.

"Fuck yeah, I love the underwear store!" Emmett said, a little too loud for the middle of the mall, and we all chuckled.

They went one way and we went the other towards the food court to get ice cream.

"You know my one weakness, it's so unfair." I teased him.

"You only have one?" He whispered against my neck as he placed soft kisses all the way up to my ear.

"I suppose not." I said quietly.

"Me either" he whispered in my ear.

I playfully slapped my hand on his chest and began to scold him when we stopped dead in our tracks.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Ang. You know Edward." I used my hand that I was just hitting him with to present him as if I were Vanna White and he were the mystery phrase. This was beyond awkward.

"I do." She said and I could see the confusion on her face.

"You should come over sometime, so we can catch up." I offered, sounding lame.

"Yeah, so you're back at your dad's? Because last I heard you were staying in La Push with…" She trailed off, but I was sure what she heard.

"I'm staying at Edward's house, but you really should come over sometime."

"Yes, you're welcome any time." Edward said very politely and with a gorgeous smile. He could be very deferential when he wanted to be, you know when he wasn't being the complete opposite.

Angela wrote down Edward's phone number and took off to meet her mom somewhere.

We got to the ice cream place and ordered a very large brownie sundae that we shared. We sat at a small table with the sundae in the middle and at one point I attacked his spoon with mine and when I was winning he put whipped cream on my nose. We were almost done and eating the waffle bowl it came in when the others approached us laughing loudly, Emmett of course the loudest.

He walked up to the table and dropped a box right in front of me. It was wrapped in light pink paper and had an opalescent ribbon around it.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Amelia Earhart. He found her." Edward answered seriously as he took a big bite of the waffle bowl. I smirked at him because he was returning the sarcasm I had used against him so many times and surprisingly I liked it.

"Duh, it's a box, a present. I get it. I just don't know why." I said while rolling my eyes at Edward.

"Just open it!" Emmett whined impatiently.

I looked up at Rose and gave her a quizzical look, but she just shrugged her shoulders.

"He bought it and had it wrapped before I could even get a look at it." She replied and I knew that didn't sound good.

I sighed and began to open it because it wasn't ticking or anything. Well, that I could tell anyway. I removed the ribbon, tore the paper carefully, and then slowly removed the lid of the box. Under the tissue paper lied a pink shirt. I pulled it out and it unfolded revealing a picture of a dinosaur and the words "Pregasaurus Rex". I turned it around and showed everyone. Edward frowned and gave Emmett a dirty look before looking at me apologetically.

"Emmett you should take it back." Edward said sternly.

"No, I like it." I said honestly although I'm not sure why I did.

***

When we got back we went up to Edward's room and I was hanging up the Pegasaurus Rex shirt when my eyes drifted over towards the weight bench as if I had caught it staring at me. I got tingles just looking at it and I quickly walked out of the closet to see Edward standing nervously by the bed.

"Bella I have something for you, but I don't want you to freak out or anything." I could see that his hands were behind his back and between him and the rest of his family I was starting to feel really bad about all the stuff they were giving me. I mean they were already giving me a place to live. "It's not a stupid shirt or anything." He grumbled as he took a step closer.

I held out my hands in front of me. "Do you want me to close my eyes?" I asked feigning seriousness.

"No, here." He said as he laid a small box in my hands and I frowned at him.

"Really, a phone, Edward? This is too expensive."

"Yeah, well in case of an emergency you should have it."

"That's true." I unwillingly conceded and then I frowned when I thought of something.

"What's wrong? If you don't like that kind we can get a different one." He said quickly.

"No, it's not that. It's a very nice phone. I was just thinking how I don't even know your phone number." I was back to wishing we had just exchanged numbers months ago like he had wanted to, but I suppose regret wasn't going to help anything.

"I programmed it in there already."

"Yeah? Did you give yourself a smart name like 'Baby Daddy' or something?" I was purposely teasing him, but he didn't look very amused.

He wrapped his arms around me so fast I yelped out of shock. I had dropped the box with the phone in it on the floor, but just as quickly as he grabbed me, he spun me around and had laid me back onto the bed and was playfully growling in my ear.

"What did I tell you about that, Bella?" I smiled because I liked forceful Edward. It's not like he was being rough, but he was definitely in control.

"You said nothing." I said defiantly. He made a face at me and then lightly bit my neck.

"Yes. I. Did."

"No, you said not to use 'Baby Momma" and I didn't".

"You just did." He growled at me and then kissed me hard and passionately.

We were interrupted by a knock on the door and I never in my life wanted to scream at someone as bad as I did at that moment.

The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out with Edward's family. Alice seemed to like all of us hanging out together since she was continuously coming up with things that we could all do together. We watched movies and played board games or we would just sit around and talk. I had never seen Alice so happy, aside from when she was doing my hair and makeup, and I suppose if I were being honest I had never been this happy either or felt like I belonged somewhere like I did now.

***

**EPOV**

Monday morning and Bella was driving me to school. I was trying really hard not to make her nervous, but I was fucking nervous. Not because she wasn't a good driver because she was cautious as hell, but because I had no fucking control and it was my new goddamn car.

I raked my hands through my hair a few times and stared out the window. I did not remember the school being this fucking far from my house.

"We can go back. I don't have to have your car today." She said in a soothing voice.

"What are you talking about, Bella? I'm not worried." I lied, but she had asked me to use the car and Bella never asked for anything, with the occasional exception of frozen novelties, so there was no fucking way that I would go back and not let her borrow my car.

She nodded her head and kept driving. I knew she didn't believe me.

"Call me if anything's wrong. Anything." I said while taking my phone out and putting it on silent.

I looked at my phone for a moment and wondered if Bella had ever gone through it. I didn't think she did because she wasn't like that, but I changed all of the more 'descriptive' names just to be on the safe side. Fishy McFisherson is now Lauren Mallory and The Blackhole is now Jessica Stanley and of course Chesty Chels is just Chelsea Hansen now. Bella told me that Saggy Tits McGee is now blocked, thank you Rose, but just the same I changed it to Tanya McGee. McGee wasn't even her real last name, but I couldn't remember what it was, so whatever. There were others too, a lot of other chicks, but most of them, like fishy and loosey goosey, were just broads from school that would hit on me all the damn time. I guess Mike wasn't as bright as me because once someone got a nickname like Big Tuna I wasn't about to investigate that shit for myself, but he on the other hand didn't seem to care.

She pulled up by the front door of the building I had to go in and I leaned over to give her a kiss. She tensed a little because there were people all over the damn place, but she relaxed and forgot all about those fuckers when I slid my tongue in her mouth.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Edward."

She gave me a big smile and I had to admit she looked hot behind the wheel of my kick ass car.

"Call me if you need anything and I'll call you at lunch."

"Ok, bye."

I finally shut the door even though I really didn't want to leave her. She gave me a small wave and I waved back. I stood there for a minute watching her drive out of the parking lot. Most of the people that were milling around had made their way to class, so I was surprised when I heard a voice.

"W-was that _Bella_?"

"Yes, Chelsea it was." I said without feeling because I really didn't like talking to her.

"You let her drive your car." It was just a statement and she made with a really hurt sounding voice.

I wouldn't ever let Chelsea drive my car. She had begged and begged as preparation for her driving test. She had asked if we could go out in the country, past La Push, and drive around. We did occasionally drive out towards that way when I wanted road head, but I never let her as much as sit in my seat.

At that moment I kind of felt bad for Chelsea, I had never meant to use her, not really anyway, but there were a lot of things that I've done, mostly bad, that I didn't mean to.

"I'm sorry Chelsea."

"You said you never let anyone drive your car." Her voice was still small and hurt sounding.

"I don't. I mean I didn't. Bella's different." I sighed remembering all the times I had called Chelsea 'Bella' when I was drunk. "Bella's just _that_ girl for me and you're _that_ girl for someone too and I hope you find him because you really do deserve that." She smiled at me and for once I didn't see all the things that made her not Bella, I just saw Chelsea (but for the record her blush is still ugly).

"Thanks, Edward. That really does mean a lot to me and I'm sorry too." She looked down and I wasn't really sure what she was sorry about, but she continued. "I told the principal that I thought Bella had an eating disorder. I'm the reason why she got sent away." What the…

"Chelsea, what the fuck are you talking about?!"

"I'm sorry, but I thought if she went and got help, which I really did think she needed, that you wouldn't always be thinking about her and stuff. I guess I didn't think it would really happen and I didn't think it would affect you like…like it did."

"So you are the one that started that rumor?"

"No. I mean I guess so, but I really didn't think it was a rumor at the time. The principal called Chief Swan and then she was gone. From what I heard around school she got sent to her mom's to get better at a clinic."

"And now you know that that wasn't the case?"

"I know she's pregnant if that's what you're asking. About two weeks ago she applied for a job at the grocery store and my dad mentioned it. He said he wasn't going to hire some knocked up, teen, but I talked him into it."

"I don't even know what to fucking say to you, Chelsea." I was trying to keep my voice down, but I was pissed and it was the truth I really didn't know what the fuck to say to that.

"You don't have to say anything. I made a mistake and I apologize for it. I know now that there's something special between you and Bella, I didn't get that before, but now I do." She said it almost nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders before she turned to walk away, but I grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

She turned back around and looked at me, but she didn't really look surprised and I let my hand fall from her shoulder.

"Thanks Chels." She hadn't even questioned my motives for being with Bella and for that alone I was thankful. "I accept your apology and like I said I'm sorry too."

She wrapped her arms around me and it felt beyond wrong to have her in my arms, but I patted her back a couple of times and then she walked away. My love affair with vodka, and several of his friends, had afforded me the luxury of very few memories of that time, but I'm sure holding Chelsea like that had always felt just as wrong. Of course this time it was just a gesture of forgiveness and wasn't meant as anything romantic.

I was sitting in class when I got a text from Alice. I had looked instantly when my phone buzzed. I held it under the desk and read it quickly thinking it was from Bella.

"_WTF dude! Saw u w/chesty ~A"_

"_Fuck off ~ E"_

I knew I would need to deal with this proactively with Bella since I was afraid that it would get back to her somehow. I was contemplating just calling her and telling her when the bell rang for lunch.

I was walking down the hall with my phone in my hand not wanting to wait until I got somewhere quiet to call Bella, but then it started vibrating.

"Hello"

"Edward, come out to the parking lot, please." She sobbed.

"On my way." I hung up and started running to the door.

I could see my car as soon as I stepped outside. I abandoned the sidewalk and ran right through the soggy grass and jerked the car door open so fast I probably came close to braking it, but I didn't give a fuck as I hurled myself into the car.

"Bella, what's wrong!?"

She crashed into me and just collapsed in my arms as she sobbed.

"I tried. I really tried." She said with tears running down her face. I fucking hated to see her like this.

"What happened?"

"I went to Charlie's." She sobbed.

**A/N -**

**Dun Dun Dun…Sorry for the cliffy, but I'll update quickly :)**

**Links to outfit pics on my profile. All the credit for Pregasaurus shirt goes to Lulu.**

**Andrew Dice Clay - Comedian from New York that was extremely popular, and controversial, in the early 90's**

**Dishwasher - I joke with my husband that the dishwasher company must've done a good job hiding the handle since he never loads the motherfucker**

**Vanna White - Co-host since the early 80's of the game show "Wheel of Fortune"**

**Things have come full circle with Chelsea, so we can now be done with her.**

**Please review and I will send you a sneak peek. If you don't want one just let me know in your review. Yes, I'm back to bribery, lol.**

**Reviews are better than brownie sundaes with Edward…yeah not really, but it's a good combo.**


	15. Chapter 15 The Disownment

**Disclaimer: Edward = not mine. Betward = all mine.**

**A/N - **

**I love all the readers of this story and I do try to reply to everyone, especially when I'm bribing them, but yesterday ffn decided that it would no longer send me alerts, which is how I reply, so I'm very sorry if you didn't hear back from me. Hopefully, this will be fixed soon.**

**In this chapter we are getting a big fucking glimpse into what Bella went through before. It wasn't really planned, it was something I more planned for the sequel, but there will be much more of this in the sequel. It's emotional so you've been warned.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 15**

**The Disownment**

**BPOV - Monday Morning**

I hated to leave Edward, hated being away from him, but to actually drive away from him knowing where I was going was the worst.

I almost told him we should just skip school together, even though it was really just him skipping, because I knew he would do it and I guess that's why I didn't ask.

When I asked to borrow his car I had hoped he would tell me no, but of course he didn't. He didn't even really ask me why I wanted to borrow it, so I didn't tell him. I figured that he just assumed that I wanted to go to Emily's or something, so he never asked and I never told him. Maybe if I had he would've talked me out of it, but I doubted that. I knew he would just want to go with me and although that sounded good, I knew this was something I needed to do alone.

It had started with me alone and it would end with me alone. Well, hopefully it would end with some sort of forgiveness.

So, now here I am driving to Charlie's house, what used to be my house, my shaking hands gripping the steering wheel tightly the whole way.

Images from that day in early January flooded my head.

_I walked in the door and I was shaking. My face was tear- stained, red, and splotchy. I'm sure my eyes didn't look much better because they stung and felt swollen. _

_I tried to be quiet, but the light flipped on and my father stood in front of me. I didn't take my coat off like I was going to because I was afraid he would notice my stomach._

"_Bella, what's going on?"_

"_Nothing. I just don't feel well."_

"_Are you sick?" He asked almost mockingly._

"_I don't know. I just don't feel good, so I'm going to go to bed." I didn't want to have this conversation with him because I was upset and more importantly I was hoping that my next conversation with Edward would go better. I was counting on it because I didn't want to do this alone. I'm not sure what exactly I meant by 'this', but I guess I meant all of it. I didn't want to tell Charlie alone, I didn't want to go through the pregnancy alone, I didn't want to raise the baby alone. I didn't want to do any of it alone; I didn't want to do any of it without Edward._

"_Bella, I got an interesting telephone call from the school today."_

"_Oh" was all I could say._

"_Please take off your coat." Shit. I didn't want to do this, but he really wasn't asking so I started taking it off. I had on a short sleeved shirt and I wasn't sure how noticeable it was, but if he already knew then I guess it really didn't matter. I took of the coat and dropped it to the floor._

"_What is going on with you, Bella?" He grabbed my bony arm and held it up._

"_Nothing. Everything's fine." I had always been a horrible liar and nothing had changed._

"_Why wouldn't you just talk to me? Are you really that unhappy here?"_

"_No, Dad. I'm not unhappy here." I said it weakly, but it was the truth._

"_Then why? Why are you doing this to yourself!? You weigh what a hundred pounds!?"_

_I actually weighed a hundred and ten, but I think it was more of a rhetorical question and at that moment I remembered what Edward had said "you're so skinny everyone thinks your bulimic". _

"_Dad, I'm fine. I'll gain weight." I tried to sound convincing because oh boy was I going to gain weight, but not necessarily how he was hoping._

"_I already have your plane ticket to go back to your mom's. They have a great clinic in Jacksonville that handles eating disorders."_

"_I don't have an eating disorder and I don't want to leave." I said frantically._

"_Bella, denial is not going to help you. You need to get well and then you can come back or at least visit."_

"_I'm not leaving!" I wailed._

_The conversation didn't get much better after that. I cried and cried that I wasn't bulimic or anorexic, but he wouldn't listen._

"_Fine, dad. The truth is I'm pregnant. I wanted to wait a little while longer to tell you, but please I don't have an eating disorder." I was still crying and I felt like this is what I had been doing all day because it practically was and I was exhausted._

"_What!"_

"_Dad, I'm sorry! I'm sorry." I kept mumbling though the tears that I was sorry, but he only looked to get angrier by the second._

"_Who, Bella." He growled at me and I just stared up at him blankly. "Who!" He screamed at me, demanding not asking._

_His eyes were bulging and I could see his fists clenched at his side. My eyes were fixated on the vein on his forehead that was pulsating, my breathing was uneasy, and everything felt surreal. I was utterly unprepared for this._

"_I…I don't know." I stammered. The look on his face was the most horrible look I've ever seen and I will never for the rest of my life forget it._

"_That's not true, Bella. You're not like that." It sounded like he was trying to convince himself, but he was right, well mostly._

"_I'm sorry, Dad." I started chanting again and I cried even more._

"_You were raped weren't you." He said solemnly and it really wasn't a question. His look hadn't changed that much, he still had a look of utter disgust on his face although now it wasn't directed towards me. I didn't want that look to be returned to me, but I couldn't let him think that happened when in fact it hadn't._

"_No, I wasn't." I protested as I shook my head._

"_Bella, why wouldn't you tell me? I'm the police chief for crying out loud! This wasn't your fault and we'll…"_

"_Dad, I wasn't raped. I was at a party and I just don't remember….the guy's name." I cringed as the words came out because they weren't true, but the actual truth wasn't much better, so I decided to protect Edward._

"_Fine, whatever you say. Tomorrow morning we'll go to Seattle and get this taken care of."_

"_No! Are you insane? I can't do that!" I was screaming and shouting and I couldn't' understand why everyone was being like this to me. I knew it wasn't great news, but I really didn't think Edward and Charlie would react this badly._

_I was still yelling about not killing a baby, my baby, when my dad started his own yelling._

"_Bella, you can do whatever you want, but not here. I won't have you living here if that's your choice."_

"_If what's my choice? The baby? If I choose the innocent baby then I can't live here? You don't mean that, Dad! You're just angry and -"_

"_I sure as hell do mean it. If you want to be a whore and have a baby at eighteen then you can do it at your mother's!"_

"_You and mom weren't much older when you had me!"_

"_Yeah, but we were married and she at least knew my fucking name!"_

"_Dad, you can't do this!"_

"_You have 15 minutes to pack your bag and then I'm taking you to the airport." He wasn't shouting anymore, his voice was stern and cold._

"_No, you can't make me go." I said stubbornly. _

"_You made your choice. You made your choice when you were whoring around and you've made your choice now. I'm not going to be the laughing stock of the town because you can't keep your legs closed!"_

"_Oh, so this is about you? You know what, I don't fucking care then. I'll leave happily to be away from you!" Apparently no one cared if I stayed here or not anyway._

I hadn't spoken to Charlie since that night…until now.

I pulled into the driveway and stared at the whole scene in front of me. The police cruiser, the house, the oil stain from my former truck. It was something that I had seen a hundred times, but this was different. I had avoided this place since I came back, but not only was it different…I was different.

I slowly walked to the front porch, climbed the stairs, and just stood there in front of the door. I balled up my fist to knock, but it was shaking so bad. '_Who said you can never go home again?' _I thought to myself as I knocked softly_._

After a short moment Charlie opened the door wearing a white t-shirt and his boxers. I had obviously woke him up, but he didn't look the least bit surprised to see me standing on his porch.

"I need to talk to you." I said feigning confidence.

He moved aside and opened the door a little wider. I walked in with my hands at the sides of my legs because I was trying to hide the fact that they were shaking worse than they had the last time I was here.

"How much do you need?"

"Excuse me?" I asked confused.

"Money. How much money do you need?" He said without emotion and I laughed. I couldn't help it even though I knew how inappropriate my laughter was, but it was more of a hysterical response. If I needed something, anything, all I needed to do was ask Edward or really any of the Cullens.

"I don't need money." I said flatly after I had composed myself.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I want to talk to you."

"Really? You're pretty proud of yourself aren't you?" I didn't respond because he was being shitty and honestly there wasn't too much I was proud of, but not listening to Charlie was definitely something I was proud of. "You came back and paraded all over town, good for you. I can't stop you and I really can't make you leave here or La Push. I just hope you're happy with yourself. You just couldn't settle with shaming yourself you just _had _to come back and shame me too. Not only that, but you've completely put a wedge in the middle of my friendship with Billy. Or maybe that's why you're here. Have you finally come to tell me that you got pregnant by Jacob?"

"No, I did not get pregnant by Jacob because I've never slept with Jacob." This was getting really old.

"Really? Is that why you're living next to his house?"

"You really have some fucking nerve, Charlie. I _was _living in La Push because apparently my parents are worthless and can't stand behind the only child, and grandchild, that they have. Emily and Sam were decent enough to take me in until I could get on my feet and I have. I came here because I lied when I told you I didn't know who the father of the baby was and I lied when I said I was at some party. You know, much like yourself, he didn't react so well when I told him, but when I came back…he had come to his senses and regretted his initial response and I was hoping that maybe that could be true for you too, but I now see that you don't have any senses!

"He and I probably would've been together way sooner if you hadn't sent me away, but that doesn't matter now! Everything's going to be fine and I thought I could make amends with you, but now I can't even stand to be in the same room with you!"

"How did you get here?" He asked skeptically as he peered out the window. After everything I had just said and he wants to know how I got here. I shook my head at his priorities.

"Whose car is that?" He asked as he leaned to the side to look at the license plate. I didn't answer him because I didn't think it was important.

"Yeah, the baby is doing great. He's growing well and should be here by the end of June. Thanks for asking." This caught him off guard, but only for a second. I could see something soften in his facial expression and eyes, but it was gone so quickly it was like it had never been there at all and then he was back to inspecting the car from the window.

"That's one of the Cullen kids' cars." He said in a low, abrasive tone.

"Way to go Detective, I mean Chief." I said as I rolled my eyes at him and turned around to leave.

"Emmett?" He asked and then mumbled something under his breath that sounded something like "lucky you weren't broke in half." I didn't really care for him to elaborate on that though.

"I'm leaving." I said as I turned towards the door since I could see that this conversation was going absolutely nowhere. It had been a complete waste of time to even come here. I was broke from my self-chastising by Charlie's loud yelling.

"Wait! Emmett? The kid you used to tutor? He's older than you, Bella. I have half the mind to go talk to that father of his and-"

"No, not Emmett." I said calmly as I stood there and stared at him and watched him settle down as my words sunk in. "Edward." I added because there was no need to keep it a secret anymore.

"Edward Cullen!" He said laughing even though I had no idea why. "This whole time I thought it was Jake and it was Edward Cullen?" He was laughing even more, but I ignored it with a straight face.

"Yes."

"And you always knew?"

"Yes." The hysteria in his voice was starting to wane, so I just kept answering honestly since that was the reason for coming here anyway, to get the truth out.

"Well, I guess _you_ weren't the one that was drunk. I guess that makes more sense now."

"What does?"

"Bella, you're not the kind of kid that goes out and parties and gets drunk. You're naïve and gullible, but not a partier."

"Oh, thanks so much. Wait, what do you mean that _I_ wasn't the one that was drunk?"

"Well, let's just say that Edward is the opposite of you."

"The opposite? You mean that I was tricked by some drunk guy. You're unbelievable you know that?"

"Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's not true. Come on, you're not the most social butterfly in the garden if you get what I mean and then you get knocked up by the prom king, quarterback, richest kid in school, going to Harvard Edward Cullen. What do you think is going to happen, Isabella? Well, I'll tell you. He'll get tired of trying to do the right thing and he'll come to his senses and then what? You'll be just where you were before, alone." I stared at him in disbelief not wanting to have heard what he just said, but I heard every syllable because it was everything I had said to myself, but I knew now that it wasn't true. Even with my reasons for doubting him, Edward had proven that his feelings for me were genuine time and time again.

I got really pissed that Charlie would say such nasty things and all of a sudden all I could see was red.

"Is that so? That's what _will_ happen or that's what _did_ happen? You got my mom pregnant. The pretty, popular prom queen and so she settled for the chubby, class clown until she got bored and left here…left _you_ and here you've been, rotting away alone ever since. You know, I wanted to believe that what you did, throwing me out when I needed you the most, was just a mistake that you would realize and be sorry for it, but now I know that it wasn't a mistake. You're just a shitty person and a shitty father! You can say what you want about Edward and even me, but at least we're going to do the best for our child!"

"That's enough! That's it! Get out, now, Bella!"

"Oh wow, that sounds familiar. Believe me there's nothing I would like better than to get the hell out of here and I won't be back. I'm walking out at that door and I don't care if I ever see you again. You are _not _my father and you will live to regret this. Actually, I'm surprised that you don't regret it now considering you got rid of the only female that would stick around and cook and clean for your sorry ass!"

I heard him laughing as I walked out and I managed to make it to the car before I broke down. I could barely see to drive, but I knew I just had to make it to the school. I just had to make it to Edward. If I could just make it to Edward, everything would be fine.

I parked hastily and grabbed the phone out of my purse and pushed the button to call Edward. I ignored the missed phone calls and texts, just assuming it had been an impatient and overprotective Edward trying to get a hold of me in between classes. He answered almost instantly.

"Hello"

"Edward, come out to the parking lot, please." I barely got the words out as I cried.

"On my way." He said before he hung up.

Before I knew it I saw him running out the door and jumping into the car. As soon as I could feel his presence I was drawn to him. We _were_ like magnets and I always yearned to be near him.

I fell into his arms and cried. Being against him made me feel better, but it couldn't take away all that had happened.

I told him I went to Charlie's and we left it at that. He rocked me and smoothed the hair on my forehead back while whispering in my ear. He told me I needed to calm down for the baby and I did calm down soon after that, knowing that a jackass like Charlie wasn't worth being upset over.

We traded seats and he drove us back to his house. The entire way I clung to his arm, if it made it difficult for him to drive he never said anything. When we got there I went straight to the bed and burrowed my way under the blankets. Edward offered to make me lunch, but I just wanted to lie down.

I urged him to go back to school, it had been his lunch hour and he probably wouldn't even be missed yet. If he went back now then he wouldn't even get into trouble. Reluctantly, he agreed, but I knew if I was persistent enough that he would do as I asked.

He insisted on making me some lunch and leaving it next to the bed. When he brought it up I was curled up in his blankets and almost asleep when he kissed me on the forehead as he was leaving, but I grabbed his shirt to stop him.

"Wait!" I croaked and I pulled him closer to me so I could wrap my arms around him. I held him tight and let my head rest on his chest for a moment. I made a silent wish that he would never leave me before I let him go. I quickly wiped a tear from my face before looking up at him.

"Shit Bella, what's wrong?" His voice was so concerned that it pained my heart. He held me tight and sat down on the bed.

"I'm just, um, still a little shook up from earlier." That's all I wanted to say at least for now.

"Yeah, fuck, of course you are. I'm just going to stay with you. Come here and I'll hold you and you can take a nap." That sounded so good, but I couldn't let him get into trouble.

"Edward, you have to go to school. I'll be right here when you come back."

'It's only a half of a day." He insisted.

"You have to go back. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me. I'll be fine here, just please go back to school, please." I pleaded with him and I could tell by his sigh that he would concede.

"Ok, but if you need me just call." I smiled at him because he was trying so hard to sound authoritative, but he was still impatient, overprotective Edward.

"Of course I will." I said before I placed a kiss on his cheek. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella."

My face was pressed against his chest again and I held him tight because I knew I would have to let him go in a second.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked doubtfully.

"Don't leave me, ok?" I whimpered against him.

"No, I told you I would stay. I won't leave you, Love."

"No, not now. I mean…ever.""Don't worry, that won't happen. It's impossible."

I nodded against him and sighed in relief. His phone started buzzing with a text from Alice saying that she was covering for him, but he needed to get back ASAP. I shooed him away, promising him I would be ok.

Right after he left I fell asleep, but it was a fitful, restless sleep. I had horrible nightmares about the plane ride to Jacksonville and the couple of weeks that followed. I didn't do much those first couple of weeks and if I hadn't been concerned about the baby I doubt I would've even eaten.

I woke up with a scream, but as I looked around and saw the clock I noticed that it was only two something in the afternoon and it would still be about an hour before Edward and Alice would be home from school.

I went to the bathroom because I was sweaty and about ready to pee my pants, or rather Edward's bed, and I doubt he would appreciate that. I came out of the bathroom feeling much better. I pulled my hair back in a ponytail when I had splashed cold water all over my face and I left it like that because it felt good to get my hair out of the way.

I saw my phone on the nightstand, next to the sandwich that Edward had made for me, it was flashing and I remembered that I had missed calls and stuff from earlier. I grabbed the sandwich and ate half of it before I started checking my phone to see if I had missed anything from Edward. There was a bunch of missed texts and I started scrolling through them.

_If you hear any rumors about Edward don't believe them ~ Alice_

Ok, thank you all knowing, Alice.

_Bella, I have something to tell you…it's not good ~ Angela_

I knew Angela wasn't one to gossip and it worried me when I thought of what she could possibly have to say. I had a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach as I moved on to the next text. I could see the words and it only said "I'm so sorry" and it had the icon next to it indicating that it was a photo. I clicked on it and when I did I could feel my lunch rising in my throat.

It was a picture of Edward hugging a girl who I was pretty sure was Chelsea.

I could hear Charlie's words in my ears and it made me feel even more ill. I ran to the bathroom and collapsed to the floor, my knees landing hard on the tile, as I got sick in the toilet.

I hadn't gotten sick like that in a long time. I felt horrible. My face was sweaty again and I was weak and shaking. My stomach felt no better when it was empty and I laid my head on the toilet seat that I had never raised up, not even thinking about how gross that was.

"Fuck. Bella, are you ok?" Edward ran to me and began petting the hair on my forehead like he always did when he wanted to calm me down because it always worked. Even now I couldn't stop myself from feeling relieved that Edward was by my side. I heard him mumbling something about never should've left me by myself, but I wasn't looking at him because I had closed my eyes. I kept my head on the toilet seat because it hurt and I felt like I was spinning.

"Come on Bella, let me help you back to the bed." I groaned something that constituted as a negative response, but he didn't take that for an answer. "You can't just sleep on the toilet, Bella. That's fucking nasty."

"I still feel sick." I groaned.

"Well, then I'll get you a bucket, but you're going to lie down in our bed and not on this nasty, fucking toilet." My head shot up and I looked at him and as soon as I did he got a look that seemed somewhat remorseful.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, um…I mean nasty…uh…gross toilet. I'm sorry you know I have a potty mouth…pardon the pun." He smiled a cheesy smile, but his joke didn't really register with me.

"No, no before that what did you say?"

"I'll get you a bucket?"

"No, after that."

"You're going to lie down in the bed."

"You didn't say _the_ bed. You said _our_ bed."

"Yeah, Bella. Our bed in our room. Did you hit your head or something because I can take you to the hospital right now -"

"No, Edward. I'm fine. I just…got sick to my stomach that's all." I lifted my arms up to him, so he would help me up, but he picked me up instead.

I would think it would've been harder than it actually was, but he picked me up easily and carried me to the bed. He laid me down, but I wouldn't let go of his shirt that I was still clutching.

"I'm just going to get a bucket or something."

"No, I don't need it. Just stay," I pleaded.

"Ok, sure." He said as he crawled under the blankets and laid next to me.

"So, tell me about your day." I said quietly with my head nuzzled against his chest. I just wanted to listen to his beautiful voice and let myself forget about all the shit that had happened today.

"Well, it fucking sucked. I was worried about you the whole time and now I wish I had just stayed. Are you sick because I can get Carlisle or call your doctor or something." He didn't sound like he was any less worried, but he had just found me slumped over the toilet, so I guess that makes sense.

"No, I was just upset. I know I shouldn't have gotten worked up like that, but I had a nightmare and then…" I trailed off because I really didn't want to finish the thought.

"Your dad's a fucking cock." He said angrily.

"Yeah, he is and he's _not_ my dad and I told him as much, but I really don't want to talk about that right now. I wish I had never gone over there. I wish you had just kept your car or just not have let me drive it or something." I ranted.

"Oh" He said in a anguished tone. "That reminds me of something. I had a conversation with Chelsea today."

"Oh" I was trying to sound like this was news to me.

"Yeah, it was actually a pretty good conversation, you know closure and all that, but we can talk about that shit later. Basically, we just put shit behind us and then she hugged me. It wasn't romantic or anything, so I hugged her back, but I just thought I would tell you, you know honesty is the best policy or some shit."

"Yeah, honesty is always your best bet." I said absentmindedly as I processed what he had just said.

"W-w-what did you say?" He stuttered. Edward Cullen and his velvety, beautiful voice never stuttered.

"I said honesty is always your best _bet_."

A/N -

Ok, so the "always your best bet" thing wasn't planned until last night when I heard There You Go by Pink on the radio (haven't heard that song in forever) and that was in the lyrics and it just inspired me to throw that shit in there…ha ha.

Someone said they would like to see a Charlie POV and I actually had one come to mind today right before they said that, but I really don't see it coming out until the sequel.

Not too much to say this time except I know everyone wants to kick Charlie in the nardicles.

If you have questions, suggestions, predictions then just hit me up :)

Reviews are better when ffn isn't fucked up…totes!


	16. Chapter 16 The Talk

**Disclaimer - Edward is **_**not**_** mine. Betward **_**is**_** mine.**

**A/N -**

**Thank you to all the readers, I can't say it enough, I love you guys and a big thanks to Beta Lulu.**

**Ok, I wrote 2k words of completely different shit before I trashed it and moved on to this, but I think you will like it. I know everyone has been anxiously awaiting the reveal of the bet, but I have to confess that I changed it a little from how I had been thinking it would go.**

**I'm really happy with this chapter and I hope you are, too. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 16**

**The Talk**

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* * *

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_**Previously on TB:**_

"_Yeah, honesty is always your best bet." I said absentmindedly as I processed what he had just said._

"_W-w-what did you say?" He stuttered. Edward Cullen and his velvety, beautiful voice never stuttered. _

"_I said honesty is always your best bet."_

* * *

**EPOV**

When I heard that word my heart sped up, my palms got sweaty, and I was just all around nervous. I had been avoiding this subject because we were dealing with so much else. Bella was just starting to trust me and not only that, but I think she had gone through enough crap for one day that she didn't need to hear hurtful shit from me too.

I was choking on my words, literally, and I could see Bella's eyes grow big with shock at my reaction.

"Bella, I think we need to talk." I said solemnly and without faltering on my words this time. It wasn't the best timing, I knew this, but it would eventually have to come out, so I assumed the sooner the better.

She looked down and started to shake her head 'no'.

"Bella, my love, we really do need to talk." I tried to sound as soothing and loving as I possibly could, but it didn't stop my voice from trembling ever so slightly.

She was still shaking her head and then her hand flew up to her mouth.

"I need the bucket now." She mumbled.

I jumped up and grabbed the wastebasket from the bathroom and brought it to her. I smoothed the hair on her forehead back as she leaned over, but she didn't get sick again. I assumed she had already dispelled what little she had eaten today.

"Bella, I know you probably don't feel much like eating, but you really should have something, maybe toast or crackers?"

"No, I'm feeling better now. I actually do feel pretty hungry." Her voice was quiet and she looked exhausted.

"Ok, so you rest and I'll go check and see what we have in the fridge."

"Actually, I already took a nap, so I'm going to take a quick shower since I feel really gross." She gave me a little smile and she got up to go into the bathroom. I had forgotten that she said she had a nightmare, the last thing she probably wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"Enjoy your shower, Bella, I'll be right back." I kissed her on the forehead and took off to see if I could find something that Bella would deem acceptable to eat.

After rummaging in several cabinets and the refrigerator, I put a bunch of cut vegetables on a plate and put some ranch dressing on it because that's how Alice liked it, but then had doubts that Bella would like it the same way, so I put peanut butter on the plate, too. I grabbed 2 bottles of water before I headed back upstairs.

I was stopped by Alice on the way and we spoke briefly. I had explained the whole Chelsea thing to her and she was glad to hear that I was up front with Bella. Telling Bella had seemed like the best thing to do and clearly it was because she seemed to understand and that's when I was reminded that I had gotten distracted from the biggest thing that I wanted to come clean about.

I told Alice I would talk to her later and went back to the bedroom trying to come up with a way to tell her about the bet without it sounding bad, but I already knew that there wasn't one.

I walked slowly down the hall and snuck into the room like I wasn't supposed to be there because I was stalling and nervous as hell. I put the plate and the waters on the dresser and that's when I heard Bella yelling from the closet.

I didn't hesitate to swing the door open and was greeted by a very shocked looking Bella standing there in my clothes and holding her cell phone to her ear.

"I gotta go." She said to whomever she was speaking with and then hung up.

She looked really fucking cute standing there in my Spartan t-shirt and sweat pants and I couldn't help but to smile at her.

"I'm glad to see you rethought the option of wearing my sweat pants."

"What can I say? They're very comfortable and I've neglected my laundry for far too long." She added with a laugh.

"Oh, well I could do your laundry for you." I offered, but that was a lie. I didn't even do my own laundry.

"Yes, that sounds very tempting coming from the guy who doesn't know how to open the dishwasher, but I think I like my whites to stay white and my clothes not to shrink."

"Suit yourself then, Love."

"You could help me carry the laundry basket down later unless you were just trying to get me out of your pants." She said while her finger twirled around the front of my shirt and then she winked at me. She fucking winked. God, I was a sucker for that shit.

"I…um…uh." I was stammering again and that's when I remembered that I had come up here with a purpose…to crush Bella's heart. I really didn't want to do this, but the sooner the better I kept repeating in my head.

"Bella, we still need to talk."

"Oh, ok." She said rather calmly and I felt beyond horrible when she smiled at me looking up with her big, brown eyes and I could see that she trusted me and I felt like shit because I didn't deserve that trust, but at the same time I didn't want to fucking lose it either.

This is when she did the last thing I expected her to do which really wasn't new for Bella, but it made me catch my breath all the same. She walked right over to the fucking weight bench, yes there's the pun again, and sat right down on it and then patted the spot next to her.

Unable to not do what she asked me to, I went right over there and sat down without a second thought. Her hair was still wet and dripping and she looked sexy as hell as she leaned back on the bar that would be holding the weights if there were any.

"So, what did you want to talk about, Edward?" She said with a smile.

I loved the way she said my name and I wondered if after I told her if it would change the way she said it, the way she looked at me or smiled at me, or even how she felt about me. The answer was probably a yes, yes, yes, and a yes. I couldn't decide that for her though and I couldn't keep it from her just because I was afraid of the outcome. I had to let her decide for herself whether or not she could forgive me.

"I have to tell you that…" I completely lost my train of thought as her finger played it's way up the inside of my leg and then she leaned closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder. Her lips ghosted their way up to my ear where she started fucking whispering shit.

"What do you have to tell me?" Her whisper was so fucking seductive that I could barely contain my excitement. And by excitement I do mean hard on.

I gulped rather loudly and took in a ragged breath as Bella's finger came dangerously close to said hard on.

"I have to tell you something important." I said with deep sadness.

"Oh" she whispered in my ear again just as sexy as ever. "Is it that you want to fuck me again on this weight bench?"

"Shit." I said in a growl. That was definitely not what I wanted to tell her, but a good guess nonetheless. "No, that wasn't it, but still a very true statement." She hummed in agreement against my neck and it made me shiver.

"Well, I think this bench has missed us. What do you think?" She said while she rubbed the leather of the bench lovingly and her voice was somewhere between childish and sex goddess and I fucking loved it.

"I think you couldn't be more right, Bella." My task was long forgotten as my lips crashed to hers.

I could never grow tired of the way her lips tasted and the way her hair smelled or the way she felt underneath me.

"I love the way your lips taste." I said in between kisses and she hummed in response. "and the way you smell and feel…I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Edward." She panted as she shimmied her way out of the sweat pants.

I'm not sure how it came to be that I was now on top of a pantless Bella while she took off her shirt, and on the sacred weight bench no less, especially when my original intention was to tell her the truth about…everything.

Once her shirt was discarded those thoughts were, too. Her hands quickly worked to pull my shirt off and then she wasted no time as she begun tugging on my belt. After my clothes found their place on the floor next to hers, it only took a split second before my mouth found her neck, as it usually did, and she moaned my name in the fuckhot way, as she usually did.

We hadn't been together in awhile and I wanted to take my time. I started kissing her slowly and I cupped her cheeks with my hands. I let one of my hands meander its way down, stopping briefly at her breast which elicited a moan from her, went past the bump of her stomach stroking it softly, and then stopped between her legs.

Her knees were firmly at my sides, but when my hand stopped, her legs fell to the side a little. I stroked her wetness slowly listening to her moan quietly into my ear. I knew from last time that she seemed to enjoy this, but before I could push my finger inside her she swatted my hand away and I began to doubt myself.

"I just want you." She said breathlessly into my ear in a desperate tone that made me just as eager.

I promptly moved my hand away and now had both hands resting next to Bella on the weight bench. I rubbed against her feeling her anticipation for me as she bucked her hips up to meet me every time I grinded against her.

I could hear her quiet whimpers and I could hear her sexy voice in my mind repeating what she had said earlier _"Is it that you want to fuck me again on this weight bench?". _It was hotter than hell to hear Bella talk like that, but that's not what I was going to do; it wasn't what I had ever done.

"Bella, my beautiful angel, I'm going to make love to you here just like I did the first time." I whispered sweetly into her ear and then kissed her forehead. I only got a needy whimper in return.

I pushed into her slowly and kept the slow pace. I wanted to lean closer to her, but for fear of smashing her stomach underneath me I remained further back which provided a rather nice view.

Tired of merely watching from a distance I let both my hands come up and cup her breasts. They had always been a good size, but now they were overflowing out of my hands. I could feel her nipples pebble under my palms and I tweaked them softly at first and then a little harder.

Bella sped up her movement and started to moan with each breath she took. I sped up with her and didn't move my hands from where they seemed to belong.

"Oh, fuck, Edward!"

I had never heard anything like that before from Bella or ever as far as I was concerned and if someone else had said it, it wasn't worth remembering as it had never affected me like this.

"Oh, Bella you feel so fucking good."

She moaned in a way that I had never heard before. It was like the most erotic melody that could ever have been heard and that's all it took. I felt her tighten around me and I moved in and out a few more times before I nearly collapsed on her.

I moved next to her, but there wasn't enough room, so I began picking up our clothes from the floor. She was sitting up now and I leaned down, wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her passionately. I whispered that I loved her before I slipped my shirt that she had been wearing over her head and then I started to put my jeans back on which wasn't the easiest thing to do with my shaking legs. Not only had it been a difficult task to not fall off the weight bench, or onto Bella, but I still had a euphoric feeling of bliss that was making me a little dizzy and I'm pretty sure I had a really goofy grin on my face, too.

"You know, Edward" She said while putting her pants back on. "I'm really glad you didn't listen to _me_ about the weight bench." She winked at me again and fuck if it didn't make me hard again.

Yes, at this moment I was rather glad I didn't listen to her, or rather my subconscious, also. "Well, I guess I won't return it after all." I said jokingly because there was no way in hell that I was going to return it anyway.

"That's good to hear, but perhaps next time you can get me dirty_ before _my shower rather than after." She said in her naughty voice with a devilish grin on her face.

I trailed my finger up from her collarbone, up her neck, and under her chin. "Or maybe _in _the shower." I said with a somewhat similar tone and grin.

Bella only seemed surprised for a moment before she got her devilish grin back and left the closet.

I laid on the bed just thinking while Bella was in the bathroom. _Should I tell her now or maybe it would be better to tell her later? _I thought to myself. I was still thinking my 'better sooner than later' reasoning was the best way to go. I should just get it done and over with, so we could try to move past it because I wouldn't let myself believe that Bella wouldn't forgive me, even if I knew I didn't deserve her forgiveness.

She walked out of the bathroom and sat on the side of the bed which was when I realized that I was in the middle of the bed, so I moved over to what was deemed her side of the bed, but it didn't really matter.

"Here you go" She said while throwing something at me. When I picked it up I saw that it was the good smelling lotion that she always put on her stomach or, as of late, that I put on her stomach.

She lifted up her shirt so I could put the lotion on her and I could see her relax against the pillows and close her eyes. I leaned closer to her and hummed while I used both hands to rub the lotion in softly.

When I was done I laid back to where I was and even though she didn't open her eyes she instantly nuzzled against me and I took her in my arms so she could rest her head on my chest. I was running my fingers through her long hair, not wanting to ruin the moment, but knowing if I didn't just spit it out about the bet that it would just continue to eat me up inside.

"Bella…um…you know that I-"

"Oh yeah, before the rendezvous with the weight bench you were gonna bring me something to eat. I'm even more hungry know." She smiled up at me and patted her stomach where I think Joey was kicking and I couldn't believe that I had forgotten about her food.

"Oh shit, yeah I brought you some vegetables and stuff." I jumped off the bed to get the plate and quickly handed it to her with the water.

"I'm going to see what Esme is making for dinner." I kissed her on the cheek, grabbed my water bottle, and ran downstairs.

I briefly told Esme about Bella's encounter with her asshole of a father and that she wasn't feeling very well. When I went back upstairs to tell Bella what was for dinner I opened the door to a very happy looking Bella eating away on the bed.

"This is so good. You're a genius, Edward." She proclaimed with a full mouth.

"That I am, but I'm not sure for exactly what this time." I said jokingly.

Bella was rather quirky and I was worried when I made her plate that I wasn't doing it right like maybe she wanted the vegetables cut a certain way or arranged by color or not to touch each other or some crazy shit like that.

"I never knew that peanut butter and ranch tasted so good together." She said while she drowned a carrot in both.

"Well, honestly I didn't either. I put both on there because I wasn't sure which one you liked." I admitted, but then added. "I still gladly accept the title of genius though."

"Sure, sure the title is yours." She said while she swirled half of a broccoli in ranch before dipping the other half in the peanut butter, so that the two weren't mixed on the top of the broccoli even though it would soon all be mixed together in her mouth. I smiled at the quirkiness that I knew was Bella.

I sat next to her and just watched how she would dip the food and bite each vegetable in a specific way until she was almost done.

"Bella I really think we should talk." I said earnestly.

"Your right." She agreed while nodding her head. "I feel like I know you so well, but in truth there are so many things we don't know about each other. So, tell me where you were you born? In the Midwest right?" She asked while glancing up from her plate.

"Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I was born in the Midwest." I was totally caught off guard, again, but it was true I felt the same way about her, wishing that I knew everything there was to know about her. "I was born in Chicago and we moved here a few years ago."

"That's cool. I was actually born here, but I don't remember living here because I was still a baby when my mother and I moved to Arizona."

We spent the next hour or so just talking about different things from when we were growing up like vacations we went on and TV shows and toys that we liked. We talked about some of our favorites like our favorite colors, foods, and music.

"Oh, so what did Esme say was for dinner?" She asked because I had forgotten to tell her.

"Oh yeah, she said salmon with rice."

Bella puffed out her cheeks with her hand covering her mouth while she shook her head and made a little "uh, uh" sound.

"That doesn't sound to appealing to you?" I asked with a chuckle because I suppose if I had gotten sick like Bella had that shit wouldn't sound very appetizing, actually it didn't sound very appetizing either way. "Well, you already know about my culinary skills, or lack thereof rather, but what sounds good to you?"

"I don't know…something greasy." She said with wide eyes and I could only imagine what she was thinking. I uncontrollably scowled at the word 'greasy' and she immediately noticed. "Edward, it's ok in moderation. Besides, I eat really healthy." It was true she did, besides all the fucking ice cream she ate, but I was not going to say that.

"True. So, what do you want? I could order a pizza."

"How about a burger and fries?"

"Sure, I really didn't want to eat fish anyway, so I'll just call in an order at the diner and go pick it up." I offered and she got a big fucking smile on her face over a hamburger and it made me smile too.

"Ok, I want a cheeseburger…no, a bacon cheeseburger with everything on it and fries." She said while she rubbed her stomach and made some "mmm" sounds.

I laughed a little and then gave her a kiss before I went downstairs and told Esme, who was setting the table for dinner, that Bella was having a craving and I would be getting us something different for dinner. She told me she was glad that Bella was feeling well enough to eat and I told her I was glad, too.

I called in the order and then made my way to the car. I just sat in the running car for a moment, still in the driveway, and let my head lean back on the head rest as I listened to the song on the radio. It must have been the station that Bella left it on when she was driving because it wasn't one that I usually listened to and I didn't recognize the cheesy, pop, teen, douche bag band that was singing. I didn't think much of the band, but the lyrics were nice and if I was a big pussy I may have cried a little. Yeah, ok, I was a big pussy, but in my defense I was going crazy about this whole 'coming clean' deal. I had decided to do the right thing and be honest, but it seemed like I just couldn't get the fucking words out. Maybe I wasn't meant to tell her, but I doubt that because I have seen enough teen, crap movies to know that if I didn't tell her that someone else would and that would just make it worse…probably a lot worse.

I was almost to the diner, and I was now driving in silence since I didn't know if sad ass, pussy songs were this radio station's specialty and I really had had enough for the day, when I saw none other than Chief Fuckhead drive past me apparently having just left the diner himself. I was really fucking glad that we weren't in there at the same time because I'm sure that no one would want to bail me out of jail tonight. I had just enough self control to keep my head forward and not flip him off, but I seriously doubted that I had enough self control if I were to come face to face with him to not call him some choice names or punch him in the fucking face. From what I saw from the few glances that I stole his way, he didn't seem to be looking at me either, but I knew that he saw me…asshole.

I was quick to pay for the food and get home. I didn't say much to everyone that was at the dinner table when I got home and I ran upstairs as fast as I could because I ached to be near Bella again and was certain that when I was that I would feel better, but when I opened the door and saw her there I was wrong, I only felt worse. I felt worse because this secret was a burden on me and I couldn't help but to feel somewhat responsible for Bella's argument with her sorry excuse for a father.

I just stood there for a moment looking at the odd sight of Bella trying to reach her toes to paint them, which she did, but it was no easy feat and a rather peculiar thing to watch, but mostly I was just thinking about how shitty I felt.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a tone that sounded harsh even though I hadn't meant it to and I tossed the bag of food towards the end of the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was really careful though and I didn't spill any…" She stammered and looked like a child who just got scolded by their parent.

"No, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that." I said quickly. "It just looked like you were having an awfully hard time and I would've helped you. Well, I guess I wouldn't have been much help, but Alice would've been ecstatic to help you." I said honestly because as Bella could attest to after her many makeovers at the hand of Alice, Alice loved all things girly.

"I know, but she never lets me pick the color." She said with a little pout and I would've laughed at the sight if I had been in the mood for laughing.

"You know, for as many meals as we've eaten on your bed you may consider putting a table in here." She said jokingly. I just nodded in response as I took the to go boxes out of the bag.

"_Our_ bed." I corrected quietly. She nodded in return and started putting ketchup from the little packets all over her French fries.

I handed her napkins and her water and then started eating in silence. Bella thanked me for getting the food and was saying something about how good it was, but I wasn't really listening.

"You saw him didn't you?"

"What?"

"Charlie. You saw him, right?"

"Yeah, I did. We drove past each other, so it wasn't like I said anything to him."

"Well, there really wouldn't be anything to say anyway." She said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, I happen to disagree. I can think of several things that I would like to say not to mention a few gestures and other things of a physical nature that I would like to do."

"Why?" She asked seriously like it was honestly the weirdest thing for her to hear that I would want to defend her.

"Let me think, Bella. Because he's a complete prick and I can just imagine the horrible things that he said to you and for just making you upset. I think those are pretty good reasons." I said defensively.

"Yeah sure, he's a prick, but whatever you say or do isn't going to change that and it isn't even going to punish him…he has his punishment." She said calmly while eating a few fries.

I wasn't sure exactly what to ask, so I just gave her a quizzical look and she let out a deep sigh before she set down her sandwich and began speaking.

"I don't want to say it like this, but it's the only way it'll make sense. Do you remember how awful you felt when I was gone, all alone and guilty? Well, that's how Charlie will have to feel for…well, for the rest of his life I suppose. He has to live with that guilt and the fact that he abandoned me when I needed him and that he won't have a relationship with his only child or his grandchild. That's punishment enough, Edward. You don't need to stoop down to his level, let him be alone there, too." She said it sounding completely at peace with it and then she picked her sandwich up and began murmuring again about how good it was.

I just sat there for a moment because I would never get over how fucking great this person next to me was and I loved that about her. She only made me want to be better…I already knew that I was better than I was and I only wanted to be even better for her and for Joey.

"Bella,-"

"Oh yeah, we're missing our show."

She reached over me and grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. It was true, we had a show that we watched every night like an old, married couple. It was a game show and Bella would answer all the questions even if she didn't really know the answer, but usually she did. Ordinarily, listening to Bella was as entertaining, if not more so, than the actual show, but tonight I didn't pay much attention. I finished my food and then took our trash downstairs.

When I came back the TV was off and Bella was under the blankets and I couldn't tell if she was sleeping or not, but I guessed that she was.

I stood in front of the dresser and pulled out some pajama pants and not even bothering to go into the bathroom I just started to change right there.

"You know, you could just come to bed with your boxer shorts on."

"Fuck Bella, you scared the shit out of me!"

She laughed a little, but I thought it sounded pretty good, so I quickly brushed my teeth, turned off the light, and jumped into bed wearing only my boxers.

Bella and I were on our sides facing each other in the dark and she got closer to me so that her face was pressed up against me chest.

"Mmm, I like laying like this when you don't have a shirt on." She mumbled against my chest.

I just laid there for awhile, but my mind wouldn't rest. I reached for the lamp on the night stand and turned it on.

"Bella, are you asleep?"

"No, what's wrong?" She looked up at me with a worried look on her face.

"Bella, there's something important that I have to tell you."

"Just tell me in the morning." She said with a yawn and then put her head back down on my chest.

"No, Bella, it can't wait. It's already waited too long. I have to tell you…you have to know the truth…I have to tell you what I did." I finally got the words out and I took a deep breath trying to gain the courage to finish.

"I don't want to know, now please turn off the light." She said casually, never picking her head back up.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"I don't want to know. Furthermore, I don't care, so please turn off the light so we can go to sleep."

"Bella, how do you know that you won't care. I think you should know the truth, so our relationship isn't based on lies."

"Lies!? Do you not love me? Are the words in your letter not the truth? What could possibly be a lie that would jeopardize or relationship!?" She shouted at me.

"Of course I love you! I have no doubt that I loved you the very instant I saw you, but-"

"How could 'but' possibly fit after those words? If you love me and want to be with me and our child as I want to be with you then I see nothing that should follow those words. Were you not honest with me about the girls or that you quit drinking and doing drugs?" Her voice was shaky and I could see a few tears running down her cheeks.

"Of course I was! I told you the truth about those things, but I have to tell you about before-"

"Before? Before I left?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Then I don't want to hear it. It's done and in the past. I don't want to live in that time of my life and I don't want it to rule my future. It's behind me and it's behind us. I'm only concerned about this right now and our future." She said it with such force and there were more tears flowing down her cheeks, but it did nothing to take away the conviction in her voice.

I could say nothing to that. I had tried to tell her and as far as I was concerned I was victorious. I didn't _really_ feel victorious though. I thought she deserved to know everything and I deserved to work for her forgiveness.

"Ok, Bella." I conceded against my better judgment. "I only wanted to be honest with you. I didn't even know if you would forgive me, but I thought you deserved to know."

"Edward, it was a long time ago, things are different now, and there are few things in this world that would make me not want to be with you and I can honestly say that you are forgiven." I could tell that she meant every word that she said and even if I wanted to contest I couldn't because her lips were pressed against mine and she was kissing me hungrily as her hands ran through my hair.

"Thank you, Bella" I whispered.

"I love you forever, Edward." She whispered back.

"That was some goodnight kiss." I said with a laugh as I drew back to catch my breath.

"Oh, I didn't realize that it was past your bedtime, little boy." She said in the most seductive, fucking voice while her finger trailed down my bare chest and then stopped at the band of my boxers.

I began to scoff at her statement, but then her hand continued until it rested firmly on my now hard cock. I let out a sharp breath because it surprised the fuck out of me and I couldn't remember a time, outside of one of my dreams, when Bella's hand had touched me like this.

My surprise faded as my arousal grew. Bella's hand had ducked its way into my boxers and now not only was her hand firmly grasping my dick, but it was also stroking it in a really slow, sensual way that made my head fall back to the pillow and I let out a low moan.

"Fuck, Bella, that feels so good."

She started kissing my neck and I could feel her tongue swirl around my skin while she bit lightly a few times. It felt so good that I didn't give it too much thought when I rolled over to be on top of Bella, but on the upside, her hand never broke it's grip or rhythm.

"I thought you were the one that was tired, little girl."

"Not anymore." She whispered, but as I thought about it more she probably was really tired and possibly sore from earlier in the closet.

"We don't have to do anything that you're not up for, Bella." I whispered softly in her ear because it was true, we always had tomorrow…and the next day and so on.

"Well, I don't know if I'm ready for something so kinky, but I'm sure I'll be fine…better than fine." She breathed into my ear.

I wasn't sure what she was talking about that was so kinky. The light was on, but the light had been on in the closet or maybe it was the hand job, but I didn't think it was either one of those.

"I would love to do kinky things to you, Bella, but I'm not quite sure what your referring to." I could feel her shiver at my words and I was rather looking forward to hearing something kinky fall from her beautiful lips.

Her hand left its new home that it had found in my shorts, which made me frown slightly, but then both of Bella's hands were on my shoulders and she was kissing me softly and rubbing against me slowly. The kisses stopped when she moved to my ear to say something, but the gyrating was still in full effect which I was more than grateful for.

"The bed, Edward. I've…we've never done it in one and I don't know if I'm up for something so _naughty_." She said in that sex goddess voice right in my fucking ear. Even the way she said 'naughty' was beyond the definition of the word.

It was true though, we had been under the bleachers, on the weight bench (twice now - add fist pump here), in the bathtub, and on the piano, but never in a bed.

"Well, you're in for a real treat then." I said playfully while nuzzling and biting Bella's neck which made her squeal and giggle in a really hot way.

I reached for the lamp, but then had second thoughts.

"Light stays on. Clothes must come off." I said in an authoritative tone.

Our clothes were discarded quickly, half on the floor and I think the other half were under the blankets somewhere.

She kissed me deeply with her hands cupping my face and her legs wrapped around me.

"I'm going to take my time and make you feel so good." I said into her mouth and she moaned against mine.

She pushed me off of her and in one quick movement I was now flat on my back and she was on top of me. "Ditto" She said with a mischievous grin.

Oh yes, this was going to be a long night indeed.

**A/N - **

**Yay, I know you guys have missed the lemons and I know we all missed Mr. Weight Bench very, very much ;)**

**Peanut Butter + Ranch = Nasty (?) I don't know I never really tried it, but I'm guessing it's not really a good thing**

**If you have a question, even if it doesn't sound rhetorical like **_**what the fuck? **_**or **_**Are you fucking crazy?, **_**please let me know that you truly want to know the answer. I don't want to ruin anything, but I have a feeling a few of you will want to know a thing or two as I don't anticipate a bpov of this chapter *insert evil laugh here*.**

**Cheesy, pop, teen, douche bag band - Yes, I know what band and song was playing, but there's a reason why I didn't name it. However, if anyone wants to give a guess at the band name I will offer a name cameo to whomever gets the correct answer first.**

**I think we'll break 400 reviews this chapter which makes me so excited! **

**Reviews are better than a long night with Edward…ok, but a close second.**


	17. Chapter 17 The Light

**Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight. I own all the non-Twilight fuckery of TB.**

**A/N- **

**Ok, I don't think my not so reveal was very successful. I thought it would put some of you at ease and allow you to reduce your Xanax intake, but I think it had the opposite affect on some of you, lol. All I can say is what Bella said was heartfelt and honest and we won't be back to the bet topic for awhile. We have bigger fish to fry like graduation and baby stuff :)**

**The band Betward was talking about last chapter was The Jonas Brothers which Smiley0124 guessed right and her name cameo will be coming up in a future chapter.**

**I deeply apologize for the long wait, this chapter just wasn't very easy to write and I had a lot of RL things going on (apparently it takes up a lot of one's time to fail physics) anyway I didn't want to rush it and have it be crap. I hope to be much quicker now that the end is near. I did an outline for what we have left and we're looking at 4-5 more chapters plus epi. Thanks to everyone for sticking around!**

**Chapter 17**

**The Light**

* * *

**Previously on TB - EPOV**

"_I'm going to take my time and make you feel so good." I said into her mouth and she moaned against mine._

_She pushed me off of her and in one quick movement I was now flat on my back and she was on top of me. "Ditto" She said with a mischievous grin._

_Oh yes, this was going to be a long night indeed._

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up with a naked Bella sleeping on my chest and her hair in my face. Not a bad way to wake up at all. Actually, it was a really fucking awesome way to wake up except for the fact that it was six in the morning.

I let myself enjoy the moment just a little longer. I closed my eyes and let the sensations fill me. Bella's warm skin against mine, her breath against my neck, her soft hair on my cheek, and the strawberry scent in my nose. After several minutes I knew I had to get up to get ready for school, but before I moved I heard Bella whisper "You were right, Thomas."

At first I thought she was waking up, but when she remained still, I knew she was asleep. I had only heard Bella say my name in her sleep and I was starting to get really pissed wondering who in the fuck this Thomas asshole was and that's when she spoke again.

"You were right I shouldn't have went back."

Back where? Here as in my house or maybe Forks in general. It saddened me to think that she would feel that way, but I quickly realized that she didn't. She was talking about _her_ house, about when she went back home yesterday. Well, it wasn't her home anymore, but that's when I put it together and knew what she was talking about.

Leave it to my girl to quote fucking Thomas Wolf her in her damn sleep. Maybe Mr. Wolfe was right when he said you could never go home again or maybe that was only true because Bella's supposed father was a fucking prick. I thought about what Bella said about him yesterday and decided that I wouldn't let him ruin what was starting out as a great day.

I knew I had to get up and I needed to wake Bella up too. She had to go to school with us today and take a few quizzes. Dad had told her yesterday morning before we left, but I'm sure after everything that happened yesterday that she had forgotten. The school was wanting to make sure that Bella took all tests, quizzes, and finals the same day that everyone else took them. I'm sure this was because Alice and I were in the same classes, not to mention Jasper, and they didn't want us telling Bella the answers. I suppose it had slipped their minds that she was a fucking straight A student and didn't need to cheat, but whatever. Dad had already told us she would have to take tests at the school, so the same day stipulation wasn't that big of a deal, at least Bella hadn't thought it was.

"Bella, it's time to wake up." I whispered in her ear, but all I got was a tired grunt in return. This wasn't helpful to my already hard dick especially when I had her naked chest pressed up against my equally naked chest. Fuck, I needed to quit thinking the word _naked_.

"Bella, you have to wake up." I whispered in her ear.

"No, I'm tired. We can do it later, ok?" She slurred tiredly and I laughed a little that she thought I was waking her up for sex.

"Yeah, you promise?" I asked, still laughing, and she responded with some sort of noise that was supposed to mean 'yes'.

"Bella, that's not why I was waking you up. We have school today."

"Esme doesn't make me get up this early." She protested.

"No, you're going to school with us, remember? You have to take your quizzes with Mr. Smith during his first hour free period."

"Ugh, Mr. Smith is a douche bag!" She half shouted and half mumbled into my chest.

"Yeah he is, but you have to take your quizzes."

"I know, but if he's late I'm going to kick him in the junk because if I have to get my ass out of bed early then so should he."

"My goodness, Bella. You've got some mouth on you this morning." I joked with her.

"Yeah, well I'm tired and grouchy and I also spend all my free time with the foul mouth twins." She laughed at her own joke because it was true Alice had a dirty mouth to contrast her sweet looking face and my foul mouth well, it spoke for itself.

I kissed her on the cheek and got up to take a shower. I let the sheet fall away from me until I was standing next to the bed as naked as a jay bird. Huh, there's another one of those stupid bird sayings. I've never seen any other bird in a three piece suit so what was so naked about a fucking jay bird? I'm sure Bella would know, I smirked to myself and turned around to look at her. She was laying on her side with the sheet barely covering her breasts and her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly agape as she looked at me. Oh yeah, I was naked as was she. So much for not thinking that word anymore.

"Care to join me for a shower?" I held my hand out to her with a smile.

"Well, I am quite dirty" She mused.

"That you are" I agreed.

She took my hand and we walked into the bathroom together. Naked.

**BPOV**

"Alice, I need your expert help." I called out as I knocked on her door wearing only my undergarments and a robe .

"Come in." She answered instantly.

"I don't know what to wear to school today." I whined and then pouted with my arms folded across my chest and all that was missing was a foot stomp.

"Wear you pregnant dino shirt." She said nonchalantly as she was taking jewelry out of her jewelry box.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Most of the school doesn't know I'm pregnant so why don't I just wear a freaking banner that says so." I said very sarcastically.

"Fine, fine. Let me see what I can find." She said as she strolled into her walk in closet. It was even more full than Edward's closet which I didn't think was possible, but we were talking about Alice so I wasn't surprised.

A few minutes and a crashing noise later she came out with a t-shirt and some stretchy pants.

"Here these should fit you."

"You don't wear this size." I said while eyeing the tag. Edward and I, mostly I, was trying to put an end to Alice's new habit of buying me stuff and I knew that Alice wasn't above sneaking new things into my wardrobe.

"I did when Jasper was away at camp last summer. All I did was eat." She snorted.

I put on the t-shirt that was entirely too tight not that it didn't look good on my huge boobs, but it didn't look so hot on my equally huge belly. The pants were comfortable and I believe they said "Hollister" across my bottom. I looked in the mirror and it wasn't so bad and it was comfortable.

"Thanks, Alice. Can I wear the matching sweater too?"

"What sweater?" Alice asked innocently. She was always saying that I should show off my baby bump. I was much more discreet with my growing stomach since it usually solicited either dirty looks or belly rubbing, neither of which I cared to deal with so early in the damn morning.

"I know that they make a matching everything for this shit and you probably own the matching underwear, socks, and handbag, but I just want to wear the sweater, please."

She gave a little huff and then walked back to the closet.

***

I was driving Edward and I to school in his car. Alice had said that she would pick up Jasper, so we could ride to school by ourselves. We had spent a lot of time together, alone, recently, but I was glad to have more.

I thought I had stuck gum in the pocket of the matching sweater that Alice did in fact have, but I must've forgotten to put it in there. My hand swirled around the empty pockets of the sweater and my rain jacket a few times before finally giving up.

"Edward, can I have a piece of candy?" I asked him remembering that he usually had candy with him at school.

"I don't have any candy." He answered tiredly.

"But you always used to have candy." I almost sounded petulant in my disbelief.

"Yeah, that was _before_." I didn't like that word…_before. _The time before right now sucked.

"Oh" I said quietly and I kept my eyes focused on the road. I didn't know why he couldn't just drive, but he said something about me being sexy while I drove his car…whatever. I heard him sigh and I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye.

"I think your kisses taste like candy, Bella, and you smell like strawberries." He said with a defeated tone. He made it sound like a bad thing, like a confession and then I remembered his favorite flavor of candy…strawberry.

"The candy was because of me?"

"I missed you, Bella."

"I missed you, too" I said and almost started crying because I had missed him so much even when I thought that we had meant nothing to him I still couldn't help but to miss him, but those things were in the past and I had to remind myself constantly to leave them there.

"If I take your car when I'm done how will you get home?" I asked him because I hated being a nuisance and I knew that Alice's car only had two seats and she would probably be taking Jasper home.

"I'll just take you home when you're done."

We were silent the rest of the way. I drove slowing because the rain started to come down harder and the parking lot was busy as it usually was at this time of the morning. I was surprised by how much I had missed something as trivial as driving to school, but of course my driving situation had vastly improved since I was here last.

"You really need your own car." Edward stated as I parked the car.

I was a little taken aback by what he said and instantly felt nervous. Did I do something wrong? I thought I had been driving well, but perhaps I had been overly cautious or maybe it was just that I had imposed enough and the inconvenience was finally getting to him.

"I…um. I'm sorry. I can find another way to get around or-" I was stammering and being overly sensitive when Edward interrupted me.

"Bella, there's nothing to be sorry about it's just you know I don't like you not being able to get around. It's not safe."

"Oh, well I was thinking about buying a car with the money I have saved up. Since I hadn't been planning on going to college my savings were going to go to an apartment and a car, but now that I plan to go to college again I don't know, but I could probably afford something."

I had already looked at used cars that were for sale in the paper and there was a Honda Accord and a Toyota Corolla that I could almost afford. Of course both cars were a long way from being new, but they were still a lot newer than my truck or rather what used to be my truck. I started frowning at the thought of my former truck.

"Bella, you driving an '81 Oldsmobile isn't going to make me feel any better." He said dryly.

"It was an '88...and not even an Oldsmobile." I added defiantly and needlessly since either way the car was older than us and the seven year difference really wasn't much of a difference at all at this point.

"Oh, well then it's practically new." He jested with a beautiful, crooked smile on his face and he made his way over to my door to open it for me.

I stared at his beautiful face for a moment, studying his playful smile and white teeth and the way his smile reached his eyes and made them light up. Our car discussion had been long forgotten when I put my hood up and quickly got out of the car and under Edward's umbrella. I shut the door behind me and when I looked up I could see several people looking at us. I clung to his arm and before we could say anything to each other Alice came running up to us with Jasper following behind getting drenched while she was way ahead of him with the umbrella. He just smiled at her exuberance as he followed. I smiled at her too. If Alice was one thing, it was definitely exuberant and I loved that about her, I guess because I was the opposite.

We walked in together and ignored everyone's whispers. I got a pencil from Edward's locker, but decided to leave my jacket on. Edward had insisted to walk me to the classroom, so we parted ways with Alice and Jasper and once we were at Mr. Smith's room he kissed me on the forehead and I went in. Lucky for me, and perhaps Mr. Smith also, he was already at his desk waiting for me.

I took two quizzes and four bathroom breaks during first period. I still had some other things to complete and my SAT's to schedule, so Mr. Smith sent me down to the guidance counselor's office right before the bell rang.

I sent Edward a text message so he would know where I was. He wasn't supposed to have his phone on, but I had no doubt that he did.

I spoke with the guidance counselor for quite awhile about the SATs and my recently sent applications to every college within driving distance of Harvard. We had discussed my grades, recommendation letters, and even the graduation ceremony. I wasn't sold on going, but it seemed like everyone else thought I should go since it was some ridiculous rite of passage. I was more concerned with everything else going on in my life, but I knew Edward wouldn't want me to miss it, so the plan was if it was ok with my doctor then I would participate.

After I left the guidance counselor's office I went to the nurse's office that was next door. I peeked in to see if she was busy and luckily she was alone.

"Hi, Mrs. Boyle." I said quietly from the doorway.

"Oh, Bella!" She yelled while jumping up from her desk to greet me. She wrapped her arms around me and then pulled back so she could, of course, pat the lucky belly.

"How's the baby doing?"

"Great. Growing well and due at the end of June." I said with a smile. I decided to leave out the male pronouns I usually use since people always question if I'm right or not.

We sat down and began talking about different pregnancy things and of course she had to feel him kick which if I wasn't mistaken I would say that Joey liked to kick people and I said good for him. Mrs. Boyle had known all along, well for the most part, that I was pregnant. I was sick a lot and leaving for doctor appointments, so we had a long discussion in her office one afternoon. I told her I hadn't told my father or the baby's father yet and she agreed to keep my secret. She knew from the doctor notes that I was going to my prenatal appointments and she also made sure I was taking my vitamins. I was doing everything I was supposed to and I was already 18, so she agreed that as long as neither me or the baby were in any danger she would not tell anyone.

She told me that the day the principal had called my father about the eating disorder she was at lunch and by the time she got back it was too late, the call had already been made. I told her it was ok because it wasn't her fault, but I still wished that that call had never been made.

The bell was getting ready to ring for lunch, so I told Mrs. Boyle I would talk to her later and I raced out of the office to find Edward before he went to the cafeteria.

While I was walking towards Edward's locker Mike stepped directly into my path and I had to stop abruptly to prevent running into him.

"Well, long time no see." He thought he was being smooth, but I think I vomited in my mouth a little.

"Yes, well apparently not long enough. Although, the last time I saw you, you were being pummeled by Jake, so at least that part was amusing." I smirked at him and tried to step around him, but he blocked me again.

"Oh, come on why do you gotta be like that?" He said while acting offended and he took a step closer so that there was barely a space between us and then he looked directly down which gave him a straight view down my shirt. "Nice milk bags, Little Mommy."

I was shocked to say the least, but then he leaned in closer until I could feel his stubble against my ear. His hot breath and cheap cologne made my stomach churn and then he whispered. He was so close to me that he was practically leaning on me and I didn't even think about it when I placed my hands on his shoulders and promptly kneed him in the junk, very hard.

I just stood there oddly casual and calm as Mike writhed in pain on the cold floor.

"Bella, don't you ever do anything like that again!" Edward's scolding voice broke me out of my daze and I looked up at him guiltily.

He took a firm grip on my wrist and led me away. I followed without hesitation and carefully stepped over Mike as did Edward. Well, Edward wasn't as careful since I noticed his foot nudge Mike's forehead with a mumbled warning and an exclamation of luck telling him that he wouldn't kick him while he was down from getting his ass kicked by a girl. Once we had rounded the corner he stopped and turned to face me.

"I mean it Bella, if you want to me kick the shit out of that douche I will, but don't do that shit again."

I just looked up and nodded at him which seemed to be good enough because we started to walk again.

Eventually Edward slowed down so that he was walking next to me and his shoulders and facial expression finally relaxed.

"So, how's your day been?" He asked with a sigh and I could tell that he didn't want to think about Mike anymore and honestly neither did I.

"Fine. You know, up until now." I motioned with my head towards where, presumably, Mike was still laying. He just shook his head disapprovingly, but didn't speak of it again.

"Alice wanted us to join them for lunch, but I told her there was no way in hell I was eating whatever fish stick, cream corn bullshit they were serving in the cafeteria today, so how about I take you home and we stop by the diner on the way?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." I said with a laugh because I had no doubt that those were his exact words to Alice. "I just have to stop by the restroom first."

We were still hand in hand as we walked down the hallway. He stopped in front of the bathroom and kissed my forehead before I walked in and saw a familiar face looking back at me.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Ang." I said indifferently. We never finished our argument last night, really it was only me who was being argumentative, so nothing had been resolved by the time I hung up on her and then I didn't call back because I was _pre-occupied _with Edward. I smirked at myself just thinking about last night…and this morning.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I was only looking out for you. I know what an effect Edward has on you and I just don't want to see you get hurt again, especially now that your _pregnant_." She put an emphasis on the last part and I saw a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry too, Angela. I wanted to tell you but…well, it's just been complicated." This made me think of Charlie and I frowned a little.

"Yeah, but Edward's the dad, right?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, and he's very supportive and happy. I'm happy too and I trust him."

"Yeah, you guys looked really happy at the mall." She smiled a little thinking about it and so did I. "I only asked about the baby because every time I saw you when you got back you were with Jake and I never got a chance to talk to you then." She eyed me suspiciously because she knew as well as I did that I had been avoiding her.

"Jake is a great friend, but not in a 'with benefits' kind of way." I said with a wink and she just shook her head at me. Clearly, Edward was a bad influence on me.

"Anyway, you know how Edward was" she paused and motioned to the actual stall where she had consoled me while I cried that day that he left with Chelsea. "I'm just glad that he's changed and I promise I'll mind my own business."

I grabbed her and hugged her while mumbling that I accepted her apology and missed her, but I don't think any of it was understandable. I was too emotional for all this sentiment and I had to wipe a few tears off my cheeks.

"Is everything ok in there!?" Edward shouted into the door and we both started laughing.

"Yeah, I was just talking to Angela. I'll be out in a second!"

"Ok, Bella. I'll be right back then."

I hugged Angela one more time and she promised that her and Ben would come over soon so we could all hang out. I ran into the stall before I peed my pants and when I came out to wash my hands I found Chelsea standing at the sink mirroring my shocked expression. Now, I was just wishing that I had peed at the damn diner because at this rate I was never gonna get out of here to have lunch with Edward.

She just stood there and silently stared at me, so I took it upon myself to be the mature one and speak first.

"Hey Chelsea, Edward told me that you and him had a good talk yesterday and I'm glad."

"Yeah, I'm glad, too. I'm going out with a really nice guy and I really think the two of you are great together.

"Thanks, Chelsea."

"Hey Chelsea, we were looking for you and…" Her friend, the same loud whisperer that I had yelled at during lunch _that_ day, had come in to find her and once she saw me she stopped instantly.

"Oh, hey Bella. I guess you weren't kidding when you said you were friends with Edward." She said while she laughed and pointed towards my stomach. I instinctively put a protective had on my belly and scowled at her.

"Quit being a bitch, Vicki. She's Edward's girlfriend, so quit trying to make her sound bad."

"Whatever, I'm not going to stand here and let you make me feel stupid when you're the one being stupid!" Vicki stormed out and Chelsea yelled back at her.

"Yeah, stupid like a fox!" Then she turned back towards me. "Don't worry about her, Bella, she's just self-defecating."

"She's what?"

"You know, self-defecating. She puts herself down all the time."

She was being completely serious and I had to stifle my laugh. I just nodded and she continued.

"So, I'm gonna go eat lunch, but I'm glad we talked and congrats on the baby." She said sincerely and I just wanted to run out of the bathroom before another crazy person walked in which if I took any longer would probably be Edward.

"Oh yeah, I hear there are fish sticks today." I said trying to sound funny, but really it was just the way Edward said it that made it sound funny.

"Oh, I brought my lunch because I'm a veterinarian." She held up her salad and I was glad because I would have been fearing for puppies and kittens town wide if she hadn't cleared that up for me.

"Good for you." I said trying to sound supportive and I gave her a thumbs up. She just gave me an oblivious smile and left.

I finally raced out of the bathroom and straight into Edwards arms.

"Ugh, I'm so glad to be with you again. I've missed you all day." I mumbled into his shirt.

"I've missed you too. Hey, are you ok because if Chelsea gave you any shit we can tell Alice. She's been dying for a reason to punch her in the face."

"No, she was actually very nice. And funny."

"Oh, I didn't realize she had a sense of humor."

"I don't think she does, but her poor vocabulary is hilarious."

"I'm surprised you find hilarity in stupidity, Bella."

"Well, I don't ordinarily, but something about her calling herself a veterinarian and saying that her friend self-defecating is so funny." I was laughing again and I wasn't even watching where we were going. I just leaned against him and walked as he led me out of the building.

"Well, she is for sure _not_ a veterinarian, but you never know about Vicky."

I was laughing so hard by the time we got to the car I thought I was going to pee myself, luckily I had already emptied my bladder.

"So, do we still have time to have lunch?"

"Sure, Bella. I know you don't like it when I miss school, but I went back at your insistence yesterday, so I thought maybe today I could just spend the rest of the day with you." He looked over at me hopefully.

"That actually sounds perfect." I said with a sigh and laid my head on his shoulder.

He stopped by the diner to pick us up lunch because I had the biggest craving for blueberry waffles even after he insisted that it wasn't a lunch food and really not much of a food at all.

In the end I won and here we sit in the kitchen eating our lunch and watching something on the small television that sits in the corner. I couldn't really tell what daytime, rerun crap it was because my mind was elsewhere.

"So, you were in the bathroom for a long time; I was really starting to get worried." He said breaking the silence and then took a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, I had an argument with Angela yesterday, but we talked about it and everything is fine now."

"Oh, is that who you were talking to on the phone last night?"

"Yeah, we didn't finish our conversation last night, but now everything is resolved. Oh, and I invited her and Ben over, I hope that's ok."

"Sure it is. I already told Angela it would be nice for her to come over."

"I was actually thinking that it might be nice to have a cookout or something and Sam and Emily could come over and maybe Jake too because I haven't seen him in a long time."

"That would be nice, Bella. Maybe in a few weeks when it gets warmer." He offered and I nodded.

We finished eating and I helped Edward throw our trash away, but I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Someone looks tired." He teased.

"Yes, well someone kept me up all night." I teased back while nudging his arm with mine.

"I remember." He whispered against my neck as he placed soft kisses that gave me goose bumps. "Let's go take a nap, Bella."

"Ok" I thought that sounded like a great idea and I followed him up to the bedroom instantly looking forward to climbing back into bed which was exactly what I did upon entering the room.

"I'm going to change my clothes" Edward said as he went into the closet and I hoped that he didn't expect me to follow because I had no energy and I was definitely using my nap time for an actual nap.

I was half asleep when I heard Edward close the closet door behind him.

"Bella?"

"Yeah" I answered in a groggy voice.

"I have something for you."

I sat up in the bed and rubbed my tired eyes as I looked at Edward standing there.

"What is it?" I asked when I didn't notice anything, but then I saw that Edward's hands were behind his back and he walked closer to the bed until he was right next to me.

"Here, Love" He revealed what he was hiding and I instantly had tears in my eyes.

I was looking at the drawing that I had admired all those months ago. The one that brought us back together even if it was just momentarily. That night had been the darkest and the following months not much brighter and now, now we were in the light; we were full of hope.

"I love it. Thank you."

"It's you Bella, it's always only been you."

He held me in a tight embrace until we eventually laid down, never separating, and fell asleep intertwined with each other.

The drawing had lines of chaos everywhere even in the middle, the brightest part, but it didn't matter because we had made through the darkness alone and now we were together in the light.

**A/N -**

**Sorry if there are mistakes in this chapter, it's unbeta'd, so I will probably be fixing things later even though I read it several times.**

**Milk bags - slang for breasts. I wanted to use something different to add to the offensiveness that is Mike.**

**The whole Edward scolding Bella thing played out a little different in my head because I really wanted him to swat her wrists a few times kind of like how Le Stat scolds Claudia for eating people in their house in Interview with the Vampire, but Betward didn't want to do that.**

***In case you were wondering Chelsea was not in the bathroom when Bella and Angela were talking.**

**Interview -**

**Summer - (standing in the Cullen living room) So, Bella what are you doing?**

**Bella - (sitting on couch) Oh, you know making a baby, picturing Edward doing me on the weight bench, reading a magazine. The usual.*shrugs***

**Summer - So…*rubs hands together and drags foot on ground nervously* So yeah, everyone really wants to know what Mike said to you.**

**Bella - And? *flips page in magazine***

**Summer - And will you tell them?**

**Bella - I can't.**

**Summer - Why not?**

**Bella - You won't let me…duh.**

**Summer - Oh yeah.**

**On a side not I have entered the "AwkWard" contest and I know some of you have already read my one shot (thank you!), but if you haven't and want to check it out it's called "Pissed Off" and it's on my profile.**

**Ok, so those of you that have been with this story from the beginning know that I'm capable of 4 updates in 10 days, I really hope I can get some of my speed back. :)**

**Reviews are better than finally getting an update…I know I'm epic fail :)**


	18. Chapter 18 The Beginnings

**Disclaimer - Edward is not mine, but Betward is.**

**A/N - I love you guys! Everyone waited so patiently for the last update (and this one) and had such wonderful things to say. I will never abandon this story or the wonderful readers it has!**

**Beta Lulu has been very busy with work and her sicky child, so this chapter is un-beta'd. I proof read a lot, but I still miss things. I know Beta Lulu is trying to scale back, so if anyone wants to help beta the last chapters I would appreciate it.**

**The Bet was nominated for a 'Faithful Shipper Award' and even though it didn't make it to final voting I want to thank everyone who nominated/voted. TB was with stories like Master of the Universe and Clipped Wings and Inked Armor, so it was a real honor to be with awesome stories like those and many others.**

**On with the show…**

**Chapter 18**

**The Beginnings **

**EPOV - A Monday in April**

Last week had been a great week of Bella and I just hanging out and being together. School was coming to an end and graduation day was fast approaching. Bella's pregnancy was also coming to an end and the baby would be here soon after graduation. Those were the endings, but going to college, having our baby with us, and being together were the new beginnings. Bella and I would be starting our new life together and I had been thinking a lot about that lately.

I had been really nervous about being a dad; it was never something I had really thought about before. I mean, I guess I did assume that I would be married with kids _someday_, but not as a teenager, but things change and so do plans. I was still really nervous, but so was Bella and I knew she would be a great mom and she would be there for me when I put the diaper on backwards or freaked out about the baby exploding because I couldn't get him to burp or something equally as trivial yet vital at the same time.

One night as we laid awake in bed Bella had made up a game, something she continued to do many nights thereafter. No, not a dirty, sexual game, although maybe after the baby is born, but just weird games that came straight from Bella's quirky head. We played this one where we would think up stupid sayings like "To have one's cake and eat it too" or "In a pickle" or one of the 5 million phrases about birds and then Bella would try to explain it to me. I in turn would defend why I thought each one was stupid and it was a fun time all around. Bella actually did explain the naked as a jay bird thing to me and I personally still think it's stupid

Another night we took turns saying something we would like to do with the baby. Bella said that she was looking forward to taking him to the zoo because it was one of her favorite places to go as a kid and I said that I couldn't wait to teach him how to ride a bike because that was one of my favorite memories with my own dad. That was one of the more fun games and it went on for quite awhile. Bella talked about how next summer he would be old enough to go swimming and to the park. I thought it would be fun to carry him on my shoulders and push him in the swing, but of course that wouldn't be for awhile. I wasn't surprised when Bella said that she wanted to read to him every night at bedtime and I was sad when she said that she could only remember her mom doing that a few times. For the record I hated Bella's mom…still.

The only game we had played that I didn't like was the "what if?" game. What if I had been in the weight room when she came back? What if I had went with her when she wanted to talk? What if I had never left with Chelsea? What if she had told me she was pregnant sooner? What if she just went on that date with me? What if I had used a condom? There were no answers for those questions and we never played that game again.

I was sound asleep until I felt a hot, little hand on my arm and heard my name being whispered in my ear and I knew exactly what it was, or I should say who it was and what she wanted. This had also been going on all week. I had become the official ice cream maker of the third floor.

"Bella, you should just eat your ice cream before bed." I said still half asleep.

"But, I don't want it before bed." She said in a small voice.

"Does it taste better after midnight?" I teased.

"It might" She defended petulantly.

"I think I'm going to get a little refrigerator to put in here." I was being completely serious and hoped I would remember my plans in the morning. "Did you have a nightmare?" I was starting to wake up now and I was getting very concerned. She had had really bad nightmares the first couple of days after the incident with her assface father, but then they stopped or at least I thought they did, but those nightmares were usually the reason why she was up so late at night eating ice cream.

"No, I can't sleep because my back hurts and my feet are swollen and I just can't get comfortable." It sounded like she was getting ready to cry and I felt like an asshole because I could've been back with the fucking ice cream by now.

"I'm sorry." I said pathetically, but I really was sorry.

"It's not your fault. Well, actually it is." She started laughing and I did too because as young as we were, I don't think either one of us could bring ourselves to regret this.

"Ok, so do you want that double-chocolate-fudge-brownie-whatever-the-fuck ice cream?"

She nodded her head furiously and I dragged myself down the stairs. I was extremely thankful that Esme had stocked the freezer full of ice cream. I thought about maybe measuring the cartons to see if they would even fit in the freezer of a little refrigerator because apparently I was too lazy to walk down some stairs.

Tomorrow, or technically today, was Bella's 7 month doctor's appointment. It excited me and frightened me at the same time which was the exact effect that the baby had on me anyway.

Since the appointment was in the afternoon we decided to eat lunch beforehand. I had convinced Bella that I didn't need to go to school for the first half of the day and we made plans to go to the Botanical Gardens that had just opened for the season.

Bella was sitting next to me eating her ice cream quietly and really only spoke when she told me that it would be foolish to have a refrigerator in our room when there was a perfectly good one down stairs. I was just ecstatic that she said "our" room, yes I'm a girl and I know this, so I really didn't push the subject. I already knew it was foolish and lazy on my part, but that wasn't going to stop me. Of course Bella on the other hand, she could stop me.

Once Bella was finished she snuggled up next to me and fell right to sleep. Soon after I fell asleep also, with my hand resting on her stomach.

Several hours later I was literally jolted from my sleep.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" An enthusiastic voice chimed over and over again like an eager child on Christmas.

"Edward, do something before I knock your sister off the bed and then hate myself for it later." Bella groaned.

"Alice, quit bouncing on the bed before you accidentally hurt Bella or she intentionally hurts you."

This stopped her instantly, but didn't prevent her from pouting.

"Bella, remember how we talked about the nursery?" Alice asked with only minimal enthusiasm left.

"Yes, you and Esme can do whatever you like." She mumbled and waved her hand at her dismissively. This was news to me, but then again what could I really contribute to a nursery anyway?

"We fully plan on it, but I thought it would be fun for us to pick out the furniture together and then maybe sometime soon you guys can leave for the day while we paint."

"Sure, Alice we'll pick stuff later, right Edward?"

"Yeah, Love, we'll pick out something nice."

This made Alice happy and she left to get ready for school. As soon as I heard the door shut my arms were back around Bella and we drifted right back to sleep. A couple of hours later I reluctantly got up to take a shower while Bella remained asleep in bed.

When I returned with a towel wrapped around my waist Bella was still in bed, but sitting up and looking at the screen of my laptop.

"Are you looking up porn?" I asked and she jumped at the loudness of my voice in the otherwise silent room.

"What!" Her face shot up and the bright shade of red told me that she had heard exactly what I said.

"Kidding, Bella, I was just kidding." I laughed and she just frowned at me.

"No, I'm looking for baby furniture for Joey. I thought it would be easier to do it this way rather than in the store."

"Yeah, that's a good idea and now's a good time to do it, too while Alice is in school and can't stop you, so she can tag along and 'help'pick something out."

"Yeah, but we _are_ talking about Alice. I wouldn't be surprised if she called and told me to wait for her to get home." She snorted.

Not two seconds later the phone rang and we both froze and stared at each other. I answered it slowly and we both started laughing when we realized it was just my dad calling to check and see if we had left yet for Bella's doctor appointment.

I hung up the phone and sat down on the bed next to Bella. She was under the covers and I remained above, but nestled in close to her feeling the warmth of her arm against mine.

"The view is way better here than at the store." I said while I ran my hands over her bare shoulders and grazed the sides of her breasts.

"Yes, I would have to agree." She said with a smirk while she eyed me sitting there still only adorned by a white towel.

I leaned closer to her letting my clammy skin that was still damp and cold from the shower absorb her warmth as I looked at various cribs. I didn't think there could be so many variations of something as simple as a baby bed, but I was obviously wrong.

"What color wood do you think, Edward?"

"Um" was all I could say. It sounded like a trick question although I knew it wasn't, but I still had no idea. There was every shade of wood known to man and some that were painted white, blue, or pink. I really had no idea.

"There's no right or wrong answer." She laughed.

"I know there's just so many." I didn't really know because if it had been Alice, the only female I was really accustomed to shopping with, there most definitely would be a wrong answer and it would've been anything that came out of my mouth.

"I don't like the painted ones?" It came out like a question, but she just smiled and patted my arm reassuringly.

"I don't either. I kind of like a darker wood, maybe cherry?"

"Yes, I think that would be nice." I said because the pictures of different cribs of that color in various themed nurseries did look nice.

"I like this one, but it's awfully expensive." She said with a furrowed brow.

She had a very nice one chosen that said it was sleigh style and I could've told her that Alice spent that much on one outfit, but I doubt that would've been news or reassuring to her.

"Bella, it's really not that bad. We want to get one that's safe of course and he'll be using it for a long time. Look it says right here it changes to a toddler bed and then a regular bed."

"Oh, well that is true." She nodded thoughtfully. "Do you think we should order it?"

"Yes, we may not get another chance to order the one we like. Besides the baby will be here soon, so we shouldn't wait any longer." She nodded in agreement. "Why don't you go take a shower and I'll have it shipped to the house."

"Thanks, Edward." She said quietly and kissed my cheek before she crawled out of the bed.

I still sat there in my towel holding the laptop because I didn't want to waste the time I had while Bella was in the shower. Bella just thought I was ordering the crib, but I ordered the matching dresser, a rocking chair, and the changing table. I didn't really know what I was doing, but the baby furniture company in its infinite, marketing wisdom had all of the pieces grouped together, so I just ordered what I saw in the picture.

I quickly put my credit card away and proceeded to get dressed. By the time Bella got out of the shower I had two bowls of cereal waiting for us on the kitchen island. Not exactly a gourmet breakfast, but still better than the burnt eggs and black toast that probably would've resulted had I tried to cook a 'real' breakfast.

Bella put some fruit in her cereal bowl and we ate quietly, talking about our plans for the day only briefly.

We drove talking mostly about the doctor's appointment. Bella was excited that the baby would be born soon. She said that she was just so excited to see what he looked like and what he would be like. She usually did waiver between excitement and pure nervousness, but we were the same in that way and I agreed with her while she spoke animatedly.

"So, you don't mind that I told Alice that she and Esme could decorate the nursery do you?"

"No, of course not, besides we got to pick the furniture and Esme loves to decorate and Alice loves to coordinate and shop, so I know they will get more enjoyment out of it then we would and I'm sure it'll look very nice for Joey." I pulled her hand to my mouth and kissed it.

"That's kind of what I thought." She smiled back at me.

"Would you like to go for a picnic next weekend? If the weather cooperates of course." I had been thinking about it for a long time and it felt like the perfect time to go.

"Yes, that would be great. Where would we go?"

"Well, there's a place on the property that's just beautiful. I used to go there all the time when we first moved here. It was a great place to just think."

"You didn't like it here when you first moved?" She asked genuinely curious.

"No, I just didn't adjust well after my mother's death." I said sadly.

"Oh, you mean when your father re-married too, don't you?" Damn she knew me too well. I gave a little nod because there was no use in denying it. "Why though. I mean, I can't imagine how hard it was for you to lose your mother, but Esme doesn't really seem like the wicked step-mother type."

"She's not, Bella." I said quietly because I had never talked about this to anyone before. "It wasn't her I had a problem with…it was my father."

"Your father?" She asked shocked.

"Yes, he remarried so quickly and it was almost like he was seeing her before…you know, before my mom actually died. And even if that wasn't the case it still seemed like cheating to me considering the insulting amount of time he took to grieve."

"Do you know how they met?"

"No, I never asked or cared to hear those details at the time." None of those things mattered and after I had made an ass of myself at dinner one night ranting about a prenuptial agreement I just ignored Esme altogether. "Wait. Do _you_ know how they met?"

"Yes, but it's really not my place to say. You should talk to your father or even Esme."

"Hmm" Was my only response because I didn't want to talk to them about this shit and I didn't want to argue with Bella even though I thought she should just fucking tell me.

"People grieve in different ways." She said quietly and I let it go because it wasn't worth arguing about. Getting married so soon just seemed disrespectful to me, but it had been a long time ago and I knew I needed to let go of the useless anger I held on to.

We arrived silently and had two hours to look around the horticulture gardens and have lunch. I didn't let the somber topic we had discussed in the car taint my good mood about spending the day with Bella.

The restaurant in the Botanical Gardens was very nice and we were able to sit by the large fountain in the center of the dining room which made Bella smile beautifully. Bella ordered a chef salad and then pointed her finger at me before I could protest. I noticed that there was some meat in the salad, so I just shrugged innocently like I wasn't going to say anything anyway, but we both knew I was. I ordered a club sandwich and fries and watched Bella toss some pennies in the fountain when she thought I was still glaring at the waiter for staring down her shirt.

"What did you wish for?"

"Maybe I didn't wish for anything." She said coyly, but I had seen the look on her face, it's the one she uses when she concentrates really hard on something and I knew that she had.

"Maybe not, but I know you did."

"I wished for world peace and for you to stop bothering me."

"In that exact order I hope." I teased her because I knew she was teasing me.

She just rolled her eyes at me and I could tell that she was more amused than annoyed. Soon after that the waiter came back with our food and I was glad that he was too busy to ogle _my_ Bella. When I looked up I noticed that she had gotten all happy again because the radishes in her salad were cut to look like flowers. I tried not to laugh at her when she set them aside and was more than a little hesitant to eat them because honestly they really were cool looking.

"I love to see you smile." I said to her as she gave her radishes one last look before eating them.

"That's good because you make me smile all the time." She gave me a dazzling smile to prove it.

We spent the rest of the time after lunch walking around and looking at the different flowers and plants. I was excited to show Bella The Cactus House because I thought it would remind her of Phoenix and I assumed that would be a good thing.

"It's weird being in here." She said as soon as we walked in and I instantly regretted making such an assumption.

"Oh?" Yes, I'm utterly brilliant.

"Yeah, it's just like the desert in here, but outside it's one of the rainiest places known to man. It's just funny." She laughed and I began to relax.

"I was hoping you would like it." I said while pulling her closer and kissing her a few times on the neck.

"I think I would like nearly anything with you close to me, especially if you keep doing _that_." She smirked at me while I kissed her one more time.

We were able to see most of the gardens with their beautiful fountains and greenhouses before it was time to leave for Bella's appointment. We had even taken a break and sat on one of the wooden bridges that went over a coy pond even though there were plenty of benches scattered around. I think the bridges, or maybe it was the fish in the ponds they were over, were Bella's favorite. She had stared at the pond with it's clear water and floating lily pads for awhile and it was serene to just sit and watch the fish swim or just idle in the shallow pond. There was actually some sunshine and a cool breeze that felt nice. We didn't speak, there was really nothing to say, and we just sat there and enjoyed the moment until it was time to leave.

While waiting for the nurse to call us back, I found myself more nervous than I was earlier, even more nervous than I had been last time, the only time, I was here.

I wondered if Bella was more calm having had more time to come to terms with things, but after reading an article in the pregnancy magazine, that I was for some reason reading, I wasn't so sure. I saw words like 'dilation' (which was accompanied by a picture chart, no thank you) and 'contractions' and realized that I didn't have much to be nervous about in comparison. The thoughts were making me restless and my foot bounced anxiously from where it was perched on my knee. I kept looking at the magazine although I had quit reading it awhile ago.

"Edward, are you ok? Maybe you should go grab that car magazine."

"No, I'm fine." I gave her an uneasy smile and she remained giving me a skeptical look in return.

"Isabella Swan" The nurse called.

Oh, thank God. I didn't want to sit there a second longer especially considering the room was becoming very full with very pregnant women.

The nurse weighed Bella and took her blood pressure and whatever else while I stood there and tried not to look useless. Finally, we were left in the room to wait for the doctor and Bella changed into the paper gown while I tried not to watch and then she sat on the table with a huff.

"Are you feeling ok?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around her and remained standing in front of her.

"Yeah, I'm fine just a little tired." She said as she turned and laid down.

I sat next to her in a chair and avoided picking up one of the magazines that taunted me with their horrible facts. Eventually the doctor knocked and walked in with the same cheerful mood she was in last time.

"Good afternoon, you guys." She greeted us as she washed her hands in the sink.

"Hi, Dr. Lisa." We both said.

"I'm glad you were able to make it back, Edward." I wasn't sure what to say, so I just nodded. "So, Bella how are you doing?"

"Good. Big."

"Well, you're not _that _big." She said while looking in the chart and Bella opted to not argue.

"I'm just very uncomfortable. My back hurts and I'm sure my feet are huge even though I can't see them most of the time and I'm being beat up from the inside."

"Yes, those are all very common complaints towards the end of pregnancy. Just make sure you're getting plenty of rest and drinking a lot of water. You don't want to get dehydrated. "

Bella nodded and I just listened. I held Bella's hand again when the doctor did the pelvic exam and checked the baby's heartbeat. The doctor was writing down the information in Bella's chart when she started talking again.

"So, I see that you haven't had an ultrasound done yet, so I'm going to have you schedule one for when you come back." Bella's eyes got really big, but she didn't respond.

"Everything is fine, but I'd like to check the weight of the baby and make sure everything else looks good developmentally. Don't worry it's just routine." She handed me all of the paperwork that detailed the process.

"So, did you have any other questions, Bella?"

"No, I think you've already answered all my questions." She said with a big smile.

"Yes, I suppose so. I guess I should ask you, Edward. Do you have any questions?"

"I um…" I had been pretty much invisible up until this point. "I guess I don't know enough to know what I don't know."I just shrugged and she laughed in return.

"You know what?" This was rhetorical because she didn't pause. "We have a child birthing class here that starts next week that is for young parents it would be a great thing for the two of you to attend." I didn't know what to say because I got really nervous all of a sudden. This would be like one of those pregnancy magazines come to life.

"That would be great! I think that would really help us." Bella said enthusiastically, but then she gave me a worried look like maybe I didn't want to go and she had spoken too soon. I didn't want to go, but I'm sure I would probably benefit the most from it, so I just smiled and nodded and Dr. Lisa added our names to the list.

I was handed more papers and eventually after Bella was dressed, had her iron checked, and the next appointments were set we were out the door. We were both exhausted, although I'm sure Bella was more so, and we didn't say much on the drive home. She rifled through the papers some and I was kind of looking forward to the baby class or whatever Dr. Lisa called it. My rationale was that maybe if I learned more I wouldn't be so nervous.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?"

"Oh, I was just thinking about the baby class. I think I will learn a lot. Well, I know I'll learn a lot because I really don't know that much."

"Yeah, well I'm reading over all the topics we'll be discussing and I feel like _I_ don't know that much."

"Oh, don't be silly, Bella. I would be terrified that I would put the diaper on the baby's head if I knew you wouldn't be there to stop me." I smiled at her and rubbed her arm, but she didn't seem to gain much resolve.

"I'm going to make a list and notes." She said in a determined voice as she pulled out a pen and scribbled all over the papers the whole way home.

After I pulled into the driveway, turned off the car, and took my seatbelt off I just sat there for a minute listening to Bella's pen scratch furiously across the paper.

"Bella, we're home." I said quietly and she looked up and gave me a big smile. She nodded before gathering up her pile of papers and after I opened her car door for her she followed me into the house.

I could smell Esme cooking something in the kitchen, but we went straight upstairs.

Bella plopped down on the bed with a big sigh and kicked her shoes off, quite literally, as they flew across the room. She spread out on the bed, but just held the papers in her hand and then turned and smiled at me.

"Edward, will you please get me some water? I'm so tired."

"Yeah, sure." I kissed her on the forehead and then made my way downstairs.

Esme had asked me about the appointment and I told her about it quickly before I ran back upstairs. I knew Bella would smile at me when I walked in the door and I was looking forward to seeing her face even though we had just spent all day together, even thought we spent most of our days together, aside from school. I didn't think there would ever be a minute, or even a second, I spent away from her that I wouldn't miss her.

She did get a huge smile and swiped the water out of my hands and then drank most of it practically at once. I scolded myself for letting her get so thirsty especially when the doctor hand specifically said to drink plenty of water. Of course I would do much better if she would just let me order a fridge for our room.

I laid down on the bed next to her and she instantly gravitated closer to me. I loved how she did that, it wasn't even like she had to think about it or act upon it; it just was the natural occurrence. Like a magnetic pull.

"Let me know if you need anything else. I don't want you to get dehydrated."

"I know. It was just a long car ride."

"Still…" I let it go there, but if I had been thinking clearly I would have stopped and gotten her something on the way home.

"Ok, Edward." She said as she stroked my arm and I felt like motherfucking purring. Ok, I have officially hit the height of my pussiness. "Really, I'll start drinking out of the bathroom faucet before I dehydrate, ok?" She joked.

"That wouldn't be necessary if you would let me get a fridge for our room then there would be all kinds of stuff right there." I said as I pointed to the corner of the room.

"Let?" She smirked at me.

"Well, yeah. I'm not going to get it if you don't want me to." I'm not stupid enough to piss her off over something as stupid as a mini fridge.

"That's nice, Edward, and it's nice that you want to make things easier, but I think it's a waste of money and electricity."

"I didn't realize that you were so concerned with the Earth's finite resources."

"Well, everyone should be and besides in a few months I will be running up and down the stairs again."

"Yeah, but we could put the baby's bottles in there. Think of the convenience of that at 2am." Yeah, I thought of that shit because I was already getting woke up at 2am.

"Oh…" She grabbed one of the papers and looked back up at me. "Maybe we should talk about this list now." She said.

"Mini refrigerators are on the list?" I asked completely dumbfounded.

"No, bottles are and…not bottles."

"Not bottles as in breasts. I'm dumb about this shit, but I'm not _that_ dumb."

"I know it's just that there's all this stuff we haven't talked about." She exclaimed as she held up several papers.

"It's fine, we'll talk about it now."

"Ok. I'd like to breastfeed the baby."

"That's fine with me." I didn't know what else to say as a matter of fact I didn't what else there was to say. I mean they're her boobs and as hesitant I am to admit it, it's what they're for.

"Are you going to be in the delivery room?"

"Well, fuck yeah I am." Where the hell else would I be?

"Ok" She chuckled. "So, you want to cut the umbilical cord?"

"Yes?" I mean that was the dad thing to do right? "Bella, can I please see the list?" I wanted to see what the hell else was on there before she rattled off any more questions.

She handed it to me and I only noticed one of the questions before my eyes stopped on the little image of a family and I stared at it for awhile. It was just a computer generated picture of a mom, dad, and baby, but it was significant for some reason and then my eyes moved and stopped on something else, but my only focus was my thoughts.

"I'm going to go talk to my dad, I'll be right back." I said in a hurried voice.

"Oh, about what?" She asked sounding slightly worried.

This is when I made the mistake of reading the word that my eyes had been looking at.

"Circumcision" I blurted out and then felt like kicking myself.

"Oh, ok. That was something on my list anyway."

"Good, we'll talk about it when I get back." Fuck, I did want to talk about that shit when I got back. I gave her hand a little squeeze and then left the room quickly.

I went to my dad's study and knocked softly on the door. I wasn't entirely sure that he was even home yet.

"Come in" He called out.

I opened the door slowly and took a deep breath before I went in.

"Oh, hello Edward. How did the appointment go?"

"It went fine. Bella will have her first ultrasound next month and we're going to go to a childbirth class, but I think it will be good because I don't really know anything." I blurted out.

"Well, that sounds good. I'm glad to hear it." He said as he laughed slightly.

"Dad, I have something I want to ask you, but there's something important I want to talk to you about first."

**BPOV**

I was double checking my list and making sure everything was right, I felt like Santa Claus which was fitting because we probably wore the same size of pants.

I wasn't sure what got Edward all antsy about circumcision. I mean, sure if you're a guy I suppose you can get antsy about that, but I wouldn't think this much. It wasn't even something I was going to bring up. I was going to wait until after it was discussed in class and go from there, but I guess he wanted his dad's opinion since he is a doctor and everything, I suppose it makes sense. Everything on the list had been swirling around in my head and my eyes were starting to hurt, so I closed them.

I must've dosed off because the next thing I hear is a drawer shutting and I looked up to see Edward standing across the room.

"Hey, I must've fallen asleep." I said groggily.

"That's ok. I had a good talk with Carlisle. Sorry, it took me so long."

Before I could get a response out of my mouth it was covered by his soft lips. He kissed me slowly and passionately. I could feel my heart accelerate as I kissed him back. My fingertips were barely grazing his cheek and his hand had burrowed its way under my hair and was now cradling the back of my head. I'm not sure how long the kiss lasted; time was immeasurable. I could only feel what seemed to be the unspoken message that Edward was trying to tell me. We had kissed passionately many times, although more chastely as of late, but this was different. I returned his kiss with everything I had, telling him I felt the same.

We were interrupted when dinner was ready and we begrudgingly went down to the dining room. We were all there, including Jasper who said he wouldn't miss taco night for the world. We talked briefly about the doctor's appointment and the upcoming ultrasound. Alice wanted to go with us, but Carlisle talked her out of it by saying that they make a video of it that we could all watch it together later. Surprisingly, she surrendered rather quickly.

**EPOV**

I didn't say much during dinner. I busied myself by ripping up my taco and eating it in small pieces just so I could be alone in my thoughts. Every once in awhile I would look up and my eyes would meet with Esme's and she would give me a small, but reassuring smile that I would uncontrollably return. I hadn't realized what a constant force Esme had been in my life, despite the fact that I had completely shut her out and resisted everything about her, she had still been there for me and she was now there for Bella, too.

I was still thinking when I noticed that everyone else had finished and was leaving the table. Bella wanted to take a bath before bed because she thought it would help her sleep. I kissed her on the forehead before she headed upstairs. Alice left to take Jasper home, which was a poor excuse so they could have a make-out detour, and Dad had to take a call from the hospital. This left just Esme and myself at the table, so I started gathering the dishes.

"I can get this. Don't worry about it, Edward." She tried to wave me away.

"I'm _not_ worried about it. I want to help." I said simply and she didn't protest any further.

We went back and forth from the dining room to the kitchen, scraped plates into the trash can, and loaded the dishwasher. There was no small talk, only the sounds of silverware scraping on plates and running water. The silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable; it was actually quite the opposite. Esme and I had talked a lot lately. I would ask her questions about pregnancy and Bella and she would always help me out just like she did that night with the flowers or by getting seven different kinds of ice cream whenever she went grocery shopping. When I was finished I told her goodnight and then made my way upstairs.

When I entered our room Bella was sitting on the bed in her pajamas combing her hair. I probably should've been upset that she had chosen my pillow to drip water all over, but I couldn't find it in myself to be bothered by something so trivial. I almost laughed to myself realizing how much I had changed, how much Bella had changed me. She looked up and her brown eyes locked with mine and she gave me a tired smile.

"Did you talk about _things_ with your dad?"

"I did."

"And you feel better?"

"I do."

"Good"

Neither one of us elaborated or discussed it any further and after a silent moment I made my way into the bathroom. I hurried to get ready for bed because I only wanted to feel Bella next to me and I was rather hasty in my dental hygiene practices to achieve that goal faster.

I cuddled next to her in the dark and was thinking about everything that had happened today. It had been a great day with Bella, as most were, but I was dwelling on my conversation with my dad. I smiled just thinking about it.

"So, Bella?"

"Yeah"

"Alice and Esme are going to paint on Saturday, do you still want to go on that picnic?"

"Yeah, that would be great." She whispered and then fell right to sleep. It only took a couple of minutes of listening to her rhythmic breathing before I followed.

A few hours later the most ironic thing in the entire fucking world happened. I woke up, looked at the little, red digits on the clock, and wanted ice cream. Bella was sound asleep with her hair splayed out on the pillow with a peaceful look on her face.

I crept out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. The dim light over the sink was on and when I walked in I heard someone yelp.

"Edward, you scared me!"

"Sorry, Esme." I mumbled and made my way to the freezer

I rifled through all the different flavors until I found one that had Girl Scout cookies in it. How fucking genius is that? I gathered everything I would need and dropped it down on the island. Esme was sitting not far away from me on the opposite side and I could see her dig her spoon into a chocolate ice cream.

"So, the ice cream was calling to you too?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Yes" She admitted while she shoveled a big scoop in her mouth. "And Bella too I see."

"No, she's sound asleep, but I guess I'm down here out of habit. Well, that and I guess I'm finally giving in to all this damn ice cream we have." It was true. I always just got Bella ice cream, but tonight I felt like stuffing my face with it.

I filled the bowl with several scoops of ice cream and didn't even bother putting away the container before I sat down on the stool next to Esme and started digging in.

"Mmmm, so good." I mumbled.

"If you think that's good you should try this, it's moose tracks."

I dug my spoon into her bowl because really who could turn down something with a name like that and it was fucking good. She then dug her spoon into mine and agreed that mine was pretty good too.

I guess ice cream in the middle of the night wasn't as overrated as I had made out to be, although I don't know if I was going to admit that any time soon. After I was thoroughly stuffed I started cleaning up my mess and Esme was rinsing everything in the sink as I put the ice cream away.

I hopped up on the counter next to where Esme was standing in her pink robe and just sat there for a minute.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Edward." She said as she dried her hands on a dish towel.

"What should I pack for a picnic? I'm taking Bella out on Saturday for a picnic and I want it to be really special. You know, more special than peanut butter sandwiches." I said with a sigh.

"Ok, I'll think of some really good things and let you know." She patted me on the knee and smiled. I instantly felt better about the whole thing. "So, you're taking out while we paint?"

"Oh yeah, I wouldn't want her around all those fumes." I said absentmindedly, but I was still thinking about the picnic.

"Yeah, and Alice is thinking about getting an extra lock for the door just to keep you guys from peeking." She laughed, but I doubt she was joking.

"Oh, I guess I should warn you that I ordered the furniture for the nursery, so don't be surprised when several large boxes arrive and there's one pissed off little Alice."

"Edward" She said in a scolding tone. "What did you do? I think Alice wanted to help pick it out and what about Bella?"

"No, Bella picked it out and I liked it too and I also liked that we didn't have to be dragged to 50 million stores to do it either we just ordered it online." And not to mention Bella was half naked next to me, but I would definitely not mention that.

I told her how much Bella had liked it and how nice it looked in the picture and that I knew Bella would be happy that I ordered the whole set. Well, maybe not happy right away because she saw the prices, but when she saw Joey's nursery she would be happy.

"Oh, that's so sweet!" Esme said and enveloped me into a hug. She was definitely a hugger, but lately it didn't really bother me and I always hugged her back. "You did a good job, Edward." She whispered in my ear and I got a big smile on my face.

"Thanks, Mom"

**A/N – **

**DUN DUN DUN**

**That totally wasn't the way I planned to end, but the other day that conversation played out in my head and the whole mom thing just slipped by accident in my mental dialogue, so I went with it. It was gonna happen sooner or later anyway :)**

**Check out a picture of the radish flowers and Edward's painting from last chapter on my profile.**

**About Edward's painting/drawing – I know those of you that have seen the pic were surprised and really I picture it a little different myself, but that gives you the basic idea.**

**The Edward/Carlisle confab will come out later.**

**There is Girl Scout cookie ice cream and it is fucking genius. **

**Ok, so I have lots of outtakes in my head and I really want to do chapter 1 in BPOV, but that sort of thing doesn't come cheap. So, I'm hoping we can hit 1,000 reviews by the time this crazy story is over. As soon as we do, I will post that shit! I love bribery :)**

**I get 2 weeks off from school, so I will try to get as much done of TB as I can!**

**I love hearing from long time readers and newbies alike, show me some love the end is near! **

**Reviewers will get a teaser!**


	19. Chapter 19 The Picnic

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight.**

**A/N – I love all the readers, you guys are great!**

**I know I need to quit saying when I'll update because I am constant fail, but in my defense I've gotten no sleep and my anxiety has been through the roof because some douche bag has been banging on my windows at night for weeks. Crazy, huh? Well, anxiety induced insomnia does not promote good writing…just sayin'. **

**New Beta will be starting next chapter, so big thanks to coffee-for-closers!**

**Anyway, on with the show!**

**Chapter 19**

**The Picnic**

_**Previously on TB - EPOV**_

"_Oh, that's so sweet!" Esme said and enveloped me into a hug. She was definitely a hugger, but lately it didn't really bother me and I always hugged her back. "You did a good job, Edward." She whispered in my ear and I got a big smile on my face._

"_Thanks, Mom"_

**EPOV**

It took me a second before I realized what I had said because it had just come out. It was the natural response. I had felt it in my heart and it just flew out of my fucking mouth. I didn't have to think about it or force it like when I told Esme what we were naming the baby, I had paused to give it thought and then got all nervous. This was how it was supposed to be said, if it was going to be said at all. Esme hugged me a little extra hard for a second and then kissed me on the cheek before she left the kitchen sniffling and rubbing her eyes conspicuously.

I just shook my head and went back to bed. Of course ten minutes later I was back in the kitchen making a bowl of ice cream for Bella.

Sleep was fleeting, but that wasn't the real reason why I didn't want to leave for school the next morning. School wasn't somewhere that anyone particularly _wanted _to be, hence truancy officers, but I never wanted to be anywhere that was away from Bella, so that made my disdain for school grow even more. All of the asshats that also attended the school didn't help the matter either.

The whole school had been abuzz about Bella and I for a couple of weeks now, not that I gave a shit, but it was getting really fucking annoying. Tanya kept trying to get me to talk to her and that skank Jessica kept running her mouth about something that her mom shouldn't have told her. I just wanted it to be Saturday already. It was my mantra _Saturday, Saturday Saturday_….fuck, I was putting all my hope into something that was uncertain, but I couldn't help it. It got me through the fucking day, so there was really nothing else I could do, but have faith, oh and repeat my mantra. I suppose I was counting my chicks before they were hatched (yes, that's another fucking bird saying), but I couldn't help it and so it continued.

_Saturday, Saturday, Saturday _

I was sitting in the library holding an open book and staring at it, which resembled the act of reading for anyone who was watching, and lately there was _always_ someone watching. This place reminded me too much of Bella to be able to concentrate enough to actually read this boring ass book and when I looked up I noticed that Tyler was staring at me in much of the same way that everybody had been recently and it just further agitated me.

"What the fuck, Crowley? You want to talk about my pregnant girlfriend or your penchant for dudes?" I snapped without thinking about it first.

Everyone around us started giggling and I almost felt bad…almost. I never gave Tyler shit for being gay, because I didn't fucking care. I mean sure that shit kind of weirded me out, but Tyler was a hell of a ball player and I respected him on that level, but he was kind of a pain in the ass (pun noted, but not intended) he was irresponsible and my annoyance with him didn't have anything to do with his gayness.

The day continued in much of the same way with me telling Skank Face that she should go douche and S.T. that she should get a sports bra, or two, after that no one talked to me for the rest of the day. Thank God for small miracles.

I was desperate to get home even though I was swamped with homework and so was Bella. Our evenings were consumed with it and we were left with little time for each other. We barely had time to even talk, but we really didn't need to have a bunch of idle chatter to make ourselves feel good. Being close to one another was enough.

Holding her at night was something that I never took for granted and I hoped that I never would. I wouldn't let myself forget, no matter how much I wanted to, the pain I had felt here every night when she was gone. Seeing her face before I fell asleep and seeing it again as soon as I woke up was nothing short of a miracle and I knew without a doubt there was no one else for me.

The rest of the week had gone by as same shit different day and when I woke up on Saturday morning I almost shouted "Saturday, Saturday, Saturday!", but I was able to exercise what little self restraint that I had left and remained quiet.

I peered out the window to see the sun shining and was so fucking thankful because it had rained like a motherfucker all week.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty." I said as Bella stirred awake. "It looks like we're going to have perfect weather for our picnic."

"That's good. I was afraid we were going to have to do something else and I'm really looking forward to spending time with you." She said with a sleepy smile.

"I know, Love. I've been really looking forward to it too." That was the understatement of the fucking century. I climbed back on the bed just to kiss her before I had to leave and get groceries with Esme.

"Ok, you get ready and I'm going to go get our food ready." I kissed her one more time and left before I gave up and spent the whole day in bed with her. Ordinarily that would be an awesome idea, but today that wouldn't do for my plans at all.

I was walking around the grocery store with Esme and I had a very stupid smile on my face as I remembered the night that I had found Bella here. It could've bummed me out thinking about it because I was at a really low place then and shit was really fucked up that I would even have to find her at the fucking grocery store when I knew that I should've been with her all a long, but today wasn't the day to dwell on that shit. I regained my smile and continued on my merry way. I wondered for a moment if that douche bag manager was here, but quickly dismissed the thought because today was not the day for telling off dickhead managers either. I continued to follow aimlessly as Esme pushed the cart.

We entered the produce section and I saw the bright, red color of the strawberries which of course reminded me of Bella. "Oh, these look good!" I said as I grabbed a container and started examining the contents as if I really knew what I was looking for.

"That's something good for a picnic." Esme said nicely.

I noticed that directly next to the strawberries there were containers of chocolate specifically for dipping said strawberries into and I knew this because the illustration on the package clearly depicted this purpose. I grabbed one, even though it was highly overpriced, and threw it into the cart. The same baby furniture marketing geniuses must be in on this chocolate-strawberry-highway-robbery.

Esme grabbed the ingredients for some fancy ass finger sandwiches that she said were always popular at the garden parties she goes to and I just nodded because I don't really pretend to understand the goings on at those bored, rich wife parties. One thing I did know was that Esme is a hell of a cook, so I trusted her as she threw a bunch of random shit into the cart, or at least to me it was random shit.

It seemed to take forever, but finally after being all over the grocery store, making it through the checkout line, and me giving the manager a dirty ass look we were on our way home to prepare all of this shit and I couldn't wait. I had waited all fucking week and I was anxious to finally be in the meadow. If I didn't want it to be fucking perfect I would've gotten happy meals and been done with it, but Bella deserved better than that.

In the kitchen Esme had me seasoning, stirring, and cutting. She was just there to point me in the right direction which was what I wanted. I was acting like a two year old wanting to do it all by myself. Although, after I had mutilated a few of the sandwiches trying to decrust them, Esme took that task over and when they were done I had to hand it to her the sandwiches were perfect. They were all little and crustless which seemed like something that Bella would fucking love.

The picnic basket and the cliché red and white checkered blanket were ready and waiting on the table. I had found that shit days ago and they've been sitting there ever since.

Alice wasn't happy at all when she found out about the baby furniture, but she took it like a champ. Her nostrils flared and her breathing got uneven, but she never lost her composure which is saying something for Alice because she is accustomed to getting her way, but she never overreacted like we all had feared. Although, she did manage to guilt Bella in letting her help pick out the stroller and car seat which is what they were doing now. Bella was glad because she said it was something that was on her list, damn that fucking list, and she convinced Alice to let her pick it online because there would be a bigger variety. I had to hand it to my little Bella; she could handle my sister which is no easy feat.

I had everything ready and I knew this because I checked seven times. I couldn't wait any longer and made my way up the stairs taking three at a time.

She wasn't in our room and I nearly broke my neck trying to get to Alice's room as fast as I could.

"Hey, Boo Boo, you ready for this picnic?" I asked as I knocked on the door.

"Yes, Yogi, give me one minute."

I didn't feel like I could wait one more second, but I did and when she opened the door I forgot all about my impatience if only for a second.

"Wow, Bella you look beautiful." She looked beautiful every day, but there was something about the way her whole smile lit up her face today that took my breath away.

She had on a plaid shirt that buttoned down the front and some really sexy jeans. Her face had only the slightest amount of makeup on which was good because she didn't need that shit. Not only was she beautiful, but her face was glowing lately. Her brown hair was loosely curled and it reminded me of how it looked the night of _the_ football game.

I kissed her on the forehead because I didn't trust my lips on hers and we started to walk down the hallway. I turned to look back at Alice who was smiling the biggest, cheesiest smile ever and was giving me a thumbs up. I rolled my eyes at her and then wrapped my arm around Bella's waist.

"Did you get the baby stuff ordered?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I hope you like it." She answered nervously.

"Why do I have to like it? I'm not the one that's going to be sitting in it." She just laughed and we made our way out the door.

I was carrying the picnic basket in one hand and the free one was quickly snatched up by Bella's hand which was good because if not it would have been doing nervous, fidgety things right now, so I was glad she was keeping it occupied.

"Let me know if you get tired or anything and we can come back and have the picnic closer."

"It'll be fine. I have my walking shoes on." She smiled at me and I could feel my nerves begin to calm.

Her smile always had that effect on me, like some voodoo magic, but in a good way not in a shrunken head kind of way. We walked leisurely, hand in hand, just enjoying the warm weather and nature. A feeling of calm had washed over me and I felt like everything was going to be fine. I had a huge smile plastered across my face the whole time we walked. It didn't take us very long to get to the meadow and it wasn't until then that I realized what a long time it had been since I was here last. When the trees gave way to the open space full of wildflowers and illuminated by the sun I heard a small gasp from Bella. It seemed so much better than I had remembered it, but I assumed that it had a lot to do with the fact that I now had someone wonderful to share it with.

"Oh wow!" She breathed as she spun around slowly taking everything in. "This place is so beautiful! Thank you for bringing me here, Edward." Her lips crashed against mine and I nearly dropped the basket. She quickly pulled away and I was only glad because I wanted to have our picnic before she starved. Ok, and before I starved too because Esme had swatted my hand with a large spoon when I tried to eat one, or three, of the sandwiches.

"Love, there isn't anyone else I would want to share this with." I said as I ran my hand through her hair and it was the truth.

I had tried to lay the blanket in the middle of the meadow, but Bella adamantly protested saying that it would kill at least a hundred flowers. I wasn't going to argue, so we set up our picnic off to the side under a large canopy of trees.

I was very meticulous in setting everything out. I had gotten red, plastic plates because I thought they looked cool. Oh ok, I thought they matched the blanket, whatever don't judge me.

I placed napkins, they were just white, and forks next to the plates and started serving the food. I took out a drink for each of us and looked up to finally take notice of Bella's big, brown eyes staring back at me.

"This is amazing. It looks great."

"Thanks." I mumbled as I started to get nervous again, but Bella didn't notice because she had already started eating.

"Oh, these sandwiches are really good. What are they?" She asked.

"Water chestnut, cucumber motherfuckers" I said as I put a whole one in my mouth.

"Nice. I can almost picture the recipe card." She chuckled and I realized that I needed to take control of my addiction to the 'f' word, but I had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

"I thought you would like them since they have no crusts and sh…stuff." See, I'm trying.

"You did an awesome job." She patted my leg and I couldn't help but to smile at her.

"Just wait for dessert." I said with a wink which solicited a nice blush from her.

It was peaceful in the meadow as we sat and ate. It was one of those moments that were perfect enough without adding a bunch of unnecessary words. She leaned against me and I leaned against the big tree behind us and we just enjoyed being close to each other without any other distractions for once.

Feeding Bella chocolate covered strawberries was fucking awesome too and I decided the chocolate was well worth its price after she licked some off my finger. I packed it away with the full intention of sneaking it up to our bedroom which I wouldn't have to if there was a refrigerator in it…ok, I'm over it now…maybe.

I had put everything away and we just lay on the blanket together. It was a rather hot day, so it felt really good in the shade. Her head was leaning on my chest and we looked out to all of the flowers. Bella was quiet as she watched a small rabbit hop around looking for something to eat. It was like looking in on something so beautiful, as an outside observer, that it was as if we were looking at a painting and not something that was actually real.

"Hey, I brought something I thought you would like." I said leaning over just enough to reach the basket, but not enough that would cause her to move off of me.

"Oh, binoculars!" She said as she snatched them out of my hands.

"See, I knew you'd like it." I said a little self assured.

"Wow, there are so many birds out here." She said while turning her head back and forth with the binoculars placed firmly over her eyes.

She was now sitting up with her legs criss-crossed admiring all the birds she saw through the binoculars and probably several squirrels too.

"See anything good?" I asked.

"A red-breasted Sapsucker, two Bushtits, and a Hairy Woodpecker" She answered completely serious.

She handed me the binoculars and indeed they were all there, but soon flew away. I handed the binoculars back and she quickly became engrossed in finding something else. I put my hand in my pocket and turned the little box over and over in my hand. I took a deep breath and mumbled some words of encouragement to myself that I think went something like "You are Edward Cullen and you can count your motherfucking chicks whenever you want!"

Bella was still completely fascinated and staring up at the sky. I pulled out the box, scooted up behind her, and wrapped my arms around her. She instantly leaned back and melted into me. My hands stopped shaking and I placed small kisses on her neck before I let my head rest against hers. Her hands eventually fell down and the bird watching was long forgotten.

"Bella?"

Mmm?"

"Bella, I love you more than I thought I could love anybody. Every day I think that I couldn't possibly love you more, but every day I prove myself wrong. I have had so many days without you that I don't care to have one single more. I love waking up to your beautiful face every day and I love kissing your soft lips before I go to sleep every night. It's what I want for the rest of my life. I will love you forever and I never want to be with anyone else. Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?"

I had rotated around her so that now I was in front of her looking straight into her eyes. I held the box in my outstretched hands and opened it slowly. The sun beams that made their way through the small spaces in the leaves hit the diamonds just right and made them sparkle. She looked at it quickly before she closed her eyes tightly. I was surprised that after all the words were out of my mouth she still didn't re-open her eyes. I found myself holding her hand with one of mine trying to make up for the loss of contact when I had moved to face her and rubbed small circles on the back of her hand with the pads of my fingertips.

It had seemed like an eternity, but really it was only a few seconds. Bella's eyes were still tightly shut, but it seemed that there were tears that were trying very hard to make their way out. She began to shake her head back and forth and I felt my heart sink. My hand went limp, but I didn't move it from hers; I couldn't. My mouth went completely dry and my heart, which felt like it had sank to my stomach, was pounding erratically. It was another several seconds that felt like an eternity. I felt like an idiot. Of course she would say no. When has she done the logical thing and ever said yes to me? Never. I shut the ring box with a loud thud that I could feel resonate within me more than I could actually hear the sound.

I closed my eyes too, but I didn't realize that I did until everything went dark and I let out a ragged breath that I didn't know that I was holding. I didn't know what to do or say, but I wasn't really thinking about it or anything else for that matter. If everything hadn't gone eerily silent I probably wouldn't have heard her quiet voice.

"Y-yes."

It was the most beautiful word that I had ever heard in my entire life. A part of me wondered if I had imagined it, that if in my desperate state I had fabricated, forced myself to be able to hear the response that I so desperately wanted, the one word that I had dreamt of hearing all week or maybe my whole life. All of my thoughts and doubt swirled around my head trying to register what was happening and my eyes shot open just in time to see Bella lunging at me which knocked me over. I was flat on my back and she was on top of me, our bodies firmly pressed against each other.

Her fingers were dancing around the buttons of my shirt and her fingertips would briefly touch my skin as they meandered their way down and then back up the middle of my shirt. The sensation coupled with the anticipation, and not to mention a lack of sexy times, made my skin tingle with heat.

We hadn't spoken, not out loud anyway, but I understood what she was saying when she looked at me and when she kissed me and I knew she understood me the same.

After her fingers made an excruciating 27 round trips up and down the row of my buttons her fingers stopped at the top one and wrestled with it for awhile until it came undone.

"My turn" I whispered and undid her top button in return, but in a much faster fashion.

Our eyes were locked; I stared into the endless brown color as we continued one button at a time until there were no more. My hand gently pushed away the sides of her shirt until her stomach was completely revealed.

I ran all of my fingers over her soft skin, brushing down and then back up.

"That feels good. You have very sexy hands." She said quietly, but effectively breaking the silence.

"Thank you. You have very sexy…everything." I smirked at her and she blushed.

"Yeah well, your hands _do_ very sexy things." She said seductively.

"Like this?" I asked as I ran my fingers across the tops of her breasts leaving goose bumps in their wake.

"Um…I was going to say play the piano and paint, but this is good too." She whispered and her eyes closed.

"Mmm, I like to play _on _the piano." I said clearly referencing the fun times we had on my piano.

She shivered a little, but didn't say anything.

"Cold?"

"Uh uh, hot." She said and I nodded in agreement.

"Maybe you should cool off." I smiled mischievously as I lifted her shirt off her shoulders and let it fall.

"Maybe you should, too." She replied in a lustful tone as my shirt was removed also.

The space closed between us after that. She leaned closer to me and I leaned closer to her until we met somewhere in the middle and kissed passionately.

In the past I hesitated unsure of whether or not she wanted to continue and in the past she had hesitated because she was unsure of herself, but now there was no hesitation from either one of us.

I only took a moment to enjoy the sight that was Bella in her lacy bra and underwear before my hands roamed over her soft skin and quickly discarded the bra. The rest of the clothes, hers and mine, came off in a hasty rush.

She hovered over me while I positioned myself in the right place and she slowly lowered herself. It felt so good it almost hurt. It had been awhile, but that didn't matter because I would wait forever for Bella.

The agonizing amount of time that it took for her to make her way all the way down and for me to be completely inside of her only made it that much better. She led the pace and it was slow and passionate. We kissed and my mouth made its way to her neck and up to her ear. Soon she was running her tongue on my neck and practically in my ear. I nearly growled from the intense feelings. I brought my hands up to her breasts and this made her lean back, which gave me an awesome view, and my hands never lost contact with her soft skin.

Her head tilted back and I could see the pale skin of her throat as her back and neck arched back and it almost seemed as if the paleness shined in the sun. I could feel her hair touch my legs until she lifted her head back up and let it fall forward. It was by far the sexiest thing I had ever seen and her eyes exuded passion as she sped up the pace. My hands were on her hips and I tried not to dig my fingers into her flesh but she felt so good that it was sometimes difficult to remember.

She looked down at me and I didn't see the sexiness or the lust in her eyes…just love. She loved me and I loved her. She was going to be my wife and we would be together always.

We had gotten only halfway dressed after we had finished making love, I remained shirtless and Bella only had her bra on and it felt good to lay so close to each other with skin on skin. I didn't think it would be possible for me to feel more content. All of the nervousness I had been feeling was long forgotten as my fingertips swirled around her stomach.

"That feels good." She said quietly as her mouth was right next to my ear. "You and your sexy hands, Edward Cullen." She teased.

"What can I say? This is so much more fun than painting or playing the piano."

"I love it when you the play the piano and I've never seen you paint before."

"Well, we'll just have to remedy that, now won't we?" I said while nuzzling my face into her hair.

"Are you going to paint me another picture?"

"Yes, I'm going to paint _you_ a picture."

"You're going to paint me?" The dislike of the idea was evident in her voice.

"Yes, I want to paint _you_."

"There are much better things to paint than me."

"I'm not going to paint a picture _of_ you; I want to paint _on_ you." I said while emphasizing with the movements of my hands on her stomach.

"Oh" her argumentative tone faded and her expression calmed as she seemed to be somewhat agreeable to the idea. "Well, you have a fairly large canvas to paint whatever you like." She joked.

"Whatever, Bella. It'll look great." I assured her.

"I'm sure it will" She agreed and laid her head back down on my arm.

We were to be out of the house for the majority of the day so Alice and Esme could paint the nursery. We weren't even allowed to see the paint before we left and when Bella asked about the blankets Alice told her not to worry about it. I had put together most of the furniture while Bella sat and watched me. It was the last time we were allowed in the room until the big unveiling. I thought it was ridiculous, but I wouldn't say that around Alice.

Bella was surprised, to say the least, when she saw all the boxes in the guest room. My father and I had moved most of the original furniture to the basement one day while the girls were busy with other things because we knew the baby furniture would be arriving. When we walked in I could see the disapproval on her face, but she knew it was for the baby so she didn't say anything. Or maybe she didn't say anything because she knew it wouldn't do any good, not only would it not get sent back, but she had learned from Alice that there's just no stopping us sometimes.

The first thing I assembled was the rocking chair and she sat there while I did the rest. A few times my dad or Jasper came in to help, but I had preferred to do it by myself. When we were alone Bella would rock back and forth leisurely and we would talk about all different things. She was rather fond of the rocking chair and said several times how much she was looking forward to sitting there with the baby. I was pretty pleased with myself for ordering it not that I really had a clue what I was doing at the time. Once I had finished putting everything together I moved it all to the middle of the room and Bella covered them with large sheets. That was our last contribution to the room as we would be locked out for the next two months.

I was brought back to the present by the sound of Bella's voice.

"Edward?" She asked as she looked up at me with a serious look on her face.

"Yes, Love."

"When do you want to get married?"

"It doesn't matter." I answered without hesitation because it was the truth. I was hoping for sooner rather than later, but right now I was just ecstatic that it was indeed going to happen someday.

She seemed perplexed by my answer, but I merely reached out on the blanket until I felt the little, velvety box that I had dropped right after she said yes and right before all of our clothes were discarded. I opened it with one hand and plucked the ring out. I took Bella's hand that was resting on my chest and after rubbing the pad of my thumb across her hand and her finger; I slipped the ring on and admired the beautiful sight for a moment.

"Yesterday, tomorrow, two years, five years from now…whenever you want to Bella. Although, I really hope you don't want to wait five years." I added that at the end and totally contradicted myself after telling her whenever she wanted to because the more I thought about it the more I leaned towards the yesterday time frame. I would rather make her my wife now because I knew I wouldn't change my mind, so I really didn't see the point in wasting any more time.

"After graduation" She answered with certainty.

"High school or college?" I asked cautiously.

"High school"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course I'm sure. I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything in my whole life. Unless you think that's too soon." Her tone went from confident to unsure in matter of a second.

"Bella, I would marry you right now if I could, right this very second, so no I don't think it's too soon." I kissed her head and she seemed to relax.

"So, May 29th?"

"It's a date, Mrs. Cullen." I got a shiver when I heard the words because I liked them so much and it made it seem that much more real.

The sun was setting and we would have to make our way back to the real world soon. We made sure all of our clothes and our shoes were on before I grabbed the basket and we headed back into the forest hand in hand.

**A/N –**

**Important question was asked about the fucking genius ice cream from the previous chapter. Girl Scout cookie ice cream is Edy's brand and I've seen it at Wal-Mart, Kroger, and Meijer.**

**And for the most important question I get "When is the fucking baby going to be born already, I mean damn there's only a few more chapters left!" Don't worry it will happen before the story is over. It will be the last chapter or if that chapter runs long (which it probably will) the second to last chapter. **

**Boo Boo – Yogi Bear's accomplice in stealing picnic baskets in the cartoon of the same name. Those of you in other countries may not have seen this cartoon plus it's older.**

**The birds in the meadow are all indigenous to Washington state. **

**I have made a playlist for TB. The link is on my profile. If you have any song recommendations please let me know! Also on my profile is a Pic of Bella's undergarments and shirt, just imagine the buttons go all the way down. I think it's tres Bella.**

**Outtakes are posted now, too and I will add more to it later.**

**Reviewers will get a teaser and I will post belly painting pics for next chappie on my profile soon, too.**

**Review if you love meadow sexin'!**


	20. Chapter 20 The Ascent

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, but I do own some cucumber, motherfucker sandwiches.**

**A/N - **

**Congrats to Smiley0124 who won a name cameo that will appear in this chappie!**

**You know the drill. I thank you, I love you, and let's get this show on the road.**

_**Previously on the TB (EPOV) –**_

_She looked down at me and I didn't see the sexiness or the lust in her eyes…just love. She loved me and I loved her. She was going to be my wife and we would be together always._

**Chapter 20**

**The Ascent**

**EPOV**

We walked back into the house just as the sun slipped into the horizon. Everyone scrambled around making themselves look unusually busy all of sudden and we pretended that it wasn't obvious that they had been waiting for us.

Bella and I stopped in the kitchen first and had been standing there, side by side, for a few minutes before Esme turned around and addressed us. I was surprised that she was able to wait that long and she must've scrubbed away half the cucumber that she was holding under the running water before she acknowledged us.

"Oh, there you guys are! Did you have a nice time?" She asked innocently…she was a horrible actress.

"Oh yes, the picnic was absolutely wonderful. Thank you." Bella gushed.

"Well, I was merely the kitchen supervisor, Edward prepared everything." Esme gave me a warm smile and her eyes were bright with pride, which caught me by surprise.

Bella turned and smiled at me and I nudged her arm a little with my elbow. She must've gotten the hint because she held up her hand in front of Esme's face and they both started squealing like a couple of pigs. Then a tornado surged past me, aka Alice, and then there were three squealing pigs.

My dad joined me and stood there silently as we both marveled at the women while they carried on with their chattering. He patted my back and congratulated me wholeheartedly although it was a modest show in comparison to what was going on in front of us, but it was heartfelt all the same. Ever since our conversation the other day there seemed to be a peace and an understanding that had settled over us.

_Last Monday ~ Carlisle's Study _

"_Dad, I have something I want to ask you, but there's something important I want to talk to you about first."_

_He just nodded for me to continue and I did without even taking a seat. _

"_Well, I guess I should start by saying that I have something I want to tell you and that's that I'm sorry. Honestly, I deeply apologize for how I reacted to Esme. It was, it still is sometimes, so hard without Mom especially now that she won't ever know…"_

"_Edward, while I appreciate your apology it really isn't necessary, we've dealt with this a long time ago."_

"_No, nothing was ever dealt with, not by me. I just ignored her and sometimes you, and I have never apologized and maybe I was never even sorry until now, but I am and I just want to put it behind us."_

"_It already is, Son." He said while embracing me."Can I ask what has brought this on?" He said while moving back somewhat so he could look me in the eyes while he asked._

"_I guess I could say it was a long time coming or maybe it's where I am in my own life or it could just be the influence that Bella has had over me. I imagine it's all of those things."_

"_Bella and Esme are very close." It was not a question it was a statement and I nodded in agreement because I knew it was true._

"_They've talked about things." I said._

"_And she has shared these things with you?"_

"_No, she said it wasn't her story to tell."_

_He told me how he met Esme and he described how they were both grieving such a great loss. My father had never shown how miserable he was when my mother was sick or even after she died because he was trying to be strong for us kids, but he didn't have to be strong with Esme he could let out his true emotions as she could hers. I couldn't imagine dealing with a loss as either one of them had and I didn't want to. I couldn't even fathom how I would feel or what I would do if I lost Bella or the baby. I shivered just thinking about it and banished the thought from my mind._

_We had sat quiet for a moment before I started speaking again._

"_Dad, I want to ask Bella to marry me and since there isn't anyone else to ask, I'd like your blessing."_

"_Why do you want to get married?"_

"_What the fuck do you mean why?"_

"_Settle down. If you were asking an unbiased third party, like a priest, they would be asking you the same thing." _

"_For the same reason why anyone gets married, I want to spend the rest of my life with Bella. I love her and I will never want to be with anyone else. I just know in every part of me that we are meant to be together and it would've happened no matter the circumstances."_

_By the end of the conversation he had opened the safe that lay hidden underneath the wooden floor of his study and pulled out a small box. He handed it to me with great pride and I sat there for quite awhile staring at it. I remembered how it looked on my mother's hand, but only from a child's memory. I couldn't wait to see it on my Bella's hand. _

Soon the clucking and squealing died down and we ate a quiet meal at the dining room table. Bella and Alice discussed the cookout that Bella had been wanting to have and Alice was telling her it would be the perfect time for us to announce our engagement. I just nodded while they talked about the finer details.

Things felt different and yet the same when we went to bed that night. I was sure that she felt it too and a new feeling of comfort filled me when I held her before we both drifted to sleep. She was so tired, but she kept telling me how beautiful the picnic was and how she wouldn't have been able to imagine a better proposal if she tried, and how much she liked the ring. I think I may have even fallen asleep with a smile on my face.

The next day I was happy to make good on my promise of painting Bella…literally.

**BPOV**

Edward's hands felt much better on my stomach than the paint brush, but now he was working on the finer details of the painting and had to use a small brush which kind of tickled. Joey must've been sleeping because he didn't seem to be bothered by the whole ordeal at all. I wasn't even sure what those finer details were since I had no clue what he was painting, but I _was_ sure it would good whatever it was.

I was tired of watching TV upside down as I lay on the bed while Edward worked determinedly and I started wondering what he could possibly be painting.

"Van Gogh's Starry Night, a watermelon, a baby floating around"

"Bella, stop trying to guess, it's supposed to be a surprise!" He fake scolded me and I faked a sorry look.

"Was I close?"

"Not at all" He said while he concentrated on painting.

"It's not fair, Edward. I thought I would get to watch you paint." I pouted after I whined, but it didn't seem to faze him one bit.

"Yeah, but I want this one to be a surprise and then I'll do another one that you can watch me paint."

"Fine" I didn't stop pouting.

I was tired of whatever crap was on TV so I brought my hand up and started staring at my ring again. I loved it so much, it was utterly beautiful.

I had no idea that Edward had planned to propose in the meadow. Maybe I should've had some inclination, but it was a complete surprise. I thought maybe I was imagining it for a moment, but when I opened my eyes he was still there. It was just such a surreal moment. I couldn't even imagine a better proposal which I told Edward several times last night.

"This ring is so perfect. It even fits perfect." I spoke my thoughts aloud as I moved my hand back and forth just so I could see it from different angles. It also made the diamonds sparkle in the most beautiful way, almost as lovely as they had looked in the meadow, but not quite. I had told him last night how much I liked it, but I didn't want to go on and on about it and make him think that I thought it was the most important thing because it wasn't. He could've tied a bread tie around my finger and I would've still said 'yes' although this ring was exponentially better.

"I'm glad you like it, but we could pick something new if you don't." He looked up at me with an apprehensive expression.

"New?" I looked down at it quizzically. Surely, Edward had never intended on giving this to someone else, but it was very antique looking which was probably why I liked it so much, it had a tremendous amount of character.

"Yes, it was my mother's." He said quietly and was no longer looking at me.

"Oh" I said sadly. "Are you sure I'm the one that should have it?" I asked.

"What the fuck do you mean 'am I sure you're the one that should have it'? Of course I'm fucking sure." He was practically growling at me which I ignored.

"No, I meant what about Alice? Shouldn't she have your mother's ring?"

"No, I'm sure that Jasper will have a special ring for her and she already knew about it and was more than happy about the whole thing."

"But what about Emmett? He's the oldest and I'm surprised that he hasn't already asked Rosalie to marry him."

"Rosalie is…well, Rosalie." He said as an explanation and oddly enough it was, but he still continued. "Besides, Emmett isn't stupid enough to give her a ring that isn't the huge ass expensive one from Tiffany's that she been dreaming about since she exited the womb." He huffed a little while he continued to paint and I could tell he was rather agitated. "If you don't want it you can just fucking tell me." He snarled.

"No, I want it." I said as I clutched my hand against my chest like he would actually try to take it back, which I knew he wouldn't, but I was rather attached to the ring, not because of how it looked (which _is_ gorgeous) but because of what it represented. "I just don't want to be a source of contention between you and your siblings."

"Everyone, including my father, wanted me to have the ring so I could give it to you." His tone was much calmer now.

"I meant what I said when I said the ring is perfect which it would have to be since you gave it to me and _you're_ perfect for me."

"Bella, I'm far from perfect."

"Well, ain't that the _fucking_ truth?" I teased him and he threatened me with the paintbrush that was full of orange paint and coming dangerously close to my nose. "You are perfect for me though." I whispered.

His expression softened and I kissed him chastely, but then started moving my tongue along his bottom lip. He must've liked it because he didn't even notice when I took the paintbrush out of his hand. I pulled away from his mouth and then dabbed the brush on his nose before he could even get his eyes open.

"So, unfair." He grumbled, but he was actually smiling. He was already covered in paint so it didn't matter much. "And to think I was going to let you look at the painting." He said in a taunting voice.

I stuck my lip out and turned the full force of the puppy dog look on him.

"Relax the big brown eyes, Bella." He pleaded and I laughed. "It's done, so take a look."

I looked down and got a huge smile on my face before I ran to the mirror to get a better look.

My stomach was painted to look like a huge fishbowl with two big goldfish in it. They were very much like the fish we had watched at the Botanical Gardens and it made me smile because I had liked them so much.

Edward took several pictures before I reluctantly washed the paint off. I actually got to watch him paint the second one and I was right to think that Edward painting was a sextastic sight because it really was even though he had used my idea of a watermelon I quickly forgot about how much I disliked that watermelon thief shirt and just enjoyed the moment.

Esme and Alice had come in and said how much they liked it. It was even Esme that persuaded us to take some pictures outside. She thought it would be funny to pose on the picnic blanket since my stomach looked like a sliced watermelon and _I_ thought it would be funny to pose on the picnic blanket since we had rolled around naked on it yesterday.

I hated getting my picture taken, but I swear Edward could persuade me to do anything. Of course he made a good point that we would want to remember this time for years to come and we would want to show the baby when he was older how loved he was even before he was born.

_**Several Days Later – EPOV**_

"Edward, I can't drink any more water. I'll explode!" Bella yelled, but she wasn't really yelling _at_ me…or maybe she was.

Today was the day of the ultrasound and Bella was trying to drink the required 50 million gallons of water (her words) before we got to the clinic. I decided to take the focus off the explosion inducing water and put it on something positive.

"I can't wait to see the baby." I said excitedly because it was the truth.

"I know, me either. Those 3D machines are pretty remarkable." I just nodded in response because I didn't really know. "Do we want to know the sex?" She asked and looked up at me worriedly.

"We already know." I said nonchalantly.

"Ok, do we want it confirmed then?"

"Sure Bella, I mean if that's what you want."

She just nodded and changed the subject to the cookout that was this Sunday. Since Saturday was Alice's real birthday we decided to announce the engagement the next day and Alice was just happy to have a bunch of things to plan, which she absolutely did.

Inside the dimly lit room of the clinic Bella was laying on the exam table with her whole stomach exposed. She was absolutely giddy which was a nice change from the bad mood the full bladder and over consumption of water had caused in the car.

Bella's good mood diminished somewhat when we were told that the 3D machine wasn't working at the moment and we would just have to settle for a plain, old ultrasound or at least that's how Bella described it as she mumbled various disparaging things about the establishment.

All of that was quickly forgotten when a swooshing, beating sound filled the room and the picture of the baby popped onto the screen. Our hands instantly grabbed on to each other and I could feel the band of her ring against my finger and I continued to move my finger across it.

We were shown various parts of the baby - little feet, a beating heart, and a cute little face even though it didn't really look like a face. Then the baby's hand moved and his thumb went straight into his mouth. I saw tears run down Bella's cheeks and I would be lying if I said the sight didn't bring tears to my eyes too.

"I think it's a boy. Can you tell for sure?" Bella asked as she wiped her eyes.

The technician moved her wand around, but the baby was stubborn and the most we saw was his backside which was of little help.

When it was done Bella raced to the bathroom to finally empty her bladder and to get cleaned up and dressed. Once we left we made our way to the first childbirth class. The second, and last, class would be next week which we could come to right after school let out.

We found a seat around a big table and Bella actually looked more nervous than I felt. Luckily, a young girl sat next to Bella and they started talking and seemed to hit it off instantly. Her name was Bree and she said she was also having a boy. Bella showed off the freshly printed pictures of Joey and they seemed to be fast friends.

I was talking to the person who sat on the other side of me, who said his name was Alec, but before his introduction was made he had blurted out that he had skipped dinner for fear that they would show a video that would cause him to throw it up all over the floor. His girlfriend, Stephanie, promptly shoved him in the arm and rolled her eyes at him before placing her hands back on her very large stomach. She was much bigger than Bella and must've been due at any time now. They seemed like a pretty happy couple, they actually reminded me of Emmett and Rose, and it brought to my attention that poor Bree on the other side was by herself.

The class wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it to be. Of course the 'good' stuff was yet to come. Tonight we covered pretty tame topics like prenatal health as far as diet and exercise and signs of early labor. Bella won a prize for asking the most questions and she proudly clung to it as we walked to the car.

"I can't wait until we get home so I can use my highlighter on my new book." She said excitedly.

I just laughed because it was funny that it was the truth. We grabbed a quick dinner and then made our way home. Bella fell asleep only several miles away from the restaurant which I only noticed because she had quit quizzing me on stuff that she as reading. I looked over and saw that her head was resting against the window and her hands were loosely curled around the book.

Once we got home and Bella had woken up, she resumed her reading, now accompanied by the highlighter, on the bed as I organized homework that was strewn all over my desk. When I picked up a stack of papers something fell and fluttered to my feet. As soon as I picked it up and saw what it was I knew that it had been placed there on purpose.

"I think Alice is leaving us clues about Prom."

"Good for her" She mumbled as she highlighted what looked to be a really long line of information.

"You didn't go last year."

"I wasn't asked to go last year."

"I happen to know for a fact that Mike _and_ Tyler both asked you to go."

"You're right it was far worse than being asked by no one. Mike is nasty and probably has an STD, or several, and Tyler is gay and only wanted to go with me as a cover."

"It's still something you should do"

"Why?"

"Because it's a rite of passage"

"That's stupid and besides my doctor would never agree to it, so the school wouldn't allow me to be there anyway given the bed rest notice they have on file." She smirked at me because she knew she was getting her way.

"I'll let Alice know to back off, but you will try to go to graduation, right?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, I will."

_**Saturday – EPOV**_

Alice was more hyper than usual as she raced around the house and she was basically just a pink blur. She was having lunch at Jasper's house where she was meeting Emmett and Rose and then they were all coming back here so that we could have dinner at Alice's favorite restaurant.

"I'm not taking it off, so we can either tell them before we get to the restaurant or I can wear gloves…in April."

"I can put the ring back in the box and you can put it back on as soon as we sit at the table." I tried to reason with her, t_ried_ being the operable word.

"I. Am. Not. Taking. It. Off. EVER." This was her 'I'm pregnant, don't mess with me' tone and it wasn't worth pursuing anymore.

"Of course not, Love. We'll tell them down in the family room before we leave." I kissed her forehead and that seemed to calm the beast…I mean Bella.

She looked beautiful in a black dress with small, white flowers on it, but I didn't really pay attention to the flowers because it was pretty low cut and my eyes were drawn there instead.

She dismissed my advances, and rightfully so since the whole family was waiting downstairs, and I tried to dismiss my indecent (downright obscene) thoughts as we descended the stairs. Before we even entered the family room I could hear Emmett's booming laughter. Alice was recounting a story about Jasper and Rose's mother proudly showing them her the new doorbell chime, car horn honk, and her iphone's ringtone which were all to the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas". Alice did a perfect impression of Mrs. Hale and even though Emmett had bore witness to these events, he was still cracking up.

"Bella! You look great!" Rosalie practically shouted which alerted everyone of our arrival. She didn't pay much mind as she barreled past everyone and hugged Bella. I was beginning to think that my brother's uncouthness was rubbing off on her.

When Rose was done hugging her and I suppose accessing her stomach, which is what everyone did, she let out a small gasp. Her eyes locked onto the ring and she grabbed Bella's small hand while her mouth hung open.

Bella got a huge smile on her face. "We're getting married!"

**A/N – **

**I wasn't going to end it there, but it just worked out better this way. Next chapter we will have some house guests and believe me we are making progress even if it doesn't feel that way.**

**I know I've been sucking at updating and I deeply apologize. Thank you for sticking with me and this crazy story and thanks for those of you who message me asking me what's taking so damn long, lol. The semester does end in a few days and my baby is with her grandparents in Boston (which is nowhere near where I live) for the next 11 days, so I think some marathon writing is in my future.**

**I hope everyone who reviewed last chapter enjoyed their big ass teaser! I'll do that for this chapter too and hopefully we'll hit 600…we're only about 60 reviews away and since we have over 400 on alert I think it's doable. (doable like Edward…yummy)**

**The baby **_**is**_** coming soon, I feel like we should start a betting pool or something. **

**Reviews are like huge ass diamond rings…to me.**


	21. Chapter 21 The Median

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, but I do own "It's a…baby" pin.**

**A/N - **

**I love you guys and thank you for your continued support! **

**This chapter is unbeta'd, but I hope you can forgive me since I was in a rush to update. Only 8 days this time…high five!**

**This is kind of fuzzy bunny, but I hope you enjoy anyway :)**

**Previously on TB –**

_Bella got a huge smile on her face. "We're getting married!"_

**Chapter 21**

**The Median **

**EPOV**

After Bella's announcement Rose gave her another hug and congratulated her, but quickly moved back from the stampeding Emmett. He was almost as giddy as the women had been when they all received the news. I could tell he was refraining, he was basically shaking he wanted to pick her up and twirl her around so bad. Emmett was just like that, the big oaf, and if I stayed out of the way this time he wouldn't pick me up instead.

Rose casually strode over to me and shook my hand and gave me one of those awkward one armed hugs. It wasn't that I disliked her, ok I did, but I liked her for Emmett. They were a great couple in their own wacky way, but she was a stuck up princess that I wouldn't otherwise want to be around. It was true I had thought she was pretty when I first met her, but honestly she was not my type at all.

Soon after the excitement died down we had all taken our seats and remained in the den for awhile. Bella sat in the big chair and I sat on the arm since the couch was full and Jasper and Alice were sitting on the love seat. This was the first time I really acknowledged Jasper and he gave me a pointed look, but then turned his attention back to Alice.

Alice told everyone her favorite story of how she would dress me up in her dresses and have tea parties. I was shameless in what I would do for a plate full of cookies and a teapot full of soda. Poor Mom couldn't figure out why I was bouncing off the wall every afternoon until she caught Alice with a package of Oreos and 2 cans of Coke making her way back up to our toy room.

She came back up with Alice, a teapot full of water, and a plate full of apple slices. Imagine her surprise when she saw me sitting at the small table that was completely set up for a tea party, stuffed animals and dolls occupying the extra seats, and there I sat there with a frilly hat, white gloves, and a very fancy pink dress on.

"_Alice, what is going on here?"She asked in a serious tone._

"_A tea party of course, Mommy." She said sounding innocent._

"_Why is your brother wearing a dress?"This was the real question._

"_That is not my brother. That is Claudia, my best friend, and we are late for tea!"_

_My mother was not much for yelling, but she was even less for rudeness._

"_Mary Alice, you will put all your tea dishes away and wait for me in your room."Mom did not raise her voice, but it was apparent that this was a command and not up for discussion._

I had just sat there quietly still hoping that I would get cookies and soda. My mom came over and picked me up, shaking her head a few times when she saw the little high heels on my dangling feet. She turned a stern look back at Alice and pointed to the tea set and then pointed to its box before she left the room.

Back in my own clothes Mom had taken me down to the kitchen and sat me at the table as she dumped out Alice's teapot and set it where she couldn't reach it. She then took out 3 cookies and a glass of milk for me and left to talk to Alice. I'm not sure what was said, but I do know that after that she had play dates with little girls and I never wore a dress again.

Alice finished telling the story by saying it was a shame that I didn't fit into her dresses anymore. I scoffed, but everyone else laughed.

"Oh my God, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard! I hope you at least have a picture of that!" Bella exclaimed through her laughter and was wiping tears from her eyes; she apparently thought it was that funny. She was the only one in the room that hadn't heard the story, many times, and I had gotten over being embarrassed by it a long time ago.

"As a matter of fact" Alice said while slipping away from Jasper and heading to the bookshelves.

"Alice, you said you threw it away!" Ok, maybe I was still a little embarrassed.

Alice had gotten Emmett to take a picture of us with our parents' camera. He refused at first because he didn't want to get into trouble, but Alice was smart and she used the same cookie and soda bribery that had worked on me and had Emmett in agreement with whatever she asked.

Alice got down one of the photo albums and flipped through it until she found the picture she was looking for.

"Here we go" She said as she handed the book over to Bella.

I peeked over her shoulder at the old photo. I hadn't seen it in a long time and I did think it had been thrown away, but of course Mom probably thought it was funny even though she wouldn't have let Alice know that at the time. She was actually quite shocked when she found this picture mixed in with the ones that she had taken and she said hopefully the person who developed the film had just thought it was Alice's friend. The picture showed us in our playroom, girl toys on one side and boy toys on the other, and there was Alice and I in the middle standing in front of the little table. We both had on hats that I think were Grandma Cullen's 'church hats' and big feather boas. Alice had put makeup on both of us and we were in almost identical dresses, hers was white with pink lace and the one I was wearing was pink with white lace, and of course fancy shoes. I posed the way she told me too and we both had an arm around each other and the other one on our hips and for some reason my smile was just as big as Alice's. I guess at four years old it really was just a game, one that included sweets.

"And how did this not make the back of the yearbook!" Bella asked as she continued to laugh

"Oh, believe me, Bella, Alice picked an equally embarrassing one." I said as I flipped the pages looking for it.

"Oh, come on. At least you weren't in drag!" Alice said comically defending herself.

"Barely, I'm in a sailor outfit." I huffed and handed the book back to Bella once I found the photo.

"Aw, these are so cute!"

The whole page was full of pictures of Alice and I in coordinating outfits and she looked at each one carefully.

"Wow, you weren't kidding about the matching outfits." She said quietly and I gave her a sad smile.

When Bella was finished looking at the album she handed it back to me with the promise that I would show her other ones sometime. Alice was standing near the shelves on the wall when I put it away. She was staring off into space nostalgically and I knew she was thinking about Mom. I wrapped my arms around and whispered into her ear.

"Happy birthday, Big Sister, I love you."

"I love you too, Little Bro, and for the record you really were my best friend and I'm sorry for dressing you like a girl."

"I forgive you, just don't do that to my son." I said only half jokingly and she laughed.

"No problem" She said before addressing the whole room. "Time for cake!" She clapped her hands like a small child and made her way into the kitchen.

Alice insisted we eat cake before dinner because she didn't want to take her 3 layered, fancy confection all the way to Port Angeles and risk it becoming damaged in the car, she also didn't want to wait until we got home from the restaurant.

After cake we had to rush to the restaurant to make our reservation time and I made sure Bella and I rode by ourselves. She was staring out the window with her hand pressed firmly on the top of her stomach; it was what she did in what she called a futile attempt to protect her ribs.

"Baby kicking?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"Yeah, too much sugar I guess." She replied never moving her stare.

"Bella?"

"Yeah" She said turning to look at me.

"I love you" I said with a lopsided grin.

"I love you too" She said and placed her left hand on my leg. I glanced down to see the ring on her finger and returned my attention to the road after we shared a quick smile.

Dinner was better than previous years, what I could remember from previous years, since I no longer drank myself into a stupor every time I was upset. As a matter of fact I wasn't upset, but even when I was I no longer used alcohol, or anything else, as an ineffective tool to make myself feel better.

We sat at a large, round table covered in dark, maroon linen with two candles in the center. Bella kept fidgeting with the napkin in her lap and I rubbed circles on the back of her hand until it eventually took a hold of mine.

When the salads came she busied herself with eating and I busied myself with watching her eat and just pushing the rabbit food around my plate with the fork. Esme started talking about a charity event that she was on the planning committee for and Bella perked up and joined in on the conversation. I realized it must have been something they had talked about while they were home together all day.

No one was in a rush and we all ate our dinner slowly, enjoying the conversation. Although we had already eaten cake, Emmett insisted on ordering desert and Bella ordered ice cream which came in a little fancy dish and was garnished with a little green leafy thing. It looked gross and it must have been because it became a melted puddle with a leaf floating on top of it by the time we left.

I could tell that Bella was exhausted when we left and she slipped her shoes off before buckling her seat belt. She didn't want to fall asleep though so we kept talking the whole time. We shared more stories from our childhood and just in general until we were finally home.

We had all gotten there at about the same time and we walked in behind everyone else. Bella gave Alice a hug and told her happy birthday again before she told all of us goodnight. I gave her a quick kiss and whispered to her that I would be up in a minute right before she went upstairs. I knew she would be asleep by the time I got there judging by how tired she had been.

Jasper and Alice decided to watch a movie and she went upstairs to change into her pajamas. I think Dad and Esme were sitting on the back patio because they were old and weird and liked to stare at the stars or some shit. Everyone else went into the kitchen, so I followed them not really having anything else to do.

Jasper put some popcorn in the microwave and Emmett was getting another piece of cake which he quickly took into the other room probably so Rose wouldn't see it was nearly the entire bottom tier, but she was busy washing the dishes we had abandoned in our rush to get to the restaurant. It seemed so far out of Rose's character, but I guess living on your own forces you to take on responsibility especially when my pig brother probably dirtied every dish in the house on a daily basis.

Jasper sat down on one of the bar stools at the island and I sat next to him. Rose turned to look at me and I smirked at her yellow gloved hands that were covered with suds and dripping water. I expected a bitchy remark or a spiteful glare or at the very least for her to flip water at me, which I knew for a fact was not beneath her, but she just smiled. Well, it was more of a sneer, but for her it was a smile.

"So what the fuck, dude! You're getting married, just like that!" Jasper shouted and snapped his fingers in a really pissy way.

What the fuck was up with these Hales? The bitch was smiling at me and my best friend was shouting in way that made me want to punch him in the fucking mouth.

"Yeah, dude, that's exactly what I'm going to do. What the fuck is your problem!"

I don't know who stood up first, but we both did in some testosterone, alpha male reaction. The stools were pushed back by our movements and wobbled, but didn't fall. Just as fast as we were up and in each other's faces Rose was between us with her sopping hand pressed against Jasper's chest.

"Jasper, what the fuck is wrong with you! Sit your fucking ass down!" Rose screamed in his face and pushed him back forcefully.

What kind of Midol Twilight Zone was I standing in?

"I'll tell you what my problem is! You're an idiot for getting married at 18 and everyone else are idiots too because they're actually happy about it!"

"Watch it" Rose growled at him, but his eyes were locked on me as mine were on him.

"Rose, I've never _not_ wanted to hit you so bad, but I'm about ready to knock you the fuck out of the way!"

She pushed me back into my seat and had her hand back on Jasper.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Jasper? Edward has finally grown up and is doing the right thing for once and you're crying about it like a little bitch? You should be happy that he's actually stepping up to the plate!"

_Wait a fucking minute. I totally retract my statement about not wanting to hit Rose. _

"Hey, what's going on here?" Alice said from the doorway and I turned around just in time to see Bella scurry down the hallway.

_Shit._

"This is not done!" I shouted at Jasper and shoved his shoulder beyond Rose's grasp.

I took off down the hall and frantically looked around for Bella. I ran upstairs, but our bedroom was empty and after swinging the bathroom door open and causing it to crash into the wall, I walked in and it was empty too.

I ran back down to the kitchen to see if Alice was still down there and to ask her if she had seen Bella. I could hear something going on in there before I reached the doorway, but I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

Bella was leaning on the counter casually eating a bowl of ice cream and both Rose and Jasper were sitting in front of her…crying.

I was pretty sure that the antichrist couldn't cry and as far as Jasper was concerned yeah he was an emotional dude, but fuck. It wasn't as if they were both sobbing hysterically, but still, Rose had a steady stream going down her cheeks which had fucked up her makeup and Jasper had wiped his face, but his eyes were still red and watery. I was stunned.

Bella didn't look up as she continued to eat and Alice led Jasper out of the kitchen by his hand. Rose got up slowly, walked over to me, and gave me a big hug. Emmett walked in with a plate full of cake crumbs and surveyed the situation as Alice and Jasper walked passed him.

"What the…hey, I miss everything!" He shouted, but no one responded.

"Goodnight" Rose said as she left and Emmett decided that he would follow her after mumbling goodnight too.

I walked up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her. "Hey, baby, are we ok?"

"Yeah, we're fine." She looked up at me all doe eyed and innocent like nothing had just happened. I was too tired for this shit.

"You know none of that shit that Rose was spewing has anything to do with this, right?" I motioned my hand around her engagement ring.

"Yes, I know that. You do know that none of that shit that Rose and Jasper said had anything to do with us, right? They have their own hang-ups and personal problems. They just didn't realize it."

"So, you helped them realize it?"

"I guess. I think they already knew they just didn't want to admit it."

"Whatever, I'm just glad you're not going around kicking people anymore."

"Hey, Mike deserved that." She defended.

"I know, baby." I said and kissed her head before we headed upstairs.

~ _Sunday_

Alice was whirling around again and didn't let me and Bella do much. Finally we gave up and went to our room. She was sitting on the bed typing away frantically mumbling about 'the term paper from hell' and I was at the desk on the other computer making a power point presentation for US History. Easiest thing ever.

"Hey, do you need some help on your paper?"

"No" She grumbled and continued to type.

Eventually she abandoned the paper and started to get ready. It was cloudy outside, but the rain was holding off, which I was happy about. I wasn't so sure about Jacob Black coming over because I had despised him for so long, but I knew him and Bella were good friends, so I was trying to look at it positively.

I had offered to help my dad on the grill, but he was oddly possessive of that thing and it was a one man show kind of deal.

When Bella was finally ready and we walked outside I noticed her little hands ball up into fists and her eyes instantly found my sister.

"Alice" She growled.

"Surprise!" She yelled and then smiled unabashed.

She shook her finger at Alice and mumbled that she would deal with her later, but we both knew that nothing would come of that.

The back yard looked great with a tent set up just in case of rain and on a table were a bunch of desserts and fancy shit like mints and confetti on the table and there were balloons that matched the cakes and a few wrapped presents on the neighboring table. It was an impromptu baby shower and I knew Bella was not happy about that, but at least she was enjoying her friends.

She had run up to Jacob and wrapped her little arms around him. The embrace lasted longer than I would have liked, but I didn't say anything and then my self-restraint was truly tested when he started talking to her stomach.

Jacob's dad, Billy, was there too and it made me feel better that Bella had some sort of father figure who was worried about her and was excited for the baby.

Bella had gone off to talk to Angela when Jasper came up to me. He apologized for the way he behaved the night before and said that he was happy for both of us, but he didn't want us to rush into anything and ruin our relationship. He said we should still enjoy some of the things about being young because we wouldn't be able to get this time in our lives back. I wanted to correct him, but this is where Bella's observant comments came into play and I knew he was mostly talking about him and Alice.

Rose was more straightforward and just laid it out there that she was jealous that her and Emmett were nowhere close to getting married and she hadn't realized how much she wanted that and a family before now.

It wasn't intentional but it seemed that most of the women grouped together on one side and the men on the other. Esme was sitting next to Bella as she talked to the other girls at the table and I smiled at the sight.

When it was time to open presents Bella blushed bright red and I sat next to her because I knew she hated being the center of attention.

Angela had made a beautiful photo album and volunteered to take pictures of the baby to fill it up.

Leah gave her a baby book that was in the same colors as the photo album, neutral greens and yellows, and I thought they must've coordinated.

Jacob handed her a gift bag with a picture of a big pacifier on it and it was a funny sight, but I didn't laugh. She pulled out a big, russet brown teddy bear that had "My First Teddy" embroidered on his foot.

"Every kid needs a teddy bear." Jacob said and I nodded my head at his reasoning, it sounded good to me.

"Jake, still has his good old Mr. Honey, don't ya?" Billy said while he smacked his son's back.

"Oh my God, I bet you still sleep with it!" Bella exclaimed.

"Thanks, Dad." He said as he shook his head.

Alice's present was actually the smallest which surprised me.

"My real gift is the awesome job we're doing on the nursery; this is just something I would've gotten anyway."

Bella opened it and held up a tiny little shirt thing that said "I love my aunt". Everyone 'awwed' at how cute it was and I just shook my head because she had probably bought one in every size they come in.

Lastly, Esme handed Bella a large, rectangular box. I again had to hold back my laughter when Bella's delicate fingers tried to open the package without disturbing the bows or destroying the paper which she was successful at, but I didn't have any idea what she planned to do with it now.

She opened the box to reveal a beautiful white blanket. I ran my hand over it and it was so soft and fuzzy and it was obvious that Esme had handmade it, but I didn't even know she was capable of making something so nice.

Bella had tears in her eyes when she thanked everyone which was followed by a bunch of hugs and belly pats. I took this as my cue to return to the guys and I kissed Bella's cheek before walking in on a conversation between Emmett and Billy that was in numerical code. After a moment I figured out it had something to do with racecar drivers and I moved over to the conversation that Jasper, my dad, and Jacob were having because I knew shit about racing and I wanted to keep it that way. It turned out that the only thing the other guys were talking about was the weather…awkward much?

I changed the subject to sports, real sports not the kind where someone drives around in a circle, and it ended with Jacob and I challenging each other to a game of basketball. I kind of take for granted that we have a basketball court in our yard, but Jacob and Sam thought it was pretty cool and that's where we spent the majority of the evening.

When the sun started to set everyone started to leave, but Angela stayed and offered to help clean up. Everyone already had their own task, as assigned by Alice, so Bella asked her to just help her carry the baby's things into the house. It was then that I realized that she was probably curious about the house since pretty much no one from school had ever been inside.

Angela's eyes lit up at the mention of a tour and when I opened our bedroom door and announced it as "This is where the magic happens" Bella punched me in the arm and relegated my position as tour guide.

Angela went home soon after that, but I think her and Bella had made plans to get together some time soon. Bella had tried in vain to help with clean-up again, but was dismissed. She gave up and went up to our room and I stayed downstairs just long enough to feel useful. After I took out some trash and put the chairs back in the garage I ran upstairs.

When I opened the door Bella looked up at me over the top of her glasses from where she sat on the bed with the laptop much like earlier…but way better.

"Fuck. I didn't know you wore glasses."

"Oh, I don't. I mean I'm supposed to, I just never do."

"Except now?"

"Well, I thought it might help with this stupid paper."

"You thought being able to see would help you with the paper?"

"No, well yeah I guess, but no I just feel more studious like this."

I smirked "You look beyond studious."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah" Because she did, she looked like a fuckhot, sexy librarian with her hair in a messy bun with a pencil sticking out of it and those fucking glasses.

The laptop was pushed aside and the light was quickly turned off.

I called on my way home to pick Bella up for the last baby class just to remind her which was good because she had fallen asleep, but she said she would be ready when I got there.

I was going to get out and go get her because I would have felt like a douche if I had just sat there and honked the horn, but she came running out with her hair in a pony tail and she was wearing the pregnant dinosaur shirt that Emmett gave her.

"Sorry, I get so tired in the afternoon that I usually lie down after lunch and I guess I just fell asleep."

"That's ok, we're not going to be late." I said giving her a quick kiss before backing out of the driveway.

We sat in the same seats in the classroom as last time and it seemed that everyone else did too. I held my breath when Bella asked Bree where her partner was, not everyone had the baby's father with them, but everyone else did have _somebody_ with them. She said that her boyfriend was in jail and Bella became very embarrassed that she had even asked such a personal question, but Bree just continued saying that she had just turned 16 and her boyfriend, Riley, was 21 and was arrested for being a perv that couldn't score with girls his own age…ok I'm paraphrasing that last part. I didn't listen to the rest of her story because I knew I was being a creepy eavesdropper and instead started talking to Alec.

Class was…class, but I lived to tell about it, not that I ever actually wanted to speak of it out loud, but now I can at least feel knowledgeable…or nauseous.

~ _Early May_

School was nearing an end which wasn't a bad thing, a nerve racking thing yes, but definitely not bad. Bella and I were old news by now and I hardly got a second glance from anyone. Bigger and better, or worse as the case may be, things had happened and the high school attention span had moved on to the fact that Jessica was walking around with what looked like leprosy eating her face, but if asked she would say it was a cold sore…slut translation = oral herpes. Not that the whole male population wasn't in an uproar about the 'cold sore' situation, but then Coach walked in on Mike and Tyler in the locker room shower doing a little more than conserving water. So yeah, no one gave a shit about who I had gotten pregnant.

It wasn't even second period yet and I was getting called down to the principal's office. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what the hell it was that I did this time, but I was coming up blank.

I walked in to see Bella sitting there looking especially nervous. I sat down and the principal went to close the door.

"He called and said we needed to talk about graduation, so I used Esme's car to come down here." She whispered.

"What about graduation?"

She just shrugged her shoulders but I could tell she was scared about what the principal was about to say.

"Don't worry, Bella, you _are_ graduating."

"Of course she's graduating and that's what I wanted to discuss." He sat down at his desk and scooted his chair forward before folding his hands and giving us an authoritative look. "Being the top two of your class you will be sharing the title of Valedictorian and we would like you to deliver the speech together."

We both looked at each other with wide eyes and mouths and then looked back at the principal.

**A/N –**

**After re-evaluating the outline we have 3 or 4 chapters left.**

**Did everyone catch my rpatz reference? Hehehe, I'm so clever, lol.**

**Baby/Little Kid Pictures in Yearbook – Our high school yearbook did this thing where parents or other family members would pay and submit a picture and a message for seniors. It was a big deal and that's what Bella was referring to. Did your school do this? **

**NASCAR – Yeah, I was making fun of it, but I live in Indiana so that makes it ok. The rules dictate that if you live somewhere where 'Nascar' and 'nice car' sound alike you can make fun of it all you like…and now you're totally saying that shit out loud. LOL**

**Valedictorian – Traditionally, there's only one per graduating class but there has been a (controversial) trend towards more than one.**

**Hugs and kisses to everyone who reviews and tears and sobs to all those that don't. Seriously do I have to kill someone to get ya'lls attention? *grabs pen and adds it to outline* ;) **


	22. Chapter 22 The Middle

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, but I do own some studious glasses.**

**A/N – **

**Thanks to everyone who has stuck by this crazy story. There are a lot of you that have been here from the beginning and some newbies that have recently joined and have blown me away with their reviews. I love all of you! Special spanks go out to Beta Lulu, who just can't stay away. ;)**

**This is supposed to be the graduation chapter, but it's not. This is Bella's account of the previous chapter which I felt was very important to do before we moved on and I don't think it's redundant. It also doesn't count towards what I was counting that we had left…which you may be happy about…or not.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 22**

**The Middle**

"_Hey, don't write yourself off yet  
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on  
Just do your best, do everything you can  
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say._

_It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride  
Everything, everything will be just fine, everything, everything will be alright, alright."_

_The Middle ~ Jimmy Eat World_

**BPOV**

I was exhausted when we left the restaurant, but I didn't want to fall asleep in the car and leave Edward without any company for the long drive back to Forks. Not only that, but time alone for us was a rarity and I didn't want to waste a second of it. We talked about nothing of importance and yet it did feel important.

Back at the house, I could barely keep my eyes open when I told everyone goodnight, but as soon as I got in that big, empty bed I was wide awake. I tossed and turned, not very well considering my disproportionate size, until I eventually gave up and crawled out of the bed. I looked down at myself and decided that the t-shirt and Edward's sweat pants that I had on were decent enough to go downstairs in.

Once I got to the second floor I saw Alice walking down the hall.

"Hey Alice, what's everyone else doing?" I asked her because I didn't think that anyone else was ready to turn in so early.

"They went into the kitchen. I'm just changing my clothes and then we're going to watch a movie." She said before she headed towards her room.

"Ok"

I slowly continued my way down the stairs and across the house and as I got closer to the kitchen the louder the voices got. One in particular, Edward's, stood out over the other ones. Edward's voice was incredibly harsh, not to mention loud, and his habit involving the "F' word was in full effect and I began to wonder what had him so upset. Then I rounded the corner of the kitchen doorway and found out.

"I'll tell you what my problem is! You're an idiot for getting married at 18 and everyone else are idiots too because they're actually happy about it!" Jasper screamed in Edward's face.

I didn't know Jasper very well, but it hurt my feelings that he would say such mean things. I wanted to cry, but I was too stunned, and perhaps a little too hardened from the worse things I had heard, for my eyes to even consider the thought of crying. Instead I had a very strong urge to turn around and run, just run away, but I couldn't do it.

Rose, on the other hand, I knew a lot better than I did her brother and although in the past I felt like she mainly just 'put up' with me because of Emmett, I had thought we had grown closer now. I even thought that perhaps I had imagined Rose being distant in the past because she _is_ a very intimidating woman, but I think her words hurt me the most of all because she spoke what no one else had, but what probably everyone was thinking, that Edward was marrying me because he had gotten me pregnant.

Did the thought ever cross my mind? No. Well, not seriously anyway. I had doubts and felt tremendously insecure at the beginning of our relationship, but I couldn't deny Edward's feelings for me anymore than I could deny my own for him.

I could see by the look on Edward's face that he felt the same way about Rosalie's statement. It looked as if he had been punched in the gut and the expression alone made me want to claw at her blue eyes, pull out her blond hair, and say disparaging things about her virtue. It was like I was seeing red and I was so caught up in my own rage that I hadn't heard the footsteps coming up behind me.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Alice said in a stunned voice.

Edward turned around to look at her, but his eyes locked right onto mine for just barely a second before I panicked and ran from the situation. I didn't know what to do or say so I got away from them as fast as I could, but I wasn't really 'running away'. I was still pretty upset, but I stopped at the closest bathroom to calm down and splash some cold water on my face. After I felt calm enough to not want to pummel anyone I made my way back to the kitchen.

Edward was nowhere in sight, but Alice was sitting next to Jasper and they both had grim looks on their faces. I suppose they had exchanged some words while I was gone, but I wasn't sad that I didn't know exactly what those were. Rose was putting dishes in the cabinets and when I went to the one that housed the bowls she handed me one without me even having to ask and then she moved to right in front of the freezer half of the refrigerator. It wasn't exactly the smartest place for the person I was just ready to claw their eyes out to be standing, in between me and my ice cream.

"Move…please." The last word was just added as a habit of protocol.

"Listen, Bella." She began, but I wasn't listening because she was in my way.

"Move"

"I just want to talk to you about what you heard. I just wanted to apologize if hearing that upset you, but just know that I would never say something like that to someone outside of this family."

"You're outside this family." I blurted out.

She put her hand on her hip and raised her eyebrows in the bitchiest way I had ever seen. "Listen. To. Me." She snarled because she knew for a fact I definitely didn't want to. "Just because you're knocked up with the first grandbaby and have that fat rock on your hand doesn't make you better than me. I've been here, with Emmett, for YEARS!"

I laughed. I literally laughed out loud, reached past her, and let the freezer door bump her ass until she moved. I then grabbed my ice cream and set it on the counter with the bowl. When I turned around Rose looked a little less surprised and a whole hell of a lot more pissed.

"I don't know who in the hell you think you are, but –"

I slammed the drawer shut that I was getting the ice cream scooper out of and looked up with the last ounce of patience I had completely gone.

"No, it's not who _I_ think I am, it's who _you_ think I am. Isn't that right, Rosalie?"

"I-I-I" She never got the sentence out.

"Edward and I didn't plan to have a baby, but I can't be sad about what we've been blessed with and we don't need years and years to date. We love each other and we will get married next month. We've overcome a lot of shit, some of it having to do with other people and some was just between us, but we've come a long way, so the last person we need shit from is you two." This was the first time I addressed Jasper and my eyes quickly moved to his to let him know that I had not forgotten about his involvement and he promptly looked down properly ashamed.

"If you have dreams about being knocked up and having a fat rock on your finger then you need to address that with Emmett and _do not _bring your issues with Emmett between Edward and I because we have our own issues to deal with." I kept my voice low and calm, but before she could speak I turned my attention to Jasper.

"Jasper, I don't know you very well but I do know Alice very well. Like the fact that she already has every single detail of your wedding planned out from the wedding dress down to the table linens and if that scares you, you need to talk to her about it, but don't presume to know how Edward and I feel."

Alice looked like a small and delicate bird perched on the top of the bar stool just looking at Jasper. She never once looked at me and it never seemed that anything I said had bothered, or surprised her for that matter, and she just remained completely focused on Jasper with a concerned, but soft look on her face. Jasper looked between the two of us before he started crying. It was a silent type of crying with fat tears rolling out of his watery, blue eyes. Alice got up, remaining just as silent as she had been, and stood behind him just leaning on his back with her arms wrapped around him. She resembled one of those animal backpacks we used to wear as kids, like a Koala, but it was far too heartwarming to laugh like I normally would have. It wasn't an overly affectionate act, but the sheer emotion of it made it seem so private that I had to turn around and look away. But that's how Jasper and Alice were, very intense, and maybe that's what frightened Jasper sometimes.

When I did look away I saw Rose just straight out bawling into her hands. Shit, not her too! I didn't even think Rose was capable of such an uncontrolled, 'ugly' cry. It wasn't a few quiet tears like her brother, no. This was loud sniffling and choked breathing with smeared makeup and running snot. Maybe she was pms'ing or something because this was just too odd.

I gave her a small pat on the arm and she gave me a small nod of her head and then she went to sit in the seat where Alice had just gotten up from. I eagerly went to the counter and finished making my bowl of ice cream before it was completely melted. I just stood there eating it while the three of them sat there. They hadn't said anything to me, but they didn't need to, we were fine now.

When I first made my way down here I felt completely rejuvenated, but now I was back to feeling utterly exhausted. I could feel Edward walk in without even looking up, so I didn't. I almost smiled knowing just how his face probably looked as he took in what he was seeing. I continued to savor my ice cream one bite at a time and Rose got up and gave Edward a hug. Like a real hug. She wrapped both of her arms all the way around him, let her ordinarily perfect hair smash against his chest, and really embraced him. I smiled to myself because I knew it was rare and beautiful thing.

It wasn't soon enough that everyone else had left the room, poor Emmett always seems like the left out one, but he's too happy for all of our drama anyway.

Edward asked if everything was alright with us and it was and I always wanted it to be.

My awesome cook-out had been turned into a damn baby shower. To say I was pissed was an understatement, but as much as I wanted to strangle Alice I knew I couldn't…because she was unbelievably fast and I would never be able to catch her, but also because I, not so deep down, really loved that girl.

So, I endured all the matching, color coordinated crap everywhere and everyone patting my belly and being the center of attention. Honestly, it wasn't that bad. It was actually really great to have all of my friends and people who I considered family celebrate our baby that wasn't so celebrated a short few months ago. I didn't dwell on that though because things weren't like that anymore and they wouldn't be like that ever again.

When Angela and I had carried Joey's presents into the bedroom I gave the Teddy Bear from Jake a little hug before I put it away. I really did think he still slept with his raggedy, old bear, but I thought it was cute that he got one for the baby. Jake had been there for me so much when everyone else had turned their backs that I don't know where I would be without him. I actually probably wouldn't be right here, right now since he was the one that helped me come back and he was the one that helped me through…everything.

I was having the nicest dream of sleeping on a cloud with Edward. I didn't say it made much sense because I don't think I've ever heard of someone dream about sleeping and I don't know how you would actually do so on a cloud anyway, sadly it's impossible, but it was a nice dream nevertheless. And then the cloud started buzzing. No, that was my phone. I grabbed it, not fully awake, and answered.

"Hello"

"Hey, I just wanted to call and let you know that I was on my way…you know to pick you up for the baby class thing?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. Sorry, I guess I fell asleep. I'll be ready when you get here."

"Ok, see you in a minute. Love you."

"Love you too."

I hopped out of the bed and changed out of my stretchy pants and oversized t-shirt that I usually wore around the house. I grabbed the first thing my hands landed on in the closet which happened to be these really nice jeans that didn't look like maternity pants, but they were and I'm sure that Alice paid a small fortune for them, and the pink dinosaur shirt that Emmett gave me. I hopped out of the closet as I pulled on my tennis shoes, without untying them first, and then put my hair up into a sloppy pony tail with the hair band that was around my wrist. I then wasted no time racing down the stairs and across the house yelling a quick "goodbye" to Esme before I rushed out the door.

Edward's car was already sitting in the driveway and he was just opening his door to get out. I had thought that when he saw me he would get back in, but he opened my door for me, and then got back in. He was always doing sweet things like that that I used to think were uncharacteristic of him, but really he never gave them a second thought and it made me think of what a little gentleman our son would grow up to be.

"Sorry, I get so tired in the afternoon that I usually lie down after lunch and I guess I just fell asleep." I said with a yawn.

"That's ok, we're not going to be late." He said before giving me a soft kiss on the cheek before pulling out of the driveway.

I was so glad that this was the last night of the childbirth class because it made me nervous to go over things I didn't know and it made me even more nervous to go over things I did know, because let's face it the size of a fully dilated vagina is not something you unlearn…it just isn't.

"So, where's your partner?" I asked Bree because everyone else had one and I thought maybe hers was late or maybe I just didn't think at all.

"I don't have one." She said nonchalantly, but I blushed in embarrassment because I shouldn't have asked such a question, but she just continued talking. "I mean, of course the baby has a dad, but he's in jail." I tried not to react to that statement, but how do you not? It's impossible, I think in the least my eyes bugged out a little. "Don't worry he didn't kill anyone or anything, but he's 21 and I just turned 16." She explained calmly. Right because that's so much better than killing someone, well I guess it kinda is, but still that's some sick shit in my opinion. It's not much less than the age difference between my step-father and I and the thought made me shiver.

During class we talked about what to expect at the hospital as far as equipment and how many people are allowed in the delivery room. The teacher handed out early registration forms so we wouldn't have to go through the whole process when we got there, and were in labor, and I finished filling it out by the time she announced that it was time for a break. I think my bladder did a cheer, but I'm sure it wasn't the only one.

"I'll be right back, Edward." I said to him because he was busy talking to Alec about something football related and I didn't even pretend to understand what it was.

"Oh yeah, do you want something out of the vending machine because I could really go for a soda?" He said while handing me a few dollars. I hated taking money from him, but I wasn't about to cause a scene in front of everyone.

Bree and I walked out together and made our way to the restroom.

"I really like your shirt." She said.

"Oh, thanks. Edward's brother got it for me. He's such a jokester." I say laughing because anyone that knew Emmett would agree.

I hadn't really noticed before, but she had on a large concert t-shirt from a band that I had never heard of and stretchy shorts. If I were to guess I would say that the shirt had belonged to one jail bird who no longer had a need or access to his crappy t-shirt collection. She did mention that she was staying with Jail Bird's, I mean Riley's, mom since her dad didn't really care what she did or rather "probably hasn't even sobered up enough to realize that I was gone", her words, and her mother had bailed years ago, never having been much of a mother in the first place. I instantly felt a lot of empathy for her, but as shitty as I admit Charlie has been, I don't think he compared against this guy, and let's face it, there is no comparison between Edward and Riley, so I just kept my mouth shut as we made our way across the building.

We went out the back door and onto the patio where visitors and employees on break go and Bree followed me to the pop machine. We saw a few other people from class sitting at the picnic tables and I got Edward a Dr. Pepper because I knew that's what he wanted and I got a water for myself and one for Bree and I handed it to her.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I wanted to."

She smiled at me and accepted. It was really nice outside for spring and we sat down for a moment to enjoy the warm breeze. I was programming Bree's phone number into my cell when Julie, a girl from class, started talking in a very loud voice. She was sitting on the table instead of the seat and had a cigarette in one hand and a Mountain Dew in the other. The only thing that was missing was an ashtray right in the middle on her very large stomach.

"So, I tell the doctor that he should just induce me next week and that way I'll be able to get really fucking drunk at all the graduation parties." She said as she exhaled a large cloud of smoke out of her foul mouth. "Which speaking of, I didn't know that you couldn't drink _and_ breastfeed, I mean, that's just bullshit. I've been sober for 9 months, but I don't care about just giving _it_ a bottle, I just hope I can still get my job back at Hooters."

The girl next to her nodded in agreement, or maybe just astonishment, because I was pretty astonished myself.

"I hope your baby pulls your uterus out with it." I said without thinking and Bree choked and spit water all over the place before pulling me by the hand back into the building. Julie-the-wonder-mom never reappeared and it actually made me sad because she probably needed the class more than anyone.

Edward was quiet the rest of the class casually drinking his soda and clutching my hand under the table. When everything was said and done I was just glad that the teacher was done saying shit. I knew Edward's attitude was rubbing off on me…ok that took my train of thought in a totally different route…and that's what got us this, I thought with a small smile spreading across my face as I laid one of my hands on my stomach.

I looked over to Edward to see that he looked almost green, but also had a small smile on his face. I think he was as happy, probably more, than I was about class being over.

~ Early May

School was almost over, but I didn't even have the time to get excited about it. All of my spare excitement went towards my impending due date which I couldn't believe was the following month. At the moment I had 5 final papers that Esme, bless her heart, had proofread and returned to me with notes all over them and that left me busy making corrections and typing up bibliographies to cite where I had derived my information.

I was typing at the desk computer because I would've probably fallen asleep if I typed in bed with the laptop that I pretty much had overtaken from Edward. I had woken up early this morning with Edward and stayed up to go over my papers with Esme and then finish them up while she was busy doing more important things. All of a sudden the phone rang and I jumped up to answer it thinking that Esme was either in the greenhouse or had left.

"Hello" Then I thought that maybe I should've said "Cullen residence", but if it was Edward he would've had a fit saying that I sounded like a maid or something. The thought made me laugh.

"Hello, I need to speak to Isabella Swan, please."

"Yes, this is her. How can I help you?"

"Oh, good morning Miss Swan. This is Mr. Kirkpatrick." I drew a blank which must've been apparent by the moment of silence. "The principal. Anyway, I just wanted to see if it would be possible for you to come down to the office and speak with me for a moment."

"Sure, is everything ok?"

"I just need to speak with you regarding graduation. You can be here within the hour, yes?"

"Sure, yes, I'll leave right now."

I don't remember saying any goodbyes or anything, just throwing the phone down and looking for Esme so I could ask to borrow her car. Luckily, she was still here and she never cared if I borrowed her car, not that I made a habit of it, her SUV was fancier than Edward's car and he loved that thing.

A short while later I arrived at the school and made my way to the principal's office where he directed me to wait and then left me alone for a moment. I was frantically rubbing my hands in my lap when the door re-opened. I expected to see the stocky and stern faced man that was Mr. Kirkpatrick, but instead I was met by a set of dazzling, green eyes that looked as confused as I was. I could tell that Edward had been running his hand through and probably tugging on his hair the whole way down here because it was really disheveled and it made me want to make it look even more so, but not with my hands. I shook my head because those were very inappropriate thoughts to be having in the principal's office

And those thoughts were instantly forgotten because the principal walked in right behind Edward and told him to sit down as he closed the door.

"He called and said we needed to talk about graduation, so I used Esme's car to come down here." I whispered to him.

"What about graduation?"

I shrugged my shoulders because I had no idea, but all of the worst scenarios had run through my head on the way over here.

"Don't worry, Bella, you _are_ graduating." He said while patting my hand to comfort me. I gave him a small nod in thanks and Mr. Kirkpatrick started speaking.

"Of course she's graduating and that's what I wanted to discuss." He sat down at his desk and scooted his chair forward before folding his hands and giving us an authoritative look. "Being the top two of your class you will be sharing the title of Valedictorian and we would like you to deliver the speech together."

We both looked at each other with wide eyes and mouths and then looked back at the principal.

**A/N – **

**Baby shower colors – Bella and Edward both mention it, but never say it's light orange, green, and yellow.**

**Bree's Background – Most of it is based on info from The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner**

**I don't know why, but I've had that "Julie" confab in my head for awhile and I really wanted to share it. I guess we all probably know someone unfit like that and I've never met a nice Julie. **

**Hooters – A restaurant with scantily clad women as servers. Apparently they have chains in many other countries, but it's mainly based in the US, so I thought I would just clear that up now. As a side note, I don't think poorly of the servers, it just fit the scene and the character. **

**The principal – I looked back and I've always just called him 'the principal' so I made up a name. :) **

**Valedictorian - ****the student usually having the highest rank in a graduating class who delivers the ****valedictory**** address at the commencement exercises. This is the definition from Webster's because I had some questions about it last chapter, but basically it's just the student with the highest GPA (the best grades) who gets to give the speech at graduation this is why it's been controversial that there's been more than one because it's argued that there can't be more than one number one.**

**The next chapter is almost done, I swear to you, and since I was such a stuck up biotch last chapter I promise to do a big ass teaser like I was doing. :)**

**Review for teaser. **


	23. Chapter 23 The Commencement

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, but I do own vegetable tamales.**

**A/N – **

**I didn't mention last chapter that the Rpatz reference in chapter 21 was being dressed up as a girl and called Claudia…which was said in an interview that his sisters did, so the 'Claudia' thing was not from Interview with the Vampire, although I do love that character. **

**Also from that chapter TB got its 600****th**** review from Spiffilicious who got a special teaser. Maybe I can do something cool like that for the 700****th**** review *wink wink hint hint*. :)**

**I think everyone's favorite line from the last chapter was the uterus one! lol**

**I love you guys and thank you for your continued support! Every pm and review are important to me and I do try to answer every single one. This chapter is unbeta'd, but it's such a quick update that I'm hoping you will forgive me. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

**Previously on TB –**

"_Of course she's graduating and that's what I wanted to discuss." He sat down at his desk and scooted his chair forward before folding his hands and giving us an authoritative look. "Being the top two of your class you will be sharing the title of Valedictorian and we would like you to deliver the speech together."_

_We both looked at each other with wide eyes and mouths and then looked back at the principal._

**Chapter 23**

**The Commencement **

**EPOV – **_**Mid May**_

We sat at the dining room table because it was already determined that we couldn't get anything done on our bed, well nothing that contributed to our speech anyway.

We each had a notebook in front of us and both of our pages were blank. Bella tapped her pen nervously on her page and then started chewing on the pen cap again. I had better shit that I could be doing rather than just sitting here watching Bella eat her pen, so I spoke up.

"Ok, so I'll start and –"

"Hey! Why do you get to start?"

"Fine. You can start."

"Wait! I don't want to start. What the hell am I supposed to say? Aren't you supposed to start with a joke because I'm no good at jokes!"

"Ok, I'll start."

"Ugh, you're gonna say something great and profound and then I'm going to have to follow that. How can I follow that!"

"Bella, someone is going to have to start and I don't care who it is and I don't care what is said, but we need to finish this, fuck, we at least need to start it!"

She narrowed her eyes in at me with the pen still hanging out of her mouth and then she slowly removed it, but kept her eyes on me until the very last second and then she moved her stare to her page, she brought the pen down, and started writing furiously.

We had decided that we would just write our speeches like we would've if we were giving the speech solo and then adjust them to mesh together. I wasn't quite sure about this method since it wasn't really '_we' _that had decided, but it was better than Bella just yelling at everything I said, so at least now I could feel like we were making progress even if we weren't.

It turned out that a couple of hours later we had made great progress and the fifty some sheets of paper with notes, scribbles, and even a doodle of Bella and I in our cap and gowns were all around us.

"Surprise everyone, I come with the final touches for the graduation party!" Alice yelled while walking into the dining room carrying a big, brown box.

She had been on a rampage lately arranging our graduation party which I'm pretty sure she started doing last September, but recently she had been working on the 'final touches' and also incorporating Bella into the party. At first Bella insisted that we not change anything and that it should just remain the 'Twin Shindig" that Alice had originally planned, but the whole family agreed that Bella's accomplishment should be observed just as much as ours and it wasn't like her piece of shit father was going to do anything for her. I still hated that motherfucker, but a loud banging on the table regained my attention. I looked up to see the box that Alice just dropped in between Bella and I.

"What's all this?" I asked.

"I hope neither one of you are opposed to a little breaking and entering…and theft too I suppose, but I just couldn't have my party theme ruined!"

This was when Bella reached into the box and pulled something out with a gasp. It was a framed picture and not just any picture by the look on her face. I noticed a little girl with dark eyes and brown pigtails sitting on the Easter Bunny's lap. I quickly swiped it out of her hands, which was easy since she was virtually in shock and was barely holding on. The little girl was all dressed for Easter and even had little, white gloves on which was easy to see because her hand was holding a lollipop up to her mouth.

"Oh my God, this is you!" I said looking at the cute little face and then I turned to Alice. "Oh my God, you broke into the Chief's house!"

"It's not like he's going to arrest me." She said with a shrug and an eye roll and then reached for the box.

"Wait! Can I just look at these for a sec?" Bella asked in a small voice.

"Sure, I'll be back after I confirm the delivery time with the caterers." She said as she whisked her way out of the room. Graduation was next weekend and Alice was an uncontrollable whirlwind at the moment, well more so than usual.

I put the picture down and Bella picked it right back up.

"I was two in this picture and I refused to sit on the bunny's lap unless I got the sucker first, so I just sat there and ate it while they took the picture."

I just nodded my head because it looked like she was going to cry any second.

"This one is my hospital picture." She said as she lay down a picture of a sleeping newborn.

"This one…" She began as she reached blindly into the box and grabbed another photo. "I – I can't do this. I'm going to bed." She set down the picture which clattered loudly on the table and left the room abruptly. I looked down at the offending picture to see a five or six year old Bella standing next to a younger version of Chief Swan, stache and all, with fishing poles in hand and the lake behind them. On Bella's was a really big fish and an equally big smile on both of their faces.

Just then Alice returned and I told her not to set that one out during the party and she shook her head in a way that I guessed meant that she wouldn't have dreamt of it.

I took the one off the top before Alice put the rest back in and left with them. It was Bella's Junior year picture and I just smiled at it. I remembered seeing her that day because it was one of the few times she wore a dress at school. I walked into our room and Bella was sitting up in the bed reading a book, but I wasn't sure which one.

"Hey, have I told you lately that you look hot in a dress?" I said as I moved my eyebrows provocatively and set the picture down on the nightstand.

"Not since last week." She said without missing a beat.

We went to bed shortly after that, but both of us lay awake for awhile in the dark.

"You know Alice won't put that picture out for the party."

"I know."

"Are you ok with the other ones?"

"Yeah, it's actually really nice that you guys are even letting me have a party with you. You know it would be ok if you didn't add a cake or put any pictures out. I still think it should be about you guys."

"Bella, stop acting like you're intruding. It's about all of us. You're a part of this family now."

"That's good because I'm awfully fond of this family, especially you." She said quietly as she nuzzled her face into my neck and then started placing soft kisses up to my ear that gave me goose bumps.

"I may be somewhat partial to you also." I said while failing to conceal how turned on I was.

"Is that so? Well, I might be partial to you _out_ of this shirt." She whispered into my ear.

It took me .2 seconds to register what she was saying and begin to take off the shirt, but in my haste my arm got caught and when I jerked back I heard a loud crashing sound on the floor.

"Shit" I mumbled and reached for the light.

I instinctively squinted my eyes at the bright light that contrasted the darkness that my eyes were used to, but it only took me a moment to realize it was Bella's picture that I had knocked down and now lay shattered and broken on the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I said as Bella peered over me.

"That's ok, it's just the frame. Let me go get the broom."

"No! I mean, just wait here, I don't want you to cut your feet."

She looked like she wanted to object, but she just lay back down instead and I put on my shoes and got the broom and dust pan. When I got back to the room I knelt to the floor and carefully picked up the big shards of glass before sweeping up the small pieces. I opened up the back of the frame to salvage the picture before throwing out the broken frame and when I did a stack of pictures fell onto my lap.

"Fuck, I think Alice is going to cream her pants." I mumbled without thinking first. This caused Bella to sit up and look at what I was doing.

"Oh my God! I had no idea he saved all of these pictures. I guess I didn't even realize that my mom sent him one every year."

The one on the bottom featured a very small Bella with bangs and brown hair all around her and a smile full of little teeth. I guessed that the pictures started with pre-school and ended with this past year. She was no longer looking at the pictures having had rolled over in the bed and I put the pile on the nightstand making a mental note to give them to Alice in the morning. She already had every school picture of her and I framed and ready to go downstairs along with other photos and every little trophy, plaque, and ribbon we had ever earned. When Alice asked Bella if she had anything like that she said that she had won a spelling bee in sixth grade, but the trophy was lost in one of the many moves she endured living with her erratic mother. She also mentioned some sort of participatory trophy from a ballet class she had taken when she was very small, but it was just one of those little ones that everyone received, that you don't have to do anything to actually earn, and her voice was much different when she spoke of the spelling bee one. She was obviously proud of it and it made me sad that her mother obviously wasn't. I thought about having a replacement one made for her, but it just wouldn't have been the same.

Nothing else was said and after the mess was cleaned up, the light went off, and we went to sleep without any words…or anything else.

~ E B ~

Bella was standing in front of the mirror, holding the index cards, and reciting her part of the speech for the bazillionth fucking time.

"Bella, you know this shit and you're going to do great." I said confidently before I kissed her on the cheek.

"I get so nervous talking in front of people and then they say to picture the audience in their underwear and I really don't want to picture Mr. Banner or Mike Newton in their underwear, so now I probably will and then it will just make me more nervous and what if my water breaks all over the stage in front of everyone!"

Her hands were waving wildly in the air and I don't think she took one breath throughout that whole rant.

"Breathe, Bella. You can just picture me in my underwear, like I am right now." I had just gotten out of the shower and I only had my boxers, and a smirk, on and Bella quickly looked down to just now notice that I was in fact only wearing underwear. She smacked my arm and turned back to the mirror. I stood behind her, so that my near nakedness wouldn't distract her, and I placed both hands on her stomach.

"Don't worry. Joey's not due for over a month and with all the rest you've been getting the doctor isn't worried at all."

"I know. It's just that I'm so nervous."

"Don't be. You'll do great. I love you." I whispered in her ear.

~E B~

"Dear Class of 2010 it is with great honor that we address you today, but first I think we should address the elephant in the room." I turned and looked at Bella.

"Edward, you know I don't like it when you call me an elephant." She said feigning seriousness and then looked at me and smirked before turning her attention back to the crowd. "Classmates, faculty, and guests, it _is_ a great honor to be here today and although we are ending a very big chapter in our lives, we are beginning a bigger, and hopefully, better one as adults, as stewards of the future.

"There weren't too many choices that we were able to make in the beginning of our academic career. I for one didn't even get the Minnie Mouse backpack that I wanted or the Twinkies in my lunch that I requested every day, but as time went on we gained more and more independence until now here we stand with the rest of our lives in front of us and a world of possibilities within our reach and although it saddens me that this part of my life is over, and I am struggling to fight back the tears as I see many of you are also, I say 'Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened'. Our experiences thus far have been many and hopefully many of them have been great, but we still have so many ahead of us, we still have so many choices left to make."

Bella really was fighting back tears and in the brief moments that I wasn't watching Bella perfectly deliver her portion of the speech I could see that many of the people, mostly moms it seemed, had already lost the battle and dabbed their faces with tissues. Bella looked up at me and smiled as I instantly picked up where she left off.

"With all the choices we have ahead of us we should know now that not all of them will be the right ones, but not all the wrong ones will be bad either. 'In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.' And it is with that that I urge all of you, my fellow classmates, my peers, to leave here today and choose to do _something_."

When I paused and looked up from my note card I noticed the auditorium door closing after someone walking out. Who in the fuck walks out in the middle of the fucking ceremony? Rude ass motherfucker.

The rest of the speech went smoothly and just as planned. No stuttering, no water breaking, and no inappropriate words. An all around success if I do say so myself…and I believe I just did. We were one of the first ones to get our diploma as we were seated on the stage with other high ranking graduates such as the honor society and the salutatorian, Angela Weber. The principal and the superintendent had their own speech and I was pretty sure it was the same exact shit they said last year when my brother graduated.

Finally, it was over and we threw our hats and were happy mother fuckers, or at least I was, you know happy not the other part.

It was Bedlam in the entire gymnasium. Everybody was mingling and hugging and just being in the way. I kept a tight hold on Bella's hand as we walked through all of the people. It was like everyone was trying to talk over each other all at once and the buzzing noise was loud, but I still heard my name being yelled.

"Edward! Edward!" The tiny voice yelled…and it had been doing a lot of yelling lately.

"Alice, congratulations." I said as I kissed my sister's cheek.

She hugged me tightly before hugging and talking to Bella. Our parents followed closely behind her with Emmett and Rose and repeated the whole hugging and congratulatory routine.

As we were leaving the gymnasium we were stopped by yet another person. Unfortunately this person was Jessica aka Skank Face and she totally ignored me and addressed Bella, for this alone I wanted to punch the bitch in the face, but I didn't and not because she was a girl, but because I feared for the health of my hand.

"Hey Chubbs, I just wanted to tell you that your speech sucked." She said bitterly.

"Well, you are the expert on sucking aren't you? And I will lose weight after our baby is born, but you'll always have herpes." Bella squinted her eyes into a skeptical look as she pointed towards Jessica's lipstick smothered mouth.

Bella was smug as she insulted Jessica and in no way showed that Jessica's remarks had fazed her, which I imagined they didn't, she merely walked away with my hand still clasped with hers and I followed without another glance towards Skanky.

When we finally made it to the parking lot we still had a few hours until our party. Most people, including Jasper, were having their open house tomorrow. If it hadn't been for Mrs. Hale putting her foot down, Alice would've probably planned his party too but Mrs. Hale wasn't having any of that, so Alice backed down pretty quickly, but I think that just meant she put extra effort into ours.

Everyone was going to lunch which I didn't understand after Alice made such a fuss about the whole catering thing, but apparently it was a tradition.

Bella spoke up and said that she was too tired and that she just wanted to lie down and rest before the whole tedious party started and she would have to be on her feet again. I knew that she had been really stressed about today. It wasn't a lie and I told everyone that I would take her home and that we would just eat later. I think everyone wanted to dispute, especially Alice, but no one did, not that I gave them the chance.

We hung up our gowns in the closet and changed into something more comfortable before crawling under the blankets. I drew the curtains and the room was fairly dark for being daytime. Bella nuzzled up against me and I was nearly asleep when she started talking.

"Edward?"

"Yeah"

"Does it feel good to be a high school graduate?"

"Yeah, baby, it feels good." I chuckled. "How about you?"

"I didn't think it would happen so yeah, it feels really good." I just kissed her head in return because there wasn't much to be said in response to that. "Do you still think we should get married next week?"She asked.

"No, I don't think we should get married. I _know_ we should and I already told you the date is irrelevant. If you want to wait we'll wait."

"I'm just nervous. It feels like everything is happening so fast."

"That's just life, baby."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, our life."

~E B~

When we finally made our way downstairs the house was full of guests. The large room near the back of the house had been cleared of all the furniture and had been filled with tables and chairs and of course many decorations in the school's colors of blue and gold. The large table opposite of the entryway held all of our pictures and such.

Most of our family had passed on or we didn't keep in touch, but many of Carlisle and Esme's associates had come, not to mention just random people from the community because that's one of the joys of living in a small town. I was currently being introduced to one of the doctors that worked with my dad and when I was finally released from some conversation about the human digestive system I saw that Bella had drifted over to the table.

I walked up behind her to see that she was clutching something in her hands. I looked closer to see that it was a trophy with a wooden bottom and a gold colored bee ornament on the top. Oh my…

"Is that…?"

She nodded her head, but didn't say anything.

"Hey, Bells!"

Bella and I both jerked around to see Billy Black sitting behind us and I moved back some to give them more space. She knelt down to give him a hug and he told her how proud he was of her…it was heartwarming and unnerving at the same time.

"I see your dad has finally cleaned out his basement. Have you talked to him?" His voice was full of hope.

"No, Alice had gotten this from him. I actually didn't even know he had it until now."

"Oh, he has all your childhood things - boxes of Barbies, school papers, clothes, all kinds of things. Renee sent them awhile back. He wasn't very happy about it, mostly because she never asked him or spoke to him at all really. He felt like she was just using him for storage and when he told her so, she told him to just throw the stuff away if it was that big of a problem. He never did."

Bella was fighting back tears, but she just set the trophy down and put a smile on that only looked somewhat forced.

"Thanks, Billy. I'm going to go find Jake now." She said quietly.

She sat with Jacob across the room for awhile, just talking, and I gave them their privacy and talked with some friends from school. Well, they weren't really my friends and I wasn't really talking to them. They were just dudes from school and I was just standing there while they talked. I looked at Bella more than I looked at anything else.

She had gotten a plate full of food and had found Emily and they were sitting and talking at one of the tables while Sam and Jake were nearby talking to each other. I wanted to go over there, but I held back. She talked to her friends on the phone almost daily, but she didn't get to see them very often and I knew it wouldn't get any better with the baby coming and our impending move.

People came and went, moved around and socialized, but I just stayed in one spot and let people come to me until finally they stopped. I had only been standing alone for a second when someone small pressed against my side, wrapped her arm around my waist, and leaned her head on me.

"Everything looks great, Alice. Thank you."

"It does look great, doesn't it?" She giggled playfully.

"How did you find the trophy?" I asked seriously.

"I didn't. Someone found it for me."

"Quit being cryptic."

"Charlie woke up…or rather sobered up…when I was leaving and I asked him about it. He went and found the trophy and more pictures and then gave me a hug." Her tone was so blasé like she was talking about running into a neighbor at the grocery store instead of the police chief in the middle of his house that she broke into. "You know, things aren't always the way they seem or the way you perceive them. Charlie has had a really hard time too."

"Whoa, back the fuck up just a minute. And 'Charlie' for real?" She shrugged and kept her calm, innocent expression. I swore I had no idea how Alice remained so forgiving and able to see the good side of people when I swore most didn't even have one.

"He told me to call him Charlie." She said it like it just explained everything. "Edward" She said soothingly. "I know he did some dickhead things just like you have, but you have to separate the actions from the person."

"Sometimes there is no separation." I ground out between clenched teeth.

"Charlie almost lost his job. Did you know that?"

"Or maybe he forsake it like he did his only child."

"No, it just took him longer to hit rock bottom than you and even longer to try to rise back up."

"Listen, Alice." I started harshly.

"Hey, you guys." Bella said happily. "Wait. What's wrong?" She asked concerned.

"Nothing, Love, we were just having a heated discussion about the correct pronunciation of the province Quebec." I didn't like to lie to her, but it came out easily and smooth.

"Edward, not again, for the last time it's 'kay-beck' and you just need to accept that." She shook her head and gave Alice an apologetic look.

"Alice, everything is…just better than I could've ever imagined." She said emotionally and gave her a hug before we made our way to the cake.

~E B~

The day had been long, even with a nap, and when we finally made it back upstairs we collapsed on the bed after the quickest change of clothes and brushing of the teeth we had ever done.

"Next week you'll be mine forever." She whispered into the crook of my neck.

"I'm already yours forever, Mrs. Cullen."

I really liked the sound of that and I think Bella did too since I could see her smiling, even in the dark.

**A/N - **

**The Easter Bunny Photo – As described it is actually my picture with the Easter Bunny when I was 2 years old. Maybe I should steal it from my crack head mother's house and scan it. *ponders for a moment* The others are just made up.**

**Graduation Speech – I wrote it and I actually had no plan for it I just sat down a spewed a bunch of stuff **

**Twinkies – Spongy, crème filled snack cakes made by Hostess. This was a joke because my daughter feels sad when she can't eat Twinkies at school when her friends do, but not **_**that**_** sad since she knows they're full of cow fat **

**Quotes - "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss **

**"In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." Theodore Roosevelt**

**Open House - synonymous with Graduation Party**

**Grand Theft Alice – an APOV of the thievery will be posted in the outtakes, so if you haven't put it on alert yet you may want to**

**Quebec – I just pulled something out of the air for the made up argument which actually is an argument (well, not really an argument) that my husband and I have had. Anybody from Quebec? Oui?**

**Next chapter is the wedding…can I get a "fuck yeah!"!**


	24. Chapter 24 The Wedding

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight, but I do own a cupcake calendar. **

**A/N – **

*****HEY NEW READERS*** I have recently got a huge influx of new readers, but have no idea where you guys have came from. So, if someone has sent you to TB please let me know, so I can thank them. :)**

**I heard this song and said "This is the song for the wedding chapter!" I love it and it has been added to the playlist (link on profile) in case you would like to hear it in its entirety (do it!) and honestly I know nothing about this song except that I like it, but I'm pretty sure it's a dude singing to Jesus, which is cool, but in my mind it's Edward signing to Bella, for the most part anyway. *Apparently this song has been pulled from playlist, but it might get reposted. Until then I suggest googling it***

**Thank you to all of the awesome readers, you blow me away with your continued support! Special thanks to Beta Lulu and KRYork for talking me down from the ledge when I get so overwhelmed and frustrated with everything. This chapter is unbeta'd for now, but I think we've all waited long enough. Ok, on with the show!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 24**

**The Wedding**

_**AKA "Something Beautiful"**_

_Hey now, this is my desire  
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful  
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach  
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful  
Oh, something beautiful_

And the water is risin' quick  
And for years I was scared of it  
We can't be sure when it will subside  
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side

_Something Beautiful by NEEDTOBREATHE_

**Previous Chapter – **

_Chapter 23 was graduation, party, and Alice breaking in to Chief Swan's house. There was also a lot of pre-wedding mushiness. _

**EPOV ~ Day after graduation**

I woke up early and went downstairs to eat and pace around. I wanted Bella's graduation present to be here on graduation day, but I didn't hate myself that much. I already knew she was probably going to freak the fuck out, so I decided that the day after graduation would probably be better when instead of a huge audience, it would just be family here.

Carlisle and Esme were already awake. They were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, and ignoring me as I walked back and forth in front of the window. Everyone else was still asleep, including Emmett and Rose who were staying the week since their summer break had already began.

After several aggravated sighs and looks from my father, I pouted, and slouched into an empty chair at the table. In an attempt to avoid staring out the window I settled for reading the front page of the newspaper that Carlisle was holding in front of him. The headline read:

**SEVERAL LOCAL BUSINESSES ROBBED DURING GRADUATION**

I leaned forward as I read about a supposed burglary ring that had planned the ultimate heist on Main Street. They struck when most of the town was busy at the high school and it was said that they were probably casing the businesses and planning this for months. Bullshit. It was probably a few punk kids that knew damn well most of the people were at the graduation ceremony and I would hardly call robbing Newton's and the five and dime "the ultimate heist". I scoffed at the pathetic attempt at sensationalism made by The Forks Herald. I quit reading after that and let my head fall to the table because I was tired, but too lazy to get up and get a cup of coffee.

As soon as I heard the crunching gravel of the driveway signaling someone's approach I bolted up the stairs feeling suddenly revived by the excitement I felt.

"Bella! Bella, wake up!" I said a little too loudly because I was having difficulty controlling my enthusiasm…and volume.

"Go away." She grumbled at me.

"But your graduation present is here." I practically whined.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, I'm going to go back to sleep and pretend like you didn't just say that." And with that she buried her face into the pillow.

"But-" I began.

"Take it back!" She yelled, but it was muffled by the pillow.

"Um, it's not really returnable." I said sheepishly. I was tempted to go closer to her, perhaps nuzzle against her in the bed, but decided to stay where I was standing.

She turned her head and looked at me with her disheveled hair falling all around her face framing the annoyed expression it wore. I just returned her gaze, my once happy expression a little dampened by her reaction. If it was this bad already I didn't have much hope for when she saw what it was.

She slowly got out of bed and walked up to me, stood in front of me, and softly lay her head on me which was right below my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but it just makes me feel so bad when you give me stuff." She said quietly.

"Well, that's really sad that the things I do for you to make you happy have the opposite effect on you. I only do it to see you happy because that makes me happy." I said in a low tone with conviction.

"You do make me happy! I don't need stuff to be happy, you're enough!" She shouted matching my conviction.

"I know, but I like doing things for you. I like giving you things."

"But what am I supposed to give you? I don't have anything to contribute."

"Bella, that's not true."

She shook her head and looked down, so I gently pushed her chin with one finger until she was looking into my eyes.

"Don't say it, Edward."

"Don't say what?"

"Something trite and –"

"I wasn't going to state the obvious if that's what you're insinuating." I sighed before continuing. "Things aren't balanced between us. You think I don't know this? They never have been and maybe they never will be, but let me assure you that the scales have always been tipped in your favor." She opened her mouth to protest, but I placed one finger on her lips to stop her. "Bella, it's not even about how beautiful and sexy you are, which you are, it's about what a beautiful person you are on the inside, how you brought something beautiful into my life, and changed it forever. I love you, Bella, so let me buy you something nice."

She nodded her head while tears streamed silently down her cheeks and I kissed each one away. I just held her for a moment until my father called up to me. I knew I had some business to attend to with the driver who had just pulled up, so I gave Bella one more kiss and told her to meet me downstairs.

She grabbed her clothes and took off into the bathroom to get ready for the day and I went back downstairs to check on the present.

~TB~

"Do you really think this was a good idea, Edward?"

"Dad, we talked about this. We both know it's something that Bella needs and she just needed a little help getting it."

"Help? You arranged everything and made all the decisions and now you're getting ready to spring it on her. It's not the gift that I'm doubting, it's how you're going about this."

Before I could object Bella strolled in with her wet hair pulled up in a bun and a casual tank top and capris on. She headed straight for the toaster; she has had a thing for bagels for weeks now.

"Good morning." She said as she looked up at us. I tried to move over to block the window, I don't know why it was futile, but I did anyway.

"Oh, I didn't know we had company. Who's here?"

"Um, let's go outside."

"But, what about my bagel?" She asked as she pointed to the toaster as if we would never return or it simply wouldn't pop up out of the toaster without her standing there monitoring it.

"We'll be right back." I grabbed her hand and led her out of the door before she could respond.

"What are we doing?" She sounded like she was starting to get a little annoyed. That was not a good sign because it would probably only get worse.

"Remember I told you about the graduation present?"

"Yes" She said slowly like she wasn't really understanding.

"Well…happy graduation!" I said as I threw my arms out towards the car in front of us.

"It's a car." She said flatly.

"No. It's _your_ car." I said in a happy tone.

The brief second I looked passed Bella I noticed that everyone was watching out of the window and I gave my dad a dirty look because his stance of crowding the best view just screamed that he had orchestrated their spying mission.

Bella's eyes got very wide and her lips were pressed really tightly together, almost pursed but not quite, it was as if she was purposely holding them together as not to say something rash.

"What do you think?" I hedged and after a minute and a very deep breath she calmed slightly.

"It's beautiful. It looks like your car got it on with an SUV and this was their baby."

I just laughed because there wasn't much to say to that especially since it was the truth.

"Yeah, it's a Volvo just like my car. So you like it?"

She took another big breath, in and out of her nose, before she spoke. "Well, of course I like it. What's not to like? It's all shiny and fancy, but really Edward?" She huffed. "I'm sorry, I thought I could be more gracious about accepting your gift because I know it means a lot to you, but honestly I'm a little speechless. I didn't expect anything like _this_." She waved her hands exasperatedly and abruptly towards the car.

"Oh…well, if you want something different there are a lot of other models or colors. We could get a different color if that's the problem." I said in a hurried pace, a little panicked I suppose.

"No, I don't think I could pick something nicer if I tried, it's just that this is so expensive that I can't help but to feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation, of your parents."

"My parents? What do they have to do with anything?" Yes, my cluelessness knows no bounds.

"Well, they've let me live here and eat for free and Esme won't even let me cook and clean most of the time and speaking of Esme, she did more work helping me graduate, with honors, then I think Mr. Smith has done all year."

"My parents didn't buy this. I did, with my money." And it continues.

Yes, this was a conversation that we should've had already, long before we were standing in front of the $50,000 car I just bought her.

"Do you just love it? Because I love it and I really, really thought you'd love it!"Alice exclaimed while rolling up and down on the balls of her feet and clapping her hands. She's so small and stealthy that I hadn't even noticed her sneak up on us.

"How? How on Earth would _you_ be able to afford this, Edward? If it's from your trust fund then it's still like their money." Her eyes were locked on mine and she never acknowledged Alice's presence. This was not good.

I did a sharp intake of breath, but didn't get any words out before I was interrupted.

"Um, shouldn't you guys have talked about this before now?" Alice interjected.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious, but do you think we can have a moment alone?" I was clearly agitated at Alice, but I was far more aggravated at myself. This wasn't something I should've just sprung on Bella, the money was something I should have brought up a long time ago, but I'm the king of avoidance.

"Bella, why don't we have a seat and talk about this?" I said smoothly and added the best half smile I could possibly conjure.

She seemed momentarily dazzled and if I played my cards right and made this convo go as quickly as possible it might not be that bad…right?

"Ok" She said in a fairly indifferent tone.

She started towards the porch where there was a bench, but I gently put my hand on her arm to stop her.

"Why don't we just have a seat in the car?" Insert dazzling smile number two right here, maybe I should ration these before they lost their potency.

She made no response, either favorable or negative, but she allowed me to guide her to the car. I opened the driver's side door for her to get in and then quickly slid into the passenger seat before she could change her mind and go back for her long forgotten bagel.

"Wow, it smells really good in here." She said absentmindedly as her eyes roamed over all the buttons, knobs, and otherwise interesting things that littered the dashboard.

Once again Alice appeared out of nowhere and interjected her head in between us from the back seat. I think Bella had felt obligated to finally acknowledge her .

"Hey, Alice." She said without much feeling, of course that was in comparison to Alice who was one big smile at the moment.

"Hey, Bella! I love your new car! I think the TV screens back here are my favorite, the baby will like them when it gets older."

Bella didn't say anything, but her mouth did make a little 'O' shape and her eyes did narrow in on me slightly.

"Not. Helping." I grounded out to Alice.

"Right. So, I'll let you two talk and you know, check out the awesome new car!" She nudged Bella a little on the arm, but she was ignored. I gave Alice a look that distinctly said _'Still not helping!'_ and finally, she gave up, impervious to our responses, and skipped back to the house.

"So, why don't we take a drive?" I smiled at her and she slowly started the car and buckled her seat belt for her.

"You know, Edward, one of these days that handsome smile of yours isn't going to work on me anymore." She said seriously as she turned the car around to pull out of the driveway.

"Yeah, but that's not today, right?" I asked waggishly while giving her another stunning and very crooked smile.

She only shook her head in response, in more of a disbelieving gesture than a negative response. "So, tell me about your finances, Mr. Money Bags."

"Well, there's not that much to tell. I already told you I wrote music. Well, when I was younger I sold some of my pieces. My mother actually arranged it, but yeah, several were sold to movies and such and the proceeds were put into a trust fund that was set up for me for when I turned 18. Then when my mother passed away a sum of money was added for the purposes of college." There was a moment of silence that I decided I needed to fill. "At least that was the reason she had given, she just wanted to make sure that we were taken care of."

I was a little overcome, I didn't talk about my mother that often and when I did I became a sentimental pussy. I stared out the window to notice that Bella was driving towards the edge of town. It was a scenic route with a lot of trees, it was nice, calming.

"So, anything I've heard before?" She asked quietly breaking my trance of staring out the window.

"What?"

"The music…that you wrote, anything that I would have heard?"

"Um, yeah." I said hesitantly. "You know the Jaws theme song?"

"Of course." She replied instantly and I didn't say anything. "Wait, you wrote that!"

"Sure. It was fairly easy, I was just goofing around, but mom always recorded what I played you know because it was the mom thing to do, but then she decided to play it for some big wig movie executives or some shit, I don't know I was like five, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Fuck" it came out as a whisper and I didn't say anything. "So, how much money _do_ you have?"

"Enough? A lot? Fuck, I don't know the exact amount, but if you want to go over the account information with my dad or the accountant we can."

"No. No, the money doesn't matter to me; I don't need to go over anything."

"Of course. We can do that after we're married, you know add your name to accounts, change around Joey's account, do wills, assess investments. All that grown up shit." I laughed, but Bella looked a little pale.

"So, how do you like the car?" I asked smoothly, effectively changing the subject.

"I love it and I love you." She said sincerely as she pulled off onto a dirt road that was hidden by a lot of trees, similar to my driveway except this one was an old logging road that hadn't been used in years.

"I don't want to talk about money anymore and I don't want any more extravagant gifts. I just want you, Edward." She said in a husky voice as she leaned over and captured my lips with hers.

It began as a slow kiss, passionate, but then quickly heated up. Tongues became involved and then her hand slowly made its way up my arm and neck until it rested on my head and her fingers became intertwined in my hair, gently tugging the way she knows I love.

My hand, not so covertly, headed straight for her breast and remained there until we moved to the backseat. And that's how Bella's car was christened not an hour after she received it.

I drove the car home, while Bella happily smiled and rested her hand on my leg from the passenger seat. We had also stopped for breakfast on the way home since it seemed I had deprived someone of their bagel.

~TB~

A few weeks prior we had been sitting in the meadow talking about wedding plans sans family interference which was the whole reason behind the secluded location, well that and really we just liked coming out here.

"So, we could get married here in the meadow." I had imagined the whole scene and it was more of an errant thought than a plausible suggestion, not only was the hike to get here a factor, but in all actuality, I really didn't want to taint our private sanctuary with other people.

"Yeah, we could also get married in Vegas, but that's not happening either."

"Well, I see why getting married here in the meadow isn't reasonable, but we could totally get married in Vegas." I said trying to be helpful because it was her first suggestion.

"Yeah, except I'm as a big as a house and can't fly in an airplane and we're not even 21, we couldn't do shit even if my houseness wasn't a factor."

_Do not correct her English, do not correct her English, do not…_

She gave me a challenging look, but a part of being pregnant was that she could make up words without ridicule or correction, she could have me get ice cream at 2 am, and she could steal my sweatpants indefinitely. This was life and I had accepted it long ago.

"Ok, so not here and not out of the great state of Washington, so what does that leave us for options?"

"A church? I don't know I guess that's where I just always pictured getting married." She shrugged.

"Yeah, we can get married in a church." We could get married on the moon for all I cared. "So, Alice will be thrilled to do all the decorating shit and I'll ask my dad about which church, and then I guess we'll just have to make a guest list."

"Oh yeah, there'll have to be flowers and people in all of those pews and then there's the aisle…"

She didn't elaborate and she didn't have to.

"Don't worry, Bella. Alice has been bugging us since the day we got engaged about colors and dresses and cake and all that shit. She'll help and Esme and my dad."

She nodded, but I could tell that she was still bothered by it, but I wasn't sure how I could really fix it so I kept my mouth shut. That was the best way not to make it worse.

"It's getting late." She said quietly as she stood up to leave.

I followed her, but gently put my hand on her arm to stop her. She turned around with a sad look on her face.

"Bella, we can get married however you like. I will be happy as long as I get to call you my wife when it's all said and done." And that was the truth.

~TB~ A few days later

Lately Bella's mood had been sporadic at best and surly at worst. Some might say "Nothing new.", but it was new, it was different, and I didn't fucking like it. I hated it. I knew it went beyond pregnant, hormonal moodiness. I knew this because I knew that it was directly related to the wedding and yeah, I was taking that shit personally because hey, when you're the only other person directly involved in something, that's pretty fucking personal.

I tried to talk to her about it, but that was a fucking lost cause if there ever was one. All I got was "everything's fine" and "nothing's wrong" and I was really tired of being lied to so I quit asking. That was two days ago, two days since we had the wedding venue discussion in the meadow.

A few days later we arrived at the Clallam County courthouse to get the marriage license before we inquired at any of the local churches. It didn't seem like Bella was looking forward to any of it, and that should've made me angry, it should've pissed me the fuck off, but it didn't…it just really saddened me.

It was early in the morning, barely 8 o'clock, and here we were with my father who had insisted on bringing us. I was currently ignoring his chipper mood, seriously it was way too early for that shit, and I was preoccupying myself with reading the information that he had printed off from the Clerk's office website. Bella and I were following him down the large corridor. He in front, me behind not paying attention because I was reading, and Bella was silently hanging off my arm.

"Oh, look." I said with fake enthusiasm. "It says right here that the marriage license is good for 90 days. You know just in case you wanted to wait until after Joey is born."

I only said this because Esme had thought that maybe Bella was upset about the wedding gown and not being able to fit into one that she wanted. I didn't think that was it, but I had come to the realization that my knowledge of the opposite sex was limited at best, and non-existent realistically, so it sounded feasible that Bella may want to postpone the wedding until after the baby was born.

"Edward" She addressed me in a terse tone and I instantly knew I had failed. "I thought the date was the one thing that was completely decided." She didn't sound so abrupt anymore, more of exasperated and tired. Well, so much for that theory, Esme.

"Of course, Love." I said in my most soothing voice as I moved my hand softly back and forth on the small of her back. "It was just an observation. You know how I feel about the date, I'm thrilled you chose sooner rather than later." I finished, remembering the first conversation we had in the meadow just moments after we had become engaged. I gave her a small kiss and that seemed to be the end of that as she leaned calmly against me once again.

We had continued to walk, but then Bella suddenly stopped and slowly drifted away from me and towards a glass door. She nearly pressed her face against it as I walked up behind her and peered over her shoulder to see what had caught her attention.

In the middle of the courthouse, outside, cocooned in the middle of the old, stone walls was a beautiful garden. Given the time of year, it was in full bloom. Green vines climbed the walls and beautiful flowers lined the base. They were bright and plentiful, but not overdone, mostly whites and purples among the bright green of the other plants and bushes. Well manicured, little square, bushes were strategically placed near the stone benches that must've dated back to when the actual courthouse was built in 1882. But the best part, the pièce de résistance if you will, was the large fountain in the middle, the heart, of the garden.

After a moment of silently staring at the beautiful sight, and I'm mostly referring to Bella's smile, we made our way, once again, down the corridor and upstairs a few floors.

I suppose the benefit of getting to the courthouse at the ungodly hour that it opens was not having to wait in line. I yawned slightly as the sour-faced woman called us forward and began asking us a billion questions. It was mainly just basic, identification and residency questions, nothing too difficult.

Bella was shifting nervously next to me, but the woman barely paid attention to our answers let alone anything else. Her eyes were downward almost the entire time as she pecked away at her keyboard, finally lifting to request the payment which I instantly handed over.

"Ok, so where would you like the certificate sent for signing?" She, the sour-faced woman, asked but I only blinked dumbly in response.

"Where is your wedding being held? Whoever is officiating will need to sign it and mail it back." She asked without giving much pause for my inability to answer. I was just going to respond that we didn't know yet and I was actually nervous to tell her that because for some reason she kind of scared me, but Bella spoke instead.

"Is there a judge here that would be able to marry us? Bella asked still obviously nervous, but I think she was just far too concerned about what the lady behind the desk thought about her, us, but it was obvious (to me at least) that she couldn't care less.

"Oh yeah sure, here is a list of judges that marry people, just contact their office to schedule an appointment. You can either use the telephone number listed or just go to their office now, in person. There's usually someone in the building that has time to do a same day ceremony, too." She said quickly as Bella deftly took the paper from her hand.

Although I'm sure neither one of us would have admitted to it, we both blanched a little at the thought of leaving here married, it was definitely not a part of today's plan. Before we could respond, which really we had no response for that, the woman yelled "Next!" over us and we scurried out into the hallway.

In the office of the first judge we went to, we picked randomly from the ones located on that floor, we waited while the secretary had slipped into the judge's chambers to retrieve his calendar which was an actual spiral-bound calendar. It seemed that the judge was a bit "old fashioned" and although he didn't refuse to use a digital calendar…yeah, he didn't really use a digital calendar, so the secretary would transfer the data for the sake of having an accurate calendar. At least this was the story we got from the secretary, Janine, and she sure was a chatty one.

Several minutes later the secretary emerged with, instead of the calendar, Judge Hanna in tow. He shuffled right past the desk towards us while buttoning his suit jacket.

"Ah, yes, young love." He gushed. "Nearly 60 years for me and my Mary…of course we wasted no time before the war, barely out of high school. We may have been young and God knows that she could've done better, but it was the best mistake she ever made!" He guffawed loudly while simultaneously slapping me on the back. I caught a glimpse of Janine's unamused expression; something told me that she had heard this a few times before. Oh well, I liked the old guy.

"So, do you want to do this today because I've got some time before court…?" The judge began to ask.

"No, we were planning for a few weeks from now, but I have a question." Bella stated meekly and batted her eyelashes at him and looked up at him with her big brown eyes. He was a goner.

"Sure" He answered instantly.

"Well, I was wondering if we had to get married in your chambers? It's just that the garden downstairs is so beautiful. We would love to get married there." She gave me a tentative look because I had never indicated such a thing, but I gave her a small nod because my only requirement for the location was that it made Bella happy. I squeezed her hand as we awaited the judge's answer.

"Well, back in its hay day I can remember the courtyard being used all the time for such things, but not lately, no not for a good long while. Right, Jean?"

We turned to look at her, but she never acknowledged the question and the judge didn't really pause for her to answer anyway.

"Well, I don't see why not. Yeah, let's get you scheduled to get married in the courtyard right in front of the fountain." He said happily as he slapped my back again, a little harder than what was remotely necessary and hugged Bella much longer than appropriate.

I told myself it was Bella who perpetrated the hug, so I could go on liking the old coot and it made sense, in my head anyway, since she was the happiest that I had seen her in a long time. That fact alone was enough for me to like the old fucker. And I really couldn't be jealous of an 80 year old dude, right? Don't answer that.

~TB~

Today was the fucking the day. I was getting married. Bella and I were getting married, joined together for the rest of our lives.

I was sweating and shaking slightly and if it's even believable, more pale than usual.

"Hey Dude, are you ok?" Emmett asked as I was getting ready to tee off.

"No, I'm not _ok_. It's fucking hot out here, you fuckers haven't let me see Bella since yesterday, and now I'm trying to play this stupid fuck game and you won't shut your stupid cheating fucking mouth so I can fucking tee off!

Emmett just laughed, the fucker.

"You kiss Bella with that mouth?"

"Not lately, no." I growled.

"Oh, calm down." Jasper, the voice of reason, chimed in. "You have the rest of your lives to suck face and whatnot." He winked at me. The asshole that fucks my sister actually fucking winked at me.

I gripped the club tightly in my hand, my teeth were grinding, and I had some choice words for Jasper, but he spoke up first.

"So, speaking of the rest of your lives, are you nervous?"

"No" I stated sternly. "Edward Cullen does _not_ get nervous." I then hit the little, white ball with one hell of a swing and sent the fucker flying out of sight. I turned and gave both guys a smug look.

They shrugged it off and we all joined my father in the golf cart, who was impatiently waiting for us.

Was I nervous? Fuck yeah. Was I having doubts? Fuck no. Of course I was nervous. What the fuck did I know about being married or being responsible or being anything other than an asshole? Not much, but I wanted to, I wanted to be everything and anything that Bella needed and I'd be damned if she didn't have the patience to actually see that shit through. I took a deep breath, mumbled something about needing a fucking drink, not that I would drink, but fuck I wanted one. We then stopped at the 4th hole…how many of these fuckers are there again?

I was now sitting in the clubhouse of the golf course eating lunch after playing stupid golf all fucking morning. I didn't want to do this shit; I just wanted to get married. This shit was supposed to be fun and relaxing, but it was making me more nervous. I just wanted to get it done and over with. Wait, I didn't mean that in the shitty way it sounded.

I angrily pushed the food around my plate with the fork. My agitation and nervousness was only growing and I knew what an unpleasant bastard I was being and I felt bad for it, but not bad enough to knock the shit off. I probably should've appreciated all that my family had done and was still doing and I did, I just wasn't showing it at the moment.

It was a Friday morning in June, a few weeks after graduation, and the soonest we could get married at the courthouse. We were to be there at 3 o'clock which the girls, namely Alice and Rose, said would be great because we would have all day to relax and prepare. I didn't give it much thought because I hadn't known what they were planning.

Last night we drove up to Port Angeles, so that we wouldn't have to make the 1 ½ hour drive tomorrow. I thought this was a great idea. Bella and I in a hotel room for a whole day (and night – wink wink) leading up to the time we would get married. Yeah, that's what I thought up until I was kidnapped last night. Ok, so not literally kidnapped, but it did take Emmett picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder, and walking out the door with me and I may have screamed and kicked like a little girl the whole time, too. So yeah, fucking kidnapped.

My night consisted of playing pool and darts while eating chicken wings surrounded by several big screen televisions with various crap playing on them. I hadn't spent a lot of time with Jasper, and Emmett was in Seattle most of the time and my father was usually at work, so I finally admitted that it wouldn't be that bad to hang out with them for an evening. We shot the shit and joked around for quite awhile and I can admit that I had a fairly enjoyable time. That was when I still thought I was going to go back to the hotel and share a room with my soon to be wife.

This did not happen.

Apparently her and the women folk, Alice, Rose, and Esme, were all having a slumber party of sorts. They had plans for the next day also while the other guys and I were going to play golf. I didn't give a shit about golf, but everyone insisted. Said it would be good for us to spend the day apart blah, blah, blah. I had been an irritable fuck all day. I had slept alone last night. Well, I had lay in bed alone, because I didn't sleep worth shit.

I excused myself from the table, or rather grunted in my father's direction, and had my cell phone pulled out before I even reached the bathroom.

I had spoken to Bella once since last night. She reassured me that everything was fine and that the day would go by quickly, that we would be back together and married before we knew it. She seemed happy to be having some quality, chick time and promised to call if she wasn't feeling well or anything. I had momentarily calmed down, until the line disconnected and I could no longer hear her voice and that was right before my fitful night of non-sleep.

The phone rang several times and with each ring I tugged my hair a little harder.

"Hello?"

"Fuck Bella, I'm so glad you answered." I sighed. "I just miss you so fucking much, I didn't sleep worth shit, and fuck…I just miss you." I know I sounded like a whining baby and she laughed softly.

"You are so tense." It wasn't a question and she continued. "Just relax. It's only a few more hours and I can't wait to see you and be married to you…to spend the rest of my life with you." I could tell she was smiling, it was as if I could see it through the phone and it made me smile too.

"You can always calm me, Bella."

"Well, sometimes you really need it, Edward." She teased with a small chuckle. "I'm sorry, but I have to go before Alice comes back and…you know, acts like Alice. I love you, so cheer up, quit cussing so much, and I'll see you in front of the fountain."

"I love you. Forever." I said before I hung up and walked out of the bathroom, my mood a little brighter and my step a little more light.

We left soon after that to get showered and dressed for the wedding, but not before Emmett questioned me, in a rather crude manner, as to what I was doing in the bathroom that had improved my mood so much. This resulted in me throwing a dinner roll at him which bounced off his face and landed on the table. Of course Emmett didn't miss a beat; he picked the stupid thing up and ate it as we walked out. Jasper mumbled something about not knowing how he "deals with our immature asses" and my father either missed it or chose to ignore it as he handed payment to the waiter.

The next couple of hours went by in a blur. In the moment it felt like time was just crawling by while I went through the motions of getting ready and dressed, but all of a sudden I was standing there in front of the fountain in the courthouse garden waiting for _my_ Bella. My hands were sweating and at that very second only one thing could calm my nerves and she just walked in.

There was a small group of us in front of the fountain. It wasn't a traditional wedding, but we were arranged in a similar fashion. Next to me was my father and then Emmett and next to him was Jasper. In the middle was Judge Hanna and on the other side was Rose and Alice. In front of us Billy, Jacob, Sam, and Emily had all come up together along with Angela and Ben. It was small and intimate…and just perfect. Or at least now it was.

Esme had opened the door and let Bella walk ahead. There was no music or anything and she just walked up to me, slowly and surely, with the most beautiful smile on her face. Esme had walked around and slipped in front of Rose, but my eyes were permanently affixed on to _her_…my bride.

Bella's hair was piled on her head with loose curls falling down around her face. She had a simple white dress on, strapless, and it was like her bare skin shone in the sunlight that was surprisingly bright today. Her bare legs were showing, too. The dress only went to the top of her knee and somehow my thoughts instantly went to wondering what lie beneath the dress, but when she reached me and stopped by my side all of my attention was back on her beautiful, smiling face.

I stared into her eyes the whole time and she stared into mine. We said the standard vows, but that didn't make them any less special.

I carefully enunciated every syllable of every word – relishing the feeling of each one on my tongue and feeling the meaning of each one in my heart.

The feeling radiated from me to Bella, from my hand to hers. It could've been the other way around, from hers to mine, except I knew it was coming from me. I could feel it, the love generating deep within me accumulating and sparking between us with a warm tingle. Of course I knew it wasn't just me, it was both of us, our love meeting and causing such an overwhelming sensation that when I heard Bella speak those words of pure love and devotion, I did not hear them as the same words I had just spoken moments before. They were new, different, special – from her to me. Straight from her heart to mine.

A tear slipped down my cheek right before I placed my hand on the side of her face to guide her lips to mine. It was as if I had missed them for an eternity, the softness of her lips against mine, the plumpness as I take her bottom lip in between both of mine, and the sweet taste of candy as my tongue brushes against hers.

Forever, until death do us part.

**A/N –**

**I wanted to include the honeymoon and such goings on in this chapter, but it just didn't happen; it needed to end there. So, we have an extra chapter. It will be posted as soon as possible, please feel free to plead, beg, or threaten as you see fit. ;)**

**I was trying to be sneaky like maybe Edward was going to surprise Bella with reuniting her with her mom, but I doubt anyone fell for that shit because we all know Betward hates that bitch.**

**Bella's Car – 2011 Volvo XC90, black. **

**The Jaws Theme Song – Betward obviously didn't write it. John Williams did, about a decade before Betward was supposedly born, but in the land of TB, Betward is a cool movie music composer and John Williams doesn't exist. **

**Prenuptial Agreement – was purposely not discussed because it is a non-issue **

**Clallam County Courthouse – It's based on my local courthouse, not exact, but based on it. The actual Clallam County Courthouse is very beautiful, but in my opinion, looks more like a school and I'm, admittedly, a little partial to my local one. :)**

**Judge Hanna – Based on my law professor who recently passed away. **

**Secretary Janine – That's her name because I asked my husband what a standard secretary name is and this is what he responded with. It's from Ghostbusters. LOL**

**Unamused – Word says it's not a word. Fuck Word. **

**Link to Bella's dress on my profile (picture it without the weird jacket thing)**

**Betward said something that wasn't really addressed or maybe Bella just didn't catch it…did you? :)**

**So, they're finally married! What did you think?**

**Reviews are better than Summer killing somebody! (the threat still stands) ;)**


	25. Chapter 25 The Consummation

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do own a Perfect Brownie Pan.**

**A/N – Thanks again to all the amazing readers. If I didn't respond to your review then that's probably because your pm's are disabled, but I do appreciate each and every one I receive. Thank you!**

**Big hugs and thanks go to my always friend and sometimes beta, Lulu. :)**

**Huge thanks go out to earthprincess4 who did an awesome review of The Bet on Twific Reviews. She writes many awesome stories, oneshots, and compilations for various contests and charities. Check her out! **

***This is a lemony fluff chapter, heavy on the lemon. It is intended for those over the age of 18. You have been warned.***

**Ok, I'm just gonna put this out there. We are very close to the end and we still have some BIG things ahead of us (and I'm not just talking about the wedding night *nudge nudge*), so let's just say some of it is going to be easier than others. Buckle up because here we go!**

**Insert apology and real life excuses regarding delay here. :(**

**Enjoy!**

**The Consummation**

**Chapter 25**

"_These secret garden beams  
Changed my life so it seems  
A fall breeze blows outside  
I don't break stride my thoughts are warm  
And they go deep inside of you"_

_~Deep Inside of You, Third Eye Blind  
_

**EPOV ~ **_**After the Wedding**_

We were sitting side by side in the limo, Alice's doing of course, and Bella's head was lying on my shoulder. Her breath was slow, relaxed and her left hand was stretched over my body and laying on my left hand. Our hands were in a loose embrace as a few of her fingers lazily brushed over mine paying special attention to the ring that my finger now wore.

She sighed, a lovely content sigh, and I couldn't help but to smile. I also couldn't help but to look down her dress because fuck, it's like it was all I could see, I just couldn't look anywhere else.

We were on our way to the hotel to 'change' and then we were going to meet our family and friends for dinner at the restaurant in the hotel, from what Alice said it was "quite lovely". At this exact moment I couldn't give a shit if we were having dinner at McDonald's later. Because that was later and now, well now was time for something else and changing our clothes wasn't really what was top on my list, but taking them off sure was.

~TB~

I carried her over threshold of the hotel suite doorway. Sure, it was a corny thing to do, but it was what I was supposed to do, right? Corny or not, the upside was that I knew if I carried her we would get to the bed faster. Yeah, that's exactly what my horny ass was thinking.

Bella was 8 months pregnant, she wasn't exactly excited about the prospect of me picking her up and carrying her and yeah she grumbled at first. Well actually, she straight out refused at first, but I completely ignored her and picked her up anyway and that's when the grumbling started. I kissed her quickly, but passionately and that's when the grumbling stopped.

Then we were inside the room and I glided across the floor to the bed. Yeah, I fucking glided, not because I'm that fucking smooth, because I'm not, and not because I wasn't in a big hurry, because I was, but because I knew if I so much as stumbled once Bella would probably smack me in the head and tell me she was too heavy.

Once we finally reached the bed I had to stop for a moment, had Bella not been pregnant I would have tossed her on the bed and flew after her in one quick leap, but she was, so I gently lay her down and just stood there for a moment.

I was enjoying the view, if you will, but I was also trying to formulate a plan. You know, because my leap and conquer plan was already out. So, I was trying to decide if I should just pull the dress up or should I pull it down or…

"What are you doing over there, Mr. Cullen? Gotta catch your breath?" She asked me teasingly.

That's all it took, I was off in a flying leap. I went with my first plan; never second guess your first idea. I landed with my hands and knees supporting my weight on the bed, but in a great position on top of Bella. She giggled out of surprise or perhaps delight, I know my raging hard on was definitely delighted.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen" I whispered in her ear and let my lips drag their way down her neck. Every inch of skin erupted in goose bumps and I heard a small sigh, no definitely a small moan. Mmm.

"I couldn't decide if I should pull your dress up or down, but now I just want it the fuck off so bad that I think I'll just…" I started pulling at it, not caring if I ripped it, and she quickly slapped my hands away.

"You should've just said something." She said in this innocent sounding voice…the tease.

Her hands were quick pulling the zipper on the side and pulling down the dress in seemingly one motion. I backed up so she could shimmy out of it and once the dress was no longer in sight I just sort of sat there. I'm not sure what I was doing - gaping mouth, blinking eyes, rubbing my crotch…yeah, probably all of the above.

I had been right to wonder, with great enthusiasm, what was under Bella's dress because, fuck, it was better than I had imagined that's for damn sure.

She was wearing a satiny white bra, it was strapless, just like her dress was, and it just did its job wonderfully of squeezing her chest together and the tops of her breasts were just spilling out. It was quite a sight that's for sure, but where my eyes had stopped and remained was the spot right below her small, but protruding belly. The only thing that was covering her was a pair of white, lacy underwear. They were very small and very lacy, where you could see skin through the pattern. And the sides of the underwear, fuck, the sides were tied together with a bow of satiny ribbon. It was like a present.

"Wow, Mrs. Cullen, is this for me?"

"Well, of course it is…unless you don't want it." She was pouting this big lipped, fake pout and fuck if she didn't sound like fucking Marilyn Monroe or some shit. That wasn't even the worst part, the most teasing part was that she placed both of her little hands right over that beautiful bit of lace.

"Oh, I want it." I said with maybe a little too much gusto. "But, I'd like to kiss you first." I said in a slightly more calm tone.

"Oh, really?" She smirked at me and strummed her fingers in the most distracting way considering where they were strumming. "But, I want to give you your present first." She was back to the pouting, seductress talk and I simply could not refuse her…nor did I really want to.

She was laying there in front of me against the white, fluffy pillows where her hair lay in a dark contrast, messy and perfect. I was still kneeling on the bed in front of her and our eyes were locked in a gaze. She removed both of her hands slowly to where I barely noticed until she spoke.

"Well then, go ahead." She said quietly.

I did not need to be told again. Each hand went to one of her hips and with one quick pull to each ribbon the front of the panties fell.

_Holy fuck._

Remember when I said the panties had see-through designs, designs where skin could be seen through them? Yeah, that's because there was skin, and nothing else, behind those panties. Fuck.

I shook my head a little, just to compose myself, to hide my surprise, and to calm down. I really didn't want to start this whole marital sex thing by jizzing in my pants.

"I do believe I owe you a kiss, Mrs. Cullen." I said smoothly. She was going to protest, I knew she was, but I didn't give her time to say anything.

And kiss I did. Despite Bella's best attempt at moving closer to me, to capture my lips with hers no doubt, I made sure she remained laying there just so.

I began placing kisses along the top of her foot to the back of her ankle, up the back of her leg, paying special attention to the crook of the back of her knee, not to mention the front of her knee. This is when her breathing became noticeable, and she was no longer trying to move.

From her knee I made my way up the inside of her thigh. When I reached the apex of her leg I slowly ran my tongue along the crease. Bella could no longer hold still and she wriggled all over the place as if trying to force me into moving to where she wanted me.

I quickly kissed my way back down the same leg and once I was at the furthest point, back to where I started, Bella whimpered, a sad little sound, but once I made my way over to her other foot she sighed, happily or impatiently I'm not sure which.

By the time I reached the apex of the other leg Bella was full out panting, moaning, and had a fistful of my hair. I kissed the soft skin from one hip to the other, staying right below her baby bump. I did this a few times, going back and forth, left to right, right to left, and each time I would move a little lower and each time she thought I would go even a bit more lower…I never did, once I was dangerously close to where she wanted me to be, and honestly where _I_ wanted to be, placing kisses on her pelvic bone and so tempted to keep moving downward, but I made my way upwards instead.

Soft kisses up her side, circling her breasts, and paying special attention to her shoulders and neck. I went down her arms, kissing each finger, and back to her neck. I have always liked to kiss Bella right behind her ear, she seemed to like it too, not that she hadn't seemed to be enjoying all of it, but after a suck and a bite of her ear she was gripping my shoulders pretty tightly and even though I tried to back away and distance myself a bit, she was trying, and mostly succeeding, at grinding against me.

I continued to nuzzle and kiss her ear and neck while I tried to rip my pants from my body. Eventually they were gone and Bella began kissing my neck in return, I liked it too much to do anything but sit there and moan. She carefully worked each button on my shirt as she sucked on my neck. My shirt was quickly thrown to the floor and I believe my tie had ended up somewhere across the room.

"Please" she panted "I miss you. I need you so bad."

"Mmmmm" was my brilliant response as I could feel her wetness against my dick, but I hadn't even done what I had set out to do.

I shimmied down the bed and I didn't even touch her. No warning or indication as to where I was going like there had been when I was teasing her; I just went straight for it. My face went right against her bare pussy and my tongue firmly covered her clit before flicking it quickly. A loud moan filled the air as she fisted two handfuls of my hair.

It was a terribly wonderful, wonderfully terrible, cycle of breathless panting and quicker licking, my tongue having wandered from its rapid flicking at her clit to tease her opening. She was so wet, getting wetter with each movement of my tongue. I didn't know how much longer I could hold out, but the smothering force of Bella's hands and her delightful moans were motivating me to continue, and continue I did. My hands had made their way to the back of Bella's thighs, a good place to be to hold her legs apart, but I brought one of those hands down and my thumb rubbed quickly on her clit as I continued to lick. Her moaning and her hips bucking just intensified, so I slid a finger in her wet pussy, and another one immediately after. I barely started licking her clit again and pumping my fingers in and out when I heard a growled "Oh fuck!" before I was shoved back a little.

I didn't have much time to be confused, Bella just smirked lustfully at me.

"I want my husband inside of me the first time he makes me come."

In lieu of a response, I just quickly flipped her over so she was on her hands and knees before she could even think about it. We had been together, obviously, many times before we got married, but that didn't make this any less special and I wanted it to be very special for her, so if she wanted me to make love to her until she came, who was I to argue? I think I could oblige, many times actually.

No words were spoken. I gripped her hips and placed my dick at her opening. She was still so fucking wet, but I was trying to go in slow, gentle. Bella had other plans. She pushed herself back, so I filled her instantly. Not only was it unexpected, but it was so many sensations at once. We both let out a gasp.

We were a sweaty, intertwined pile on the tangled mess of blankets on the bed. Her head was lying on my bare chest and my fingers were twirling around in her hair even though she had already scolded me for messing it up. Her breath was slow and cool on my chest and I whispered an "I love you" against her hair before we had to get up and face reality again.

It took us about an hour to get ready, but I blamed Bella for this because she refused to share her shower with me. Honestly, she didn't take that long because she didn't wash her hair. She wanted to leave it the way it was, styled all fancy on the top of her head, apparently I hadn't messed it up that bad after all. I smiled to myself thinking about what a momentous day this had been. Of course I started thinking about the wedding, how beautiful Bella looked, but then those thoughts quickly turned to Bella taking off her panties and Bella kneeling in front of me, and Bella…

"What's got you smiling so big?" Bella asked me as she had snuck up behind me and wrapped her arms around me.

"Just thinking about you." I replied honestly and smiled at her.

"Yeah, well we'll have plenty of time to 'think' later, Alice is going to break down the door if we're not downstairs in 15 minutes." She smiled and kissed my nose before walking away.

We were riding down in the elevator, Bella was leaning against me and I was staring at her. She looked so beautiful in her blue dress. It was a light blue and it matched my shirt. Do I even need to clarify that it was Alice's doing? I didn't think so. I was wearing a blue, polo shirt with my initials monogrammed on the sleeve. Much to the chagrin of my sister, Bella was able to rein her in a bit over the formality.

We walked into the restaurant and I admit it was fancier than I thought it would be. I suppose this is one of the things that Alice had won on, not that there were any real losers, the restaurant was very nice.

Everyone else was already seated at the big, round table. Everyone who had been at the wedding had stayed to have dinner with us. I could hear Jacob's loud voice telling a story and Rosalie's overbearing voice trying to talk over him and Angela was just laughing. I think it was Alice who had jumped up first when she saw Bella and ran to give her a hug. Everyone else did much of the same and I had sat down unnoticed. I thought it was rather funny actually, but Esme had snuck up behind me and kissed my cheek before she sat back down and I couldn't hide my smile.

The table was covered with a dark, linen cloth and there was a big vase of light flowers in the middle. If I hadn't known that Alice had taken Bella's bouquet shortly after the ceremony, having stated that if it was going to be thrown she would've caught it anyway, I would have thought they were the same flowers. It was much like a real reception, but better, more intimate. Every once in awhile I would look over at Bella and she would have the biggest smile on her face and I knew that everything was perfect.

We didn't have our own wedding cake, but at the end of the evening we had all ordered desert. I had ordered the most chocolaty cake I had ever seen and Bella ordered a cheesecake. Currently, I was sitting here eating cheesecake while Bella licked chocolate off her fork. If I wasn't trying, very hard actually, not to stare at her I may have missed my dad whispering into his phone and frowning while he hung up. My father got called away a lot during my life because it was necessary, it was a part of his job, but if it wasn't absolutely necessary then he was never one to be on his phone. I knew it was the end of the night, but I was really hoping he wouldn't have to leave. I felt selfish knowing that the hospital wouldn't have called him unless it was an emergency.

He caught me looking at him and he gave me a smile, but it didn't seem right.

"Everything's fine, I just need to take care of something." He said hastily as he rushed away.

Bella had given me, or rather taken her cake back, and then given me the chocolate cake saying something about a sugar coma. I was finishing it when my father came back from being gone for several minutes. Before I could say anything I noticed a quartet had set up nearby and my father gave us a toast, although no one was really drinking.

"I wish both of you the very best." He said quickly before sitting back down. It was short and sweet and it looked like he would have said more if his emotions had not gotten the best of him. I could count on one hand how many times I've seen my father cry, but I'm sure I couldn't begin to fathom how many times I hadn't. He was an emotional man and a romantic man. I knew in that moment he was thinking about Mom. I had wished so many times that she could've met Bella, that she could've been here today. I felt Bella squeeze my hand right before the music started.

Canon in D was one of the very first songs I had learned to play. I was enjoying listening to them very much and Bella was watching in awe like she was trying to capture each movement of their bows across the strings. I was making a mental note to play the song for her once we were back home and I had a big smile on my face just thinking about it. I looked up to thank my father for this, but noticed a weird exchange, if you could call it that, between him and Billy. He gave Billy a look, but it was more of a sideways glance, and he gave my father a shrug that was more of a twitch of his shoulder. It was something that Bella would've said I was being paranoid about and when I looked to see if she had noticed anything she was still listening to the music with rapt attention.

We had spent a lot of time talking and visiting. Bella had spent most of the night laughing and it made me happy to see her so happy. Sam had to work early in the morning, so him, Emily, and Jacob and Billy, who had rode with them, left first. Ben and Angela left not too long after them and we were going to go back up to our room soon after that, but time had gotten away from us. I hadn't realized how late it was until I noticed Bella yawning.

When we were finally back in our room Bella collapsed on the bed seconds after we walked in. I would be lying if I said I was ready to go to sleep, but I couldn't be mad at Bella for how tired she was, I just wished we had been able to come back earlier, but that wasn't really true because we both had a great time.

I took my time in the bathroom getting ready for bed and then quietly made my way out to the TV. I figured I could find a show that would put me to sleep since I was still so excited from the day, I didn't feel like I could ever go to sleep.

It must have been a really boring show because the next thing I realized I was waking up to Bella sitting on my lap. She was wearing this awesome, see-through nighty, it was very see-through and very awesome, although I think she referred to it as sheer and a negligee.

"Going to sleep so soon?" She asked me.

"Not going to sleep, but definitely going to bed."

I stood up quickly with her still in my lap and she let out a squeal as I carried her to the bed for the second time. I think I liked this whole marriage thing.

**A/N –**

**I apologize for any mistakes; I know the beginning of the chapter got a lot more of my attention than the end. **

**I am, admittedly, a novice lemon writer. Of course it is always fun to write in adolescent, male point of view, but this is especially true when I get to talk about where I put my dick. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Most of the on the bed Edward dialogue I heard in the smooth speech of Ryan Phillipe's character from Cruel Intentions. No offense, Rob, but Ryan has always been my Edward. **

**Yes, I did the cliché 'Bella has a salon trip and surprises Edward with a hairless bajango'. I am not ashamed. ;) **

**Raging Hard On – Isn't a phrase I use often because it evokes images of a big, angry penis kind of just running around and growling or something. **

**Bella's Dinner Dress – link on profile**

**We will break 800 reviews which makes Betward's cock hard just thinking about it (yeah, it does!), so I'll offer a prize to #800 (as I do with all the hundred milestones)…name cameos have been popular, but a special teaser, a lemony outtake perhaps. I'm pretty open to requests. ;)**

**Next chapter will be in BPOV and should be up by tomorrow, perhaps sooner, I can probably be persuaded. ;)**

**Reviews are better than wedding night sex with Betward…yeah I know, but still review? :)**


	26. Chapter 26 The Labor

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. **

**A/N – I will never be done thanking all of the readers, without you and your kinds words and support this story would be nothing. And without Lulu a lot of things, in TB and in general, would suck.**

**Kleenex warning? Yeah, go ahead and grab a few…or you know, the whole box.**

**This is a really big (heavy) chapter, so I'll leave you to it, see you below.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 26 **

**The Labor**

"_Mother remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body  
So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten  
Sons are like birds flying upwards over the mountain"_

_~Upward Over the Mountain, Iron & Wine_

_**BPOV ~ Morning of June 20**__**th**_

I was asleep in our bed, or at least I was trying to be asleep. Sleep was more of a goal than an achievement the bigger I got and lately I felt pretty darn big. I had tossed all night and now I was having a dream that there was a vice around my stomach and every once in awhile it would tighten and it hurt so badly. I kept reaching over and smacking Edward's arm because it hurt and I was flailing around, but maybe also because I just wanted to smack him.

When the pain continued and got so bad that I woke up I realized that it was real, that they were contractions and I started hitting Edward's arm more.

"Wake up! Wake up!" I said groggily.

"I'll get you ice cream in the morning." He mumbled not even opening his eyes.

"No, it's not that. It's time…the baby's coming!"

After that he was up in a flash. It didn't take us long to get dressed and it seemed that all the planning I had done last week with putting my bag in the trunk and the baby's car seat in the car that Edward had laughed at, he wasn't laughing at anymore.

We were quickly on our way to the hospital, speeding along in the dark, when I realized that we hadn't told anyone that we were leaving for the hospital. We had managed to leave the house without waking anyone up. Everyone was already at the house, having arrived there yesterday, for Edward's birthday party later today.

"Oh no!" I cried and I thought Edward was going to crash the car for a moment.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you ok? Do you need me to pull over?" He rushed his words out and kept glancing between me and the road.

"We need to call everyone and tell them we're going to the hospital…and your party is ruined. I ruined your birthday!" I cried. He just laughed loudly and I think I may have cried more.

"Bella, my birthday is far from ruined. This is the best present ever." He smiled at me.

His smile always did have a way of calming me. I laughed a little at my ridiculousness. I was so tired and so anxious. After all these months we would finally get to meet our little boy. I smiled more and Edward's hand came over and started rubbing my leg. I grasped it tightly and we smiled at each other. I could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

The registration was a quick process, partly because I pushed my way past some, seemingly, less critical patients, but mostly because I had done the pre-registration that was recommended at the child birthing classes. I would have mentally praised myself, but at the moment I had a human trying to burrow its way out of my body which was making coherent thoughts incredibly difficult.

I had called Esme while we were still driving and everyone had arrived shortly after we did. I had told them they didn't have to rush, but everyone was too excited to just sit around the house and wait. They still had to sit around the hospital and wait, but they all said it was better that way since they would be able to see the baby right away. I just laughed, I loved how we were all so excited to meet little Joey.

The next hour or so went by in a blur. Someone had come and wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor. After that it was just me getting changed, being hooked up to various monitors, and filling out more paperwork. Oh, and of course getting the IV which probably would've been a whole lot more upsetting if I wasn't so damn uncomfortable already _and_ I was promised drugs via said IV in the very near future.

The contractions were getting worse, a lot more intense, but it didn't seem like they were as consistent as the ones I read about. They never really came in any specific time interval. The doctor had just checked me about a half an hour ago and all I remember was him saying that I was barely dilated and I may have cried a little. Edward wanted to go get the doctor to check me again, but I had refused to let go of his hand.

The TV was on in the background, but it had just been turned on and then forgotten. I'm not even sure who had turned it on. Everyone else had been banished to the waiting room during the doctor's examination and I had asked Edward not to have them return. It wasn't that I didn't want them here, but it was getting really hard to stay composed and I just didn't feel like having an audience right now. I did tell him that when it came time to push to go get Esme. She was thrilled when I asked her to be the second person in the delivery room. Edward and I had both agreed that she should be with us to welcome the baby. Not that I didn't love Carlisle, but I was really self conscious about having him in the delivery room and I know that traditionally it would be my mom that's there along with the husband, and Esme is like my mom. Well, not like _my_ mom specifically, but she was how a mom should be and I was lucky enough that she was my mother-in-law now. It was still mind boggling to think of it that way.

Currently, though, I was busy trying to break Edward's hand and I knew Esme would be better off keeping everyone else company for awhile longer. Although, I really hoped not too much longer. It seemed that every person I had encountered the past few months knew of someone who had endured an obscene amount of time in labor and for some reason thought that it was not only appropriate, but also necessary to share this with me. I was trying really hard to not think about that now.

"Oh, fuck!" I growled at a particularly bad contraction. It had been a few hours since I woke up with these pains and I was hoping that the intensity was signaling that it would be over soon.

"I need to go get the doctor." He said with false calmness.

"Ok" I relented and loosened my grasp on his hand, but within a split second I was gripping again but with a much added force. "Oh my God!"

He turned and looked at the monitor that was going crazy printing out all the readings from my contractions.

"Something's wrong." I said weakly, but with urgency.

"That was the biggest one yet." He said, still looking away.

"No!" It hadn't just hurt, it felt like something had shifted, ripped, torn inside of me. It felt horribly wrong and I could feel warm liquid gushing out. "No, something's wrong. Something is really wrong!"

I pulled back the blanket and all I could see was a bright, red stain between my legs. I felt faint, and horrible, an immense sense of dread was washing over me. I was whimpering and other than shaking with sobs, I was just laying there in shock. It felt as if I were underwater, sounds were there, but muffled and everything was getting hazier by the second. The distorted sounds and sights were whirling around me, making me dizzier than I had been when I first saw the blood.

I had heard Edward screaming for a doctor, he was pushing buttons and there were a lot of beeping sounds followed by more yelling from Edward. All of this seemed to have taken minutes upon minutes instead of the seconds it actually took. It was like everything was in slow motion until all of a sudden everything sped up very quickly. People rushed in and I was being pulled and tugged in what felt like every direction, but I didn't care what they were doing as long as they were doing all they could to save my baby.

At this point I could feel the clammy sweat on my brow, the blood pressure cuff on my arm, and the many hands checking my vitals and messing with the IV and such, but my vision was nearly non-existent. It was then when I realized I didn't know where Edward was and also that I had a breathing mask on which was making it difficult to ask for him, but that didn't stop me from trying. I also used my arm that the nurse wasn't messing with to reach out and try to find him.

Someone did grab my arm, with both hands, and returned it to my side, but it wasn't Edward. As soon as I felt it, I knew it wasn't him, but before I could react and become more upset I heard a sweet voice in my ear, it was the nurse.

"Your husband is out in the hall, so we can help you and your baby. Just relax and let the anesthesia take effect. We're moving you to the OR so we can deliver this baby." She patted my arm when she said the word 'baby' and her tone was calm and I liked it. I heard her say that everything was going to be fine as my eyes grew heavier and the bed started to move out of the room.

As soon as the bed turned I heard a commotion and for a split second my arm was on fire with wonderful tingles. "I love you, Bella. I always have." He said into my ear and then the feeling and his voice were gone as quick as it had appeared. I felt myself smile and then I was asleep.

I was sitting in the meadow. It didn't really look like our meadow; it was an extremely distorted, dream version of the meadow. It was more like a room than the outdoors. I sat on the grass, but I couldn't see anything surrounding me, not because it was night, but because it just wasn't there. So, I sat there, in the grass, alone.

I'm not sure what I was wearing in the dream. I was sure that I was wearing something, but it was just something that I was conscious of, the clothes themselves were nondescript, unnoticed, and just unimportant. I know I didn't appear as pregnant either; I was just a girl sitting in the middle of a meadow.

"I don't want to be here." I said petulantly.

"Then leave." Said a small voice.

I looked around for the source of the voice, but didn't see anyone until I looked down and saw a small, green caterpillar inching along on a leaf.

"I haven't anywhere to go." I responded despondently.

"Yes, but is there anywhere you want to be?"

"No. I can't leave anyway, I have to be here."

"Me too." He answered as he chewed a path along the side of the leaf.

"Really? Why?"

"Because this is where I was put, it's where I belong."

"I see. So, you'll never leave then?"

"I didn't say that."

"You said that you belong here."

"And I do…for now. And so do you."

I didn't say anything after that and neither did he. I just sat there and watched him. Little feet moving, climbing, long winding body wriggling, moving along unaffected by gravity, his little head moving past the green leaves leaving small, jagged holes in his wake.

I was entranced in watching him and there was a stillness surrounding us, nothing moved, and a silence, nothing made any sound at all. It was as if we were the only things that existed here. Then it was as if my head was jerked towards the sky, but it wasn't really a sky; there were no stars, no sun, nothing to see at all. I felt a strong wind, it was so strong it took my breath away and choked me. I was no longer attached to the ground, I was no longer watching the caterpillar, it was as if it wasn't there, didn't exist, there was only the darkness above me and I was being pulled towards it. Then all of a sudden, I wasn't.

I was now back in the grass and I was watching the caterpillar as if I had never stopped. He had eaten a lot and I suppose he was finished. He made his way down the plant, across the grass, slowly navigating past each blade, and then he began his way up a tree. I hadn't even noticed the tree until now, it probably hadn't even existed until now, when my eyes landed on it. He inched his way up each ridged piece of bark until he reached a branch several feet high.

If there had been a sun in the sky it would've moved all the way across by now.

"Are you leaving now?" I asked him breaking the long silence.

"No" was the simple response that I got.

"Then where are you going?"

"I'm not _going_ anywhere. I'm going here, to sleep."

Ah, sleep. Sleep sounded so good. I didn't move to lie down or anything, I just stayed still, until I suddenly noticed that the caterpillar was gone.

"No, wait! You can't leave. You said you wouldn't leave, don't leave! I don't want to be alone!" I yelled frantically.

'_You're not alone.' _I heard and then I saw the cocoon. It was hanging off of a small branch.

Time passed, I could feel it, but nothing of note, or really anything at all, happened. It was just time passing, as time always does. Then the cocoon began to crack and those cracks widened and slowly spread. Little antennae began to poke out, followed by a fuzzy, little butterfly head. Small, but strong back legs climbed their way out and then it happened. He completely freed himself, and hung from the branch. His beautiful wings surrounded him and they were shriveled and wet, weak. Like my arm was after being in a cast for several weeks. I watched him, stared, as his wings slowly dried and spread out in a magnificent enclosure. I could see his antennae move about and his wings started to flutter a bit too.

I wondered if he felt different as a butterfly. It was quite the transformation. I smiled to myself, glad to have had the chance to watch it.

And then he took flight. It was like out of nowhere he floated up into the air and glided all over with the wind. He didn't fly away, he was just flying and I wasn't even worried that he would. I watched him soar through the air. I think he was enjoying himself and it made me smile again.

I remained still as he circled and flew around me.

"Bella?"

That's funny, I don't remember a proper introduction and I began to wonder how a talking caterpillar, or rather, butterfly, knew my name.

"You're leaving now." I said. It wasn't a question.

"So are you. Wake up."

"What?' I asked.

"Bella! Wake up, Bella! Wake up!" The voice began to change and I slowly opened my heavy eyelids to Edward's voice.

My throat was scratchy and I felt very tingly and numb. I wasn't even sure where I was, but then I felt enough to feel…empty? The baby was gone. I lifted my gaze and couldn't help the lazy grin that spread across my face.

He was standing there. His hair was so disheveled, I knew he had been pulling on it and then as if on cue, his hand drifted up there and began tugging. His eyes were red and a bit swollen. He was fidgety and he looked confused about what to do.

"Edward" I rasped.

He immediately came closer and knelt down so I could see him better through the slats of the bed railing.

"Bella" was all he said, his voice sounded soft and relieved and it made me smile.

"Will you bring our son in here? I want to see him so bad." I asked.

His eyes darted momentarily to the floor before meeting mine again.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." He said quickly as he kissed my forehead before darting out the door.

I was waiting anxiously, and rather impatiently, but I couldn't keep my eyes open and they were too heavy to keep open. It felt like a long time before I opened them again. I felt so groggy and I looked around, but didn't see anybody. There was no Edward and there was no baby. I started to panic. Oh my God, oh my God, what if…

My mind uncontrollably finished that sentence even if I didn't want it to. What if there was no baby? What if…

But, Edward never said anything like that happened, but then my cruel mind shot back that he didn't say that it hadn't, he didn't say anything! And he wasn't here now.

I was being silly, of course, emotional and overly sensitive from everything that happened. Edward would be back any second…any second now, I repeated to myself.

I knew Edward would never leave me. We would be together forever and instinctively my right hand made its way over to the other to rest on top and feel my ring, but it wasn't there. It was gone, just like Edward and just like the baby.

I couldn't manage to calm myself this time. My heart beat faster and faster and I could feel the panic coming over my body, but then I heard someone walk in and I felt myself begin to calm as my head shot up to look.

"Well, good morning there Bella Swan." The nurse said cheerily. I couldn't get any words out, something just didn't feel right and I could feel the panic come back and tears begin to prick my eyes. I merely just pointed towards the door.

"Oh, sweety." She said as she lowered the bed railing and sat on the edge of my bed. She patted my arm in a way that made me want to hit her, even though I'm sure she was trying to comfort me. I just wanted to know what was going on.

"I don't know why they put you here." She grumbled, mostly to herself, and also said some disparaging things about the previous shift's nurses. I didn't care, I could feel my heart beat begin to increase again.

"Honey, let's get you moved out of the postpartum wing." She said while she still patted me.

"I don't understand." I managed to croak out.

"It's just easier for women without babies to be in another department. You know, away from the nursery and such." She said matter-of-factly.

I started shaking my head profusely.

"Don't worry, honey, your mother is on her way, so you won't have to be alone anymore."

OH. MY. GOD. That's it, this is when all control, all rational anything is completely lost. My heartbeat was racing faster than I think I have ever felt it, it was reverberating throughout my body, but mostly I could just feel it in my head. And then before I knew it my breathing was becoming synchronized with my rapid heartbeat. My chest was pounding and air was going in and out all at a very unnatural pace.

My head was light and I chose not to hear the nurse who was shouting my name. I embraced the darkness of unconsciousness. I welcomed it and held onto it tight, not ever wanting to let go. There was nothing waiting for me there this time though. No meadow, no butterfly, but there was nothing for me anywhere anymore. I'm done. I quit. And that's when I hear it. Soft cries turn louder to drown out the monotone beep that's ringing in my ears.

**A/N – **

**Who wants some EPOV in the next chapter? Who wants to strangle me? Well, I like it rough, so bring it! ;)**

**Oh, and the least of your concerns – the butterfly scene. If it bears any resemblance to a scene from Mad Men, it is by pure coincidence and I actually got pretty angry when I saw that episode. If this bears resemblance to anything, it's Alice in Wonderland, but mostly it's just a varied array of symbolism. **

**Thank you everyone, please share your thoughts. **


	27. Chapter 27 The Baby

**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight.**

**A/N – **

**Congrats to bethroann, reviewer #800!**

**I think most of you know that I'm not a doctor, this is a work of fiction, and I'm still not a doctor. Everything medical has been written to be the most realistic and believable as possible with my limited amount of medical knowledge, google, and Beta Lulu (also not a doctor). There haven't been any complaints, so I guess so far so good.**

**This begins where we left off at the last chapter, but then goes to where the last chapter started; I promise little is repeated. **

**This update would've come a lot sooner had I not decided to add about 4,000 words to it, but I think everyone will be happy that it's larger than the last two combined. :)**

**Thank you, to everyone, I cannot say it enough, but I'm sure you'd rather be reading than hearing me run my mouth up here. See you at the bottom.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 27 **

**The Baby**

"_And I do believe it's true  
That there are roads left in both of our shoes  
But if the silence takes you  
Then I hope it takes me too  
So brown eyes I hold you near  
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere"_

_~Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie_

_Previously on TB ~_

_BPOV_

_I embraced the darkness of unconsciousness. I welcomed it and held onto it tight, not ever wanting to let go. There was nothing waiting for me there this time though. No meadow, no butterfly, but there was nothing for me anywhere anymore. I'm done. I quit. And that's when I hear it. Soft cries turn louder to drown out the monotone beep that's ringing in my ears. _

**BPOV**

I go further and further into the darkness. I can only hear a noise, a beep, but then I hear crying. It's soft, little baby noises. Then it turns into wailing, angry screams. Poor baby. _My_ poor baby.

He wants me, needs me, but I can't find him and all I know is that I _have_ to find him, and I will.

I will.

I wake up and I don't know where I am. If I'm dead, then death feels like shit.

"Ugh" I groan and reach up to pull whatever is taped all over my face and going up my nose.

"No, you don't." Edward says sleepily and grabs my arm. "You've scared me enough for one day."

My eyes are droopy and my mouth feels like cotton so I move my tongue along my lips, but it felt like it was moving in slow motion. I'm so confused. The room looks different, Edward looks different…so confused.

"I-"my throat feels horrible, I barely make a sound.

"I can get you some ice water." He said worriedly as he stroked my arm.

"No! Don't go, please." I said a little bit louder than I thought I could and I grabbed at him weakly. "Last time..oh God, last time, but was it real? Was I dreaming?"

"It was real." He said sadly.

"There's a lot I have to tell you, but right now I have something to show you or rather someone who's been waiting to meet you."

"Baby?" I said with tears already running down my face.

He turned around and moved a little, but he was only out of my sight for a second and then he turned around with a little bundle in his arms. I could see the white blanket with the hospital's logo on it and a hat with different colored stripes, but that was about it.

"Joey" I rasped as I reached my hand out towards him.

Edward shook his head and I didn't have time to ask why.

"JoJo" He corrected.

"But I thought we decided on Joey." I frowned.

"We decided to name our son Joey. Bella, meet our daughter, JoJo."

I shook my head and laughed and it hurt, but if he thought for one second I would call my daughter…a daughter. I smiled and I think I was crying again. Finally he knelt down and placed her on me, by my face, and my hand, with all its tubes and nonsense, was resting on her small body. I looked at her and she looked right at me, her little brown eyes peeping out from all of her coverings. Then her hand managed to escape the blanket and she rested her little palm on my cheek.

"Elizabeth" I whispered.

He was nodding his head. His face was crumpled and he was crying, but it was like he was also trying to smile.

**EPOV – Morning of June 20th**

I was having a great dream starring myself, Bella, and the weight bench. It had been awhile since we had been…intimate. I knew there was a good reason why Bella hadn't felt up to it, but that didn't mean I didn't miss it and I suppose that's why I had been having some really dirty dreams lately.

It was starting to get really good with me on the bench and her on top of me when she reached down and smacked me. I smirked at her, I kind of liked it rough, but then she kept smacking me and it kept getting harder and harder and I guess I didn't really like it rough at all. I started to realize that I was really being hit when I heard Bella's voice.

"Wake up! Wake up!" She was saying while still hitting me and I had heard it many times before.

"I'll get you ice cream in the morning." I mumbled trying to go back to sleep.

"No, it's not that. It's time…the baby's coming!"

That's all I had to hear before I was jumping out of bed and throwing on the first clothes my hands landed on. I threw some clothes at Bella and we both whirred around each other in the bathroom before rushing down the stairs.

We jumped into the car and I think I may have kicked up some gravel trying to leave so quickly. In all honestly, I know I was rushing around like a crazy person way more than Bella. I mean, sure, Bella was in a hurry, but I was being borderline ridiculous, peeling out of my driveway and everything. I didn't really think it would be like this, the way it is in the movies. I thought I would be all calm and collected and I even laughed at Bella when she pre-packed the car. Maybe I should have done some preparation or something too.

Everything was happening so quickly this morning. We had tried to get here as fast as we could and once we did it was a bustle of activity. There was checking in, and moving around, paperwork, all of the things the nurses had to do with Bella. Then my family was here, the doctor was here, and now we were alone. It was weird and it made it feel so real.

It hadn't seemed real until now, that the baby was coming today. I knew it was happening and I knew it would eventually happen, but seeing Bella like this, in so much pain, it made it so real and I hated seeing her hurt and know that I couldn't do anything to help her.

There had been a lot of contractions since the doctor left about thirty minutes ago and I hoped that this was a good sign, that it would be over soon. I had been holding Bella's hand almost the entire time, but it was just recently that she started gripping it so hard. I wanted the doctor to recheck her, but she didn't want me to leave her and I was thinking about maybe just pushing the button or calling my father to get the doctor. I didn't get too far in my thoughts when Bella started gripping my hand again.

"Oh fuck!" She ground out.

I had never heard Bella swear as much as I had today and I decided that I waited long enough, that I would just go get the doctor and maybe have Esme come back with me too.

"I need to go get the doctor." I said, hoping that she would finally let me.

"Ok" she nodded weakly and started to let go of my hand, but within a split second she was gripping it again, but so much harder. "Oh my God!" She yelled.

I looked away because it hurt me so much to see her hurt and I started to watch the readings from the monitor that measured her contractions.

She started to say something, but I was still worried about the contractions.

"That was the biggest one yet." I said, mostly to myself, as I compared it with all the previous ones.

"No!" She yelled and I quickly jerked my head towards her. "No, something's wrong. Something is really wrong!" She continued to yell.

All I could do was sit there motionless and watch her, as if it was in slow motion, she pulled the blanket with both of her hands until it just slid off the bed. All I could see was the bright, red spot between her legs.

I snapped out of it immediately. I jumped up and hit every red button I could see. I pushed the call button and yelled for a doctor. Things were beeping and I wasn't sure if it was coming from things I had pressed or if it was from the monitors and I could hear Bella crying and all I could do was scream out the door for a doctor, for someone. I couldn't understand what was taking them so long, but it had only been a few seconds before people were rushing in and I was being ushered out.

I had to get back in there. I could not leave her alone. I was sure at that moment I could break free, break past, get through anyone to get to her. I didn't notice how much I was shaking with worry and frustration until I felt a steady hand on my shoulder.

"Son, let them do their job. They're going to do everything they can to help them."

His words didn't even have time to sink in before they wheeled her bed out and there was no hesitation before I rushed over to her. The nurse pretended not to notice, but she moved over just slightly, so I could lean down by Bella's ear. I put my hand on her arm that felt way too cold and I whispered "I love you, Bella. I always have." And then she was gone.

I collapsed in my father's arms and I couldn't hold it in any longer. The possibilities, the uncertainty, the dread, all I knew was that she would have to be ok, _they_ would have to be ok. I didn't want anything else to be a possibility and I didn't want to think about it.

I'm not sure how I got off the floor, down the hall, and into the chair I was currently sitting in, but here I was. My father was checking on Bella. He told me…something, I'm not sure what he said.

Everyone else was sitting in a different part of the waiting room or maybe they were in a different waiting room altogether, I don't know.

I looked up when I noticed movement and my dad came rushing in "Come on!" he motioned wildly and took off the way he came.

I shot up and followed him quicker than I would have thought possible.

"What's wrong? Oh my God, is everything ok? What happened?" I just kept shouting questions while running down the hall.

"Yes, everything's fine so far, but if we don't hurry you're going to miss your baby being born."

I almost missed the turn he made and I skidded across the linoleum floor trying to keep up and then almost ran into him when he abruptly stopped.

"I-I get to see him be born?"

He gestured towards the wall which had a window that was covered with a curtain, but it had been pulled back most of the way.

I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella. I couldn't see much of her, there were so many wires and tubes and she looked so broken…I didn't know if I could watch this. I started feeling woozy and I didn't know what was going to happen, if anything would be ok, if things would be the way they were supposed to be now or ever. And then everything changed.

I could only see the doctor's back, but when he moved and brought his hands up he was holding the most perfect looking baby. I couldn't see much and then the curtain was closed. I was in too much of a shock to give it much thought.

"They'll open it back up, they just want to get the baby cleaned off."

I only nodded. I had no words.

It didn't take long for the curtain to open back up. The view to Bella was blocked, but Dad said it was so the doctor could stitch up her incision.

The nurse was much closer to the window than the doctor had been, but the baby was still in the same cloth, it didn't look like he had been cleaned off at all and then she held him up and I could see his mouth was open and crying and I couldn't wait to hear him and then I looked down…I couldn't wait to hear _her_. A beautiful baby girl, so beautiful, just like her mommy.

I was in shock, it was all surreal. The walk to the NICU was at a much slower pace than just a moment ago. I had scrubbed my hands and was sitting there waiting for her when they brought her in to me. My father had left to update everybody about the baby.

A nurse took her out of the little bed they wheeled her in and handed her to me. My hands were shaking, but she didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to her. I didn't really know how to hold a baby, I couldn't ever remember doing it before, but she fit perfectly into my arms and the nurse didn't seem too concerned as she walked away to check on another infant.

"This isn't quite how I imagined this, but nothing really has been the way I imagined it. Some good and some bad…and some really great like you." I smiled down at her, she was sleeping and breathing peacefully. I started to rub my finger across her whole tiny, little hand. "I am so glad to finally meet you." I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from crying. "I've been waiting a long time, it feels like forever and there have been too many times that I thought I might not ever be able to." My voice was barely a whisper now. "I just hope that mommy gets to meet you soon. She loves you so much and…" I couldn't finish with the hot tears that were rolling down my cheeks and I didn't have to. She grabbed my finger with her chubby, little fist and just squeezed it. She knew.

As the minutes passed I began to relax a little. I wasn't so tense and I even let myself lean back in the chair. I hadn't realized that it was a rocking chair before. I spent awhile just rocking back and forth, humming a random song, while the baby slept. The baby? We had hated calling her that, it was why we picked a name so quickly.

There was a limit on visitors in the NICU and everyone had gathered in front of the large viewing window. I held JoJo up so they could see her, but it didn't feel right. I just wanted to be alone with her while we waited for Bella to wake up.

JoJo, that's what I had decided to call her, was still asleep when the nurse assigned to her came over to speak to me. She explained that JoJo had a low Apgar score when she was born. That it was common for babies who were born via emergency c-section, but that she had to stay here for awhile and if she continued to do well she would be released to the regular nursery.

I wasn't sure what it all meant and I didn't really care. I was holding her and she was healthy and perfect.

"Mr. Cullen" The nurse continued as she sat down next to me. "When she was born she wasn't breathing and was rather blue in color, but she started breathing almost immediately and has been improving since."

I now realized why they had shut the curtain when they did and why they don't usually let people watch, but I was so thankful that I was able to, it was something else I would have to thank my father for later.

"It won't be long, I'll be back to re-check her soon."

I nodded and she left.

I just stared down at JoJo. I took off her little hat so I could see the soft, reddish curls that covered her head. She didn't have much hair, but what she did have looked just like mine. Her skin was so creamy, like porcelain, but her cheeks had a bit of a rosy color to them that matched her lips.

Most people say newborns are ugly and that's because they are, but not her, she looked like a little doll.

"Oh look, she has her daddy's hair!" One of the nurses said and I just smiled.

"She sure is precious." I heard my dad's deep voice from behind me.

"I knew I loved her, but I had no idea how much."

He just smiled at me and nodded, he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Everything's fine" He started, which caused me to panic for some reason. "But, Bella's doctor would like to speak to you out in the hall."

I frowned, but I didn't say anything until my dad reached out for the baby.

"I'm just going to put her in the crib thing. You're going with me, right?"

"But I want to hold the baby." He almost whined and I just laughed.

"You do not get to hold the baby before Bella." I said with quiet certainty as I put her in the bed.

The doctor was blunt when he told me my wife would probably not be able to have any more children. His words and reasons jumbled together and I didn't really care about explanations and medical terms; I heard what was important. They got the baby out just in time, Bella had lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion, but she _should _be fine. Well, fine except she'll probably never have another child and having this one nearly killed her. Apparently, my definition of fine differed greatly from the doctor's definition. I felt like it was all my fault and of course it was my fault.

I just wanted to see her, see that she was ok, that she would be ok, but she was still in recovery and I had to wait until she was taken to her room.

I went back in and the nurse was adjusting some of JoJo's monitors and stuff. She said everything was fine and she put her back in my arms. I just held her close like it would make everything better, and it almost did.

I wasn't sure if Bella would be disappointed that JoJo wasn't a boy. I mean, I wouldn't think so, but it wasn't as if we could just try again. I wasn't ready to have a baby now, of course I wasn't, at the age of 18 or 19 I guess, so I hadn't really thought of having more, but I hadn't thought of _not_ having more. Bella had made several comments about the downfalls of being an only child and she's always liked that my siblings and I were so close in age. Would she be angry? Would she blame me?

I was lost in my thoughts when a nurse tapped me on the shoulder and told me that Bella was in her room now. It was the same nurse that was holding Bella's hand when she was taken to surgery and had moved over so I could tell Bella that I loved her.

"Hey, beautiful, your mommy should be waking up soon." She said to JoJo and then looked at me.

"I-I was going to stay until they checked her again?" I said it like a question and I wasn't really sure what I was doing.

"Oh, well I was worried that your wife would wake up and be looking for you." She said simply.

Shit, I wasn't even thinking of that. I just looked up, wide-eyed and kind of confused looking.

"How about this, I'm off my shift, so I'll just wait here until Dr. Cullen gets back."

"Oh, you don't have to stay. You're probably more than ready to go home."

"It's fine. I don't usually get to hold the babies. Well, I've already held her once, but when I'm cleaning and weighing them and stuff it's more like wrangling, she wasn't all peaceful like this." She smiled and reached out for her.

Weighing? That's right, that's one of those questions that everyone asks when you tell them about the baby. I looked over to the little pink card in her bed and it read – Baby Cullen – 6 lbs 15 oz 21" long. I smiled.

"Alright, but as soon as she can go to the regular nursery I can take her to Bella's room, right?"

"Yeah, they just have to check her temperature and vitals again and as long as she has stayed where she should be she can go, it won't be long now."

She gingerly took the baby and I left quickly hoping that everything would happen soon, Bella would be awake and then JoJo would be transferred and we would all be together.

I walked slowly down the hospital corridors, pushing two sets of heavy doors, and trudging my feet along like I wasn't on my way to see the woman I love, but now it was that I was also walking _away _from my daughter. What a weird thought that was and what a weird realization that I had to leave behind, if only for a moment, this little person, someone who was a part of me and a part of Bella, someone who I had just met, but loved so much. It didn't help that I wasn't just walking to Bella, but I was walking into uncertainty. I had no idea how Bella would react to having a girl, or how she would feel about never having any more kids, and the biggest and most dreaded was that I wasn't even certain that she would wake up and I really couldn't handle that possibility.

I peered into the door, just hovering in the entrance. The room was barely lit, but I could see her. The small light above her bed was on and shone enough light on her to see how pale she was and her eyelids were fluttering, she must have been dreaming.

I walked in without ever really having made a conscious decision to move. I just knew that she needed me or at least needed to wake up. I was next to her bed and had knelt down near her face. It took me a moment to realize that I was chanting, in a whisper, "wake up, please wake up" repeatedly. My whisper became a loud command "Bella! Wake up, Bella! Wake up!".

And she did.

I stood up as quickly as her eyes opened. I'm not sure why. I think I was surprised and shocked in a disbelieving way. I wanted it to be true, but I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me until our eyes met and she actually smiled. I didn't know what to do or what to think. I was happy, beyond happy, that she was awake and seemed happy, but I almost felt…guilty? I was lost in my thought when I realized I was tugging on my hair, something I've done since I was a kid, and I must've been doing it a lot lately too because it was kind of sore. All thoughts stopped when I heard my name.

"Edward" her scratchy voice said.

I immediately went back down to the side of her bed. "Bella" I said with a sigh of relief.

She smiled more and I smiled back.

"Will you bring our son in here? I want to see him so bad." She asked.

My eyes moved from hers for just a second, as the doubt filled me, but with Bella right in front of me, I knew I shouldn't worry.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." I said quickly and kissed her forehead before racing out of the door, I couldn't wait for Bella to meet JoJo.

I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I'm sure it'll be ok. And maybe it won't be ok now or maybe it won't be ok later or always, but we'll make it, we'll figure it out.

I'm walking more surely now, with purpose, all the way back to the nursery. It takes me a few minutes to get in and make my way back to her bed, but I get there and I see my dad in the rocking chair, pushed up as close as it'll go to the little bed, and he's patting her on the back as she sleeps.

"Hey dad" I say tiredly.

"You said nothing about touching." He says quickly, with a wary look.

"I know, I know. Now, get out of my seat, Grandpa." I say jokingly, well I do want my seat, but I'm laughing and so is he and I think he's mainly smiling at the word 'grandpa'.

I decide to just go for it and scoop her right up, even though I'm not really sure about it, but she's so tiny it can't be that hard, right? I slide one hand under head and the other under her little bundled up butt and lift her right up to my chest before I sit down. I notice my dad's arm kind of jerks and his hand twitches, he also has his lips together really tight. I'm glad he doesn't interfere and I just start rocking.

"Bella's awake." I say happily. "Did the nurse come by to check the baby?" I ask anxiously.

"No, but I'll go get her."

He's in a rush. I think he wants to get this show on the road so he can hold the baby. I laugh to myself.

I'm trying not to run down the hallway, but it's hard. The nurse next to me, my chaperone I suppose, is probably what's keeping me from breaking out into a sprint, but I'm kind of speed walking as it is and she doesn't say anything about it.

And then we get closer to her room and something doesn't seem right. We pass through the last set of doors and I see some lights going off, white ones, just flashing away.

The nurse stops in front of me, so I have no choice but to stop because I wouldn't run her over, or at least I wouldn't with my daughter.

"We need to go to the nursery first. I forgot to mention that there's something you have to sign there."

She's lying, but she's doing it very well.

"You said it was no problem for me to take the baby to my wife's room." I challenge.

"Oh, it's not. We just have to have you sign something to make her release from the NICU official. Then while we're at the nursery I can make sure the baby has everything she needs." The nurse pointed to the bottom of the bed that had a little cabinet. I couldn't really say anything if we had to get things that JoJo needed.

"Ok, but it won't take long, right?"

"Nope, it'll just take a minute." She gave me a big smile and she seemed so calm.

We kept on walking and had Bella's room been passed the nursery the nurse's plan would have worked, but I glanced over to her room and noticed the light flashing outside her door and I immediately turned towards it, moving the baby with me also.

I couldn't see with all of the people in the way, including the big guy that was standing right inside the doorway. There were so many noises that I didn't really notice the baby was starting to make noises too, she had been so quiet, and then all of a sudden she started screaming and crying like I've never heard.

What does it mean to be an adult? I don't think I knew until today. Does it mean being alive for eighteen years? Voting? Going to war? Going to college? Working? Paying taxes? Just paying for shit in general? No. Being an adult means doing shit that you don't want to do, but you do it because you fucking have to. Walking away from Bella's room was one of those things.

I don't know how I did it and I guess it was because it was what I needed to do and plus the nurse kind of herded me into the nursery by pushing JoJo's bed into me until I moved and that continued all the way into the nursery.

Even though parents aren't usually allowed all the way into this nursery I suppose an exception was made since I didn't have much of a choice and I'm sure they didn't want me just roaming around the halls. She led me into a room and I sat because she kind of shoved me and I held JoJo because she put her into my arms and I didn't have much of a choice, it's not like I would've dropped her and I suppose the nurse knew that. JoJo was still crying and it sobered me some.

"Let me get you a bottle and show you how to feed her. It's pretty easy, she'll do most of the work." She said lightly, but it didn't reach her eyes.

I looked up, blank and empty. "I know-I know what that was. I know it was a code blue." I choked out.

She replied with one small nod before she knelt down in front of me in the chair, with a bottle in her hand. She made sure the baby was upright enough in my arms and then put the bottle to her mouth and JoJo sucked on to it immediately. This was just one more thing that wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"Bella wanted to…"

"I know." Was her simple answer and it was enough. "When she gets finished, I'll show you how to change her diaper."

"I have to know if my wife is ok."

She didn't say anything. She left and didn't return for awhile. I went back and forth about how this could be a good sign or a really bad sign.

She came in with a small smile playing on her lips. "Let's change this baby and then we can go over to your wife's room."

I thought we were just going to change her diaper, but it was more like we were changing her entire chemical makeup. She showed me how to do fucking everything - the diaper, the bottle, burping, the cleaning of the umbilical cord, wrapping the blanket in some fancy way, fucking everything.

We went to a different hall and a different room. I was in a big hurry to get into the room. I wanted to rush to Bella's side, touch her to make sure she was real and breathing and actually in front of me, but I was afraid to; she looked so fragile.

I guess I was just stuck in place for a moment when the nurse spoke up.

"So, I'm just going to leave you guys alone, there should be a nurse in here frequently, but you know what you're doing with the baby, so you can keep her here, or send her to the nursery whenever you need to."

I nodded my head knowing damn well that I wouldn't be sending her. She knew too, it must've been why she showed me how to do everything.

"Thank you." I said and she just gave me a solemn nod before ducking out of the door.

I wheeled JoJo over by the wall to give room for all the monitors and where Bella's nurse would probably be walking. I sat down in a chair by Bella and just stared at her. Every so often I inched the chair closer until I could no longer get any closer.

I didn't say anything yet, I was still working on it. I glanced over at the baby who was sleeping contently across the room and I got up to move her a little closer to the bed. Then I determined that she might be in the way so instead of moving her back to where she was I just moved her closer to the foot of the bed. I sat back down and stared some more. My chair had gotten moved back when I stood up so I started the process of scooting closer again. But then I would notice that JoJo was just too far away and I would get up to move her again and then the whole process would start all over. Eventually, it ended with JoJo within arm's reach and my chair the closest possible to Bella and everything was fine.

The nurse had been in a few times, she didn't say much and neither did I. So, when I heard the door creak open I didn't think much of it.

"Edward?"

"Dad" I croaked out in a sad whisper and for some reason it made me incredibly sad to see his face. His eyes were red and a bit swollen with puffy bags underneath. And I realized that I missed him, that I had been here all alone and he was just gone.

"Where have you been?" I had begun to feel a little mad, but I didn't have the energy to convey that in my voice and truthfully, my happiness that he was here now kind of outweighed my anger.

"I need to talk to you and I think it may be best if we have this conversation out here."

"No." I was tired of being pulled around, told where to go and where not to go, and given bad news, and all in all I was just tired. No fuck that, I was staying right here.

I inhaled a big breath and blew it out noisily, thinking that this might just be another one of those things that I just don't want to fucking do, but end up doing anyway…I think being an adult kind of fucking sucks.

I held a finger up to my dad telling him I'd be out in a minute and he quietly shut the door behind him.

I leaned forward and put my hand just slightly on Bella's arm.

"Hey, love, I'm here and I just wanted to tell you that me and the baby will be right here waiting for you. We love you so much."

I got up and moved JoJo, yet again, to be close to the door and I stepped right outside of it and left the door open so I could see the baby as she was just right behind me.

Now it was my dad's turn to let out a loud breath and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm not sure where to begin." He was tired and he looked older at the moment, or maybe I was just now noticing.

I wanted to say to begin at the beginning, but I didn't, it just didn't seem appropriate or helpful. He then started raking his hand through his hair, all nervous habits that I had inherited, but he usually did well at hiding his nervousness. It was getting uncomfortable to watch.

"I know Bella coded." I just thought I would throw that out there, maybe it would help start some sort of communicating.

"Yes." He began and became more composed. "After you left her room and her new nurse checked on her, there seemed to be some…confusion." I nodded and he continued. "The nurse was under the impression that…well, she was under the wrong impression. Bella's mother has been calling to check to see if she was having the baby, I guess she had tried calling a few different hospitals because she had no other way of getting a hold of her, but when Bella pre-registered and indicated that basic information such as room number can be released the nurse told her that Bella would be giving birth here. She told the nurse that Bella was giving the baby up for adoption and that she was calling so she could be here for her. She called again this morning and happened to talk to the same nurse."

"Wait" I held up my hand because I wasn't sure if I understood all, or any, of this. "How would Bella's mom even know to ask for the right name? She doesn't even know that her last name is Cullen now."

"She pre-registered before you were married."

"Oh." That was all I could think to say.

He tried to continue in a calm tone. "Basically, the nurse told Bella she would have her moved out of the post-partum wing since she wouldn't be taking a baby home."

"What the fuck!" I yelled. I was so fucking pissed. No one was really around to hear me, but I didn't continue yelling.

"I know, I know –"

"No, you don't fucking know. Bella-" I got choked up and I couldn't even finish, I just pointed to where she lay.

"The nurse has been fired and I believe Renee has been deterred from coming."

I started grumbling profanities as I scrubbed my face with both of my palms. I really didn't want to hear anymore of this.

"Ok, so nurse problem handled?" He nodded. "Renee problem? Because so help me, if she shows up…"

"It won't happen." He assured me.

"Good. Is there anything else?"

"Everyone has been so worried. They just want you to know that they're thinking of you and Bella, and of course the baby."

"Thanks, Dad. I mean thanks for everything, I don't know…"

"I know, son. I know." His eyes looked watery and he clasped his hand on my shoulder.

"I have to go talk to Esme, but tell me as soon as anything changes." I nodded and our eyes were locked for a moment and there was an understanding and then he let go and walked away.

I went back in and moved the baby back to the side of the bed and just sat there. I didn't know what else to do, so that's what I did. I'm not sure how long it had been, but JoJo started crying and I freaked out, but just for a second, really more like a mili-second I'd say.

I tried to change her diaper but she was squirming and screaming, and I knew she was hungry so I just fed her first, it felt mean to make her wait. I did let her cry a little right by Bella, but nothing happened. I didn't let myself think too much about it. When she was done eating she was fast asleep and I felt bad for messing with her while she was asleep, she grunted at me a few times, but I changed her diaper, realized it was backwards, changed it again, and then everything was fine. The nurse hadn't even come in to see what the commotion was all about.

I laid my head on the edge of Bella's bed and maybe I fell asleep for a while I'm not sure, but I heard a noise and looked up to see her hand going straight for her face, or rather all the stuff that was on her face.

"No, you don't." I said softly as I grabbed a hold of her arm. "You've scared me enough for one day."

Her eyes were barely open and I could see her mouth move strangely and her tongue went across her lips slowly. She was looking around and I didn't think she was very awake yet. Before I could say anything she started to talk.

"I-" she started, but didn't finish and her face winced and it looked like her hand was trying to grab at her throat.

"I can get you some ice water." I said and I was still holding her arm and my thumb was moving across her skin.

"No! Don't go, please." She said pretty loudly and her hand tried to clutch my shirt. "Last time..oh God, last time, but was it real? Was I dreaming?" She looked at me with panic in her eyes.

"It was real." I said sadly. "There's a lot I have to tell you, but right now I have something to show you or rather someone who's been waiting to meet you."

"Baby?" She asked, already crying. I was on the verge of crying too.

I picked up JoJo quickly and turned around, Bella's eyes were glued to us.

"Joey" She said in her scratchy voice and reached out towards her and I knew Bella just wanted to be close and to finally hold our baby and I shake my head knowing now's the time I tell her it's a girl.

"JoJo" I correct her.

"But I thought we decided on Joey." She says with an unhappy look on her face.

"We decided to name our son Joey. Bella, meet our daughter, JoJo." I have a huge smile on my face and I'm just holding her up kind of weirdly and I feel her squirm under my hands, I think it's because she heard Bella's voice.

Bella shook her head and laughed at me. She stopped like it hurt, but it's like she couldn't help it and she just continued to laugh and then she's smiling and crying again.

I move down and lay the baby on her shoulder and I'm still holding her, but Bella puts her hand on her too.

The look on Bella's face is something I could never explain, but it made me forget the hell I had went through the past day, even if just for a moment. I watched them as their brown eyes stared at each other until I'm crying too and I didn't even try to stop this time. The tears rolled down my face and I didn't care because I was so happy.

"Elizabeth" She whispered to the baby.

I nod and I cry harder, but I can't remember being any happier.

"Elizabeth" I said kissing my daughter's head, "just like your grandma."

Bella's eyes got big and her mouth turned into an 'O' and my suspicions were confirmed; I never told her my mother's name. I just smiled and nodded to her.

"It's perfect, just like both my girls." I kissed them on their heads and whispered 'I love you' to both of them.

**AN –**

**This chapter is about half beta'd, so any mistakes are my own, but hopefully you are too happy to notice any because I just wanted to update as soon as possible. :)**

**NICU – Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, where the babies that need extra medical attention go.**

**Apgar Score - A simple method to quickly assess the health of a ****newborn**** immediately after ****birth****.**

**This chapter is very canon, but if you're like me and read as much fanfiction, you've probably forgotten where you've read what. Lol **

**As many of you probably know, ffn has disabled website links because blah, blah, blah. Basically, I'm sorry that none of the links on my page work, hopefully they'll allow it again soon.**

**So, was it everything you hoped it'd be? Are we happy? Want to spoon?**


	28. Chapter 28 The Name

**DISCLAIMER – I do not own Twilight. **

**AN – **

**As always, I'm ever grateful to the readers and Beta Lulu. Special thanks go to new reader LaPumuckl, who reviewed every single chapter and DreamOfTheEndless who was reviewer #900, thank you! A big shout out goes out to KRYork, thank you for hassling me when I don't update and crying when you read the update. **

**This chapter is a bit short, but next chapter will be much longer as it will conclude the hospital stay and well, the whole story. **

**I may be a slow updating hoor, but I'm your slow updating hoor and I love you!**

Chapter 28

The Name

"_My momma told me don't lose you  
'Cause the best luck I had was you_

It seems like everywhere I go  
The more I see, the less I know  
But I know one thing  
That I love you (baby girl)  
I love you, I love you, I love you"

_Say Hey (I Love You), Michael Franti & Spearhead_

_~Previously on TB_

_The look on Bella's face is something I could never explain, but it made me forget the hell I had went through the past day, even if just for a moment. I watched them as their brown eyes stared at each other until I'm crying too and I didn't even try to stop this time. The tears rolled down my face and I didn't care because I was so happy._

"_Elizabeth" She whispered to the baby._

_I nod and I cry harder, but I can't remember being any happier._

"_Elizabeth" I said kissing my daughter's head, "just like your grandma."_

_Bella's eyes got big and her mouth turned into an 'O' and my suspicions were confirmed; I never told her my mother's name. I just smiled and nodded to her. _

"_It's perfect, just like both my girls." I kissed them on their heads and whispered 'I love you' to both of them._

**EPOV ~ The Next Morning **

I was in the process of telling Bella everything. Well, we hadn't gotten past the whole nurse ordeal yet, so I suppose we were still at the beginning of this fuckawful process.

"What do you mean she was fired!?" She exclaimed yet again and I was using a lot of self control at the moment.

"Bella, like I already said, she killed you and I suppose that's against some sort of hospital policy and now she has been fired."

She frowned before she spoke "She didn't _kill_ me. She actually probably saved my life because she initiated the resuscitation." She countered.

"Yeah, resuscitation, _after_ she killed you!"

"I just don't want anyone fired because of me!" She was wailing now and I knew I had to stop this.

"Bella, she did something wrong and she's being punished for it. That's just how things work. She was fired for her own actions, quit taking responsibility for something she did."

"Yeah, but-"

"There's no buts, and I really want to stop talking about _the_ nurse."

"You really need to quit calling all of the nurses 'the nurse'. It's confusing and I think they would appreciate being called by their first names, instead of "the stupid one that got fired, the first one, and the one with the tits." She gave me a skeptical look.

It was true. I hated the stupid, bitch nurse that got fired, the first one or sometimes referred to as 'favorite nurse' she was the one that took Bella to the operating room and talked to me afterwards. I suppose they all had tits, but fuck, the one had them practically hanging out of her scrubs and I'm almost sure they're pierced.

"Well, I don't know their names. What am I supposed to call them?"

"Oh, I don't know, but here's an idea. Learn their names!"

"Oh, because you know all of their names!?"

"Barbara, Charity, and Kelly." She responded instantly.

Of course she knew all their names. I don't know why I would've thought otherwise. There were other nurses too, but those were the main ones, but she probably knew all their freaking names too. I didn't say anything, just scowled.

"Yeah, the nurse that got fired has an actual name because she's a real person and she probably has kids to support!" Ok, we were back to the wailing.

"Bella, that old woman has as many kids at home as Grandma Cullen does."

She sniffled and looked up at me. "I thought Grandma Cullen was dead."

"My point exactly."

She huffed at me, but thank goodness she quit talking about it.

"Ok, so we have other things to talk about." I said quietly trying to ease her into a different conversation.

"Like this paperwork we have to get returned? Elizabeth still doesn't have a middle name."

"Marie. There, that's finished. Can we get back to talking about the other stuff?" I said shortly and she huffed at me again.

"No, not Marie. This is our daughter's name, the name she'll have forever. Can you please take it more seriously!" Wailing again. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose before responding.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I said softly because a real man knows when to step down because there's no winning otherwise, or so I'm told. "What name were you thinking of?" I asked.

"I don't know." She had her lip puffed out and I didn't know what to say. I thought Marie was a pretty good suggestion.

"How about Edwina?" I said straight-faced.

"Ok." She said nodding her head.

"What the…are you serious? You didn't like Marie, but you like _Edwina_?" I said the name like it tasted bad in my mouth because, fuck, it must. That's why I've never met anyone named that.

"Well, I didn't know you weren't being serious. I thought you wanted to name her after you. If were just joking around how about Gertrude or Brunhilda?"

"I wanted to name her after you. What's wrong with Marie?"

"Nothing. I just don't want to name her that."

"Fine. She's named after my mother, so is there a family name from your family that you would like to use?"

"No, not really. I want something that means something, like _really_ means something." She said passionately. I'm not sure I understood what she meant.

"Like Love or Hope? Or what did you say the first nurse's name was? Charity? Yeah, something like that?"

"Well, no, but I do kind of like that." She said and I could tell she was thinking.

"Ok, how about Hope? That's nice." I felt like that could represent a lot of what we had felt over all these months. She thought for a minute before she responded.

"Hope is something we do when we are uncertain of what's going to happen, but we know what we wish to happen. I knew in my heart that whatever happened it would be for the best. I didn't know when or how or even what that would be, but I just knew that baby wasn't the mistake everyone said she was, she's a miracle and I had faith that everything would be ok even though I was so scared most of the time. I had faith."

I smiled, a real smile.

"Elizabeth Faith Cullen" I said aloud.

"That sounds perfect!" She had a huge beaming smile too. "Now, we just have to think of a nickname."

"I don't know if we're capable of any more thinking." I said with a groan. " And why a nickname? You don't even like yours."

"I know, but Elizabeth is such a big, grown up name for such a little baby."

"Ok, but let's think about that later. We're going to have visitors soon." I said looking at the clock.

I filled out the paperwork that was full of redundant questions while she ate breakfast. The nurse had come in to check both Bella and Elizabeth. Everything seemed to be going well, but we knew it would be awhile before Bella was released due to all of her complications.

She was still hooked up to a bunch of tubes and monitors. Her chest was bruised terribly and she tried really hard to keep me from seeing it, but I had. It was horrible and I knew she was really sore even though she tried to act like she wasn't. I tried to help with the baby as much as I could. I had changed a few more diapers and wasn't really getting any better, but I was trying.

The ledge by the window was already filled with balloons and flowers that must have been sent last night because they were waiting here when she was transferred to a regular room. Well, I don't know about regular, it was pretty big, like a suite or some shit, but we didn't complain because at least she wouldn't have a roommate.

The clock just struck 8 o'clock when Alice burst through the door looking over perky even for her. She had on a flowery dress with big jewelry and really high shoes that made her an almost average height. She also had a huge pink diaper bag that looked to be bursting at the seams hanging off her shoulder.

"Good morning! Where's the baby!?" Glad to see she had her priorities straight.

She didn't even really look at us. She went straight to the crib and picked Elizabeth up and held her close. Elizabeth didn't seem to object.

"I already washed my hands so don't worry." She said and was all smiles.

"Bella" She said sadly while looking at her sister in law. She put one hand on Bella's arm and her other arm was wrapped around the baby. She didn't elaborate, they shared a look, and then that was it.

"Two hands." Bella scolded her with a pointed finger and she quickly held the baby with two.

I moved a chair close to Bella's bed so Alice could sit there and talk. She was going on and on about the clothes that she brought. Apparently, Elizabeth would be getting her photo taken and she wanted to be sure she had an outfit to wear. She also packed a bunch of other 'girl appropriate accessories'. I'm not sure exactly what that meant, but she showed Bella a bunch of outfits, sleepers, dresses, bibs, socks, booties, bonnets, and I don't even know what else.

"Wow, I didn't even think the stores were open yet." Bella exclaimed at the pile that had accumulated on her lap.

"Oh, I bought these things months ago." Alice said casually with a wave of her hand.

"You knew she was a girl?" Bella asked incredulously, but Alice just shrugged her shoulders.

I guess we didn't have to worry about the nursery being some blue, boy only type room, not that I had thought of it until now, but it was good to know that I didn't have to worry about it.

Then my dad, Esme, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper all came in. I noticed Jasper giving Alice a look. She must've ditched them all and it made me laugh to think about it.

I snatched the baby back from Alice which I'm sure she would've protested if she thought she had any chance of winning.

Poor Elizabeth had been passed around like a hot potato, but it wasn't so bad. Rose had even tried to sing her a lullaby. Tried being the operative word, for someone so pretty you would probably never guess she had such a horrible singing voice. Well, Elizabeth placed her little hand right on Rose's mouth. It was like she was saying "Shut up!". We all laughed, well everyone except Rose. Everybody had held Elizabeth for awhile, but oddly enough, it seemed she always ended up back in Alice's arms. Alice even volunteered to change her diaper, for which I was overjoyed. Of course, it was soon discovered that her main motivation behind that was to change the baby out of the hospital provided onesie and into one that read "I'm a hottie and so is my Auntie!".

My family had just made their way to the cafeteria and I took a deep breath. I was reclined in the chair next to Bella's bed with Elizabeth in my arms and I thought we would get a moment alone, maybe to talk or maybe just to be quiet and to be together. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but I have a new family now and I was excited to just be with them for a moment. I think Bella felt that way too. She was just quietly laying in bed looking at us and it was a nice moment.

It was Bella who broke the silence.

"Do you think it's weird for your dad that the baby is named Elizabeth?"

"What? No. No, way. He seemed really happy when I told him and no one really called her Elizabeth; they called her Lizzie."

"Oh" She said simply with the slightest pout of her lip.

"That's the nick name you liked wasn't it?"

"Yeah, but we can find another."

"Sure we can; there are tons."

She thought for a moment before spouting a few off. "Libby, Betty, Liza, Betsy".

She stopped suddenly with a quirked eyebrow. It was then that I realized I was making a sour face.

"So, I guess you don't like any of those?" She asked with a laugh.

"I don't think you did either." I said while shaking my head.

Our moment alone was short lived though because in walked Emily and her cousin Leah. They had their hands full with more balloons and stuffed animals and a little girl I had never met before.

"Hey, guys!" Bella seemed really excited to see them.

"Oh my gosh!" They yelled back and after that it was just a lot of hugging and blubbering.

I put Elizabeth back in her bed, thinking I would just let her rest while they talked.

Emily handed me the balloons that were tied to a fluffy something. I took them over to the ledge and made room for them among the sea of varying shades of pink. Well, except for one, lone blue balloon in the back. I didn't think much of it and sat the new ones in front of it. I turned around to see the little girl staring up at me.

"Hi, what's your name?" I said to the little girl. I could totally do this, be all cool with little kids, after all I was a father now.

"I'm Cwaire and I'm free." She said with a big smile and held up three fingers.

Emily blushed and picked up Claire.

"Sorry, Edward." She smiled and gave me a one armed hug and said congratulations.

To this, Claire got very excited and bounced up and down a little while clapping. "Where's da baby? Where's da baby?" She sang.

Emily just laughed "This is my niece, Claire, who really loves babies."

Who was I to keep a three year old waiting? I quickly scooped up the baby and showed her to Claire.

"This is baby Elizabeth." I told her.

"Lilly Beth" She slurred.

"No, E-liz-a-beth." Emily sounded out for her, but she just kept saying "Lilly Beth" over and over again.

I looked at Bella and our eyes just locked, Lilly, that was the one.

My family had come back in and visited for awhile longer until they finally left. It was like they worked in rotations because when they came back, Emily and Leah took Claire to get some lunch. Not long after my family left Emily and Leah came back to visit a little longer and somehow I was the one that had Claire in my lap with Elizabeth, or rather Lilly, in her lap. It was cute and I had to banish the thought from head that this is how it would be if Lilly were to become a big sister someday. I still had to have that discussion with Bella, but for now I just had to be thankful for the wonderful things I did have in my life.

Lilly was getting really fussy and Claire seemed about done with the whole visit too. Leah took Claire into the restroom and when she was walking out Jacob was walking into the room and they nearly collided. Well, they kind of did collide, but it ended up being this weird embrace, staring thing. He ended up walking them down to the parking garage and didn't return for a little while.

Bella was feeding Lilly when I just blurted it out.

"The doctor said we would probably not have any more children."

She looked at me for a moment. I had been thinking about just waiting for the doctor since he was the one with the explanations and could answer any questions, but I felt like I just couldn't keep it in any longer.

"But probably isn't for sure, right? I mean, they didn't do a hysterectomy or anything, right?"

"No. No, they didn't. I honestly don't remember everything the doctor said as far as reasoning and medical mumbo jumbo, we just might not have any other children."

The thoughtful, contemplative look hadn't left her face.

"And how do you feel about that?" She asked me.

"Kind of shitty." I answered. Her face fell a little, but she didn't say anything. "I feel like it's my fault, that it's all my fault and I know that you wanted more kids…"

"_You_ feel at fault?! It's my body, shouldn't I feel at fault?"

"Well, it's not really anyone's _fault_, I think these things just happen."

"You're right, they do and I don't want a possibility of maybe something in the future that may or may not happen or that we may or may not want ruin what we do have. I'm happy with the healthy baby we have now and I don't want to think about more children for a long time, so we can deal with it when we get there."

"I love you" I said as I kissed her lips.

Lilly was done eating and had been changed, but she was still crying, she hadn't really cried like this ever. I was trying to rock her when Jacob finally walked back in.

"What in the heck did you do to that baby?" He joked and snatched her right out of my arms. He's nearly as bad as Alice.

She looked even smaller in his giant hands, but he just held her to his chest and let her head rest on his shoulder. He was patting her back and cooing something to her in her ear and she quieted immediately. A small, or maybe not so small, jealous part of me hoped that she would spit up on him.

Bella just smiled at them.

"So, I guess 'Jacob' for a middle name is out?" He joked.

"I'm afraid so."

"How about Jaclyn? Or…"

"Jake, she already has-" Bella tried to tell him, but he wasn't listening and continued to talk.

"Vanessa! Her name should be Vanessa!"

"Ugh, yuck! That's a horrible name, Jake!"

No, it's not!" He defended. "We could call her Nessie!"

"That's your argument? That's even worse." I interjected and laughed.

"Jake, meet Lilly. She already has a name." Bella just smiled at him and I could tell that he had no choice, but to smile back. It didn't make me as uncomfortable as it used to.

He continued to baby talk in Lilly's ear telling her how pretty her name was and that she was beautiful like her mommy. It was true.

Jake had stayed for awhile and when he left I finally got Lilly back and was able to change her and hold her. She seemed a little disappointed that Jake was gone, but she soon fell into a peaceful sleep.

I think we all needed our rest if tomorrow was going to be as crazy as today and knowing our friends and family it would probably be worse.

I wouldn't want it any other way though, I thought as I looked up and caught Bella smiling at me. I gave her a huge smile in return.

~Elizabeth "Lilly" Faith Cullen~

6lb 15oz 21" long

**A/N – **

**I don't feel like there's too much to add. **

**If your name's Vanessa, I apologize. It's not really a horrible name. It just reminds Bella of the sea witch on The Little Mermaid, lol. **

**Please share your thoughts. **


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